Tears filled my eyes and I pushed my chair away from the table. “I’m sorry. I really am.” I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to get a hold on my emotions, but it was no use. “I have to go,” I said as I turned away.
Chapter Seventeen
Donaghy
Meg’s sniffles were the first thing I heard as I approached the back room, and when I stopped outside the cracked door, everything inside me was at war. She was upset, struggling, and I wanted to go to her. If Patty were the one crying in the back room of some rundown bar, I’d want someone to be there for her.
Then again, getting involved with Meg would be the dumbest thing I could ever do. I was only here for a few more days, and the chemistry between us was getting out of hand. The last thing she needed was for me to make her life more complicated.
I started to turn away, but had only taken one step when my gut clenched. Shit. Turning my back on Meg after saving her in that bathroom just didn’t feel right.
I took a deep breath and pushed the door open, knowing that doing this was probably going to end up being something I would later come to regret.
The back room was dark, making the outline of the zombie cages just barely visible in the black shadows, but the stench of death left little to the imagination. She wasn’t in the holding room, so I moved farther into the darkness, toward the room with the cots. When I pushed the second door open, her sniffles got louder.
“Meg.” My voice seemed unnaturally loud in the small space, but when she turned to face me, she didn’t seem surprised that I was here.
“I’m sorry.” She sniffed again. “I like to think I’m stronger than this, but the truth is, I don’t think I’m handling this all that well.”
“You’re strong,” I said, closing the space between us so I was standing in front of her. “This is a shit show you didn’t see coming.”
When she looked up, a wisp of a smile was just visible through the darkness. “You say that a lot.”
“What?”
“Shit show.”
“Oh.”
Her smile faded, and she wiped her hands across her eyes as she let out a big sigh. “This whole thing just keeps getting worse and worse, and I’m not really sure where to go from here.”
“You just have to keep looking for clues.”
She nodded, but a second later shook her head. “It isn’t even that. Not totally. Jackson had me fooled. All these years I trusted him. Finding out that it has all been a lie has me questioning everything in my life. I always knew his dad didn’t give a shit about anything other than getting his hands on more power, but I never realized just how deep this all runs.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, if they really did have my uncle as a prisoner, I can’t help feeling like there’s more to what the CDC is doing than just finding a vaccine. I mean, if they were willing to do something as drastic as keep a man against his will for years, lying to his family and the whole world that entire time, there has to be something they’re not telling us.” She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and chewed on it, her eyes turned to the floor as she thought it all through.
Even though I didn’t know for sure what this government was up to, I had to admit she had a point. And it answered the big question I’d had about this whole thing: If they were just trying to find a way to stop the zombie virus from spreading, why wouldn’t they be upfront about it?
“Maybe they’re the ones in charge of the mutations.”
Meg lifted her head, her eyes narrowed on me. “What?”
“Think about it. Every few years this thing seems to change, and we’ve all been told that the virus is mutating on its own. But how do we know that’s true? What if the CDC is responsible for all of it?”
She shook her head, but even in the darkness, I could tell that she thought I might be right. “Would they do that?”
“I have no idea what they’d do for sure, or why, but I know this: The conversation I overheard in the Regulator’s house made it sound like they had motives that went way beyond finding a cure.”
A shiver shook her body and she crossed her arms over her chest, hugging herself. “Shit.”
I nodded, unable to talk with my head spinning the way it was. The theory seemed crazy, but so did half the things I’d seen over the last year. All those prisoners in DC, crammed together like rats. Most of them were scum and the world would be better if they were just killed, but for some reason this government was holding onto them. They liked to talk big, saying executions were common, but it was a total lie. It rarely happened, and usually only with the men they didn’t seem to be able to contain. No. It was almost like they wanted to keep all those prisoners alive. Like they were saving them…
I shook my head to get rid of the thought. It was even more insane than any of the things Meg had suggested.
She was still hugging herself when she said, “This whole thing has me feeling so alone. I’m not used to that, you know? I’ve always had people to watch my back. Now though, it feels like the world is about to fall on my head.” She swallowed. “I always knew Jackson’s dad was no good, but I had to hope that the government wasn’t totally corrupt. If all this is true, though, it means they have been lying to my family for years. They’ve stolen everything from us. From me.”
The urge to drop my baggage at her feet slammed into me, but I didn’t know why. It sure as hell wasn’t going to make her feel better—not with how fucking depressing it all was. Maybe, though, it would help her feel just a little bit less alone. Knowing there were other people out there who had been screwed over by this government.
“You’re not alone in all this.” Meg nodded like she knew where I was going with it, but I shook my head. “I mean, being screwed over by the government.”
Meg’s gaze held mine while she waited for me to elaborate, but for a second I couldn’t. Not when the memories of the past year came screaming back. It had been a nightmare. Even worse, I didn’t have a fucking clue how Patty was holding up back in Dayton.
