by Heather Long
Then after sound kisses from both of his brothers, Dahlia stepped into his arms and they were away. He carried her right to the front porch of the ranch, not bothering to drop them inside. He wanted her to see all of it.
His wings vanished as the wood formed under their feet and the humid air pressed against their skin.
“Wow,” Dahlia said, linking her fingers with his. “It’s…wide open.” It was that. Tilting his head, he tried to see it through her eyes. The rolling hills and copses of trees decorated the landscape. They were miles from the nearest road. The drive from the street to the house followed an old beaten path that had long-since grown over. Horses lazed in the sun, tails flicking. Even the fences were placed sparingly.
The only other building nearby was the barn, and it was always open so the horses could go in from the elements if they needed it.
“Come,” Zhan beckoned, and guided her down the steps. She left the satchel with her change of clothes on the porch and moved with him. Bees buzzed in the air, lazily swooping for the wildflowers that scattered the property. The scent of grass, sunshine, and horses filled his lungs, but nothing could compete with the perfume of Dahlia.
She’d pulled her mass of dark hair up into a messy bun atop her head, and all he wanted to do was pluck the pins and free it. Hair like that had been made for his grip. As a concession to the heat though, he left it alone.
“How long have you guys lived here?”
“Centuries,” he admitted. “On and off. We moved around for a while, but we like it here. It’s quiet. Far away from most people, and we don’t see humans unless we go looking for them. The horses are good company. There are stray cats that come through, the occasional dog. We look after them when they choose to stay, and let them go when they want to move on.”
Her smile lit him up inside.
“You’re kind of a softy, aren’t you?”
“I’m not Seth,” he teased. “I know what you mean, and no, Dahlia, I’m not. I used to like humanity, I liked it too much. That caring cost me.”
“That was why you walked away.”
A heavy sigh escaped him. As much as he would prefer to discuss any other topic, Tarus was right when he said she deserved to hear in their words why they hadn’t intervened. To know them, she had to know all of them.
“You haven’t asked me about my grace.”
“If I ask,” she murmured. “Would you tell me?”
He glanced at her. Justice rested quietly within him, no rage driving his beast, no pounding to escape his skin. Justice didn’t want to be anywhere else either. Telling her wouldn’t endanger her. Seth had revealed Judgment and Tarus Punishment, and she hadn’t run.
“I’m Justice,” he told her with a release of a breath.
Her laughter surrounded him like an embrace. “You said that like you were saying, I’m Batman.”
The reference made him grin. “If I was, then Tarus would end up being Robin and Seth, Alfred. I don’t think either of my brothers would appreciate the comparison.”
“I dunno, I think Tarus would be more like Red Robin… Jason Todd all grown up and badass hot.”
He snorted. “That would make Seth, Dick Grayson then?”
“Hey, don’t knock it. First of all, athletic and an acrobat, great for positions, and he can definitely put me in some. Besides, Nightwing’s pretty hot, too.”
Delight spilled through him. Maybe this would be easier than he thought. “If only it were that simple.”
“Tell me,” she invited. “We’ll make it simple.”
He took her hand in his and turned it over, studying the way the olive tan of his skin played against the cream of hers. “Sit down with me?”
She nodded, smiling at him precariously, like she wasn’t sure why the conversation suddenly took a serious turn. Pairs of Adirondack chairs were set against the house every ten feet on the long porch. Intent on giving her what she asked for, he led her over to them. He flopped down in one of the chairs, expecting her to take the seat next to him. Instead, she pushed him back with a hand to his shoulder and straddled his lap.
“Okay, Zhan. Whatever you want to tell me is clearly not pleasant for you, so I’m not going to let you tell me without a physical connection, capiche?” She cupped his shoulders by his neck, rubbing her thumbs over his collarbone.
“Yes, Lovely.” He stared up into her face and thought for the thousandth time, why couldn’t he have broken his one rule that one time and saved her?
