Open Mind (Kink Chronicles Book 1)
Page 9
Ronan turned, kissing the side of Jamie’s head, then his cheek before slowly pulling out of Jamie. As exposed as he was, Jamie didn’t immediately move, other than to plant his feet on the floor. The floaty feeling from moments ago was receding. He knew he had to move and put his pants on…and maybe run to the bathroom to gather himself and clean up. Before he could do any of that, Ronan was back, gently cleaning him up.
Jamie was just about to step away when the doctor was done when Ronan’s hand landed on his shoulder, propelling him forward toward the exam table again. Ronan pushed Jamie over it, once again making his breath hitch.
“Stay right there. I need to check you over.” At first, Jamie didn’t understand what Ronan was talking about, but then he felt his ass cheeks being pulled apart again, exposing that part of himself to his boss. Ronan prodded and poked for moment before asking, “Was I too rough?”
Jamie was supremely confused by the question at first. How could he be hurt when he’d asked, no, begged this man to fuck him and even pulled him in so he’d do it faster? But then, this was Dr. Kincaid, the kind-hearted man who liked to play rough but always cared for his partners afterward. Jamie knew that because he’d seen it twice now.
“No, I’m fine. Thank you for asking.”
One last caress to his ass, and an unexpected kiss over his hole, and Ronan stepped back. Jamie stood, but before he turned to face the doctor, he bent and pulled on his pants, tying them firmly. Taking a deep breath, he turned.
Ronan was gorgeous. Jamie thought he’d be riddled with doubt and regret, but seeing that look on the man’s face, the flushed cheeks and dilated pupils—a look Jamie had put there—he had no regrets.
Okay, maybe a little bit of regret. He still had to work with the man.
Jamie forced a small smile, trying for nonchalance and probably epically failing since it was followed by Ronan losing his real smile.
Ronan stepped close, cupping Jamie’s cheek with his hand. “I know you must be confused about…well, everything you’ve been watching and definitely about tonight. Take the night. Think about it, maybe jot down some questions, and we can talk tomorrow when I pick you up for dinner.”
Jamie looked into those eyes that did things to him and wondered how he’d get through this. Every time he was close to this man, he forgot all good sense. Maybe taking the time to think about what was next would help, but Jamie wasn’t sure.
He nodded, not sure what to say.
Ronan stepped back, gesturing for Jamie to walk out in front of him. “What about the…table?” Jamie asked as his face flushed.
Ronan smiled again, and Jamie felt relief course through him that his doctor wasn’t mad at him.
“Don’t worry, I’ll clean up before I lock up.”
Ronan walked Jamie to the back exit. The same one he’d snuck in through earlier in the night.
Jamie grabbed the door handle at the same time Ronan had reached around him to grab it. He froze, not sure what to do. He didn’t want to move away but also knew the smart thing would be to put some space between them.
“Text me when you get home. I need to know you’re safe, my naughty little nurse.” Ronan spoke into Jamie’s ear, making a shiver run down his spine and his cock twitch. Jamie nodded, unable to get the words out of his lips, afraid a moan would replace it. “Remember, tomorrow night I’ll pick you up at your apartment for dinner at six. Be good for me until then.” He kissed Jamie’s cheek, lingering has he inhaled deeply.
Ronan stepped back, allowing room for Jamie to pull open the door. He only hesitated for a moment before quickly opening and walking out the door without looking back.
Jamie didn’t remember the drive from work to home, but Andy was locked up in his room by the time Jamie got there. Glad of not having to explain his appearance to his roommate, he walked to the shower, placing his wallet, keys, and cell on the counter before stripping out of his scrubs. He stared at the cell, wondering if he should text Ronan like he was told to. Would that just encourage him? Did he want to encourage him?
Fuck.
He needed to take a step back and fucking breathe.
There was a small part of him that wanted to please Ronan, so Jamie grabbed his phone, quickly shot off the text, and then turned it off.
After his shower, he crashed, not able to stay awake after the night he’d had.