“I have a sister,” I said finally, still in the grasp of Meg’s gaze. “Patty. She’s seventeen. After Mom and I got settled in Dayton, things were normal for a while. We had an apartment. We got over the loss of Dad and tried to make a life. Mom worked, I went to school. The world started to feel normal. Even this dumbass government made it seem like things were looking up. Someone was in charge and we had hope that the country might recover.
“We’d been settled in for about a year when Mom got remarried. A man named Kurt who was quiet, but nice. I liked the guy, and when my baby sister was born it made the whole thing even better. Made it seem like things could be better.
“Patty was only six when the flu took Mom, along with a shit ton of other people. Kurt had always been there for us, but I guess that was too much for him. Losing his first wife to the virus, then Mom to the flu. Afterward, he started drinking. Just checked out. Seven years later, another flu swooped in and took him. It sucked, but Patty was thirteen by then and it wasn’t like my stepdad was contributing all that much, so we forged on. I was twenty-one and had a good job with the enforcers, and for the next few years things were okay.
“The end came for us a year ago. Patty was sixteen and had gotten to know the JO’s son. Not only was he nineteen and too old for her, but he was an entitled prick. I couldn’t stand the guy. No matter how many times I told her to stay away from him, though, she wouldn’t. He had this hold on her…” I swallowed. “A little over a year ago, he raped her. Patty wasn’t ready to sleep with him, so he took it anyway.
“When she told me, I wanted to kill the bastard, but instead I went to his dad. I honestly thought there was real justice in this world. I thought the guy in charge would be sure to make his son pay for what he’d done to my sister. But his dad told me it was Patty’s word against his son’s, and that no one would believe her. They’d been seen all over the settlement together, and everyone knew she was trying to sleep her way to a better life.
He told me to go home and forget about it.
“When I realized this kid was going to get away with what he’d done, I snapped. I didn’t think about my actions or how they would affect my sister, I just hunted him down and let out all my rage. I barely remember it, really. Everything was red, and hitting him felt amazing. He would have died if people hadn’t pulled me off him, and I wish he had. Now I’m a convict who has to treat every single day like it could be my last, Patty is all alone, and that asshole is free. I saw her when I was in Dayton. Just from afar, but she snuck into the bar the last night I was there. She looked… Younger. Thinner. Scared and broken. It made me hate myself even more.”
When I finished talking, I kept my eyes on the ground. My fists were clenched from the memory, and if that little shit had been in front of me, I would have finished the job I started back in Dayton.
Meg stepped closer and I didn’t flinch away when her hands touched my arms. She ran them up over my biceps, tracing my tattoos briefly before moving her hands to my shoulders. She kept going, though, until my face was between her palms and I was forced to tear my gaze away from the floor and look her in the eye. The heels she was wearing made her taller, but she was still short. Tiny. Her head barely reaching my shoulders.
God, I wanted to protect her. From Jackson and the zombies, from what was happening with her dad and mom. From the whole, fucking world. Only I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything because I’d fucked up my life so bad that I was a prisoner. I was scum. Nobody.
“You deserve better than what you got,” she whispered.
“We all do,” I said, squeezing my fists tighter when the urge to pull her against me hit.
Meg’s gaze moved to my lips, and I found myself leaning toward her. She lifted herself up on the tips of her toes, and my hands were on her hips before I even realized it, and then I was pulling her against me.
“When I saw you in that bathroom,” I said, my hands gripping her hips like I wouldn’t ever let her go, “it was like Patty all over again.”
“You saved me,” Meg said.
She rose up higher, her breasts flush against my chest, and she was so close that when she exhaled I could feel her warm breath on my lips. That was all it took for me to let go. To lean down and meet her halfway, pressing my lips against hers.
Meg’s body melted into mine as she returned the kiss. I moved my hand up, over the bare skin of her back. It was warm and soft under my palm, and inviting. Her lips opened, and I followed her lead, plunging my tongue into her waiting mouth. Meg’s hands were still on my face, pulling me closer like she couldn’t get enough of me, and I wanted so badly to drag her across the room and throw her onto one of the cots so I could rip her clothes off.
That would be an asshole thing to do.
The words were nothing more than a faint idea in my mind, but I couldn’t push them away. I was leaving in a few days. There was no future for me, especially not here.
When I pulled back, a gasp broke its way out of Meg. “What?”
“I’m an asshole.” She shook her head and I tried to step back, but extracting myself from her arms wasn’t as easy as it should have been. “I’m leaving, and doing this would be me taking advantage of the situation.”
“No it wouldn’t, because I know you’re leaving and I don’t care.” Meg held onto me when I tried to pull away again. “There’s nothing wrong with grabbing a little piece of happiness when you can.”
Shit. When she put it that way, it was hard to say no, and all I could think about was grabbing a piece of her and how good it would feel. How right.
But then I’d leave and it would probably tear me in half, and who the hell knew what it would do to her. She was already feeling abandoned, and adding my name to the list of people who had left her would be the shittiest thing I could ever do.
