I let out a deep sigh. “What about him?”
“Have you talked to him?”
I slumped my shoulders, crumpling in on myself. “No.”
“Aren’t you at all curious why he punched Cal? If I had to bet money, I’d say it was totally justified. Cal can be such a dick.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I know. No love lost between you two.”
“Divorcing him was one of the best things you’ve done. And I’d never seen you happier. At least, not until Preston.”
I blew a raspberry, staring out at the pool. “Preston did make me happy. But when push came to shove, he wasn’t there for me when I needed him most.”
“Alexis,” she said, taking my hand in hers. “He let you down, sure. But people make mistakes. Don’t you think he deserves a second chance?”
I lifted a shoulder. “I know you’re Team Preston, but I have to consider what’s best not just for me, but for Sophia.” And, if I was pregnant, this new baby too.
“He was amazing with her. Don’t let one mistake erase all the great things he did.”
“Two mistakes.”
“Whatever.” She threw her hands in the air. “I think you and I both know that whatever happened that weekend was out of character.”
I nodded, considering it. It was extremely out of character. He’d always been punctual, kind, patient. And I’d lost count of the times he’d gone above and beyond to help Sophia or me. Thinking back on it, I didn’t know what more he could’ve done to show me he loved me, us.
“I’ll think about it,” I said.
And I did. Over lunch, I thought about it. While Sophia tried on clothes for school, I thought about it. In fact, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
I was grateful for Lauren’s company because I was distracted and exhausted. But she kept us busy, and she made sure we had fun. And when she joined us for dinner, it made the house seem a little less empty.
“Time for bed,” I told Sophia.
“I’m going to run a quick errand, and then I’ll be back,” Lauren said to me before hugging Sophia and wishing her sweet dreams.
I helped Sophia get ready for bed, and when she climbed between the covers, she asked, “What three things are you grateful for today?”
“You, Lauren, and—” I wanted to say Saltine crackers, but instead, I said, “Mermaids.”
“Mermaids?” She giggled.
“Yeah. Because they always seem to make you smile. All right.” I tucked the blanket around her. “What three things are you grateful for today?”
“Hmm. You, our swimming pool, and… Hey, will you tell me the bedtime story about the beautiful mermaid princess?”
I furrowed my brow, trying to figure out which story she was referring to. “I’m not sure I know that one. You want to show me?”
“No. It’s not in a book. It’s one Preston made up. It’s my favorite.”
“Well,” I said, scrambling to come up with something that might appease her instead. “How about the story of the dragon queen?”
“No.” Her lip began to quiver. “I want to hear the beautiful mermaid princess story.”
“Well, I don’t know it,” I sighed, feeling like Preston could comfort my child better than I could.
Without him, I felt lost. And I had no idea what I was going to do when school started next week and my vacation was over. It wasn’t just about his role in Sophia’s life, but his role in mine. He grounded me, kept me sane, made me feel like the confident, successful woman I wanted to be.
Without him, I felt like a shell of myself. Without him, it felt like our family was incomplete.
And being in this house—where everything reminded me of him—was going to drive me insane. Lauren wanted to decorate the nursery; I wanted to move. Because when I padded across the rug in the living room, I felt his hands on my skin. When I sat by the pool, I remembered the feel of his lips on mine, savoring that moment in the hammock. When I lay in bed at night, his scent lingered on my pillow. And when I woke up in the morning… I remembered that he was gone.
“Mommy, are you okay?”
I sniffled, not even realizing I was crying until I touched my cheeks and found them wet with tears. “I’m fine.”
She peered up at me with her wide, blue eyes. “It’s okay if you miss Preston. I do too.”
I pulled her into me, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. “He was pretty awesome, wasn’t he?”
“He was…the best.” I could hear the smile in her voice as she yawned. “I miss his pancakes.”
I missed everything about him.
I’d made a huge mistake, and the more I thought back on our relationship, on my actions, the worse I felt. How many times had I pushed him away? How many times had I placed a greater emphasis on appearances than his feelings?
At this point, I was pretty sure I was the one who needed to apologize—for not hearing him out. Not giving him a chance to tell his side of the story. Looking back on it now, I realized that both the night Sophia had broken her arm and the day of the party, I’d jumped to conclusions. I’d shut him down because I was scared.
“Maybe we can try to make some in the morning.” I kissed the top of her head. “Happy dreams, baby girl. I love you.”
“Sleep well, Mommy. I love you too.”
I switched off the light, and when I reached the door, Sophia said, “Wait. I forgot to say my third thing.”
“What is it?” I whispered, knowing she’d never go to bed without telling me.
“Preston.” She yawned. “I’m thankful for Preston.”
Me too, I thought, grateful it was too dark for her to see my tears.
I closed her door softly, pausing at the top of the stairs for a moment as I struggled to catch my breath. I used my fingertips to wipe away the tears and walked back downstairs to discover Lauren had returned and was drinking a glass of wine.
“No more excuses.” She shoved a box of pregnancy tests at me. “Do you know how many different pregnancy tests there are—digital, smiley face, two lines, one line, blue line?”
