by Mary Martel
“Neelan.” I whisper in horror. “What’s happened with Neelan?”
Daisy’s delicate features pinch and her eyes harden. “I’m afraid he did not make it.”
I feel wetness leak out of the corner of my eyes. I knew he wouldn’t be able to survive such a wound, but having it confirmed was like having someone shove a shard of glass in my heart.
“You cry over the death of a man you do not know?” Traine’s voice is as sharp as a whip, lashing out at me.
“Traine,” Daisy quietly reprimands. “Be careful with your words, husband.”
“No. It’s okay.” I choke out past the lump in my throat. “He’s right, I did not know him.” I look Traine dead in the eyes and let him see all the pain I’m feeling. All the hurt and sorrow I feel about not only what was done to me but my fallen friend as well.
I let it all bleed into my eyes.
Some people say eyes are the window to one’s soul. Something, in this very moment, staring into Traine’s teal, teal eyes, I very much believed to be true.
“He was kind to me. I mean, yeah, he asked me questions, private questions, he had no business asking me, but he was kind. He defended me before he even knew my name. He looked at me in a way no one’s ever looked at me before. With something like adoration. He didn’t think I was a freak because I can hear other people’s thoughts. He told me I had a gift. And… And when they came… he pushed me behind him and told me to run.”
By this point tears are pouring out of my eyes and I’m crying uncontrollably. I know I’m rambling on but I can’t seem to stop the words from tumbling out of my lips.
“I tried to get to him. They wouldn’t let me go. I tried. He had a sword in… in his chest. I couldn’t. There was nothing I could do for him and now he’s dead, and it’s all my fault.”
And it was. All my fault. Neelan had been so very kind to me and as a result he’d ended up getting a sword shoved into his chest. Now he’s dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.
“Back in the day,” Traine quietly cuts into my hysterics, “the Dwarfs lived and died by the sword. They fought in great battles for their King or Queen. There is honor in that kind of death. Neelan died trying to protect you, because he found you worthy of protecting.”
His eyes shine bright and eerie as they slowly comb over my face.
“The fact that your heart so openly weeps for the Dwarf says it all.”
“I told you, she’s special.” Daisy states proudly.
“That you did, wife. That you did.”
They move away from the bed, giving me privacy to grieve on my own. Privacy I greatly appreciate.
Inhaling deeply, I manage to control my tears and shut them off. My raw emotions leave me feeling vulnerable and exposed.
After I stop sniffling they cautiously approach the bed, hand in hand. They’re so similar in appearance they look more like siblings rather than a married couple.
Daisy lays a white garment at my feet. “We must hurry if we want to get there in time for you to light the pyre.”
And, now I’m back to being confused.
“Pyre?”
“Yes.” Daisy nods. “The funeral pyre.”
Oh shit. That doesn’t sound good.
I ask a question I seem to find myself constantly asking. “Where’s Ian?” The million dollar question.
“Dealing with the Council. We will have time to prepare you for that horrid mess after. Now we must hurry.”
Well, that didn’t sound good either. This place seriously sucks.
Apparently Fairies had no sense of modesty because as soon as I stand up Daisy proceeds to undress me then redress me again. Right in front of her husband’s watchful eye. Even though I’m completely naked for a moment in front of them I never once feel exposed under their scrutiny.
For some bizarre reason I feel safe with them. Even naked I feel safe.
I stand still as Daisy dresses me in a white, filmy, see through dress. The hem of the skirt brushes the floor, swaying loosely around my legs. The dress is sleeveless with a deep V- neck line, exposing a great deal of my breasts. And the hideous scar nestled between them. It’s an ugly reminder of what I’ve been through.
I hate it.
Daisy offers me no form of undergarments. Which I somehow find fitting for this insane asylum. I don’t care and I don’t ask. I’ve got bigger things to deal with than going commando.
When I’m dressed she pulls a chair over and gestures for me to take a seat. As soon as I’m sitting she goes to work on my hair. I can feel her paring and braiding it. Two French braids, one on each side of my head it feels like.
