by R J Nolan
"Good idea. That'll work." Kim moved over and levered herself up onto the gurney.
Jess started to hand over Tara, then hesitated. "You need to get a gown. She's a mess."
Kim looked down at the pale purple shirt she was wearing, then up at what used to be a stark white lab coat that Jess had on. Tara stirred restlessly in Jess's arms. Kim didn't even think twice. She held out her arms. "It's okay. Give her to me. I'd rather not take the chance of waking her, until it's absolutely necessary."
She would have done it regardless, but the smile Jess gave her made it worth whatever happened to her clothes. Kim cuddled the little girl tenderly in her arms. She smiled back at Jess as they worked together to provide the care Tara needed.
Jess dropped her paperwork on her desk. Bypassing the desk chair, she crossed the small room and flopped down onto the sofa that took up most of the back wall of her office. Although it had not been physically demanding or even require any great skill, taking care of Tara had been taxing. Jess worked to remain emotionally detached from her patients. It was what made her good at her job. In the case of children, she always had an especially hard time, they were totally defenseless. She scrubbed her hands over her face. You've got work to do if you ever want to get out of here tonight.
Pushing up from the sofa, she headed for her desk only to be interrupted by a knock on the door. Now what? Thankfully, the last of the press had left shortly after the social worker picked up Tara. Jess had already turned over the department to the next shift. With a disgruntled grumble, she jerked open the door to her office. "What?" she asked before the door even opened fully.
"Hi," Kim said a bit tentatively.
Jess immediately regretted her sharp tone. She was glad for the chance to make up for her earlier behavior. She was remorseful for her reaction this morning when Kim brought her coffee and a muffin. At the time, her defenses had instantly gone up as her thoughts immediately turned to her ex, Myra. She had wondered what Kim's motive was behind the offering. After she'd had a chance to think about it, Jess realized how unfair she had been. She was just being nice. Not everyone is out to get close to you, then humiliate you. Refusing to give into the bad memories associated with Myra, Jess focused on Kim. "Come on in, Kim." She smiled warmly.
"Thanks, Jess."
Her tension dissipated when Kim smiled in return. Re-entering her office, she resisted the urge to retreat behind her desk. It was an ingrained reaction to help distance herself from people. Let her in. You know you want to.
Jess leaned against the edge of her desk. The silk blouse and tailored slacks Kim had been wearing earlier had been replaced by scrubs. The dark blue scrubs set off her blond hair and made her blue eyes more vivid than usual. God she's beautiful. Jess sighed to herself. And it's a lot more than skin deep. Jess's heart had melted watching Kim's tender treatment of Tara. "I hope your clothes aren't a total loss. I know that case was a bit above and beyond the call for a psych consult."
Kim moved toward Jess, and leaned on the opposite end of her desk. "Don't worry about it. That's what they make dry cleaners for. I'm relieved you didn't find anything more serious than mild dehydration. After seeing her filthy condition, I was pretty worried about what else you might uncover."
"Me too. You were really great with her."
"Thanks, Jess. I think we did a good job with her." Kim smiled. "We make a good team."
An unaccustomed blush stained Jess's face at the praise. "Thanks. And yes, we do." A bit uncomfortable with the turn of the conversation, Jess moved back to more solid ground. "Well, I should get back to work if I ever want to get out of here," she said gesturing to the charts on her desk.
"Okay. I just came in to let you know I spoke to the woman from child protective services before she left with Tara. They're going to bring in a child psychologist to do a more comprehensive evaluation than I could here in the ER. I asked her to give me a call and let me know how Tara is doing."
Renewed anger surged through Jess at the thought of the little girl, alone among strangers, and scared. You can't protect them all. Jess wasn't sure she wanted to know about Tara. She saw too many hurt and abused children in the ER. Worrying about the fate of each and every one of them would tear her apart. "Okay. Thanks for letting me know. Have a good night."
"You too, Jess. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Night, Kim."
