by Luna, David
Jamie found Andy in the truck trying to pick up a box that was marked as books and clearly too heavy for his slight friend. “Hey, man what are you trying to do? Pretend you’re the hulk?” Jamie laughed.
“Ha. Ha. Ha. Funny. Ronan said start at the front and work my way in, this was next so…” Andy shrugged.
“Yeah, I don’t think he meant break your back in the process, dork,” Jamie replied. Pointing to the boxes in the next row, Jamie said, “Go get those boxes. They have bedding I’m going to use on the daybed in the office.”
Andy grabbed a box and walked off the ramp of the truck. Jamie chuckled at his friend. He wasn’t sure Andy was the best guy to ask for help with moving, but Jamie hadn’t seen much of him between work, his time with Ronan, and Andy’s own schedule, so he wanted him there.
Jamie was searching through the stuff left, figuring out what was going where, when he heard footsteps behind him. Turning around, he saw Brad walking up the ramp of the truck.
“Hey, Brad. Everything okay?” Jamie asked. When they’d arrived earlier with the truck full of Jamie’s things, Brad had walked off with his cell glued to his ear and a glower on his face.
“Yup, just work stuff. I’m thinking it’s time to make some changes to my crew,” Brad replied, shaking his head.
Jamie wrinkled his nose. “Ugh. Yeah, firing people sometimes is a necessity, but it always sucks.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
Jamie felt for Brad. As the type of guy who wasn’t just nice but was always lending a helping hand, he must have felt bad about having to fire someone.
Jamie began rummaging around the stuff, trying to remember all he’d stored, when Brad started to talk.
“You know, I couldn’t be happier that you walked into Ronan’s life. I think…” Brad paused, clearly thinking through what he was about to say. Jamie turned all his attention to him. “I think it was something he needed.”
Jamie’s heart warmed at the nice words, but the second half raised a few questions. “Thank you. But…uh…what do you mean by it was something he needed?”
“It’s just, he’s had some serious relationships. I’m sure he’s told you.” Jamie nodded. Ronan had talked very little about past relationships but enough that Jamie got the idea he’d had a few serious ones.
“But he shut himself off a while ago. He’d dated and had subs, of course, but…I don’t think you understand how significant it is that he trusts you and loves you enough to have you move in. Anyone can share a house, but to share your heart after—” Brad stopped, pressing his lips together, clearly not wanting or able to say what had been about to come out. “It’s hard to let someone in, for anyone.” Brad took a few steps toward Jamie, his gaze intent. “Just know how important you are to him. He doesn’t let people in like he’s let you in.”
Jamie swallowed. He’d been grateful for the affection and love Ronan had given him from the moment this whole thing began between them and beyond thankful that he was the one who received it. But Ronan’s best friend taking the time to make sure Jamie knew that made him feel it even more.
There were no words that would convey all that, so with tears in his eyes, he nodded. Brad smiled and ignored how emotional that had made Jamie, grabbed a box, and walked off the truck. It took Jamie a few minutes of poking at things in the truck to gather himself and get back to work.
When he walked toward the house, he hadn’t expected to find Brad standing just inside the front door, inside the kitchen facing the entryway for the dungeon. Jamie wondered what he was looking at.
Standing outside the front door, Jamie followed his gaze. He saw Andy holding the same box Jamie had sent him off with as he stood at the entryway to the dungeon, looking down the stairs. Andy knew what was down there because Jamie had sat with him one night after his first time in the dungeon, extolling every detail—minus the sex stuff—about each piece of furniture and equipment.
Jamie often saw that look on Andy’s face, but usually, it was only when he was looking at paintings and sculptures and the like, not looking down a set of stairs. He was in his own world.
Jamie felt like they were in some sort of standoff. He was glancing back and forth between them, Brad was staring at Andy, and Andy was still staring downstairs.
Jamie realized that Brad had never met Andy and probably didn’t even know who he was. He was about to step inside and introduce them when Ronan and Geoff had come around the corner from where the office was located.
Ronan’s eyes flicked between their two best friends as he walked toward Jamie, a question in them. Jamie just shook his head with a smile.