“I’m sorry.” It took all the strength I had inside me to pull away, but this time I managed it. “I’ve been the asshole enough in my life, but just this once, I need to be the good guy. Need to do the right thing.”
Saying it that way seemed to get through to her, because she nodded. “Okay.”
“You going to hate me now?” I cringed, realizing how much the idea of her hating me hurt.
“No.” She gave me a shaky smile, then hesitantly stepped closer. When she put her arms around me this time, there was a difference in the embrace. It still felt amazing to have her body against mine, but it was comforting, too. “You’re not an asshole, Donaghy. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
I hugged her back as memories of other hugs hit me. Mom and Patty, and all the years when the world had looked good and promising. It seemed like so long ago now.
Chapter Eighteen
Meg
The apartment was dark and silent when I got home, and I did my best not to make a sound when I shut the door. My head was still spinning from all the new information I’d gotten today—and from that kiss. The last thing I needed right now were Mom’s conspiracy theories clouding the facts. Especially because at this point, I might actually believe everything she spouted off.
But I’d only taken one step down the hall when the sound of Mom’s mattress groaning broke through the silence. “Megan?” Her voice was muffled from sleep, but something in her tone made me pause. “Is that you?”
“It’s me.”
I headed down the hall, dread growing in my stomach with each step I took. Dread because Mom sounded like Mom. There was no paranoia in her voice or panic or anguish. It was like time had been reversed and she was the woman I’d grown up with. Only I didn’t believe a switch could be flipped that quickly, and I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I didn’t want to believe that she had pulled herself out of this only so I could step into the room and be greeted by the same wide, terrified eyes as before.
The lights were off and I could just make out her silhouette in the darkness. She sat up when I stopped in the doorway, and a second later the lamp on the bedside table clicked on. Light flooded the room and Mom squinted, but even as she waited for her eyes to adjust, I could tell something was different.
“Where have you been?” She held her hand at the side of her face to block out the light from the lamp, and her eyes moved over me. Slow and alert. “What time is it?”
“It’s late.” I ventured further into the room, my heart pounding harder with each step I took.
Mom blinked and her gaze moved over me again, this time the corners of her mouth turned down. The hair on my arms stood up, and my scalp prickled the way it had when I was little and I knew she was about to catch me in a lie. I crossed my arms, trying to cover myself. Until now, I’d forgotten all about my skimpy dress.
“What are you wearing?” Mom asked as she put her feet on the floor.
Every move she made seemed to be slow. Muddled. Like she was waking up for the first time in weeks. That was how it felt to me, too. This was the most coherent she’d been since the early days of Dad’s disappearance. Back when we had finally accepted that he wasn’t going to come home ever again.
I tugged on my skirt, trying to make it longer, but gave up when all it did was expose more of my cleavage. “I got a job in the entertainment district. It was that or lose the apartment.”
She pressed her lips together and my back stiffened while I waited for her response. My whole life my parents had worked hard to protect me from the darkness in this world. I’d grown up surrounded by death, but there had always been safety and security in this house. I knew my parents would be here for me. Never doubted that they’d die just to protect me from the horrors of this world. Now, I was knee-deep in it. The entertainment district was the epitome of everything dirty in this world. It was where people went when there was no hope left.
After a few seconds, Mom let out a deep sigh and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I know I haven’t been very helpful. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I can’t seem to control…anything.” She put her hand to her head like it hurt. “Nothing seems r
eal anymore.”
“Are you okay?” I stepped farther into the room and reached out, half-expecting her to lash out at me. To scream about how none of us were okay as long as they are in charge. Whoever they were. I didn’t think even she knew who she was talking about.
“My head is pounding—” Mom’s fingers rubbed her temples. “—and my throat is so dry it feels like I’ve been walking through the desert for days.”
“Let me get you a drink.”
I swiped a glass off the bedside table and hurried to the bathroom. My hands were shaking when I held it under the faucet.
Mom was back.
I’d almost given up hope of ever seeing her again, but she was back. I didn’t know how or why, but I did know that with her here, I had a better chance of making it. Of finding out what had happened to Dad.
But…
Maybe telling her about the note wasn’t a good idea. At least not until she’d had a chance to pull herself out of this funk. If I told her everything that was going on, it might send her right back to her obsessive paranoia. I could lose her again.
“I need to wait,” I whispered to my own reflection.
In the dim light of the bathroom, my green eyes were huge. So big and round that they seemed to take up half of my face. They reminded me of Mom. Of how she’d looked in full-on paranoia mode. Odd considering we weren’t biologically related.
I went back into the bedroom to find Mom sitting in the same place. When I held the glass out she took it, but confusion clouded her vision. Only it was different than it had been before. She didn’t take a drink. She just stared at the glass like she was trying to remember something.
“Are you okay?” I lowered myself onto the bed at her side and the old mattress groaned under my weight.
Mom nodded as she gulped the water down, and in less than thirty seconds the glass was empty. She still didn’t look away from it, though.
Twisted World Series Box Set | Books 1-3 & Novella Page 18
