by Adrian, Lara
I set down my fork, my already weak appetite drying up altogether when I think about how recklessly close I was to the edge of something dangerous with Jared Rush.
“I’m not sure how I let any of this happen,” I admit, miserable with all my questionable choices lately. “I just know it can’t continue.”
Paige tilts her head. “By ‘it’ are you talking about your contract to pose for Rush, or letting him melt your panties off you again?”
Eve smiles. “She wasn’t wearing panties, remember?”
I groan, but I’m not sure if it’s in reaction to my friends’ teasing or to the way my core tightens at the thought of letting Jared’s mouth anywhere near mine again. To say nothing of letting him near any other part of my body. The fact that I can be aroused by a man I’m certain can only be bad news and trouble for me is just more evidence for staying away from him.
“I’m talking about all of it,” I say, pushing my half-eaten lunch away from me. “I never should’ve agreed to it in the first place.”
“Daniel should have never pressured you to agree,” Evelyn says gently. She reaches out and gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. “I know you’re always the first one in line to help someone if you can, but this is different. I can’t imagine any problem big enough for Gabe that he would be okay with me posing for one of Jared Rush’s paintings in order to save himself, let alone encourage me to do it.”
I can’t imagine that, either. Gabriel Noble leads the security team for Dominic Baine’s corporate offices, headquartered in a sleek glass tower on West 57th Street. He and Evelyn have been together only for a matter of weeks, but it’s obvious to anyone who sees them that Gabe is head over heels in love with her and she with him. As a combat veteran who lost part of his leg in the war, he’s been through the worst kind of hell on the battlefield. I know he’d walk through that much pain and more if it meant keeping the woman he loves safe.
“You deserve better than that, Mel,” Evelyn says, her tone solemn. “Daniel shouldn’t have let you agree to that contract for any price.”
A small, ironic laugh dies in my throat. “That’s what Jared said to me. The first morning I went to his house, he told me if he were Daniel, he’d rather put a bullet in his head than put me anywhere near a man like himself.”
A strange look of surprise sweeps over Evelyn’s face. “He said that?”
At my nod, Paige narrows her eyes. “If Rush really felt that way, then why the hell did he offer a hundred and sixty-five thousand dollars to paint you?”
“Because that’s what it took for me to say yes.”
It feels strange to hear his words coming out of my own mouth. I can’t say them without reliving every electrically charged moment we’ve shared these past few days since Daniel’s reckless loss at Jared’s game table.
No more than I can help wondering how things might have been different if Jared and I had met under different circumstances. I must be crazy to even consider it, especially after yesterday, never mind all the troubling things Paige has confirmed about him today.
Not that my halo is without tarnish. After all, it’s not as if he forced himself on me. I kissed him willingly, welcomed his touch without reservation. I took off my clothes to pose for him on my own volition, and I signed his contract despite every instinct warning me that my life would never look the same again afterward.
Whether I want to deny it or not, everything female in me has been buzzing with an intense kind of electricity from the instant I walked into Jared Rush’s study the night of that poker game.
Even knowing he’s likely the worst man I could ever want doesn’t make the craving any less strong.
I’m not sure what that says about my relationship with Daniel. What that says about me as a person, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.
“Ladies, how are we doing today?” The Australian-accented, deep voice that interrupts my slide into self-inflicted misery belongs to Gavin Castille, the celebrity chef and owner of the eponymous GC restaurant. “I trust lunch was to everyone’s satisfaction?”
“Superb,” Paige purrs, leaning forward to give the handsome Aussie her full attention, along with that of her breasts, which are shown off to their best advantage in a pretty push-up bra worn beneath the gauzy material of a low-cut boho top.
Gavin’s dimpled grin says he appreciates the effort, though his professionalism remains intact. “Excellent. Glad you enjoyed.” He glances at Evelyn with a warm smile. “Nice to see you again. You know, I still appreciate you lending a hand with the catering station at the Baine charity event at the zoo last month.”
“It was my pleasure, Gavin.”
“Zoo catering?” Paige asks. “Have you picked up a new hobby we don’t know about?”
Evelyn laughs. “Avery invited me to the event when we were reviewing my lingerie designs for her upcoming wedding to Nick. Since I was there anyway, I thought I might as well make myself useful and help out.”
Gavin gives her a knowing look. “I have a feeling you had another reason to stick around that day. I ran into Gabe at the Baine Building last week. He told me you two are engaged.”
“We are.” She flashes the diamond solitaire on her left hand, beaming with unrestrained joy. “We haven’t set a date or anything yet, but I hope it’s soon.”
“Congratulations,” Gavin says. “He seems like a great guy.”