I laughed. “Yes. There are a lot of options, but they’re all pretty much the same.”
“Thanks. A. Lot,” she said. “I just spent ten minutes staring at the boxes, trying to decide which one you would choose.”
“Aww.” I teared up. “You’re such a good friend.”
“That’s right. You have no idea what I went through to get you those tests,” she huffed.
I frowned. “What you went through?” I wasn’t sure I followed.
“Funny thing,” she said, and she seemed flustered. Which was weird because Lauren never got flustered. “I was on the ‘family planning aisle’ at Target, staring at the tests when a super tall, super hot guy passes by. He paused, clearly checking me out. Or at least, that’s what I thought he was doing. And what did I do?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. What did you do?”
“I held up two boxes of pregnancy tests and told him they were for a friend.” She groaned.
I laughed. “That’s what everyone says.”
“But they really were for a friend—for you,” she huffed, her cheeks turning pink. “I made a damn fool of myself. So now, you really do have to take the test.”
My stomach churned. “I don’t know…”
“Exactly,” she said. “You don’t know if you’re pregnant. You might not be. And if you’re not, we’ll drink some wine.”
“I just… I’m not ready for this.”
“Ready or not.” She pursed her lips.
“Fine,” I huffed. “You’re right. I know you’re right.”
I tore open the box, and several tests went flying across the floor in the process. I grabbed one and tried to rip it open, but my hands were shaking so badly, I couldn’t.
“Here,” Lauren said, taking it from me. “Let me.”
“Do you want to take the test for me too?” I teased.
She wrapped her arm around me. “I can only imagine wh
at you’re thinking and feeling right now. But I’m here for you. Okay?”
I nodded. “Thank you.”
She gave me a squeeze before releasing me. “Now, go pee on a stick. You got this.”
I laughed and headed for the bathroom, feeling like I might throw up. You got this. You got this, I chanted to myself.
When I was done, I set the test on the counter and washed my hands. I didn’t know what the results would show: one line or two. But as I waited for them to appear, I knew one thing for certain. Pregnant or not, I wanted Preston back in my life. I wanted us to be a family.
Chapter Twenty-Six
I drove up the winding road, impressed by the other homes in the neighborhood. Most of the houses had been redone, but some were more modern than others. I was curious to see what style Hunter was interested in. And I was still trying to wrap my head around that fact that he wanted to buy a house. He’d told me it was because it was a good investment, but I sensed there was more to it.
I reached the top of the drive and confirmed it was the address he’d given me. The exterior was a bit modern for my taste, and it was all very…white. Still, it was a nice house, and the location couldn’t be beat—just minutes from the Sunset Strip, but still far enough away from the hustle and bustle. And I could only assume there would be some amazing views off the back.
The gate was open, and I let myself in, wondering if I was the first to arrive. I rapped my knuckles on the door, and it opened slightly.
“Hello,” I called, peeking my head around the door. “Hello?” I stepped farther inside, closing it behind me.
“Is anyone here?” I glanced around the space, my footsteps echoing on the Travertine floor. I was drawn toward the living room, where a wall of windows overlooked the pool and the city beyond.
Holy shit.
The views at this place were sick. I stood there a moment, taking them in, when I heard a noise from down the hall. I headed that direction. “Hello?”
Light trickled out from beneath a closed door. There was the sound of water running, and then the door swung open. Caramel-colored hair, sun-kissed skin, and curves for days…curves I was intimately familiar with. She lifted her head, her bronze eyes meeting mine.
“Alexis?”
She froze, her eyes going wide. “What are you doing here?”
“Hunter asked me to come look at a house.” My heart was pounding so hard, I’d be surprised if the neighbors didn’t hear it. “I had…” I swallowed, trying to gather my thoughts. “I didn’t know you were the real estate agent.”
“So, he’s not coming?”
I shook my head. “He’s in New York, but he’ll be back soon. And he wants a bigger place.”
She tilted back her head, showing me the long, delicate line of her neck. I traced it with my eyes, trailing down to her breasts, which looked fucking amazing. Her narrow waist. Her… God, this was awkward. And so incredibly painful.
I didn’t care if Hunter was truly interested in the house or not, there was no way I could stand here—with her.
She swayed on her feet, and I reached out a hand to steady her. “Hey. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she snapped, waving off my concern. As always—pushing me away. Nothing had changed. I didn’t know why I’d expected anything different.
“Maybe I should just go.” I turned for the door.
“No. Wait.” She grabbed my wrist, her small hand encircling my skin, lighting me up.
I closed my eyes and forced myself to take a deep breath in, then blew it out. I hated that she still had such a profound effect on me. That I could be such a fool when it came to this woman.
“I’m sorry. I…I’ve been meaning to call you,” she said.
“Is that so?” I turned back to face her, crossing my arms over my chest.
I couldn’t think straight when she was touching me. But now that I took a moment to look at her, really look at her, I noticed how pale she seemed. There were dark circles beneath her eyes, and she looked as if she was going to be sick.
She closed her eyes and held up one finger, asking me to wait. What was she even doing showing houses when it was obvious she should be in bed?