“Hey, boy,” Ronan said as he pressed a kiss to Jamie’s forehead.
“Hey, did you get the loveseat situated downstairs?”
“Yeah, and we even moved some boxes around in the office to make more room. It’s getting crowded in there.” Ronan winked.
“Don’t remind me. I‘ve been meaning to sort through it before now.” Jamie shrugged.
Turning his attention back to Andy and Brad, Jamie saw that Andy’s attention was finally off whatever had him intrigued downstairs. Now, his attention was fully on Brad.
“Hey, Andy. I don’t think you two have met,” Jamie said, but Andy’s eyes never budged off Brad. Jamie got it. Ronan’s best friend was gorgeous—like model gorgeous with dark brown hair, green eyes that had brilliant gold flecks, and muscles. Yummy muscles. Andy, apparently, agreed. It made Jamie smirk up at Ronan when they’d both noticed the same thing.
Ronan stepped over to Brad, placing his hand on the man’s opposite shoulder and squeezed. “Brad, this is Andy.” Ronan motioned toward Jamie’s friend. “He’s Jamie’s best friend. He’s an art teacher.”
“Hello, Andy. It’s nice to meet you,” Brad said with a smile.
Jamie laughed at the odd piece of information Ronan decided to impart and walked over to the group. Standing next to Andy as they both faced Brad and Ronan, Jamie added his part of the introduction. “Andy, this is Brad, Ronan’s best friend and all-around-good guy.”
Andy still stared, and Brad’s smile turned into an even bigger grin with each passing moment that Andy didn’t speak. Jamie nudged Andy, hoping to knock him out of whatever world he was in.
“You’re beautiful,” Andy blurted out.
Brad’s grin could not have gotten any bigger, but man, he was fucking glowing. Geoff snickered, and Ronan covered his mouth with his hand, trying to hide the smile he clearly couldn’t help.
Jamie nudged Andy again. Andy shook his head and looked at Jamie. “What?”
Turning his focus to the group surrounding him, Andy’s face paled then turned a nice shade of pink. “I said that out loud, didn’t I?”
He wasn’t looking at Jamie, but Jamie knew the question was directed at him. “Yup.”
“It’s okay, Andy. I think you’re beautiful too.”
“Oh…umm, thank you?”
Jamie shook his head and smiled.
“Why don’t you walk with me, and we can put these boxes away where they belong?” Brad asked Andy.
Andy nodded and quickly walked toward the back of the house with Brad.
Jamie smiled as he watched them go.
“That is going to be so much fun to watch unfold,” Ronan stated when they were out of earshot.
Jamie couldn’t agree more.
RONAN
Friday, after a busy but satisfying work week, Ronan and Jamie sat together in front of the fireplace watching a National Geographic Special on the Okavango Delta in Botswana. The sound was down low, and they were curled up together, Jamie’s heat warming Ronan as it always did. On Monday, he’d canceled two Friday scenes he’d had scheduled. His growing unease with having scenes with others while Jamie watched was beginning to weigh heavily on his mind.
Wondering if he was being paranoid, Ronan decided to broach the subject. Kissing Jamie’s head, he pulled back a bit as Jamie turned to look up at him. “So, I think I mentioned th
is a few weeks back, but tomorrow is the house party over at Geoff and Misha’s place. Would you like to go?”
The frown creasing Jamie’s brows wasn’t a good sign. Coupled with the boy’s reticence to meet his eyes when he shook his head, Ronan’s worries seemed like they were warranted. When Jamie looked up and finally met his gaze, his eyes apologizing before he even spoke, Ronan’s gut churned. “I’m sorry. I’m just not really feeling up to it this weekend. Can we sit this one out? I just want to have a weekend with you. We’ve had so much going on with the move and getting settled in and unpacking my stuff and all. I want to have a relaxing weekend, just the two of us.”
Ronan nodded and ran his hand through Jamie’s hair. “Yeah. That’s fine. I’d love to spend the weekend with you.”
And it was true. He absolutely loved spending one-on-one time with Jamie. That wasn’t where his unease was coming from. He was beginning to fear he’d been forcing his own agenda on Jamie, pushing voyeurism on him to suit his own needs. Jamie rejecting the idea of the party only worried him more. He’d been dialing his scenes back, having fewer of them and less often.
