A little while later the boys came home from school and they ran up the stairs shouting that the garden was a mess and they wanted to know what had happened and Liza explained about the twins, which the boys found very funny but Patrick confirmed that Gabriel had not been amused but he wasn’t going to do anything about it.
Over the next few days Liza slowly began to regain her strength. Matthew and John came home, although Si would much rather they had stayed longer. Patrick spent some time each day at the fort and Mark Kendal returned. Ada visited nearly every day and Bea brought Rachel and Judith around several times. Kathy was on constant call and she, Zelma and Ellen were towers of strength.
Patrick called on Dr Steele and during their conversation Patrick told him that he was never going to put Liza through anything like that again. She had gone through too much and nearly died and if it hadn’t been for Zelma, she would have done, so he was going to have to be very careful with her and leave her alone. He admitted that he was going to find that hard, so he was thinking of volunteering for patrols that would take him away for long periods of time. He wasn’t going to ask until he was sure that Liza was truly fit.
It became obvious to Patrick that Dr Steele was fighting with his conscience over telling him something. “What is the problem, doctor? Liza and I realised the other day that you were keeping something from us. Should Tom really tell us what it is? But I’m still your patient so you can tell me. Is Liza very ill? She’s not dying, is she?”
“As far as Liza’s concerned, she is no longer my patient, she’s Tom’s, but no, I don’t believe that she is in danger. I can tell you that you don’t need to volunteer for extended patrols. Liza most definitely can’t ever have any more children. It is now an absolute impossibility and I thought that it would be a disappointment for you, but it seems that it may be a blessing in disguise. Tom was going to find the right time to tell you both, but I’ve done that now and really, I’ve partially broken a confidence and I hope you will understand why I have done that. I must see Tom and tell him what I’ve done.”
Dr Steele was right, Patrick was pleased that he would never have to worry about Liza getting pregnant again but he knew that she would be sad. He and the doctor rode out of the fort together; the doctor going on his way to see Tom and Patrick going to break the news to Liza.
Liza was sitting in the rocking chair which was still in the bedroom and she was cuddling Meg when Patrick arrived home. Her pleasure at seeing him home early turned to sadness when he gently told her what Dr Steele had said.
“Oh,” she said quietly and sat for a while thinking about what he had said.
Patrick got down on one knee and put an arm around her. “I know that this makes you very sad, but it does mean that you will never have to go through what you did when you had little Meg. It also means that I never need worry about losing you, so in many ways, I’m pleased.”
“I did so want to give you a healthy child. I thought that when I got over this, we could try again and perhaps be lucky this time. Although I love Meg very much, she isn’t healthy and we have to face the fact that she won’t be with us long and I did want us to have one that we could see grow up like Matthew and John. Yes, I am sad but there is nothing I can do about it, I am sorry, Patrick,” said Liza.
“I told you a long time ago that I love Matthew as if he was my own, and now we have young John to love and we will give little Meg a wonderful time for as long as she is with us. We love one another, don’t we, Liza, so what more do we need?” said Patrick.
“You’re right, Patrick, we don’t need anything more but it would have been nice to have another child,” said Liza.
“The reason that Dr Steele told me about this was because I had said that I was going to volunteer for extended patrols once I was sure you were fit,” said Patrick.
Liza looked at him in horror, “Why, Patrick? Has all this upset you so much that you need to be away from us?”
“No Liza, it was because I told him that I would never again put you through what happened to you when you had Meg and the only way I could do that was to stay away from you. But I don’t have to now, so as Dr Steele said to me, it’s probably a blessing in disguise, and when you get over your sadness, I think you will see it that way too,” said Patrick.
Tom came up the stairs calling out as he went. “Dr Steele told me what he said to you, Patrick, and he was right to let me know what he had done. I’m so sorry that this has happened to you both, however you have to appreciate that it was a miracle that you conceived at all. So much damage was done to you when you were hurt a few years ago and now you have sustained further damage. You will heal but it will take time, however I’m afraid your child bearing days are definitely over. I’m so sorry to have to tell you this,” said Tom.
“There could have been worse things, we could have lost Liza and that would have been my worst nightmare. If the price to keep her safe is that we have no more children then I, for one, think that it’s a very small price to pay. We already have two healthy boys and we have a lovely little girl who we’ll love for as long as she is around,” said Patrick.
“How are the twins, Tom?” asked Liza.
“They’re still very pleased with themselves. They can’t see that they’ve done anything wrong. Their logic is that the flowers were growing in the ground so they picked them as they knew you loved flowers. They are, however, going to help to tidy up the gardens in the Boarding House and at Gabriel’s at the weekend and then after that they’ll help with your garden. I see the look of horror on your face, Liza, but they have to learn that if they make a mistake like that, they have to help to put it right,” said Tom.
“I’m sure that’s not going to please Gabriel. He dislikes gardening at the best of times, having help from the twins is going to stretch his patience. I think I’ll get myself in a position to watch at the weekend. It’s something I may enjoy even if Gabriel won’t,” said Liza. “Ellen has been absolutely fantastic to me, Tom, she has been such a great help. She seems to instinctively know what to do.”