The next morning, Jamie sat as Andy puttered around the apartment, sunshine and a warm breeze coming in through the window. It was a beautiful Saturday morning, one that he’d normally be out walking or running in. But all he did was stare at his damn phone and think.
Deciding he couldn’t handle it, couldn’t do again what he’d done the night before, couldn’t have—what, an affair?—with his boss, he texted Ronan.
I’m sorry, I can’t do this. I’ll see you Monday.
He thought he’d feel relieved or something, but dread sat like dead weight in his stomach. He was just too fucking confused. It was like he didn’t know himself anymore. This was just a phase or a fluke. He’d get over it and go back to his normal life. He could handle working with Dr. Kincaid every day and not think about his mouth wrapped around his cock or his tongue fucking his ass.
Yup. He could do it.
He was so fucked.
RONAN
I’m sorry, I can’t do this. I’ll see you Monday
Ronan stared at his cell phone in disbelief. Well, okay, maybe he wasn’t that surprised. He’d seen the panic Jamie had tried to hide when some of the best sex of Ronan’s life had come to an end. And that was saying something as he’d had an inordinate amount of sex in his life. Christ, he’d practically lost control when he’d fucked Jamie into the wall, and he had the scores on his back from Jamie’s nails to prove how much he’d liked it.
The desperate whimpers and the repeated urging of “yes, yes, yes, yes,” and “harder, Doc, please,” were like music to his ears. They’d spurred him on, sending zings of pleasure straight to his dick. Their frantic coupling spoke of the desperation they’d both been feeling for weeks. He knew afterward it wasn’t going to be enough. It wasn’t like scratching an itch, like so many of his encounters had been in his life. He was drawn to Jamie and, admittedly, had been since the moment they’d met, regardless of their best efforts to ignore it.
What he wanted to do was get his jacket and drive to Jamie’s place and demand to know exactly why he’d cancelled. He wanted to reassure him and coax him into accepting the dinner invitation he’d made. He wanted to kiss Jamie and soothe his worries. He wanted to lay with him on his bed and talk to him for hours. He wanted to learn everything there was to learn about him and share himself with Jamie as well.
He was an extremely private person. There weren’t many people he let in, but something about Jamie made him want to open up. Just the fact that he felt that way helped him understand his own needs were much stronger than a one-night stand or even a quick fling could assuage. Something in Jamie called to him on a deeper level than he could remember feeling from anyone in too many years to count.
The only thing that kept Ronan firmly planted in his home was knowing that Jamie didn’t go back on his word. Ronan knew Jamie was kicking himself about canceling, but his panic had won out. He figured the biggest obstacle Jamie was thinking about was his job. If there was one thing Jamie had in common with him, it was his strict dedication for being the best doctor or nurse they could be for their patients every single day. Ronan would never disrespect Jamie’s commitment to that by letting their personal relationship hinder, in any way, their working relationship.
He’d give Jamie this weekend to sort things out in his head, but if his decision was to just ignore the elephant in the room that was their growing attraction to one another, they’d be having a come-to-Jesus discussion. He wasn’t about to let him slip through his fingers without a fight. He didn’t know what would come of them, but he knew they had to try and see if what they had was something worth building a relationship on. He alre
ady thought it was. He just had to convince Jamie.
Monday had Ronan up early, out the door, and to the office by seven. He always had quite a bit of paperwork to do on Mondays before his first patients, but in addition to that, he knew Jamie showed up early most Mondays as well. He needed to receive the grocery order he’d set up for every Monday. Something Ronan appreciated so much and had assured Jamie the office would assume the added cost of the delivery. Jamie also wanted to ensure everything was ready for their patients and place any medical supply orders that were needed.
When seven thirty rolled around, he heard the back door close and Jamie talking to the grocery delivery guy. The fact he had waited to enter the building until the delivery was made was quite telling. Ronan gave Jamie a few minutes to get himself and the delivery man sorted before he approached him. When he finally rounded the corner into the breakroom, Jamie’s back was to him, and he was reaching into one of the grocery bags.