He’d loved his life before Jamie. He’d felt wanted. His own physical needs had been met, and he’d helped others fulfill their fantasies. He hadn’t felt an urge to date in the last several years and was happy with the scenes he’d participated in. Add in his satisfaction with his job and being able to build his dream home, his life was going exactly how he’d planned it.
Sure, Ronan had eventually wanted to settle down, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t happy with his life as it had been. When Jamie came along, he’d just made it even better. He was the icing on Ronan’s cake, and Ronan couldn’t be happier to have fallen for a man as good as Jamie. Everything about their wants, needs, and desires seemed to have fallen so effortlessly into place that it seemed almost too perfect.
He had to search his own mind for any subconscious manipulation of their relationship to be sure he wasn’t forcing his own objectives and ignoring Jamie’s needs. He’d asked himself a million questions. Not the least of which was, did Jamie really want this life? Was he forcing his own agenda, and if so, what did Jamie really want? Had Jamie lost who he really was amidst all the new things Ronan was introducing him to? Did Jamie really love him, or did he love the idea and excitement of the new things Ronan brought into his life?
All of those questions had been rolling around in Ronan’s head for weeks, and god knows, he should have been talking to Jamie about his feelings and his doubts. But the truth of it was, the answer he feared would be forthcoming scared him half to death. The love he had for Jamie was so much more than he’d ever thought it could be for anyone, and if Jamie didn’t feel the same way, Ronan couldn’t fathom how he’d move forward without him. Added to that was his conversation with Andy during move-in day that still weighed heavily on his mind, making it all so much worse.
His muscles were sore, but even that couldn’t dampen the happiness and, if he were being honest, relief he felt at finally getting the remainder of Jamie’s stuff moved into their home. He walked from room to room of their home, getting everyone’s dinner order. Having help from Brad, Andy, Geoff, and Misha had made things go so much faster.
Ronan had tried to send them home after everything was unloaded into the house, but they’d insisted on staying and helping to unpack Jamie’s stuff, which was an enormous help. Ronan and Jamie’s work schedule was always pretty packed, and they’d taken to working late several nights a week when they had too many patients scheduled. So, he knew without their friend’s help, the unpacking and furniture arranging would be delayed.
He’d gotten everyone’s food order but Andy and Brad’s, and though he knew his house was rather large, it seemed to swallow Andy up. He always seemed to be lost in his own head, and Ronan thought more than once he was going to have to help direct Andy to a specific task.
When Ronan and Jamie had introduced their best friends to each other, Ronan had been amused by the immediate attraction he’d seen between both of them. Brad had stared and smiled at him, and poor Andy hadn’t known what to do with it. But Ronan was sure Andy blurting out how he’d found Brad beautiful wasn’t on the list. Brad had stepped in to save Andy and ushered him aside to guide him in what was next for them to do.
Ronan had caught Brad watching exchanges between Jamie and Andy and a soft look slid over his face time and time again as he watched Andy gather his wits about him and try to focus on what Jamie asked of him. Ronan watched them interacting throughout the day, and he could honestly say he hadn’t seen that look on Brad’s face in years. Sure, he’d had temporary boyfriends through the years, boys he dominated and had six-month contracts with, but none had made that soft, Daddy Dom part of him come out.
Ronan knew Brad’s preference was to be more of a caretaker Dom. He’d once joked with Brad about wanting to be a Daddy, and when his best friend hadn’t responded, Ronan had realized he’d hit the nail on the head. Since then, he’d been hoping to see that part of his friend come out in his relationships, but it never had.
Until he’d met Andy.
Ronan had a feeling when he found the two of them, they’d be together. He walked into the second guest bedroom on the main floor. It was the room he’d handed over to Jamie to do with as he pleased. He wanted to make sure the boy had a space that was his…and only his…in their home. Jamie decided to leave the bed in there for guests, but he’d use the rest of the space as an office/game room where he could keep his computer, his TV, gaming stations, and a bookshelf for all of his games and books.