“She’s had to do a great many things in her life to not only help herself, but to help others. We like having her around. We feel as if she has been with us forever and of course she’s devoted to the twins. I think she is also now devoted to little Meg. I believe she has told you that she wants to work with children in some way and you can see that she has a way with them,” said Tom.
Zelma came up to tell them that both Sean and Mark were here and would like to come and see her if it was convenient, which, of course, it was and they bounded up the stairs.
“Lovely to see you, Liza,” said Mark as he came in and gave Liza a kiss on the cheek. “What on earth has happened to your garden?”
Liza looked at Tom and said, “You’d better explain,” which he did much to the amusement of both Sean and Mark. They were even more amused when they were told that the gardens from Liza’s to the doctors were in the same condition.
“Very nice flowers you have here, Liza,” said Mark, “and so many of them.”
Liza asked Mark about his assignment which he said he had found very interesting but he had very little time off so he was pleased to be back in many ways, as he felt the need to rest for a while. He asked how she was now as he had heard that she had not been too well, which was his delicate way of enquiring how the birth had gone. She replied that she was better now and it wouldn’t be too long before she was back on her feet. He asked if she had seen the colonel’s daughter, obviously nobody had told him about her upsetting the children the way she had and why should they, he had been away and it was over and done with.
“No, I haven’t seen her, Mark. I’ve been a little bit preoccupied recently,” said Liza.
“Of course, you have,” he said. “How are the boys, I’ve missed them. There’s nothing like a child to bring you down to earth. I still remember the huge snowball fight we all had; it was wonderful to feel like a child again and I missed our Sunday lunches.”
Neither Sean nor Mark asked how little Meg was; they were being tactful as they knew that she was not as a baby should be.
Tom left as the boys arrived home from school and childish looks came into both Sean’s and Mark’s eyes and a smile covered the boys’ faces as well as Mark’s and Sean’s and they were all off and scrabbling around with a ball in the road outside the house.
“Don’t you want to join them, Patrick?” asked Liza. He looked out of the window, gave Liza a kiss on the head and was off down the stairs to join them and it was just as well that Meg was sleeping soundly because the noise penetrated up to the bedroom. It was the first time since before Meg was born that Patrick had been so relaxed and Liza had to recognise that it was because he didn’t have to worry that she would ever get pregnant again.
In another two days Liza made it down the stairs and was happily sitting back in her rocking chair in the living room. It was now nearly two weeks since Meg was born. She was very delicate and Matilda was still feeding her but she was taking more from Zelma’s concoction. Ellen called in every day as did Kathy. Hannah kept a regular watch on everyone and Ada paid more than a usual number of visits to town to see Liza when she frequently wanted to talk to her about Felicity as she seemed to be getting more and more out of control. Ada was also concerned as Mark was showing more than a casual interest in her and Ada was worried that he was going to get hurt.
“I don’t think there is anything I can do about that, Ada. I have mentioned to him that Felicity is still married, but all he said was that it was no longer a proper marriage. I don’t know whether he knows about her daughter; I haven’t told him. I try not to be judgemental but I do find it difficult. Perhaps the attraction will burn itself out. Do you think the colonel could get him transferred again?” asked Liza.
“I wonder if that would be ethical,” said Ada. “I suppose I could suggest it to him. Do you know if Edward has divorced her yet?”
“I would have thought that Felicity would be the first one to know,” said Liza.
“Yes, I would think that also, but I know that you get regular letters from the Fullers and thought it might have been mentioned,” said Ada.
“It does sometimes get mentioned, but divorce can be a very slow process. It isn’t recognised in Ireland so the procedure has to take place either in England or America. I’m sure that you will know before I do,” said Liza.
Ada left mulling over the idea of getting the colonel to transfer Mark out of harm’s way, although Liza hoped not too soon a she and Patrick wanted to ask him to be godfather to little Meg. They had discussed it thoroughly and as they didn’t believe that John had been christened, they thought that they could ask George to do them both together. Their idea was to have Mark and Brigeta as god parents to little Meg and Sean and Angela for John. Liza was also going to ask George if it was possible to have Ben as godfather to Matthew; not to replace poor Danny but to have him added officially as he had acted as such since Danny’s death. She was not sure of the procedure for such an event and if it was possible, she wanted to reassure Kathy and Joe that Danny would always be named as Matthew’s godfather, it would mean that Ben would carry out duties on his behalf.
She and Patrick had explained to both Brigeta and Mark that their tenure as godparents could be quite short and gave them the option of refusing, but both had said that they would carry out their duties as long as would be necessary. Angela and Sean were delighted to be asked to stand for John and Ben was waiting to see how George would be able to handle his addition as Matthew’s godfather. It was to be organised for two weeks’ time as Liza felt that she would be fit enough by then.
Several times during the following two weeks Mark came to see Liza and she was very concerned to learn how enamoured he was with Felicity. “I think I love her, Liza,” he said to her one day. “When she’s free, I want to marry her. I have never felt so certain about anything before. Do you know when her divorce will be through?”