As Jamie turned around, six cans of soup in his hands, he gasped and startled upon seeing Ronan there, fumbling several of the cans. Frantically trying to catch them before they fell, Jamie managed to drop every one of them…one squarely on his own foot. “Ow, fuck!”
They both squatted to pick up the cans, their hands meeting as they tried to grab the same one. Instead of grabbing the can though, Ronan detoured and clasped Jamie’s hand. Tugging on it enough to take the boy from a squatting position to his knees. Ronan had him looking up, straight into his eyes, Jamie’s own eyes wide with anxiety. Still hanging on to his hand, Ronan slowly lifted his other one to grip Jamie’s chin between his thumb and index finger.
He held him there, gazes locked, for several long-drawn-out moments before asking, “How’s your foot?”
Confusion clouded Jamie’s eyes. “My… What?”
Ronan let a smile slide over his face and used his thumb to caress Jamie’s lower lip, eliciting a gasp from Jamie and causing him to close his eyes. “You dropped a can on your foot. Is it okay?”
Keeping his eyes closed, Jamie nodded. Ronan took advantage of the moment and leaned in to kiss those plump lips. The ragged moan that came from his throat had Ronan’s dick growing hard. He deepened the kiss, pulling the boy forward until he sat up enough to get closer. Ronan let his knees come down to the floor as well, and suddenly, they were flush, chest to chest.
Ronan kept Jamie’s chin in his hand and tilted his head to the side, trailing kisses down to Jamie’s neck where he laved the soft skin. He nipped his way to Jamie’s ear where he bit the lobe.
Jamie let out an answering whimper before he whispered, “Dr. Kincaid, please.”
“Please what, boy?”
The only answer was Jamie clasping the lapel of Ronan’s lab coat in one hand and gripping the hair at the back of Ronan’s neck in the other. When Ronan bit down and sucked on the juncture between Jamie’s neck and shoulder, Jamie cried out and gripped him tighter. Knowing he couldn’t let them lose themselves in the moment when they needed to talk and get to work, Ronan slowly kissed his way back up to Jamie’s mouth and gave him a series of soft pecks on his lips.
When he gently pulled away, Jamie collapsed back onto his calves, chest heaving, and a clear bulge in his olive-green scrubs. Jamie opened his eyes, and again, the anxiety was back. Ronan couldn’t stop himself from rubbing his thumb over the wrinkles of Jamie’s furrowed brow to smooth the worry away. He leaned in to kiss his forehead and heard a soft, needy sigh that melted his heart. Jamie was so conflicted, but Ronan could see, hear, and feel how much he wanted more.
“Jamie, you’ve got nothing to worry about when it comes to your job. Let me just be very clear about that right now. Our work relationship and our personal relationship are one-hundred percent separate entities and will remain so.”
Jamie shook his head. “But—”
“No buts. You aren’t at risk of losing your job if things don’t work out. Listen, I thought Gina was irreplaceable, and from a personal standpoint, she is. But from a nursing standpoint, you are her equal in every way. I couldn’t be more pleased with your work. The last thing I’d want to do is lose you in that capacity.”
Jamie looked forlornly down at his lap. “I don’t know, I…” He shook his head and sighed, starting again. “I don’t understand what I’m feeling…what’s going on with me. It’s confusing.”
“I know, sweetheart. That’s why we need to talk things out. This,” he gestured back and forth between them, “isn’t going to change or go away. The more we ignore it the harder it becomes.”
Jamie wouldn’t meet his eyes, but when he nodded, at least he looked up somewhere in the vicinity of Ronan’s chin. “I know. You’re right. I’m just scared. It’s all so new and different than anything I’ve done.”
“I know it is. We’ll sort it out. Right now, we need to get to work, all right? But this evening, you’re coming to my house. I’m going to cook dinner for you, and we’re going to talk.”
The furrowed brow was back. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. Wouldn’t a public place be better? If we’re trying to talk, I don’t think it’s a good idea to be someplace where it’s so easy to get…distracted.”
“Look at me, Jamie.” When he did, Ronan continued, “You have my word that we will do nothing more than a little making out tonight, and that’s only if you want to.”
