Okay, so maybe he was right. They needed a break.
Her next breath in was full of musky man scent. She should hate it, be disgusted by the smoky sweat smell of him, but instead, she wanted to lick him everywhere. The idea drove her wild, made her squirm and reach for his erection. “Can I touch you?” At his nod, she went on. “Let me make you come.”
“I don’t need to…” He grunted when she ran her hand up his shaft to cup the thick crown. “Fine. Together. Let me do the same for you.” He nudged her. “On your side.”
Leo hadn’t left the armed forces to take orders from men, and yet those three words worked in ways she wasn’t prepared to examine. Her breasts went tight, her hips flexed of their own accord, and before she knew it, she’d slid off him and done as he instructed.
“Here.” He curled up behind her, did something down low, and urged her to lift her top leg. For a breathless second, she wondered what she’d just agreed to.
“I didn’t think we were…”
“I’m not gonna fuck you, Leo,” he said, spooning her close from behind. “I mean, I will, when the time’s right. If you want that. But not without a condom.” He paused, and even his breathing went silent for a second. “Are you on the pill?”
She shook her head, so pissed at her past self for going off it, even though the hormones made her miserable.
“Better like this.” All business, he tapped her thigh and she closed it, ensnaring his erection, hot and hard and right against her wet lips, snug between them.
He wrapped his arm around her and put one rough hand to her belly—not a place she usually liked being touched. From there, though, he could guide her or hold her still while he moved. And she liked that very, very much. “And I want to fuck you when I’m not bone tired. When we do it”—he slid forward, the tip of him hitting one pleasure point after another, turning her mindless—“we’ll do it right.”
She had no doubt of that. Given how just this friction felt, sex with him would be mind-blowing.
He came and went between her legs, in slow, long slides, each move calibrated to give her pleasure—and to take his own—in a way she found refreshing. He was unabashed, forthright, and sexy as hell.
“That’s good, Leo. So good.” He pulled her hip back until she was flush to him, reached up to use her belly as leverage, and quickly plucked at one nipple—the whole thing an easy, expert dance.
And all the while, she couldn’t possibly breathe a word, didn’t want to stanch the masterful ebb and flow of his body, playing hers like a maestro—like a man who loved women.
A jolt of something ugly reared up, and she shut it right down. No point in being jealous of whoever came before. She wasn’t the jealous type.
Or she hadn’t been—until right this moment.
“I’m close. You?”
She could be.
“Can you…touch me there?” Her voice was a meek echo of its usual self. Where was regular Leo? The one who told dudes what to do, was happy to let them get her off, and even happier if she never had to see them again. Men were complicated, annoying, filthy, and…
He didn’t have to do much to play her like his own personal instrument. He cupped her between the legs and let a finger dip down, quick to give her the pleasure she sought. Panting, control gone, she shifted back and forth, seeking nothing but fulfillment.
“Yeah,” he whispered hotly in her ear and she wished she could see him, see the yeti out of breath and almost out of words. “That’s it.” He thrust again between her slick inner thighs and this time took a break from touching her to grab the head of his own erection, the move so unconsciously hot, so base, so in his body that she couldn’t have kept herself from coming if she’d tried.
She sucked in air—what felt like every drop of it present in this tight space—and held it high in her lungs while the rest of her exploded. He worked her hard with his cock, giving her enough friction to draw it out…and out… And still she couldn’t breathe.
His hand was frantic now, his breathing in her ear a shaky, messy chorus of sounds that she’d never imagined someone like this making. Finally, just as she reached the highest peak of her climax, he let go with his own.
Somehow her hand was there. Had she been touching him this whole time? When he came, she rubbed him, loving the quick, angry jerks of his body, and once he was spent—in a move she’d later have to deny—she slicked it up, over her belly to the nipple he still pinched between his fingers.
For a few long, languid, out-of-body seconds, they rubbed him into her skin together, the act so lurid, so intimate, so different from anything she’d ever done that something inside her blew. Tears pushed at her eyes. Every muscle tightened in her effort to hold back the emotion.
“Hey.” He let go of her hand, nudged her shoulder until she flopped to her back, and leaned over her. “Hey, Leo. Sweetie. Leo. Leo.”
Okay, so maybe the yeti didn’t have the magic words to fix this—whatever the hell she thought needed fixing—but the kiss he put on her lips went miles toward setting her insides straight. And his little noises did that too. Soft, sweet sounds, so different from the way he’d literally growled through his orgasm.
But, crap, she refused to cry. She wouldn’t. Swallowing back the burn, she forced a touch of humor into her voice. “I may have lost my mind.” Or at least a few brain cells.
He sighed, the sound shaky, and put his forehead against hers. “Not the only one.” His body scooted to one side, where he leaned on an elbow, giving her space—but not too much. She liked that—being boxed in with him, with the option to escape. “You okay?”
She opened her mouth, an easy yeah on the tip of her tongue, and then closed it. Was she? This wasn’t her, getting emotional for no reason. This feeling things. Overwhelmed by sensations she’d never experienced before. “I don’t know.”
