by T. A. White
Only this time, she suspected she wasn't the entire reason for the defeat she saw around his edges.
"You look worse than I feel," Kira said. She grimaced at the sound of her voice. It sounded like a frog had set up shop in her throat.
Finn opened his mouth but was interrupted when Jin shot up from the spot he'd claimed at her feet. Kira hadn't noticed him until then.
"Kira! You're an idiot," Jin shouted, his voice overly loud in the small room.
"Did we win?" Kira asked, blinking groggily at him. Her thoughts didn't feel quite right, like she was rising from a centuries-long nap. They were slow to start and discombobulated as she got her bearings.
"Who cares about that?" he snapped. "You damn near died."
"I care. I went to quite a lot of trouble to ensure our win. I'd like to know it was worth it," she said.
"Idiot."
She made a face, but didn't disagree. Right now, she felt like an idiot; lu-ong mouths and human bodies didn't agree.
"So, did we?" she asked, looking at Finn.
"No one won," Graydon said from the doorway.
"That's a pity. I feel like the win should be mine by default," Kira said. She made one aborted movement to rise, before letting herself ease back. The wave of dizziness that preceded the attempt wasn't worth the possible humiliation.
"That's a bold statement, considering you needed both of us to save you," Graydon said, arching an eyebrow.
Gone was the concerned and slightly distraught man who'd whisked her out of the water. The untouchable commander was firmly in control.
Kira gave him a lazy smile. "All part of my master plan."
"You planned to nearly die?" Graydon asked skeptically.
"Yup."
Kira's thoughts felt floaty and far away as Jin groaned. "She doesn't know what she's saying. Ignore her."
"I do, too," Kira said, glaring at her friend. She turned to Graydon. "I planned to get shot by the drones and fake drown. Finn would have come to save me. Wasn't sure about you, but either way Raider would have been the first across the finish line."
She smiled at them as she outlined her brilliant plan. Her head listed to the side and she let it fall onto the pillow.
"How devious," Graydon said, not sounding as impressed as he should.
She nodded into the pillow. It was so soft and snugly. "I know."
"Too bad you didn't tell your friend that. He came running when you were attacked. From reports, he took down several drones before they managed to overwhelm him. The Luatha are quite impressed," Graydon said.
Kira groaned. Of all the times for Raider to express concern for her wellbeing. "He knows better than that."
"Evidently not," Raider said dryly from the doorway.
Kira's head popped up, her hair a tangled nest around her face as she glared at him. "We should have won."
"Instead, no one won," Graydon said smoothly.
Kira's head sank and she curled around her pillow.
"What's wrong with her?" Raider asked.
"She's under the influence of the sedative they gave her. One of the side effects is lowered inhibitions and a susceptibility to suggestion," Graydon said.
Raider's gaze was speculative as he glanced at Kira.
"Where did the lu-ong come from?" Raider asked.
"That is the question everyone is after, and one I’ve already set my people to answering," Graydon said. "The lu-ong are sacred animals to the Tuann, but they're not normally aggressive unless provoked."
"I know a secret," Kira said in a sing-song voice. She paused afterward and frowned. This sedative was powerful if it could make her sing. She hadn't so much as whistled a note since—her head tilted as she considered. She didn’t want to think about that.
She tuned into the conversation to find all three men staring at her. She blinked at them. "What?"
"The secret," Raider said, exasperation in his voice. "What is it?"
"The Tsavitee did it," Kira said grumpily. Hadn't she already told them this? It was fairly obvious.
Raider scoffed. "Not this again. You're tilting at windmills. The Tsavitee are gone. They have been for nine years."
Graydon folded his arms over his chest, contemplation on his face. "It's true, I did remove one of their collars from the lu-ong, but it could be a trick to throw us off. The person responsible could have procured it from the black market. I doubt a Tsavitee was involved. Our defenses are impenetrable. We haven't had a sizable incursion in over a thousand years."