To my utter surprise, Traine drops to his knees on the floor at my feet. Lifting one foot then the other he slides strappy, gladiator looking sandals on each foot.
“Thank you,” I murmur, oddly more embarrassed than I had been minutes ago when I stood naked before him.
As a reply he grins up at me.
Geez, these people are so strange.
“All done,” Daisy says softly from her spot behind me. “Would you like to look at yourself in a mirror?”
Remembering her earlier words about the scar on my face I mutely shake my head in a negative.
I’m not quite ready to look at myself in a mirror. Maybe I never will be.
“Then let us be on our way.”
Oh goody. Can’t wait.
*****
Oh man, oh man. I can’t help but wonder how it is that I keep finding myself in these crazy, life altering situations when I’ve spent the majority of my life shying away from most people and basically keeping myself to myself.
“Are you ready?” Daisy whispers at my side. Her hand gently rests on the inside of my elbow, guiding me forward against my will.
The answer to her question would be a big, fat, stinking no. I would never be ready for something like this. Never. Not if I lived to be three hundred and I’ve done this eight thousand times in my life would I be ready. Unless, of course, my heart somehow shrivels up in my chest and turns into a tiny black ball of ash encrusted in evil. But, I doubt anything like that would ever happen to me. Hopefully. With this strange world I now occupy, who knows.
“Shayne. Are you ready?”
Is she high? Hell no I’m not ready.
Then another thought occurs to me. In a group this large I should be able to hear voices in my head – the thoughts of others. But I don’t. Nothing but radio silence on my end.
“I can’t hear them,” I blurt. Too loud. People turn to stare at the freak show that is me. Great. Just great. Me and my big mouth.
Daisy squeezes my elbow. “I can keep it under control until we’ve the time for me to teach you how to control it yourself.” She flushes pink and her eyes shift to the ground. “That is, of course, if you will even want me to.”
“Really?” Excitement bubbles up inside me. “You can teach me how to control it?”
Her eyes latch on to mine. She licks her lips nervously. So out of character for the Fairy. “If that is what you wish, then yes.”
“Why wouldn’t I want that?”
“If all goes well you will be not only my Queen but the Queen. And I will be-”
“Daisy,” I say, cutting her off. The quiet murmur of voices around us drops off, leaving silence in its wake. Sighing in exasperation I mentally tune everyone else out. “Is there some kind of supernatural segregation system in place that I don’t know about but probably should?”
Daisy gapes at me. “A what?”
I should probably come with some type of warning label stating: Inappropriate, awkward, and freakish. Come close at your own risk!
Quiet laughter ensues around me. Daisy, wide eyed and horrified opens her mouth to speak but I get there first.
“I get what you’re saying.” And I did. I so got her. She was worried that when, if, I became the Queen I wouldn’t want her to train me. She thought I’d want someone more suitable for my station. Someone who is a ‘Royal’. Whatever the fuck that me
ant. Not that I care.
“You’re like Neelan.” My arm swings out to the pile of wood with a small body wrapped in white lays atop it. Neelan. My heart clenches. I’m still unable to look at him.
“You’re a beautiful person who has shown me nothing but kindness. Just like Neelan you stepped forward to help me when I needed you to. He tried to protect me and you healed me. Neither of which I will ever forget. Neelan was taken from me before I ever really got to know him and had a chance to return his kindness. But you are a different story. You’re here. You’re alive. And I hope, genuinely hope, that you give me the chance to be your friend. That you give me the chance to show you just how much your kindness means to me.”
“I would be honored to train you, and it would be my pleasure to call you my friend.” Daisy’s hand leaves my elbow and she twines her fingers through my own.
I don’t know how it happened, but somewhere along the way, during the crazy journey, I stopped being bothered by physical affection. Before I hit the road with the guys I couldn’t even stand the sight of displays of affection. Now people are touching me willy-nilly and I’m not bothered by it in the least.