“So out with it. Make it simple, I know you can do it.” She gave him a cheeky grin, egging him on.
“Out of all of our graces, mine is the one that should have saved you.” He gulped and glanced down at her stomach, unable to meet her eyes. “Seth’s hands were literally tied until Alex followed through with the act of killing you. But I could see the injustice of your life written all over you. Your soul is so bright and shining, but the taint of injustice casts shadows around you. Those shadows were closing in on you that night, and I knew something bad was going to happen. And I did nothing. I watched him drag you out, and finished my beer with my brother.”
Her sigh was pregnant with something he didn’t want to name. She bent her head to lock gazes with him and broke his heart. “I understand. You’re probably feeling a heavy amount of guilt over that, but don’t. At first I was angry and hurt that people who could have stopped my death did nothing, but I’m not anymore.
“Maybe I wasn’t supposed to live. Maybe I would have died that night anyway, so I can’t blame you for not saving me. The extra time that Seth gave me is a gift, and I cherish every minute of it. I want to know more about you and your grace, but I don’t blame you.” The kiss she gave him was barely more than a brush of her lips, but it was like she breathed life back into him.
Blowing out a harsh breath, he scrubbed a hand over his face. “That’s very kind of you, but I blame myself. And I always will. Because I didn’t try.”
She shrugged like she wasn’t sure how to respond, then said, “Well, I hope someday you see that blaming yourself is pointless.” She grinned. “Just think about all of the people you can save now. When you do, you should tell them they should thank me, because I was the catalyst that brought you back.”
Zhan smiled sadly at her self-satisfied expression. He had welcomed it back with pleasure to come to her, but would it be permanent even after she was gone? He wanted to say yes, but he was afraid her loss was going to be the biggest loss of all. Already, he didn’t know how he and his brothers would go on without her.
“I’ll tell you one more thing, then we can move on from such a poor subject.” Running his hands on the outside of her thighs has small bursts of electricity traveling up his arm. It was a connection he’d never had before, and he wondered why her, why now?
Her nod of acknowledgement was the only response he got. “I want you to know why I chose to fall. Why I locked that part of myself away, so that maybe you won’t think I’m a monster for not stepping in.” He raised a hand to stop her when she tried to object. “It’s okay. I’d think that about me too. But after the conversation in the living room that one day, I want to tell you… I was absolutely fascinated with humans. And for a long time, I felt like what I did was right. Whenever I used my grace, I could feel the injustice done to that person being righted. It was a heady feeling to know how much influence I’d had in the world. Maybe that’s not the correct word, difference fits better. How much of a difference I and my brothers had made.
“But the draw over time urged me to watch the humans I’d saved. With my grace, I can see the good in someone, their motives. After a while, I wanted to see what that looked like, how they interacted with a corrupt world. What I started to notice shattered my reality until only the stark, bitter truth remained.” He paused, letting that sink in as he gathered his next words.
“There was a farmer I’d saved once. I’d come across him as he was manning his fruit stand on the edge of town. Like you, the shadows closing in
on him were so tight, he would not have made it more than a few days without my interference. He was kind. Loved his family, helped his neighbors. But his workers fleeced his crops whenever he wasn’t around. The town's citizens made cutting remarks about the quality of his goods to get a cheaper price when there was nothing wrong with them. And his wife, who had a long running affair with one of the neighbors he was so good to. Two of his children weren’t even his.”
“Wow, that’s a lot. You can see all that in the shadows around us?” She glanced around herself, probably trying to see the shadows around her. But now, there was only one. After Seth shared his grace with her, it erased all of her injustices except one, that of a beautiful life cut much too short.
Zhan shrugged. “It’s more of a knowing, like a quick glimpse into their life. I used my grace to bring justice to those who had wronged him, but something niggled in the back of my mind, demanding I stay and observe him. So I did. For two days, I watched as he went through his routines, happier but not entirely sure why. On the eve of the second night, he went out to check his crops and a band of thieves were passing through. They slit his throat and stole what crops were already harvested, just because they could.”