Kira made a choked laughing sound. "That's what you think."
Raider's sigh was heavy and frustrated. "I thought you gave up this line of thinking when you left the Curs. The Tsavitee were beaten. They're gone. Get that through your head."
The look she gave him was full of sympathy. "They're not. They never left. They're hiding in plain sight. Just like they always have been."
She got distracted by the room. The lack of color was beginning to bother her. "This place is too white."
"Focus, Kira. Why do you think the Tsavitee are here?" Graydon asked.
Perhaps yellow or blue would be better for the space. Those colors were supposed to be soothing.
"Kira," Raider snapped.
It was a struggle to get her thoughts to take shape. "Because I felt them before the lu-ong attacked and before the assassination attempt last night."
"What?" both men shouted.
Kira blinked at them and yawned. "Pretty sure it was them. They've tried to capture or kill us a lot since we took over the Wanderer. But we always get away because we're sneaky ninjas."
"Hell yeah, we are," Jin said.
"Don't egg her on," Raider told Jin. His gaze was intent as he focused on Kira. "What are you saying?"
"About what?" she asked.
"The Tsavitee. You didn’t tell anyone you thought you saw one last night,” he said.
“Didn’t see it. Felt it. Just like I did in Idra and Rothchild,” she told him. “You wouldn’t have believed me. You guys never do.”
“Do you have any proof?” Raider asked with skepticism.
Kira snorted. Of course, he wanted proof. He never could trust her word.
He scowled at her and she realized she’d said that out loud.
“Ask Jace. They caught images of a Tsavitee Raven class buzzing Zepher.”
A growl escaped Graydon, and he seemed to expand, waves of energy pouring from him. Kira leaned closer cooing at them. How interesting.
She lifted her arm to see if she had the same and frowned. No pretty waves for her.
“Oh brother,” Jin muttered. “You probably shouldn’t have said that.”
Raider looked frozen in place as Graydon’s expression darkened.
“This is why they’ve been pushing to expand the treaty,” Graydon muttered. “The humans should have told us.”
“We’re tired of dancing to your and the Haldeel’s tune. You’ve placed so many restrictions on us that our science and technology are unable to advance,” Jace said from the doorway.
“Hi, Jace,” Kira waved.
He sent her a quelling look. “I’ll deal with you later.”
“Did I do something wrong?” Kira asked Jin.
“I don’t think you were supposed to tell them that.”
“Oops.” Kira thought a moment. “Do you think they’ll blame me?”
“When don’t they blame you?”
Good point. Kira decided not to worry about it, concentrating on the pleasant floating sensation instead as the two began arguing.
"There is a good reason we have closed certain avenues to you," Graydon said. "You want to play with things you don't understand. If it was only your own species’ extinction, we would let you be, but your hubris would pose a danger to all of us."
Kira yawned, too drowsy to pay attention. She drifted on a cloud of bliss as the argument flowed around her.
She started when Amila appeared at the end of her bed.
"Commander, t
hey're here."
Kira didn't hear his response, losing her battle with sleep.
*
Her rest was fitful as she dozed on and off before returning to awareness in spurts.
She opened her eyes to find Raider standing guard. "Where's Finn?"
"The big guy was dead on his feet. Told him to get some sleep," Raider said.
"Surprised he agreed to that," Kira said, adjusting her position in the bed as she tried to find a comfortable spot.
"I may have pointed out he'd be no good to you if he fell over from exhaustion," Raider admitted.
"You always were surprisingly good at persuasion, considering you’re the equivalent to a battering ram in most situations," Kira said, watching him through slitted eyelids.
"Someone had to be. You were always like an elephant in high heels in any diplomatic situation," he said.
Kira made a rusty sound that resembled a halfhearted chuckle. He was right. She had been exactly like that.
"They said it'd be a few more hours before that stuff wears off," Raider said.
"Hmm." Kira made a lazy sound.