Jess stared at the door long after Kim had departed. A sense of loneliness she rarely acknowledged filled her. The scary part was that the few moments she had just spent with Kim had brightened her whole day and lifted that loneliness if only for a few minutes.
CHAPTER 6
TAKING ADVANTAGE OF a lull in the action in the ER, Kim made her way to the cafeteria. It was hard to believe that tomorrow was the last day of her rotation. The two weeks had passed quickly. While she enjoyed working with psych patients in group sessions, in the past she found that she frequently missed the fast pace of the ER once she returned to psych.
Kim picked up a tray and began to make her selections. When the serving line started to bunch up, she noticed Cindy, one of the ER nurses just ahead of her. She was talking to another woman Kim didn't recognize.
The women were engrossed in their conversation and appeared unaware of her approach. As she moved closer she couldn't help but overhear their conversation.
"You should have seen Dr. Archer when his girlfriend showed up and bitched him out. Right in the middle of the waiting room too. Oh, man!"
Cindy laughed. "We haven't had that kind of fireworks in the ER since Dr. McKenna's ex stormed right up to her at the nurses' station and gave us all an earful."
Kim winced. Poor Jess. She must have been humiliated. Maybe that's why her interactions with her staff are so guarded. Sure can't blame her.
The nurse shook her head. "No way. McKenna's got an ex?"
"Shocked me too. But it's true," Cindy said. "Now this was awhile back, almost two years ago. Haven't seen or heard about her dating anyone since. Though after what I heard that day, I couldn't blame her. Phew, talk about more than you wanted to know about someone. I always thought she was stuck-up, but if even half of what her ex said about her is true it's —"
Anger surged through Kim. She pushed her tray forward and bumped it into Cindy's with enough force to jolt the other woman's tray. "Excuse me."
She had been feeling a bit guilty about eavesdropping, but it wasn't as if the women were trying to keep their conversation private. Despite her desire to learn more about Jess, this wasn't right. These women were professionals. They should not be gossiping in the cafeteria as if they were in high school.
Cindy turned. "Hey! Oh... Dr. Donovan. " A light blush spread across her face. Cindy's eyes darted over to her friend and then quickly back to Kim.
Kim resisted the urge to glare at the women. "I hope this isn't how you usually spend your lunch break, ladies." That's right. I heard every word.
Cindy's face flushed, this time with anger. "It was a private conversation."
"No. It's wasn't." Kim struggled to keep her own temper. "There are people everywhere. And you weren't being quiet about it. I'm sure Dr. McKenna would not appreciate you gossiping about her — period. Much less doing so in the cafeteria where anyone, possibly even a patient, could hear you."
Cindy's expression changed swiftly from anger to panic. She jerked her tray off the counter and hurried away. Her friend quickly followed.
That's when Kim became aware of the presence behind her. She had been so focused on the two women that she had not realized that someone had walked up. She turned and came face to face with a stern-faced Jess.
A vivid blush burned across Kim's face. Great. How much did she hear? Kim knew she had not done anything wrong, but she was embarrassed by the situation, nonetheless.
Deciding to take the bull by the horns so to speak, Kim met Jess's gaze directly. She moved a bit closer to Jess and lowered her voice. "I hope I didn't overstep myself with your nurse? I just didn't think y
ou'd appreciate her gossiping like that in such a public place."
"No, you didn't. Cindy is one of the worst offenders in ER when it comes to spreading rumors." Jess shrugged. "As far as gossip in general goes, I think it's unavoidable. As I'm sure you know, working in a hospital can be like living in a fishbowl. I try to ignore it. Doing anything else just seems to encourage it."
Kim could sense Jess's frustration despite her words. "I know what you mean, but in this case they were being so blatant about it I just couldn't keep quiet."
A resigned smile crossed Jess's face. "While I appreciate the sentiment, it's not necessary. I'm well aware of the things said about me."