The indelicate snort that came out of Jamie surprised a laugh out of Ronan, but he sobered before he said, “I like control, in all things. When I tell you there won’t be more than that, it’s a promise.”
Ronan hadn’t missed the shiver that ran through the boy’s body when he mentioned control. He began gathering the dented soup cans, and Jamie joined in, both of them putting the cans in the pantry. Ronan pulled Jamie flush against him once again, rubbing up and down on his back until the tension left Jamie’s body.
“After work, I want you to head home and change into something comfortable. I’ll finish closing up the office and then come pick you up around six-ish.”
Jamie’s forehead lay on Ronan’s chest, his voice a bit muffled. “I can just drive to your house.”
Ronan tilted Jamie’s head up so their eyes met. “I’ll pick you up around six and bring you to my place. We’ll have dinner and talk, and then I’ll bring you home. Understood?”
He shivered and nodded.
Ronan exhaled at that then tilted Jamie’s head up to meet his gaze. “No more avoidance. No more cancellations.”
He nodded. “I promise, Ronan.”
“That’s my good boy. Let’s get to work.”
The day had been long. Everything seemed to be moving like molasses when all either of them wanted was for time to pass quickly. He’d finally sent Jamie home and was working at closing down for the night, wanting to rush but knowing he needed to take his time on some patient files. When he was finally wrapping up for the day, he found his heart beating a little harder, his body getting a little warmer, and his breathing coming a little faster.
Ronan’s visceral reaction to the thought of just seeing Jamie again was telling. He couldn’t ever remember a similar feeling for any of his past relationships. He didn’t know how it was going to go with him that evening. He’d admired everything he learned about Jamie throughout the last couple months of working with him.
He’d realized, pretty early on, that Jamie was intrinsically good. It was a deep-down sort of goodness you didn’t very often find in people his age. He cared deeply about his work and his patients. He cared about Ronan and Natalie, and if Ronan wasn’t mistaken, Jamie still chatted at least once a week with Gina. He cultivated friends easily, and people gravitated toward his openness and kindness.
Their patients felt immediately at ease with Jamie, and he’d settled into his position as if it was made just for him. Ronan had watched, and while he’d kept his eyes on Jamie’s progress at the practice, he’d noticed so many little things. Getting to know Jamie slowly and incrementally was a strange, new pleasure for him, and he’d gr
own quite fond and very protective of one of the best nurses he’d ever worked with.
He wanted to give them a chance. He knew Jamie was someone he didn’t want to let slip through his fingers. He needed to grab him and hold on tight, or he’d miss his chance, and someone else would figure out how wonderful, beautiful, and intelligent Jamie was. Ronan had forced himself to keep his distance, believing he was doing what was best for their working relationship. He’d never have dreamed of propositioning him. At least, not until Morgan had told him he’d seen Jamie hiding.
All bets were off after that. There was no way he could have stayed away after seeing what watching their scene did to Jamie. They had a lot to talk about.
As Ronan got out of his car and headed up to the eighth floor of the large apartment building, any lingering worries melted away. A warm feeling washed over him as he got off the elevator, and it reassured him he was doing the right thing. He knocked on Jamie’s door and grinned widely as it opened nearly immediately.
Jamie’s face was flushed, and he was breathing a little heavier than normal. “Hi.”
The word, spoken softly and with a bit of nervousness, went straight to Ronan’s dick. He growled, a low sound vibrating at the back of his throat, and drew Jamie into his arms, kissing him deeply. When Jamie made a soft hum of hunger, Ronan grabbed him by the ass and drew him even closer. Several long-drawn-out moments later, he pulled back. “Come on. Let’s get going.”
They made it to Ronan’s house in the woods in twenty minutes and were out of the car heading inside when Jamie said, “Ronan, this is beautiful.”
Ronan stopped to look around his little piece of paradise, remembering how he’d felt about it the first time he’d seen it. “Thanks. It is beautiful. I’m thankful every day that I made the decision to live on the outskirts of town, surrounded by the trees.”