He seemed to be holding himself very still. “You regret it?”
Her muscles jolted like she’d been shocked. “No! Oh, God no.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him close so she could whisper. “It was good. This is good.”
“Yeah?” He drew back and though she couldn’t see his smile, she could hear it. “On a scale of one to—”
“Stop it.” She bopped his shoulder and let out a shaky breath. “Hey. Where’s Bo?”
“Must’ve taken off for calmer climes.”
“It’s storming outside.” A light laugh tumbled up and out.
“Yeah, well. Got pretty rowdy in here.”
“It was…”
“Unbelievable.” He shifted. “What about for you?”
“Honestly? That was the best orgasm I’ve ever had. Colossal. Like…I don’t know… The one orgasm to rule them all.”
He barked a laugh. “And in the darkness bind them?”
She snickered. “Bind us.”
Their laughter petered off. Uh-oh. Why did that seem so real? A bond more inexorable than rings on fingers.
For a few careful seconds, she held her breath. She couldn’t see his eyes, but she could feel the humor in them, could sense the affection there. Could picture the lines splaying out at the sun-creased corners. And hell, there it was again—that outpouring of emotion that she had no freaking idea what to do with. It wasn’t easy, but she held it back and concentrated on him instead, letting her hand explore his mysterious face, learning it in the dark.
While she was running her fingers over his lips he yawned, ended on a chuckle, and pulled her in to give her the sleepy, slow, content kind of kiss she remembered her parents having. When she pulled back, he nudged her over, half on top of his splayed-out limbs, the position a perfect yin and yang.
Every muscle in her body hurt, her skin chafed, and her belly rumbled with hunger, but it was nothing compared to this thing blooming inside her. What was it? Was it happiness? Possibly. Probably. But good God did
it scare her. More than crashes and enemy fire and running for her life across a frozen lake. Shit, it turned out, had just gotten real, in a no-going-back kind of way. And she had no idea how to handle it.
Chapter 32
Elias couldn’t recall waking up this sore before…or this satisfied. He stretched, popping joints and easing muscles, tightened his arm around the woman who lay against him, and shifted lazily, enjoying the feel of female flesh against his morning erection.
And then remembered just where he was.
At the top of a mountain, in what could barely be called a cave.
He eased an arm out from under their piled-up covers and brought it quickly back into the heat.
Cold as hell out there. And he didn’t hear rain anymore—or the constant thrum of the waterfall. Bad news. He’d be surprised if the rain hadn’t turned into something worse in the night.
And here they were, outside and buck naked.
He pulled in a deep breath and let out a sigh, unable to stop the smile from splitting his face.
Best wake-up. Ever.
His eyes cracked open, just enough to watch her.
On a wave of heat, everything they’d done came rushing back. Not just the kissing and touching, but the bone-deep emotions. The stuff that he couldn’t begin to explain—the stuff that had plumbed his soul.
Though he didn’t think the sun was all the way up, there was enough light that they needed to get moving again. How good would it be to stay here, instead? Perched in the clouds, where no one could see them? They could—
With a light humming sound, she stirred, her body going through the early phases of wakefulness the way his had.
In a moment of certainty, he opted to play it casual. No morning-after weirdness, no pressure to make this something—even though he knew that what had happened between them was cataclysmic. Leo, he surmised, wouldn’t appreciate pushiness at this point. She didn’t like having her mind made up for her.
He rolled out from their nest, giving her space to wake up and time to adjust to this new reality.
The cold slammed him like a fist, and for a few seconds, he wanted nothing more than to crawl back in there with her. His penis, thick and languid a moment before, begged him to, but he ignored it.
The sky was lighter than he’d realized.
He threw on a shirt and long underwear, went around the bend to answer nature’s call, and returned quickly.
“It’s cold and it’s late, Leo. Better get going.”
“Yep. Yep. Sounds good,” she said, voice thick with sleep, as she emerged, wrapped in blankets. Though her sleepy eyes lingered on his body, it didn’t take long for them to skid past him to where what had been a waterfall last night was now a massive icicle. Beyond it, so big it took his breath away, was the wilderness they’d spent the last few days crossing. The entire vista glittered in the sunlight, crystallized like the breath in his lungs.
Growing up, his mom had put figurines on the mantel around the holidays every year—a Christmas village. He’d loved those things as a kid—the warm glow of the lights in each little window, the sparkle of the snow-crusted roofs and trees. Not once in the last decade had he felt cozy looking out at this place. Not once had his cabin seemed as warm as this overlook today, a snug haven in a land frozen solid.
“How on earth did we climb up here?” Leo’s question was light, but there was a definite thread of holy shit in there. Like she’d had no idea how far they’d come.
Careful not to meet her eye and show her what she’d done to his world, he responded with a nonchalant, “Good question.”
She crawled forward, almost to the edge. “Nothing but a goat path.”
“Sure is.”
While he pulled out dry clothes and threw her items that would, again, be way too big, she turned to take in the shallow shelter they’d spent the night in.