Doesn't make it right or any less hurtful. Kim sighed in frustration. Although this wasn't the time or place to do so, she wanted so badly to reach out to Jess and comfort her. At the same time, she knew the gesture was not something Jess would ever acknowledge or accept. In fact, it would most likely drive her away.
A group of people came up behind Jess effectively ending their conversation.
Kim finished choosing her food and headed for the cashier. She waited for Jess to finish paying for her selections.
"Want to share a table?" Kim asked when Jess was done. This was a good chance to get to talk to Jess away from the hub-bub of the ER.
Jess hesitated and just for a moment Kim thought she was going to agree.
"Sorry, I can't. I have to get back to the residents," Jess said.
Kim wondered if it was just an excuse not to have lunch with her. What do you expect? You know how she is about keeping people at arm's length. After hearing just the little bit Cindy said, she most likely has a damn good reason for that attitude.
"Okay. I'll see you later in the ER," Kim said.
With a quick wave, Jess made for the exit.
Knowing what she did now, Kim wondered if she would ever get more than just a glimpse of the real woman beneath Jess's formidable ER chief persona.
CHAPTER 7
JESS RETURNED TO the ER from her meeting to find quite a few of the staff clustered at the nurses' station. She glanced at the patient board and was surprised to see only a few names listed. It was unusual for things to be so quiet on a Friday. She started to head for her office when she heard Bates's voice.
"What about you, Dr. Donovan? What are you up to this weekend?" Bates asked.
Jess hadn't noticed Kim sitting at the computer. She moved a bit closer but for the moment did not make her presence known. He better not be bothering her again.
Kim turned her chair to face the group. "Oh, not much, still settling in."
"A few of us are getting together tonight after work for a drink. Want to join us?" Bates asked.
"Maybe some other time. I just want to get home tonight and crash." Kim started to turn back to the computer.
"How about this weekend?" Bates persisted. "Let's go out for a drink and dinner. I'll show you around."
Several people snickered.
Bates glared at his co-workers.
Wonder what that's about? As realization dawned, a sense of satisfaction spread through Jess. What she had suspected from the start was true. Ah... I may be rusty when it comes to dating, but at least my gaydar still works.
"No thanks. I used to live around here. I'm familiar with the area," Kim said.
Bates moved over to Kim and put a hand on her shoulder. "Come on. It'll be fun."
An unexpected surge of anger washed over Jess at the sight of Bates's hand on Kim. She strode into the center of the group.
Jess's gaze pinned several people as she looked around at the gathered staff. "Don't you people have something to do? There are patients to be seen. And if you don't have a patient, are all the drug carts stocked? Everyone's paperwork complete?"
Everyone scattered except for Bates and Kim.
Bates started to speak to Kim, but Jess cut him off.
"Dr. Bates, don't you have patients to see?" Jess struggled to keep the anger she was feeling out of her voice.
"I'm waiting for labs to come back on the guy in Bed Two," Bates said. He turned his back on Jess. "So, Dr. Donovan, maybe we could get together some other time?"
Jess quickly scanned the waiting charts, then plucked one from the rack. She smothered a self-satisfied smile. This ought to keep you busy and cool your jets.
Before Kim could respond, Jess marched over to Bates and shoved the chart into his hands. "Since you have so much time on your hands, you can take the guy in Bed Three. He's impacted and needs to be cleaned out."
Bates started to protest, but one look at Jess's face seemed to convince him otherwise and he hurried away.
"I'm sorry about him." Jess pulled over a chair and sat down next to Kim. "Obviously my talking to him hasn't made much of an impression. I'll talk to him again. This time I'll put a formal letter of counseling in his record."
Kim shook her head. "You don't need to do that. I can handle him. He must have missed the hospital gossip about me. I'll be straight with him next time he asks." Kim laughed. "Well, maybe not straight, but I'll make sure he gets the message."