“Mark, you’re making this very difficult for me,” said Liza. “You know that Edward is one of my greatest friends and his parents and brothers have been more of a family to me than my own parents and I do think that you are rushing into this relationship. How does Felicity feel about it all?”
“She enjoys my company, although she is a little concerned about how we are going to be able to afford to live. I have reassured her that my salary is enough to keep us both and any family we may have. I may not be as rich as your friend Edward, but I know that our love is enough, we don’t need much money,” said Mark.
“Are you sure about that, Mark? Felicity became used to a very privileged lifestyle and even the colonel and his wife are better off than you are,” said Liza.
“Felicity’s like you, Liza, she’s much happier with the simple life, besides her husband gave her a great deal of money to spend in New York so she has everything that she needs for the next few years and by then I will probably be earning more,” said Mark.
“I’m not sure that Edward financed her New York trip,” said Liza quietly as she battled with the decision whether or not to tell him what really had happened in New York, but finally decided to keep her own counsel. She would have a talk to Ada the next day to see what she had to say.
“I believe that she would like to live quietly as you do,” said Mark.
“I hardly live quietly. I have too many businesses to deal with, and I see so many people each day. No, I don’t live very quietly,” said Liza. “Oh Mark, I don’t want to see you hurt.”
“I won’t be hurt, Liza. I am going to spend the rest of my life with the woman that I love and who loves me and I’m going to look after her and cherish her, just the way Patrick does with you. I am so happy and I am so pleased that I can talk to you about it, as you understand what love is,” said Mark.
“I understand what my own love is, Mark. I truly hope that it all works out for you. Patrick and I are very fond of you, as you know. I would just advise you to take all this very slowly,” said Liza. She felt a shiver up her spine and a memory of Edward talking with similar passion a few years ago; she also had a feeling of utmost sadness as she knew without doubt that this relationship was going to end so very badly.
Similar visits and conversations happened nearly every other day and Liza was getting more and more concerned for Mark and on one of Ada’s visits Liza once again suggested that perhaps the colonel could make arrangements to transfer Mark to another post for a few weeks, if not months.
“I feel that I am being pulled very much in several directions, Ada,” said Liza one day. “I have Mark telling me how he feels about somebody who I know dislikes me immensely and who is also the daughter of my greatest friends. She is still married to someone who I consider closer than my own family and I’m being asked advice from everyone. I really don’t want to pass any opinion to anybody, I just want everyone to get on and be happy but perhaps a time away from here for Mark could be an answer, to give everyone some breathing space.”
Patrick was also concerned for Mark as he seemed so preoccupied with Felicity that he was making mistakes. Only very small things and when he was out in the field his concentration was totally on the job in hand, but around the fort he was forgetting what his duties were and was often missing. Both Patrick and Sean covered for him but it would be noticed soon enough. Captain Graves was not a stupid man and Patrick felt that he was aware that Mark was sometimes not where he should be and it was naturally difficult for everyone as it was the colonel’s daughter who seemed to be taking up all his thoughts.
Meg was now a month old and Liza had been able to leave her house and had managed to successfully reach Kathy and Joe’s on a few occasions. She had to take it very slowly as she found it surprising how tired she could feel. Zelma, Kathy, Ellen and Hannah were going to help Liza with the arrangements for a small gathering after the christening ceremony. Ada and Bea were also going to help and then Ada dropped the bombshell that Mark had asked Felicity to accompany him,
but in the church she would be sitting with Ada and the colonel as Mark would be with Brigeta, Angela, Sean and Ben, who George said could easily be added as Matthew’s godfather without him being baptised again.
Patrick was annoyed that Felicity had somehow been invited to the christenings. “You are going to have to try to avoid her in your own home. I’m really annoyed at Mark for asking her. I know you are making a very great effort to organise this and I’m a little worried about you; I can see that you are still not completely fit. You hide it well, but I know you and can see through the face that you show to the outside world and I really don’t want you to have to put up with Felicity’s nasty comments. It’s a shame that the colonel and Ada didn’t step in and ban her from the party.”
“She is their daughter and I suppose I should have invited her to start with. Anyway, as long as she keeps her nasty remarks directed at me rather than the boys, then I’ll be able to cope with it,” said Liza. “I’m sure the colonel will keep her in order, especially after the episode at the fort with the boys.”
The church service went smoothly and everyone came back to Patrick’s and Liza’s afterwards. The gathering also was a happy event but Mark couldn’t understand why the majority of the people avoided Felicity. The boys would not go near her and they noticeably whispered behind their hands. He had heard rumours that she had upset the boys and he put that down to the fact that she was not used to being with children and their unease with her would pass.
Liza was her usual smiling self, making everyone welcome, even Felicity, and the colonel was definitely watching his daughter closely. He was determined that she would not ruin yet another gathering. He could see how she was leading young Mark Kendal on and he knew that she didn’t really want him, but she said that ‘he was the best of a bad bunch’. He was making arrangements to have Mark transferred to Clarkson but he could only organise that he was away for a few weeks; he hoped that it would be sufficient time for his ardour to cool and he hoped that the adage ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ wouldn’t apply to this relationship.
Against All Odds Page 53
