Just the thought of what Holly must think of him made him wince. Yes, she’d behaved as little better than a shrieking harpy, but he should not have behaved like a brute.
All the more reason for him to get out of there, soon. Before she had the chance to challenge him once again.
He doubted he would be able to refuse her once more.
Cate descended moments later, with Edward wrapped in a blanket. “Thank you,” he murmured, taking the child from her. He seemed sleepy, a bit fretful.
“He’s likely hungry,” she reasoned. “He ought to eat before you go.”
He had half a mind to ask her to leave him to his business, but that was only because she was right. The child needed to eat something. “Is there anything in the kitchen, do you think? Something fast.”
“I’m sure there is food left from last night,” she whispered, leading them down the hall. He wished he did not feel like a thief sneaking out this way, but at least Cate still saw the adventure in it and was willing to help. If only she would keep her opinions to herself.
As she’d mentioned, there were vegetables and meat left, along with bread and applesauce. He spooned a bit of the applesauce into a bowl, and Cate offered to help, so he allowed her to feed Edward while he listened for footfalls overhead.
“What about peas?” she suggested. “He liked those last night.”
“Yes, yes, certainly.” Why not arrange an entire four-course meal for him? How he longed to be away, far away, out of the grip of this house and this family. Even the sound of Cate cooing and giggling with the child set his teeth on edge.
It was entirely too warming. Entirely too welcoming.
“What a fine, healthy appetite you have!” she marveled. “You’ll grow up to be such a big boy. Aunt Cate wishes she could see that.”
“Aunt Cate?” He raised a brow.
“What? I’ve always loved children so. Holly was a marvelous teacher. I used to visit her at school sometimes and watch how she managed them. If I wasn’t committed to the stage, I would become a teacher. Or perhaps a nurse. Yes, and I could nurse sick children…”
He rolled his eyes, turning away. How she did go on.
“If you do ever take the stage, I hope someone else writes the play for you,” he muttered, going to the door and looking down the hall. “Because you are quite obvious in your machinations.”
“And just what do you mean by that?”
He cast a doleful look over his shoulder. She did remind him of Holly in many ways, down to the eyes and the shading of her hair. But Holly would be scowling at him now, whereas Cate was wide-eyed. Innocent.
Lying.
“You deliberately mentioned Holly being a teacher, as if to point out how she could teach Edward when the time comes. I see straight through you.”
“I don’t appreciate your tone,” she said with a sniff. “When I’ve gone out of my way to help you sneak out of here and everything.”
He sighed. “Yes, all right. I apologize. But I do not appreciate your attempts at making me stay, either.” The sun was already on the rise, visible through the window over the kitchen table, and he ached to be gone. “Isn’t he finished yet?”
“And why not give him reason to spit it all back up while riding on your back?” came her tart reply. “But yes. He is finished.” She then washed the boy’s face before covering it in kisses.
“All right, all right now. That will have to be enough.” He lifted the child from her arms. “Thank you for your hospitality. Please, extend my thanks to your entire family. Will you explain to them that I wanted to be on the move early? I’m sure they will understand.”
“Understand what?” He turned to find Molly walking into the kitchen, followed by Phoebe and Rachel. “That you’re sneaking out of here like a thief who just stole our best silver?”
“Are you implying—”
“A figure of speech.” She sighed. “Why would you leave this way?”
“Because… I simply have to.” He could not stand it. This was all a mistake. All these women, looking at him. Judging him, questioning him, demanding things of him.
They were wise to stay out of his way as he marched down the hall, where he’d left his possible bag, his rifle, and tomahawk. This was real, this was what he knew. Not the starched shirt he wore now, the trousers, any of the trappings of this home and this family. He knew nothing of their lives.
And he would never be one of them.
Which meant he would never be good enough for her.
“Goodbye, and thank you,” Phoebe whispered as he slung his bag over one shoulder. “You saved our sister.”
Yes, and they could keep her. “Thank you for your hospitality,” he murmured, glancing up the stairs, half-expecting Holly to come flying down at any moment.
“Shouldn’t you say goodbye to Holly?” Rachel asked. “I’ll get her.”
“No.”
The force of it made all four women reel back.
“No, thank you. We said our goodbyes. She understands.”
“Somehow I doubt it,” Molly frowned, but she did not stop him from stepping outside. He’d already prepared Merlyn, who was waiting in front of the porch.
Edward began to wail.
“It’s all right, don’t cry,” he murmured in an awkward attempt to comfort the child. “Don’t cry. We’re going home.”
He tried to avoid noticing the women crying behind him, lined up on the porch. They waved goodbye, leaning against each other, calling out to Edward, and to him, but mostly to the baby.
He mounted Merlyn and tapped his heels to the horse’s flanks.
They were off.
And it was for the best. It truly was.
He only had to convince himself it was for the best.
And he had the rest of his life to do so.
25
“Goodbye, Edward! Goodbye, dear! Be good!”