My, how things have changed. I don’t know how to feel about this. Part of me is sad because I feel like I’ve lost something important. Like my shield.
“Let us do this,” Daisy whispers. Her eyes shine with the sheen of unshed tears.
I don’t understand her tears. I don’t really understand any of this.
“Shayne.”
Right. Back to reality. Daisy and Traine had walked me out of the mansion, past the immaculate lawn, and into the dense forest. We’d walked until we came upon a small clearing. A small clearing packed with people surrounding the funeral pyre.
A funeral pyre I’m now supposed to grab a torch, walk up to, and set ablaze.
And Daisy wants me to just waltz on up there like it’s nothing. In front of all these people. These people who are staring directly at me. People who’ve just witnessed my moment with Daisy.
How I seem to constantly find myself in these uncomfortable situations I will never know.
“Shayne, we must begin.”
“I can’t do this.” I rush out in a moment of panic when it hits me exactly what it is that she expects me to do. She wants me to set a person on fire. Yeah, he’s a dead person, and as such, won’t feel a thing, but still he’s a person. Neelan, she wants me to set Neelan on fire.
This is wrong on so many different levels it isn’t even funny.
“My Queen.” A small, burly, barrel chested man steps forward. The top of his head barely clears my elbow. Dwarf. “The burning is a tradition amongst the Dwarfs. We believe it sets our soul free from our bodies.” He quietly explains to me.
“How did you - ”
“I can hear your thoughts, my Queen.”
Oh shit.
Not good. Really not good.
What the hell am I supposed to say to that?
“Can everyone?” I whisper in horror to no one in particular.
“Not everyone,” the Dwarf shares. “But a good majority.”
Oh my god.
Unfortunately he keeps sharing. “They aren’t trying to be invasive. Clearly you’re in a state and your emotions are running high. Which makes you project your thoughts. And you are doing nothing to shield them.”
Oh dear.
This just keeps getting worse and worse.
“I… I’m sorry.” I quickly stammer out, not quite sure exactly what it is I’m apologizing for.
“If you are uncomfortable then you do not need to light the pyre. You being here is more than enough. Especially after everything you’ve been through, and what you have coming next.”
My lower lips starts to tremble. People know what happened to me. What Roland and those horrible men did to me. I haven’t even seen Ian since I woke up, and I haven’t had a chance to talk about it yet, much less process it myself. And these people knew all the gory details.
How utterly humiliating to know that all these people knew. Utterly humiliating.
I move to take a step back, away from the Dwarf, but he moves too fast for me. Standing on his tippy toes he reaches up and brushes the back of his knuckles across my cheekbone. Right where I imagine my scar to be. I’d know for sure if only I’d been brave enough to look at my own face in the mirror.
“What kind of animal could mark such a sweet face?” He murmurs. “You poor, poor child.”
Okay, so it would seem that earlier I had lied. I lied when I said I’d gotten past my hang ups when it came to people touching me. This right here proves it because I’m downright uncomfortable.
“My apologies.” His hand immediately leaves my face and he steps back.
Damn!
Stupid thoughts.
“What’s your name?” I ask him.
“Lars, my Queen.”
“It’s just Shayne, please.” This Queen business was going to give me a big head.
He tips his head to the side in acknowledgment.
I make a snap decision and decide to go with it. “I’ll do it. I’ll light the pyre. For Neelan, I’ll do it.”
These people probably think I’m crazy, but whatever. Maybe I am. I’d rather they think me crazy than weak. Because I’m not weak. Far from it.
Straightening my spine I stand tall. Strong. I am strong. Despite what’s happened to me I am strong. Or, maybe it’s because of what’s happened to me with first my Aunt then Roland that makes me strong.
“What do you need me to do?” I ask Lars.
He eyes me with approval shining bright in his eyes. “You take the torch up there and toss it on top. Then you stand back with the rest of us as we pay our respects to our fallen brother as his soul leaves this world moving on to the next.” He shrugs. “It’s really quite simple, actually.”