Her fingers tightened, digging into his skin. “That’s incredibly sad. Like Final Destination. Have you seen that movie?”
Startled with the change of subject, he shook his head.
“It’s about people who escape their death, but it wasn’t for good. They each died in a different way because they were meant to die in that moment. How do you know that you were meant to save them from injustice? Maybe it was their fate collecting in a different way.”
He paused, examining her words, looking for ways to debunk them. While he knew she was wrong, he couldn’t deny the fact that she made a surprisingly strong point.
“That’s not the way of our powers. If it were, there would literally be no point for me and my brothers.” Although now that he thought of it, the farmer was one of many that he watched meet a similar fate so soon after they were saved.
“I’m not saying that some of the people you save aren’t saved for good, but there might be some that are beyond saving. And as depressing and miserable as it sounds, some are meant to experience certain things in their life. It’s what shapes people. Or their death could be meant to shape someone else. I mean, think about it, have you ever heard that joy is so strong only in the face of sorrow? If everyone were happy all the time, then there would be no need for you angels with your graces at all.”
One of the strings knotted around his heart started to unravel. For so long, he’d felt disconnected and dejected because of what he couldn’t do, but Dahlia had a way of making him feel less of a failure. There were still holes in what she was saying, but if he believed even a modicum of her words, then the world might not be so bleak.
Except when he thought of losing her. He refused to believe there was any good to come from her passing.
“I like the way you think, Lovely.” He cupped her face and brought her in for a smoldering kiss, his tongue dueling with hers until he felt a shudder wrack her body.
“You guys are the best kissers.” She rested her head on his shoulder.
Smirking, he squeezed her tighter to him.
“Is that the big event that caused your fall?” The dreamy note in her voice was an ego booster to him, even if her words were like a bucket of ice water.
“No, that was only the first time I noticed that my grace wasn’t as powerful as I had thought. The final test to my sanity was many centuries later. By this time, I had started to interact with humans. Never in a permanent way, given what I am, but I enjoyed their conversations, their zest for life. I’d met a barmaid in a tavern on the silk road.” Even now, his heart ached for the girl he once knew. “I knew her before any bad had come her way. She was bubbly, sweet, and beautiful for the time. She often kept me company when I visited. I loved those places because they were a hub of human activity.”
“I will not be jealous. I will not be jealous,” she whispered, probably to herself, but he heard her just fine. And the swell of joy and possessiveness that filled him bubbled over until he locked both of his arms around her. He was equal parts protective and greedy when it came to Dahlia, and he cherished every reaction that betrayed she might return even a fraction of his feelings.
“No need to be jealous. I never took her as a lover. She was too young. Too naive. I merely enjoyed her company.” He paused as his mind turned back to that night, immersing him in long forgotten memories. “I had stayed until closing one night, when a group of rowdy travelers stayed late. I didn’t trust them, and they were part of the reason I’d stuck around. Masking myself from their presence, I watched and I waited. Hoping my instincts were wrong and all would be well. But they never are wrong. And one of the men followed Arezoo into the kitchen. That was her name, Arezoo.” Pain stabbed his heart as he remembered her so vividly, it was as if she were standing right in front of him. She was his biggest failure.
No, holding Dahlia, Arezoo was now his second.
“She was petite, not very strong, reminding me of a fragile hummingbird. When she gathered the dishes to take away, the man followed her, making sure to be quiet so he could take her by surprise. She didn’t even know he was there. I used my grace to sever his life, protecting countless more women from that monster.” Next came the hard part of the story.
“Seth called me back home, needing my grace. We tried to stay together for the most part, but I used to sneak away as often as I could. I caught Arezoo, letting her know I would not be back and to be vigilant among the travelers. She had many brothers who could protect her, but she was too stubborn to rely on them. Thought she was independent, and I guess for that time she was.”