Goodbye, Edward.
Goodbye, Edward?
Holly’s eyes flew open, her heart racing madly. Goodbye? Were they leaving?
Sure enough, when she sat up, she found the little nest she’d prepared on the floor empty. He was gone!
And that fool hadn’t given her the chance to say goodbye!
She barely had time to think as she grabbed the wrapper lying at the foot of her bed, shoving her feet into slippers before running headfirst down the stairs.
“Wait! What’s happening?” she shouted, bursting outside.
The girls were there, wiping away tears as they waved goodbye to the departing horse. They were barely bigger than a dot. He was making haste.
“Roan!” she cried out, but it was no use.
If he heard, he did not stop.
“He insisted,” Cate whimpered. “I knew it was wrong. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to see you fighting—”
“He didn’t say goodbye,” she whispered, swaying back and forth. “And Edward. Oh, God, how could I let him go this way?”
“Lewis offered him the chance to stay,” Molly announced.
Holly whirled around, gaping at her. “He didn’t.”
“He did. Last night. After supper. He asked him to stay on to train the horses. Roan refused him.”
All four of them gasped in unison.
“Why?” Rachel demanded. “Why, when it was Lewis who offered?”
Molly’s face fell when she looked at Holly. “He said it would be too difficult, as he…”
“What?” Holly shouted, prepared to take her sister by the arms and shake it out of her. “What did he say?”
Nothing had ever been as important as this.
“He said he didn’t think he could live here, knowing he would only ever be the hired help. That we would care for Edward out of a sense of obligation. He has a great deal of pride.”
“Pride!” Holly shouted, fists raised to the sky. “Damn his pride!”
“Holly!” Cate whispered, aghast.
“It’s true! Damn his pride and damn him!” She turned towar
d where he’d just disappeared in the east, rage now taking the place of grief. “No. He will not get away from me without saying goodbye, and I will not spend the rest of my life knowing I let him do it!”
“Where are you going?” Phoebe shouted as Holly ran for the stables.
She was going to follow them, of course.
The gelding was there, chewing on some straw.
“Forgive me, but we have something to do,” she muttered as she saddled him with shaking hands. How dare he? Thinking he could run away on her! Thinking she would not follow him to the ends of the earth if only to have her say!
What a coward he was. A coward and a prideful wretch who barely deserved a minute of her time.
But she loved the wretch, loved him almost enough to hate him for pushing away something he clearly wanted.
“You can’t do this!” Rachel cried out when Holly emerged from the stables with the horse’s reins in hand.
“Yes, I can.” Even in her nightgown, wrapper and slippers, her hair loose and flying behind her as she dug her heels into the gelding’s flanks.
She hated running him when he’d not had the chance to warm up, but he would not have to run far.
How dare he? How dare he? She watched for them, willing them to come into view again. They hadn’t gotten far yet, had they? Not unless he wanted to bounce the baby right out of his carrier. The fool would do something like that, too, wouldn’t he? All in an effort to get away from her and save his silly pride.
There they were, trotting along. Edward was in the carrier, waving his little arms. To think! He was going to take Edward away before she had the chance to kiss him one more time! The brute!
“Roan!” she screamed into the wind, urging the horse to greater speed. “Roan! Stop!”
This time, he did, bringing the stallion around and watching open-mouthed as she caught up to him. She was truly and fully enraged by that moment, bringing the gelding to a trot before stopping.
Her chest heaved. She knew she must look a frightful mess. She did not care.
“How could you?” she asked, struggling to contain the tears which wanted to flow as she pushed her hair from her face.
“I had—I mean, we had—” He stared at her. “I had to be away from you. Don’t you see?”
She reeled back as if slapped. “Is that supposed to make me feel better? Knowing you had to get away from me? Roan MacIntosh, I swear, you are the most—”
“I had to be away from you while I could still muster up the courage to leave,” he muttered, miserable. “Why can’t you see that?”
“I see Lewis offered you the same position I offered, and you had the gall to turn him down! And why? Because you don’t want anyone to feel obligated?”
He rolled his eyes. “I should’ve known.”
“You mean even last night, in the study, you knew you had already turned him down? And you said nothing to me?”
“Perhaps I wished to avoid a scene such as this!”
“That’s a terrible shame, but I refuse to let you sneak away from me before I’ve had my say.” It was too late to hold back now, and she had no desire to any longer. Not when this was her very last chance. “Why do you think I asked you to stay? Why, really? Because we’re in need of a horse trainer? We could find one anywhere. Because I long to care for a child? Molly’s child will be born in a few months. Why, then? Because I feel sorry for you? No. Because I love you, you fool, and you’re too blind to see how desperate I was to keep you here by any means necessary!”
Her words died on the wind, but they’d reached him before the wind carried them away. She could tell by the widening of his eyes, by the way the muscles of his jaw worked.