Yeah, simple. I’m so sure.
“Well alrighty then. Let’s get this done.”
Without a second thought I brush off both Daisy and Traine and step forward. In this moment everything becomes obvious to me. Everything.
That creep Sunglasses banging on my door in the middle of the night then barging into my apartment and attacking me. A very naked Ian and a super sweet Riley coming to my rescue and saving me. Me running away with them and leaving Anna May behind, never knowing if I’d see her again. Waking up in a crappy motel in between Riley and Ian. Finding out Riley’s gay. Ian calling me his mate. Collette showing up. Riley and Ian being shifters. My telepathy being forced out in the open. Brooks. The twins. A tracker. Seeing a shifter in his animal form. Giving Ian my secrets after he gave me his. Meeting Caleb. Collette’s dilapidated, yet still incredibly beautiful house. Have sex with Ian, having him bite me – mark me. The throne room. Coming face-to-face with Shifters, Vampires, Fairies, and Dwarfs. Collette trying to protect me. A Fairy healing me. Neelan stepping up for me. Neelan being weirdly sweet to me. Neelan roughly shoving me behind him and telling me to run. Neelan with a sword sticking out of his chest. Waking up naked and alone with my hands chained above my head. Me being hit repeatedly and cut. Me experiencing horrible pain. The golden glow of a shifters eyes. Waking up two days later, completely healed and with two Fairies. Being healed by a Fairy named Daisy, again. Daisy and her husband bringing me here.
I had been floating through life with no plan or destination in sight. Yet, somehow, I landed here.
Here.
Here, with a man who calls me his family, his mate, wants to reclaim what’s been stolen from him, and thinks I’m more important that everything he holds dear to him.
Here, with that man’s people who call me a Queen.
I can’t help but feel, while they’re all staring at me, that I was born to live in this exact moment – that I was born to be here, right now.
Eyes. I can feel them on me, burning into me.
I spot him immediately. Ian. Standing off in the distance, just beyond the crowd, watching me. Riley stands next to him, as do all thr
ee LeRoy brothers, and Collette. A line of bodies encased in crimson robes stand behind them.
“…Our King…”
“…What’s the Council doing here…”
Ignoring the voices circling around me, I lock eyes with the only person who matters to me.
Ian.
How long has he been standing there? How long has he been watching me interact with his people? I do not know the answers to my questions, but I do know now isn’t the time to voice them.
Breaking eye contact I look away. He cannot hold my hand and protect me forever. Some things I must do on my own. And do them I will. But first things first.
Of their own violation my feet carry me forward. The crowd of people part for me. No surprise there.
When I reach the pyre I don’t think twice before grabbing a torch and pulling it free of the ground.
Lars had told me all I needed to do was toss my torch on the pyre. This, for whatever reason, doesn’t feel right to me. Shouldn’t something be said? Shouldn’t I say something?
I turn and face the watchful crowd of mourners.
I didn’t know Neelan well enough to have a great deal to say about him so I decide to keep it simple.
“Neelan, may his soul fly free,” I whisper.
It’s a whisper, but I know everyone hears me.
Then I turn and toss my torch on top of the pyre, right on top of Neelan’s compact body.
Flame sticks to the white cloth he’s wrapped in and takes hold. The next thing I know Neelan is burning. Because of me, he’s burning.
The hands of several different people lightly touch my back and arms as I stand still and watch the body of an incredible man burn to nothing more than ash.
It takes what feels like forever.
To say it hurts to watch is an understatement. But I stand firm, tall, proud, and strong. Like I imagine a real Queen would.
*****
The Council
Do you feel that?”
“Feel what exactly?” The future King growls menacingly.
“Her pain. Such sorrow.”
“Yes,” the future King snarls. “I feel her pain. And, more, I just feel her.”
“And, yet you do nothing to ease her pain.”