“Oh no,” Dahlia said, pushing her face closer into my neck before sitting back. “I feel like this is where shit’s about to do down. Go ahead. I can take it.” Her head was so close to Zhan’s that all he could see was the rich, bottomless depths of Dahlia’s beautiful obsidian eyes. It softened the pain of the story to know he was lost in her.
“It was a week before I could go back. A week. I hadn’t rushed back because I had taken care of the problem. Even though I knew sometimes it didn’t stick, I just believed she was too sweet for life to shit on twice in such a short time. But when I went back, she was gone. It was during a tumultuous time when the Romans warred with the Parthians. She had been stolen, and by the time I tracked her down, she had been beaten and raped so many times, it had crushed her spirit. She was so close to death, she could see my wings, and thanked me for saving her. She thought I was there to give her death, a final reprieve for all she had suffered. I couldn’t do it. I…”
“Shh.” Dahlia wrapped her arms around him and rocked him side to side, offering what comfort she could. “It’s all right.”
“I couldn’t give her the death she wanted, but she was beaten so badly, she was dying anyway. I did the only thing I could do and held her hand until she passed.” Bish had shown up, and taken her somewhere he could not follow. It had crushed him.
That was when he realized there was only pain to be had from his fascination with humans. The fate he could not save Arezoo from was the final straw that broke his belief in his grace and made him question it all.
From that moment, he had felt like nothing he’d ever done had made a difference. What was the point of their grace, when it didn’t save the ones who deserved it?
When Dahlia sat back, releasing him from her hold, tears glistened in her eyes, until they spilled over, leaving tracks down her face. How odd that such a blatant show of her humanity would be what cracked the walls around his heart, allowing her to slip through freely.
Days until she was gone, and now he knew with all certainty that he would not survive without her.
19
‘Perverting the course of Justice’ is an offense committed when a person prevents Justice from being served on himself or on another pa
rty. Justice deserved some, especially after all this time. This girl was more than ready to help. - Dahlia
Dahlia
The death so many centuries—millennia really—earlier had left its mark on Zhan. The scars lingered in his eyes while the damage darkened his voice. “I’m so sorry, Dahlia,” he whispered. “I wish I had done something differently for her, for you.”
Framing his face with my hands, I nuzzled a kiss against his lips. It wasn’t about the passion lurking there, or even the desire coiling inside of me. It was about comforting him. “Sometimes, life sucks, Zhan,” I told him. “You’re eternal, do you know how wonderful I find that?”
He snorted.
“No, don’t,” I shushed him. “You’re eternal, I don’t have to worry about you.” Even if I did worry about him. Worried about his brothers, too. They’d been building bridges, reconnecting. Zhan and Tarus both seemed to have found their grace again. Maybe it was an illusion or maybe…
“What I said about fate,” I continued before I bit his lower lip gently, scraping my teeth over it. The blown pupils in his eyes drowned out any hint of color. His wings reappeared with a rustle and a snap. The very heavy pressure of his erection pressed right up against me, but I didn’t focus on any of those things. Instead, I poured myself into kissing him. Gentle licks, teasing nips, and the softest pressure while massaging his cheeks with my thumbs.
The scent of him filled my lungs again, all decadent and sweet. The allure of something I wanted to sink into and lose myself rather than resist.
“Yes?” The word came out a huskier note than earlier, and I smiled. His hands rested on my hips, but he’d begun to rub them in a slow motion in between squeezes.
“If you had saved me, I wouldn’t be here right now.” I pressed a kiss to his nose before I nipped it, then kissed a path to his ear. “You would never have tied me to your wall in the green room of sexual torment and frustration.”
Tracing my tongue around the whorls of his ear, I groaned when he began to laugh. The throaty sound freeing and wonderfully masculine. If I hadn’t already been wet, I would be now. One moment, I sucked on his earlobe, and the next, I was face to face with feathers when he put me over his shoulder.
