Getting past Robin’s friendly but inquisitive cross-examination with a straight face was another challenge altogether. When he stepped out of the bathroom, both men stopped what they were doing and looked at him expectantly.
“All better?” Robin asked.
Rino thought he’d combust, convinced they knew exactly what had transpired behind the closed door, but they were too polite to give him a hard time. It was great working with men who shared the BDSM lifestyle, but they’d been at this much longer and had probably done this same thing back in the day. For all he knew, they still did it, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask.
“It’s all good,” Rino mumbled. “I think I’ll finish lunch in the staff room.”
“You must have one hell of a stomach virus,” Scott commented dryly. “This is the third time this week you’ve had to dash into the restroom.”
“And it’s usually at lunch,” Robin added, trying to suppress a grin. “Talk about good timing.”
Rino looked from one face to the other and realized he was busted. “You guys are assholes,” he blurted.
Scott and Robin burst out laughing, and Rino sank down on a chair, burying his face in his hands. He wondered if it was possible to actually die of shame. His skin felt hot, and he itched all over.
After Robin got himself under control, he choked out some encouragement. “Don’t feel bad, Rino. I did this to Scott all the time.”
Rino looked up and blinked. “Is it a Dom thing to watch?”
“Wait—what? Ethan was watching you beat off?” Robin queried.
“Oh God….”
“Even better,” Scott chortled.
“How long do these power plays continue?” Rino asked, doing his best to ignore Scott who was trying to hide his amusement but failing miserably. The giggling was annoying as hell.
“As long as he wants,” Robin said.
“Does he let you come?” Scott interjected.
Rino turned to Scott in surprise. “Why wouldn’t he?”
“Robin made me jerk off until I was on the brink, but then I had to stop. He loves edging.”
“That’s cruel.”
“My thing,” Robin said unapologetically.
“What would happen if I said no?” Rino asked. “I wouldn’t, but what if I flat-out refused?”
“You’d talk about it,” Robin said seriously. “It has to be consensual for both of you, or it becomes a big issue.”
“Do you guys ever argue over scenes?”
“In the beginning, we did,” Scott admitted. “The first few months were a little challenging.”
“Because of Ron,” Robin reminded him. “It had nothing to do with hard limits.”
“Truth,” Scott said.
“Who’s Ron?”
“He was our former employer. A homophobic, worthless piece of shit who also happened to be my biological father,” Scott said nonchalantly.
“Whoa…I sense a lot of unresolved issues,” Rino observed.
“Not at all,” Robin clarified. “They were expunged shortly after the man croaked.”
“At least you know where you came from.”
Scott gave Rino a pointed look. “You don’t?”
Rino shook his head. “All I know is he was Caucasian.”
“Fathers are overrated,” Scott said flatly.
“They are not,” Robin said. “Ours just happened to fall short.”
“Isn’t it telling that three fatherless men are into the BDSM lifestyle?” Rino commented.
Lance walked in just in time to hear the remark. “One has nothing to do with the other,” he said. “I have a great dad and yet….”
“You’re as deviant as the rest of us,” Scott added with a smile. “Good to know.”
“Shut up,” Lance said. “I have no daddy issues.”
“Why assume we have issues at all?” Robin asked. “Spicy versus bland is a personal preference.”
“I refuse to get into a debate over BDSM here at work,” Lance said. “Ro and I have intense conversations about the pros and cons of the lifestyle, and I’d prefer to leave this subject at home.”
“Since I’m the newbie, I’m curious about why we do certain things,” Rino argued. “If I can’t ask you, then I have to pester my Master and he doesn’t always have the time.”
“Sorry,” Lance replied. “I wish I could help, but I’m a beginner compared to these two. Robin and Scott can provide all the answers you need about long-term relationships.”
“What do you want to know?” Robin asked helpfully.
“The supposed control over your submissive is an illusion without our consent, right? We subs allow it to make you happy.”
“You crave the power exchange as much as we do,” Robin argued. “Don’t stand there and tell me you’re only doing it out of love. When Ethan looks at you like you fucking hung the moon after doing exactly as he asks, isn’t there a huge sense of accomplishment, which in turn leaves you grounded and fulfilled?”
“Well, when you put it that way….”
“There is no other way to put it,” Scott said from his side of the desk. “The relationship is symbiotic. One can’t thrive without the other, and I wouldn’t exchange my life for the vanilla alternative.”
“Obviously not. How long have you guys been doing this full-time?” Rino asked. He vaguely remembered hearing some astounding number but couldn’t remember it at the moment.
“Going on a decade.”
“You guys are an inspiration,” Lance commented.
“Are you and Ro okay?” Robin asked Lance, peering at him with concern.
“We’re fine. It takes a while to iron out the little details which seem so innocuous in the beginning, but fester like a splinter if left unresolved.”
“Can you be more specific?” Rino asked. “I don’t want to pry, but there’s a certain level of comfort in knowing a good D/s relationship isn’t always smooth sailing.”
“Far from it,” Lance said. “It’s like anything else, Rino. You have to work at it and iron out the wrinkles.”
“You were going to give me an example?”