“And today…”
Halfway dressed, he sat beside her to pull on socks and, finally, his boots—which were miserably wet.
“Today, we do the summit. Hopefully before the helicopter arrives.” He pointed straight up. “Hope not to break our necks in the process.”
She shut her eyes. “I was afraid you’d say that.”
“Yeah, but once we get over the top, it’s all downhill.” He stood and then, because he couldn’t deny this thing—didn’t want to—he squatted beside her, wrapped a hand around the back of her neck, and leaned in for a quick, clean kiss.
It was nothing of the sort. The moment they touched, it turned dirty and deep, vocal and more complex than most of the relationships he’d had, including the one with the woman he’d almost married.
When he finally pulled away, he imagined his expression was something like hers—shell-shocked and exhausted and hungry for more.
“We’ve got to go,” he said, letting her hear the regret in his voice.
“You sure?” She grinned and bit her lip, drawing his eye to that lush, sexy mouth.
“Hell no, I’m not. But on the other side of this mountain, there’s something I want you to see.” Feeling boyish and excited, he leaned down and kissed her forehead. “You’re gonna like it.”
He handed her one last layer and went to feed his dog.
***
Downhill wasn’t all that easy—especially with the ice coating the rocks for most of the morning—but it was a cakewalk compared to last night’s climb.
And, Leo had to admit, it could’ve been a million times harder and she’d still be smiling like an idiot.
They paused rarely throughout the day, but each and every time, he gave her looks that sped her pulse up, sent warmth to her belly, and had the two of them grinning like kids.
As she took the lead after lunch, she had to consciously relax her mouth, purposely turn those lips down. And maybe, just maybe, she put a little extra sway in her step.
When he let out a low, quiet wolf whistle, she knew she’d been caught out. “What?” She squinted at him over her shoulder. “You think you’re the only one with swagger?”
He shook his head with a grin. “No. No way, Leo Eddowes. You’ve got swagger for days.”
She gave in and let the smile reemerge, a little flirty, a little prim. “Why, thank you, sir.”
She’d walked another few steps when he caught up and passed her. “That what it’s about?” He turned and walked backwards. “Swagger?” His expression changed, became challenging, as if he knew that under all her bravado she was a vulnerable ball of nerves and emotion—an open, beating heart, ripe for destruction.
She didn’t like the shift. What was it with this guy getting serious all the time? What was it with her falling into his traps?
Right. A trap, Eddowes?
“Might be.” She meant to turn it into a joke, to say something, but she couldn’t. Not with him.
Who’s the one making things serious here, huh?
“Sometimes, when you’re neck deep in the mud, eighty guys all trying to get the same thing you want…where you’re a woman, weighed down by literal boobs and centuries of misogyny…and oh, hey…you’re Black, to boot?” She threw a hand up into the air. “Well, sometimes, you pull yourself out of the shit with nothing but swagger.”
“Swagger didn’t get you here.” He sounded so certain, as if he knew her inside and out.
That certainty put her back up. “Think you know me?” She kept her voice light. “What do you reckon got me where I am?”
“Intelligence. Mostly. Good instincts too. I…reckon”—he underscored the word more than she had, leaned a little too close when he did it—“there’s a decent dose of talent in the mix. I’ve seen your reflexes. I’d bet they’ve been honed, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you were born with some…connection with the sky. An ingrown understanding of gravity or mechanics or things that go vroom.”
A shi
ver went through her, starting high and shimmering through her quads and kneecaps on its way down, into the earth. She was like a lightning rod, only instead of electricity from the sky, she drew it from him. Or him from her. Something like that. And it freaked her the hell out.
“Am I right?”
Right on target. She opened her mouth to make some jackass comment and stopped when he put up his hand.
“I won’t tell you you’re special, ’cause we both already know that’s true—and I wouldn’t want to embarrass you. But what you’ve accomplished? Most people couldn’t do even a fraction of that. Beat out thousands to become an elite pilot. What were you? Firehawks? I’ll bet you were.” When she didn’t deny it, he went on. “And unlike me, you’re not a big, strong white man, so that makes you at least a hundred times more qualified than I could ever be. But that’s not even it. Not the…” He snapped his fingers lightly, his eyes looking everywhere for some elusive word. “There’s something deeper than all of that. Something solid, at your core. It’s the thing that I get. The place where we inters—”
She snorted to cut him off, to keep him from saying the big stuff. The dangerous stuff.
Not at all fazed, he cocked his head and watched her closely. “You believe in doing what’s good, what’s right.”
“Right? You mean like good versus evil?” A sigh drained slowly from her lungs. “You saying it’s all black and white, Elias? It’s not. I do what I can to help, but…” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Wait. This is pretty rich coming from the king of sacrifice himself.”
He stopped his slow, backward walking and stared at her, incredulous. “You think I gave up my life on purpose?”
She waited.
“You think I’d have done this if I had known the consequences? You think I’d do it again?” He looked older than before, his face lined, shoulders heavy.
“Yes.” More intense than she intended, she stepped close and tilted her head way back to look him in the eye. “Yeah. You’d do it all over again.”
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