That’s where he found Andy and Brad. Andy, surrounded by sheets of crumpled up newspaper on all sides, was presumably unpacking boxes, and Brad was filling Jamie’s bookshelf with his belongings. Ronan walked in on Andy, who was waving around some kind of heavy, glass, decorative item as he talked about art and a local gallery, a faraway look in his eyes. Ronan stood by the doorway and watched as Brad stood, waded through the newspaper, and approached Andy with a smile on his face.
When Brad reached Andy, he clasped the glass object in Andy’s hand, gently pulling it free from Andy’s grip as he raised his other to palm the side of Andy’s neck, gently rubbing the area just below his ear with his thumb. Miraculously, Andy stopped talking and focused immediately on Brad. “I’ll take this and put it over on the shelf. How about that? I love hearing all about your artwork, Andy. Why don’t you tell me about what mediums you use while you finish unpacking? Can you do that for me?”
All Andy could seem to do, his gaze still locked on Brad, was nod and stand there until Brad slid his hand away. He continued to look directly at Brad until Brad smiled wide at him and chucked him under the chin. “Is that box done?” Andy’s eyes finally cleared, and he gazed down at the box, nodding again. “Good. Set it aside and put all of the newspaper wrapping in the box. You’re surrounded by it. I’m going to have to swim through it to get to you if you keep unwrapping boxes as well as you’ve been doing. All right?”
Andy nodded, murmuring, “Yes, Sir.”
Brad grinned and stepped closer to Andy again. “None of that right now. At this point, I’m just Brad to you, okay? Now, let’s keep going so we can finish this room for your best friend, huh?”
Andy smiled at him and agreed. Ronan’s heart warmed at the scene before him. He hadn’t seen that caretaker come out in Brad in quite some time and never so gently. Ronan hated to break the spell that was so obviously weaving between them, but dinner needed to be ordered. He knocked on the doorjamb and both sets of eyes shifted his way. Andy blushed, and Brad grinned. “Hey, guys. Thanks for working so hard to help Jamie get unpacked. We’re going to pick up dinner at Mo’s. We’re getting a bunch of sides from there, so we’ll have enough of those, but just let me know what type of Bánh Mì you want.”
Andy perked right up, just like Jamie said he would at the promise of Vietnamese sandwiches, and answered, “I’ll have the BBQ pork, please.”
Ronan chuckled and
glanced at Brad and asked, “The grilled beef for you?”
Brad nodded. “Yeah, that’s perfect. Thanks. I’m going to get us a couple waters, Andy. Be right back.”
Ronan was about to leave when Andy cleared his throat and turned to face him. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure, Andy.” He gestured at the door in silent question and Andy nodded. Ronan closed it for privacy and waited.
“Look, I know I’m probably not the best friend I should be for Jamie. He’s got his whole life planned and organized, and I’m an art teacher who can barely manage to get to school on time to teach the kids. I’m spacey at the best of times, and when I’m at my worst, I can barely get anything done. But, Jamie is the best friend a person could have, and I love him like he’s my brother.”
“He loves you just as much, and I think you sell yourself short. He’s always telling me stories about the two of you and how much you mean to him.”
Andy nodded and tucked his hands in his pockets. “I guess I just don’t understand your relationship.”
Ronan’s heart plummeted. He hadn’t expected that. “What don’t you understand?”
“Jamie’s the best person I’ve ever met. He’s kind, genuine, and patient. With someone like me that’s saying something. I don’t understand how you can cheat on him. He’s worth so much more than that. He doesn’t deserve having to watch you get off with someone else. He deserves someone who will be monogamous.”
Ronan couldn’t keep his own doubts from surfacing, but he wouldn’t let Andy see it. “Jamie and I don’t have a typical relationship, but it’s what we both want. It’s not about worthiness or him not being enough for me. It’s about both of our desires being met in a mutually satisfying way.”
“But can’t you get that from each other and not bring others into it?”
“Not when it’s what we both want, Andy. Look, I’m glad you felt like you could voice your concerns to me, and I’m glad Jamie has you as a friend. But if you want a better understanding of our relationship, I think it’s best if you talk directly to Jamie so he can tell you how he feels about it.”