“Money is a huge bugaboo for Ro. He’s the most self-sufficient guy I know and has the pride of his conquistador ancestors. Christ, the man is phobic when it comes to anything he perceives as a handout. He refuses to accept money unless it’s earned. Our household expenses are split down the middle, no matter how often I tell him it’s not necessary. The only time he’ll accept anything expensive is on a special occasion like his birthday or Christmas, and even then, it’s a big fucking deal.”
“I get it,” Rino said. “No one wants to feel indebted.”
“It’s not a debt when it’s given freely. Sometimes it’s bloody inconvenient,” Lance explained further. “If I want to take him on a spur-of-the-moment vacation, it turns into a freaking argument over costs.”
“Why can’t you just order him? You’re the Dominant, right?” Rino asked, trying to understand the problem.
Lance looked horrified. “Are you kidding me? He’ll safeword and go off somewhere to sulk.”
“You can use a safeword even if you’re not in a scene?”
“What part about consensual don’t you understand?” Lance asked. Turning to Scott and Robin, he added. “This guy really is a newbie.”
“As pure as driven snow,” Scott remarked.
“Leave him alone,” Robin scolded. “How’s he going to learn if you guys make him feel like a dweeb every time he asks a question?”
“You’re right,” Lance said. “Maybe he and Ro should get together.”
“I’d love to sit down and chat with him,” Rino said. “So far we’ve waved at each other in passing.”
“Why don’t we have dinner at our place?” Robin asked. “Is that okay with you, Scott?”
“Sounds good,” Scott said, nodding. “Is Saturday too soon?”
“I’ll have to check with Ro,” Lance said. “It might be his weekend to visit the dip
shit.”
“Who’s a dipshit?” Rino asked.
“Ro’s twin Tony. He’s in San Quentin, and Ro visits him once a month without fail.”
“What did he do?”
“A bunch of stuff.”
“Murder?” Rino asked.
“God no,” Lance said. “Kidnapping, assault, and petty theft. He’s not smart enough to commit murder, and furthermore, I’m not sure my parents could handle it,” Lance said. “Then again, it is Roque Celdran we’re talking about. They’d walk through fire for my guy.”
“Does anyone here have a problem with murdering relatives?” Rino asked, looking at the three faces who quickly transformed from jokers to jurors. “’Cause this seems like a good time to tell you my mother has been languishing in jail for murdering my stepfather eighteen years ago.”
“What?” they chorused.
Rino saw the look of horror on each face and hurried to set them straight. “Don’t worry; it was self-defense.”
“Then why is she still in jail?” Scott asked.
“Long story,” Rino said. “I’ll catch you up later.”
Rino hurried down the hallway to his cubicle and prepared for his first patient of the afternoon. He was so flustered by his stupid reveal he’d forgotten to brush his teeth, which he always did after lunch. He took several steadying breaths and reached for his toothbrush. Using the sink in his operatory, he quickly brushed, gargled, and wiped everything down before hurrying out to the waiting room to greet his patient.
Sandra, the new receptionist, handed him a phone message as he passed her desk. When he saw the call was from San Francisco General, he stopped short. “Do you have any idea what they want?”
She shook her head. “No clue.”
Rino frowned. Getting pertinent details so the patient’s record was handy for the return call was forgotten in her enthusiasm to pass along the message.
Seeing his reaction, Sandra asked, “Would you like me to call back and get more information?”
“Please.”
Leaving her to follow up, Rino introduced himself to his patient and led the way back to his cubicle. He was slipping on the protective paper bib when Sandra returned with another slip of paper. Justin Blackstone was admitted and listed you as emergency contact.
The only Blackstone he knew was the pastor at St. Peter and Paul’s on Filbert Street. The sum total of their association were a few banal conversations after Sunday Mass. This didn’t qualify him as a friend, let alone an emergency contact. Even more surprising was the absence of the honorific before his name. Did he leave it out on purpose?
“Please call back and tell them I’ll stop by after work unless this is urgent.”
“Okay.”
Rino resumed his task while he recalled his first meeting with the priest. It happened months ago, the weekend he and Ethan had reunited. He’d wandered into the church after having stayed away for years, and Father Justin had offered sound advice. He encouraged Rino to return to academics, a career he’d abandoned after leaving the seminary. The suggestion had nudged Rino to explore his options, and he was currently in the process of making it a reality. By the fall term, he’d be teaching one night class a week at San Francisco State. It meant being able to keep his full-time job as a hygienist to pay his bills while dipping his toes back into the world of teaching to nourish his soul. Father Justin had also invited Rino to attend Mass as often as he wished without fear of judgment.
The one thing Rino remembered about Father Justin was his insight. At the time, he wondered if the priest was a kindred spirit and battling his own demons with regards to his orientation. If his suspicions were correct, and he’d fallen into the wrong hands, Rino could easily relate. He hoped this wasn’t the case but was determined to lend a hand regardless. It was the least he could do.
Chapter 4
Ethan paced the halls with his hands stuck deep in his pockets. As a urologist who specialized in gender reassignment, Ethan confronted one challenging scenario after another, and yet, this current emergency was more disturbing because Rino was involved.