Despite my anger, my gut twisted with concern. “Can I get you something?” She shook her head. “Here.” I placed my hand on her shoulders and steered her toward the couch. “Sit. I’ll find you some water.”
“There’s a bottle next to my bag.”
“What—no green shake?” I asked before I could stop myself.
“Oh god,” she groaned. “Please don’t mention those right now.”
I frowned. For as long as I’d known her, she had one nearly every morning. And she always seemed to enjoy them, or at least, not have quite that reaction to them. I grabbed the water bottle before rushing back to her.
She took a few small sips before setting it on the coffee table. “Thank you.”
“You should be at home, resting.”
“I’m fine,” she said in a breezy tone I didn’t buy. “It’ll pass.”
An awkward silence descended on us, and I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t like to leave things unresolved, not since I’d had cancer. And especially not since what had happened with Sam.
“I’m sorry for punching Cal. I hope he’s okay,” I said, needing closure, if nothing else.
She blew out a breath. “He’s fine. If you ever wondered where Sophia gets her drama queen side from, it’s him.”
We both laughed, but there was an undercurrent of anxiety running through it. As if neither one of us knew quite what to do or say. I remained there for a moment, pleasure mixed with pain. I didn’t know if I could sit here and talk to her as if nothing had happened, when my entire world, my heart, was shattered.
I stood, dragging my fingers through my hair. “What are we doing?”
“We’re talking. We’re finally doing what we should’ve done before. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to explain what happened the weekend of Sophia’s birthday. I know it’s probably too late, and that I probably don’t deserve it, but I’d like to hear your side of the story now.”
I went to the window, surveying the city. “What’s the point?” I muttered, more to myself.
I’d apologized for punching Cal, but I didn’t know how much more I could take. Especially when I wasn’t sure it would make any difference.
“Preston.” Her hand was on my back, her touch reawakening the ache for her I’d tried so desperately to ignore. “Talk to me, please. I want to know.”
“I’m not sure you do,” I said, knowing how difficult it would be for me to tell her the truth—and for her to hear it.
“You’re not…” She withdrew her hand, and I turned to see her holding it to her mouth, her eyes wide. “You’re not sick, are you?”
“No.” Thank god. “But my friend Sam is.” I led her back over to the couch, knowing this was a heavy conversation. “Are you sure you feel up to this?”
“Yes. Please, talk to me.”
I nodded. “The day Sophia broke her arm…” I drew in a shaky breath. “Well, I got a call from Sam’s wife that he tried to commit suicide.”
She held a hand to her mouth again. “Oh my god, Preston. I’m so sorry. Is he—” Her eyes searched mine. “Is he okay?”
I nodded. “He’ll be discharged from the hospital soon, but he has a long road ahead of him.”
She placed her hand on my bicep. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“He’d called me the night of—the night when it happened, but I didn’t answer.”
“You can’t blame yourself for what happened,” she said.
I didn’t say anything—couldn’t. Instead, I stared straight ahead and focused on finishing the story. “I lost track of time and there was no cell service in the hospital, so I had no idea what was going on with Sophia. As soon as I found out about Sam, I should’ve called you. At least then you could’ve had Cal or someone else pick her up. I can’t tell you how terribl
e I feel that she broke her wrist and I wasn’t there.”
She lifted a shoulder. “You couldn’t have prevented it. No one could.”
“I know. But every time I think of her sitting there alone, scared and in pain…” I cleared my throat.
“I know.” She hung her head. “But even if you’d gotten there first, I would’ve left work to be with Sophia. She loves the mermaid Kate drew, by the way.”
I grinned, feeling a little lighter. “I’m glad. I kind of thought she might. How is she? Is her arm healing okay?”
Alexis nodded, taking another sip of water. “She’s doing well. She was excited to start school.”
“Does she…” I swallowed, turning my attention to the view. It was much easier than looking at Alexis. “Does Sophia hate me?”
“What?” Alexis gasped, taking my hand in hers. “No. She doesn’t hate you. She misses you. She loves you.” Something released in my chest, a tightness I’d been holding in.
“I love her too.” Saying the words was as easy as breathing.
“So, do you want to tell me why you punched Cal?”
I groaned. “Not really.”
I would never want her to know just how hurtful his comments were. How insensitive. I wasn’t even sure he’d really meant them, but they’d certainly hit their mark.
“Okay, then,” she said, and I sensed her frustration. “Will you at least answer one question?”
I nodded.
“Did you hit him to defend yourself?” She held her breath, and everything seemed to hinge on my answer.
I shook my head. “No.” Her face fell, the color draining from it. “But I was defending someone else.”
Her eyes were filled with hope when she met my gaze. “Preston…I want another chance. Sophia wants you to come back—I want you to come back.”
“What about Gabby?” I blurted. I wasn’t sure I could go back to being Sophia’s nanny, mostly because I wasn’t sure I could be around Alexis after everything that had happened.
“No.” She scooted closer. “Not as the manny, nanny, whatever,” she huffed. “I want to be together. I want to be a family.”
I didn’t know what to say. How many times had I hoped she’d say those words? And now…
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