"Why did you leave?" he asked.
"Didn't mean to," Kira muttered burrowing deeper into her covers. "By the time I realized, it was too late. Had to protect you and Jace. Himoto said this was the best way."
"Protect us? From what?"
"The next phase," Kira mumbled.
Sleep closed its jaws around her, stopping any further conversation.
The next time she woke, her head felt clear and the cobwebs were gone. The sound of whispers next to her bed made it impossible to sleep.
"What are you guys plotting?" Kira asked, without opening her eyes.
"Go to sleep," Raider told her.
"I'd love to, but a couple of someones decided to use my bedside as a location to have an intense conversation." By the end, Kira had shifted so she was half-reclining.
Her body ached, but nowhere near as bad as it had the first time she'd woken. At least she thought she'd been awake. Everything since the lu-ong was kind of hazy and disjointed, like a series of waking dreams.
She felt slightly weak and off balance, the very small use of the ki draining her. That was better than she’d expected. The last time she’d tried using it had left her in a much worse state.
Raider reached out and pulled the pillows into place behind her to support her weight.
Once she'd finished adjusting the sheets, she fixed the two men with a hard stare. "Now, spill."
Jace looked like he was on the verge of arguing. Raider was the one to meet her eyes calmly.
"The Tuann want to confine us to our quarters," he said.
Kira's mouth dropped open. "What did you guys do?"
"That's ironic coming from you," Jace said bitterly.
Kira looked between the two men, noting the anger in Jace's face and the neutrality in Raider's. "What're you talking about?"
"Evidently the sedative they dosed you with has some side effects," Raider said. "It makes you quite talkative."
Surprise and dismay ran across Kira's face as she got a sinking feeling. She vaguely remembered some of the conversation with Graydon.
"Oh no." Kira's head sank into her palms. This was not good. She definitely remembered revealing things that were supposed to stay secret. "How bad was it?"
Raider arched an eyebrow, amusement tugging at his lips. "We now know you find the Luatha's use of the color white concerning and see it as an indication of a lack of soul."
Kira groaned, not bothering to lift her head.
"You also seem worried over Jace's childlessness and that I'm going to die a lonely, grouchy old man," Raider continued mercilessly.
If Kira could have sunk through the bed, she would have.
"At least we finally know what you'd be like if you were able to get drunk," Jace said with a sigh.
"Yes, very, very chatty—and emotional," Raider responded, not bothering to hide his gloating at Kira's predicament.
"The Tuann also now know about the Tsavitee Ravens we picked up on our scanners. They're unhappy we kept their existence from them," Jace said, each word bit off.
Kira looked away. Of all the secrets she'd spilled, she’d given away one that wasn't really hers to tell.
Maybe she disagreed with the Consortium keeping the Tsavitee's return from their allies, but it hadn't been her decision to make.
"Confining you to the brig is a bit of a severe reaction, don't you think? What else am I missing?" Kira asked.
"Someone managed to infect them with your paranoia. They now think the Tsavitee have infiltrated the Consortium and want to expel all humans from this planet. There is also talking about dissolving the alliance." Jace said, acid dripping from his voice.
"Ah, that," Kira said lamely.
Damn, she wished she'd kept her mouth shut. The Tuann suspecting the Tsavitee had adapted enough to hide among humans would spell the end of the alliance.
"Luckily, they need the emperor's approval for that, so we have some time to warn our people to prepare," Raider said.
"Why would you tell them that?" Jace snapped. It was hard to separate the emotions in that question. They were all tangled together. Anger primarily, with a side of hurt and fury. "Especially when you know it's not true."
Except it was true. The humans didn't want to accept it, but their determined blindness didn't change the facts.
Kira had no words to explain so she kept silent, as she always did.
"I know you hate us, but do you really want us dead?" Jace asked.
She flinched inside.
"She's not lying," Jin said, drifting down from his spot near the ceiling.