“Ready to go?” Ethan asked when Rino stepped outside the room.
“Not yet. Did you find out anything?”
“He’s going to make a good but painful recovery.”
“What a relief.” He only wished Jay had come to him for advice before succumbing to temptation. Random hookups, especially the online variety, were notoriously dangerous. Even the most experienced gay men fell victim to predators, and an innocent like Jay didn’t stand a chance.
Whoever had assaulted him probably assumed he’d never file charges, and Rino was certain Jay wouldn’t dream of calling attention to his lapse of judgment. One word to his superiors would subject him to rigorous questioning and possible excommunication. Nevertheless, having to rely on a stranger’s help had to be devastating.
Rino had chosen to deal with a similar situation on his own. At the time, it seemed like the only thing to do, but, in retrospect, he would have been better off with a professional. It had taken Rino years to make peace with his past, and he owed most of it to the emotional stability he’d found in his new relationship. Would Jay have the same good fortune? Somehow, Rino doubted there was anyone else like Ethan available to pick up the pieces.
“I told him he can stay at my place until he’s ready to go back to his parish.”
“How well do you know this guy?” Ethan asked.
“We’ve had a few conversations after Mass, but he’s in trouble, Eth. I have to help.”
“I commend your kindness, sugar, but don’t you think he’d be better off with someone who can watch him round the clock?”
“No,” Rino asserted. “His superiors will demand answers he’s not ready to face yet.”
“You realize you’ll have a potential suicide on your hands.”
“Possibly, but I think I can talk him off the ledge.”
“Not if you have to work during the day and spend your evenings with me.”
“Won’t you consider sharing me for a few days?”
Ethan shook his head. “If he were a family member, I might be more inclined to generosity, but he’s a stranger, and his issues are going to take more than a few days to clear up. You’re not being realistic if you think this will go away with a shoulder to cry on, no matter how sturdy yours might be. He needs psychiatric help.”
“Is it the doctor’s recommendation?”
“No, but Justin’s actions speak louder than words. The guy wants out of the priesthood but can’t find the door.”
“Call him Jay, Eth. It’s what he prefers.”
“Jay it is. Tell him he needs a proper shrink.”
“We can’t assume anything,” Rino argued. “I’ve walked the walk, Eth. My advice will be geared toward his spiritual conflict. I doubt he’ll get it from a doctor.”
“Perhaps, but his recovery won’t happen overnight. I feel he’d be better served with a professional.”
“Spiritual counseling is out of the scope of a psychiatrist. Jay needs someone with a good handle on his religious dilemma.”
“He needs a psychiatrist more than a spiritual adviser.”
“You’re being obtuse.”
“I’m watching out for you, sugar. You’re taking on a monumental task, which can’t possibly have a good outcome.”
“I made it,” Rino reminded him. “Why shouldn’t he?”
“You’re different,” Ethan said. “Jay doesn’t have a tenth of your courage.”
“Don’t jump to conclusions. Are we going to have our first major argument over another man’s problem?”
“If you insist on having your way,” Ethan replied. “I think I’m in a good position to make a medical judgment, whereas you’re simply reacting to a cry for help.”
“We should let his attending decide if my offer has any merit or not.”
The color rose in Ethan’s face, and Rino knew he’d overstepped his submissive boundaries. Still, Ethan
had to realize he couldn’t turn his back on Jay, and he would safeword if his Dom insisted on having his way.
“Please,” Rino begged sweetly. “I need one night with Jay to make my own assessment. If you’re right, I’ll back away and let the pros take over.”
Ethan took a deep breath, and Rino prayed he’d listen to reason.
“You get one night,” Ethan said woodenly.
“Thank you.” Rino exhaled in relief. “I promise to give you an hourly update if necessary.”
“I don’t need one,” Ethan retorted. “What I want is you back at my side.”
“I’m yours,” Rino assured him. “One night won’t change anything.”
“I meant physically.”
“Let me say goodbye, and I’ll make this up to you when we get home.”
He walked back into Jay’s room and the despair on the priest’s face justified Rino’s pugnacious attitude. Ethan would sympathize once he got over his sulk.
“I’ve cleared it with my boyfriend. You’ll stay at my apartment until you decide how you want to proceed.”
“Are you sure?”
“He’s a little possessive when it comes to my time but he’s made an exception for you.”
“You see? This is a bad idea, Rino. I can always stay at a motel until I’m healed.”
“Then what?”
Jay shrugged. “I’ll figure it out.”
“Not good enough,” Rino countered. “Let’s get you settled before you make any decisions.”
“I’m not sure I belong in the Church anymore.”
“We can discuss this in depth once you get out of here,” Rino said patiently.
“My situation is different from yours,” Jay reminded him. “You weren’t stupid enough to join the priesthood.”
“You had a vocation you couldn’t ignore.”
Jay snorted. “What about this disaster? Is it part of God’s plan?”
“Maybe,” Rino said. “We won’t know until we talk about it.”
“I doubt I’ll ever achieve your level of confidence.”
Rino laughed disparagingly. “You should have met me a year ago; I was a hot mess.”
Yield Page 3