Gay and out. That's always a welcome combination. Jess met Kim's eyes and was surprised to see what looked like a bit of concern. Huh... maybe not so out? Then why did she... Realization dawned. She's worried about how I'll react. I thought for sure big mouthed Cindy had clued her in after the incident in the cafeteria yesterday. Guess not. She had not actually heard what Cindy had said, only Kim defending her.
The thought of Kim being upset or worried caused an inexplicable sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. She knew one sure way to put Kim at ease. Jess allowed a warm smile to grace her face. "Being straight is overrated." Arousal flashed through Jess and her heart rate soared when a brilliant smile blazed across Kim's face.
"Yes. It certainly is," Kim said.
A loud thump behind her made Jess jump. She jerked around in her chair and spotted Penny standing a few feet away with an angry scowl on her face. Several charts were lying on the counter in front of her. A quick glance around showed the nurses' station was deserted, except for Penny. Still, it's hardly the place to be discussing your sexuality, no matter how obliquely.
Jess turned back toward Kim. "I need to get back to work too. My paperwork is calling. I'll be in my office if you have any problems or just want a quiet place to work."
"Thanks," Kim said. "I may take you up on that later."
As Jess reviewed his chart, she kept a cautious eye on the patient sitting quietly on the gurney. He had been brought in from a local homeless shelter and appeared quite delusional. His responses to standard questions had been wildly inappropriate. After the patient had been cleared medically, Jess had sent the resident to find Kim.
Jess had not seen Kim since she had so blithely revealed her sexuality to her earlier in the day. Not only had she acted impulsively in telling Kim which was totally unlike her, more surprising was the fact that she didn't have any regrets. Doesn't mean you should consider getting involved with her. Although Jess knew that was true, the urge to do just that was getting stronger every day.
Looking over as the exam room door opened, Jess fought to keep the automatic smile off her face that appeared at the very sight of Kim.
"Dr. Bertucci fill you in?" Jess asked.
Kim walked up next to the patient's bed. "Yes. I'll take it from here. Thanks."
Jess hesitated to leave the room. While the patient had been calm so far, this guy seemed twitchy to her. She moved back and leaned against the door out of the patient's line of sight.
"Hello. I'm Dr. Donovan. How are you feeling today?" Kim asked.
"They took the cat, but they didn't get me."
"Can you tell me your name?"
The patient's gaze darted nervously around the room. He gripped the bedrails. "I can't tell you, because then they'll know," he said.
Faint alarm bells started to sound at the sudden shift in the patient's body language. Jess moved a bit closer to the foot of th
e gurney.
"Do you know where you are?" Kim asked calmly.
The man's eyes narrowed. "You're one of them. You can't fool me. All you women are."
Damn! I knew this guy was hinky. Jess took a step toward Kim and the patient.
He let out a blood-curdling scream. "Get away from me!"
Jess's body tensed. "Kim! Get back."
Kim stepped back but not quickly enough.
The man lunged against the bedrails and grabbed Kim by the shoulders. With an furious roar, he thrust her violently away.
No!
Jess rushed forward and grasped Kim from behind. She jerked her away from the patient and up close against her chest.
Jess's heart pounded fiercely in her chest and her arms tightened convulsively around Kim. A wave of nausea rippled through Jess at the prospect of something happening to Kim.
"Are you okay?" Jess asked breathlessly. She felt the rapid rise and fall of Kim's chest against her arm.
The patient glared at them but made no move to get off the gurney.
Kim appeared a bit rattled when she turned to look over her shoulder at Jess. "Yes. I am now." She offered a shaky smile. "Thanks for the quick save."
Now that she knew Kim was all right, Jess became acutely aware of the intimacy of their position. Arousal shot through her, making her nipples harden against Kim's back. Oh God. Jess was stunned by the strength of her wholly inappropriate reaction. Jerking her arms back, she quickly stepped away from Kim and put some distance between them.
Kim looked back at Jess with a strange expression on her face. "Are you okay?"
A vivid blush suffused Jess's face. She couldn't bring herself to meet Kim's eyes. "Fine." Jess took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure.