“I do love you,” she whispered, chin quivering and eyes watering. “I do, and I’m sorry if it’s wrong and you don’t want me, but I love you very much, and I only wanted you to stay with me. That’s all. No pity, no obligation. Only because I love you. Though right now, I don’t know why, because you’ve just broken my heart.”
“Holly…” He dismounted, coming to her left side with his arms open. “Come here.”
She did, glad he hadn’t run screaming from her. Anything to touch him again. She let him pull her from the saddle, his hands so strong and capable against her trembling body.
He placed her on her feet and took her face in his hands. A smile began to form.
“I refused because I thought for certain I’d never be good enough for you. Don’t you know how it would kill me to watch some other man court you and marry you while I worked in the stables? When it is I who ought to court you, I who ought to make you my wife?”
Her eyelids fluttered. She was sure she would faint. “What did you say?” she managed to croak.
“That I love you, too, Holly Reed. And I was certain I’d never be good enough to kiss the hem of your garments. I couldn’t imagine the strain of watching you from afar, never able to tell you how I adore you.”
She beamed, still crying but happier than she had ever been. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he countered.
“Why do you always have to answer a question with a question?”
He threw back his head and laughed, which made Edward laugh with him.
Holly joined them.
“Oh, my love.” He chuckled, wrapping his arms around her. “I didn’t tell you for the same reason you didn’t tell me. I’m not the only one with more pride than is good for them, you know.”
He was so warm, so strong and good. She melted into his embrace, turning her face upward for a kiss sweeter than any she’d ever imagined. She sighed, taking his coat in her hands and pulling him closer, her soul singing.
“Promise me something,” she whispered, breathless, giddy.
“Anything,” he breathed, his lips against her forehead.
“Do not ever consider yourself unworthy of me again. You are more than worthy. I don’t care a thing for finery, society, any of it. Even if I did, I would still want you, because you are the best man I know. And I’ll never want anyone but you.”
“Even if it means living in a shack on a mountain?” he asked, his brows lifting.
She pursed her lips. “Yes. Even then,” she decided.
His laughter rang out again. “I don’t know. Now that I’ve been out here… there might be more to life, it seems.”
Epilogue
“And do you, Holly Elizabeth Reed, take Roan MacIntosh as your wedded husband…”
Holly smiled up at Roan, whose dark eyes shone as he smiled back. He looked so handsome, so very fine in his new suit. He cleaned up well, everyone had agreed.
Though she cared nothing for that. She’d liked him just fine in his buckskin.
He wouldn’t be wearing a suit while doing his daily work, that much was certain. He’d already become a fixture on the ranch, only a fortnight after their arrival.
She’d wanted as quick and simple a wedding as possible.
“Nothing fancy,” she’d insisted. “Like Phoebe and Rance. They are no less married than Rachel and Mason, are they? I only want to be married to him and start a family.”
No one could argue with that, though Molly had insisted they at least wait two weeks for a dress to be fitted. “Let this be my wedding gift to you,” she’d pleaded. “I would like to see you in a beautiful dress. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, but you deserve something lovely.”
And it was lovely, with its puffed sleeves and billowing bustle trimmed in jets of lace and silk ribbon. She was glad upon stepping into it and allowing her sisters to button the back that she’d agreed on this one thing. She truly felt like a bride.
Though she suspected Roan would have been pleased if she’d worn a calico work dress. He struck her very much as a man who knew how fortunate he was and did not yet know what he’d done to earn that good fortune.
If it took her the rest of her life, she would get through to him; he’d need to do nothing but be himself for her to
fall in love with him.
And with his nephew, who clapped his pudgy hands and shouted his happiness. Or what she wanted to believe was happiness. Cate held him, standing in line behind her with the rest of the girls.
Yes. He was happy. They were all happy, standing together in the parlor with the people they loved.
And to think, it had only taken a trio of would-be kidnappers to make this possible.
“…as long as you both shall live?” the preacher asked, smiling at her as she stood before him, her hands joined with Roan’s.
“I do,” she whispered, shy and joyful.
“And do you, Roan MacIntosh, take Holly Elizabeth Reed as your lawful wedded wife…”
He stared down at her, with more love and devotion in the dark-brown depths of his eyes than she’d imagined existed in the entire world. Until she met him, naturally.
He was a fine man, as everyone already knew. He would make his way in the world without feeling as though he had to be apart from it. She would see to it, because he deserved more than what life had afforded him thus far.
He might have saved her from freezing to death, but she had saved him, too. And she would keep doing so for the rest of her life.
“I do,” he murmured when the preacher finished. His hands tightened around hers, and she beamed with pride.
“Then by the power vested in me, I pronounce you man and wife.”
A cheer rose up around them as Roan leaned down.
“Ready?” she whispered a moment before their kiss.
“Are you?” he countered.
“Why do you always answer a question with a question?”
She laughed, and he kissed her in reply.
Her husband. His wife.
Always.
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An Inconvenient Bride!
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