"Jin, enough," Kira said tiredly.
"The cat's out of the bag now. Might as well paint them the full picture," Jin said stubbornly.
"Stop trying to dredge up ancient history," Kira said. "Just leave it alone."
"Not this time," he told her. He turned to the other two. "We've known for a long time there were Tsavitee sleeper agents among the Consortium. It's partially why we left."
"Bullshit," Jace said, his denial instantaneous and complete.
It didn't surprise Kira. She knew how hard it was to accept a betrayal of that magnitude. She'd done her own battle with denial when the truth had been shoved in her face.
Jin didn't respond in words. He knew as well as she did that without tangible proof there was little chance of Jace believing them. He'd live in the land of denial, just as he always had.
Jin projected a small stream of light onto Kira's bed. Over her legs, a small hologram took shape. A tiny Kira stood on the real Kira's knee, the faded outline of a space station taking shape around her. Her face was covered in blood from a cut on her forehead, and her eyes glittered with rage.
Crouched in front of her was a Tsavitee drudge, class one. Small and agile, it was the perfect agent when it came to fitting into small spaces—making them the ideal candidate for infiltrating space stations.
They spawned at an alarming rate. A single class one could create enough offspring to overrun a station in a window of ten days or less.
The recorded scene had taken place not long ago on New Neptune, a space station in the no man's land between systems. It wasn't quite under Consortium control, but it was operated primarily by humans.
Until this encounter, the station had been her preferred offloading point for the junk she salvaged. After the attack, she made sure to avoid it and any other stations in that quadrant.
The Kira on the hologram turned into a whirling, dancing dervish, her edge blade flashing as she carved up the Tsavitee as they attacked in mass.
The hologram ended with her standing over the bodies, panting with exhaustion before she jerked in response to something off camera.
"That happened three months ago on a human-controlled station," Jin said.
The two men had grown quiet as they watched Kira battle for her life.
Jace looked sick as
he scrubbed a hand over his face. "All this proves is the Tsavitee are up to their old tricks."
"They were waiting for us," Kira said, finally speaking. "A human contact of mine told them where we'd be and when. That person was the only one who knew I frequented the station."
"We've known they had a line into the Consortium for a while," Jin said. "We first suspected after Idra. Too many things went wrong on that planet. We launched an investigation, kept things quiet."
Jace shook his head, not wanting to believe it.
"Think, Knight. You're too smart to have not suspected something was wrong. Battles where they knew where we would be long before we did," Jin pressed. "Ambushes, where we lost so many. The only way they would have had that information is if someone fed it to them."
Raider nodded. "I agree. What he says makes sense."
"If you knew this, why didn't you tell anyone," Jace burst out. "Why didn't you warn us?"
Kira withdrew. She should have expected the question and the underlying blame, the betrayal that throbbed in his voice. She deserved it for not having seen the writing on the wall sooner. It hurt, nonetheless.
"We did," Jin said simply.
Both men looked at him, surprise and disbelief in their eyes. Kira held herself stiff and expressionless.
"We told Himoto. By then you already had the alliance with the Tuann. He said if it got out there were traitors among the humans, it would end any hope of keeping that alliance," Jin said.
"Why didn't you say something to us?" Jace asked.
Kira stirred. "By the time I put everything together and had proof, it was too late. The war was long over."
"You couldn't have said something before?" Jace asked.
"Kira was hurt during the Falling," Jin said, referencing one of the biggest battles of the war, the one that had turned the tide. "She was in a coma for the last three years of the war. She only woke up about seven years ago. That’s when all this came out."
Both men stared at her in shock. This, more than anything else had surprised them.
Kira fidgeted in the bed, trying to avoid their eyes. Their pity cut deeper than any wound, to a place she'd done her best to spackle over and call healed.
"A coma?" Jace's voice was soft.
She jerked her shoulders up in assent.
"Why didn't any of us know?" he asked.