She nods. “He’s the best. I’ve never been happier.”
“Glad to hear it. When the time comes for menu planning, let me know if you’d like help. I’m sure I could come up with something special for your big day.”
“Are you serious?”
“It’d be my honor,” he says, those dimples back for a return performance as he smiles at Evelyn, then nods at Paige and me. He pauses then, his brows furrowing as his gaze lights on me. “You were here a few nights ago at dinner.”
“I was.” God, that date with Daniel seems like it happened months ago.
“Well, it’s nice to see you here again. I must be doing something right in the kitchen to bring you back so soon,” Gavin says, pride making his bright green eyes gleam.
Paige lets go of a saucy laugh. “I’ll bet you do everything right. In the kitchen and elsewhere.”
I roll my eyes, even though he seems unfazed by my friend’s blatant objectification. “Ignore her, please. Lunch was delicious.”
“I aim to please.” He taps the edge of our table. “Have a great day, ladies.”
“Oh. My. God,” Paige says once he’s gone. “Talk about delicious. Which reminds me, I really need to get laid.”
Evelyn nearly chokes on her white wine. “You’re unbelievable. Are you going for a world record, or something? I think what you really need is to find a good man and settle down.”
“That’s easy for you to say, Eve. You found yours.”
I thought I’d found mine in Daniel, too. Or maybe I wanted to believe that so much, I had myself convinced he was everything I could possibly want in a man.
Those illusions began to crack the night he brought me here for dinner, then on to Jared Rush’s poker game. As hurtful as it was to learn about Daniel’s gambling problems the way I did, it isn’t fair for me to pretend any longer that things between us can ever be what they were before.
Meeting Jared Rush changed all of that, in more ways than I want to consider.
17
MELANIE
My thoughts are still churning after we’ve finished lunch and paid the bill. As we wait for the valet to bring Evelyn’s Volvo around, a white SUV rolls up to the curb outside the restaurant. A group of three men dressed in suits on a Saturday afternoon climb out of the vehicle with another, more casually attired group wearing khakis and pastel-colored polo shirts. They’re engaged in animated conversation, lots of grins and chuckling as they gather next to the SUV while a valet jogs over to assist them.
I might only give them a passing glance, but then I notice the Crowne & Merritt Architects logo o
n the passenger door of the SUV. One of the suited men is Daniel. I quickly turn my head away from him, an impulse I can neither control nor explain.
All I know is I don’t want to see him right now. I’m not ready to deal with—
“Melanie?” His voice cuts through the traffic noise and chatter of his companions, impossible to ignore.
“Well, isn’t this some piss-poor timing,” Paige mutters under her breath from beside me, echoing the reaction going on inside my own head. “Where the hell’s our getaway car when we need it?”
“I can’t ignore him.”
Evelyn catches my troubled gaze. “You sure? Here comes my car. We can be gone in the next five seconds.”
Part of me would like nothing better than to flee the scene and not look back, but running has never been the way I handle problems. Never mind that’s what I fully intend to do where Jared Rush is concerned.
Daniel motions me over to him, a big, welcoming smile plastered across his face. “Melanie, sweetheart, come here for a minute.”
I exhale a pent-up sigh. “I’ll be right back.”
The men all turn toward me as I approach their group. Daniel hurries forward to meet me with a quick kiss on my cheek before lacing his fingers through mine.
“Gentlemen,” he says, leading me over to his colleagues. “I’d like you to meet my better half, Melanie.”
They all chuckle politely at the tired adage and bob their heads at me in greeting. Daniel wraps his arm around my waist. He’s trying to appear relaxed, but his hold on me and his grin are both too rigid to be sincere.
“We just came back from touring one of the firm’s newest projects,” he tells me. “Not only are we ahead of schedule, but it looks like we’re also coming in well under budget.”
“Congratulations.”
The elder of the two other men in suits gives me a nod as he pats Daniel’s shoulder. “Thanks to your fiancé, we’ve all got plenty of cause to celebrate today. You keep delivering the way you have been lately, son, and we’ll have no choice but to promote you to partner.”
“Thank you, Mr. Merritt.” Daniel’s tone is so deferential, I almost expect to see him bow.
“Young lady, would you care to join us for lunch and a cocktail?”
“Oh, I—”
“—She’s already eaten,” Daniel blurts over me. His anxious glance flicks to my face. “I mean, I assume you’ve already eaten with your friends.”
“Yes, I have.”
“But I’d love it if you joined us,” he hedges.
“I can’t.”
“Well, then,” Mr. Merritt says. “We’re going to head inside now. Melanie, it was a pleasure to finally meet you. We’ll have to have you both out to the house sometime. My wife is always eager to meet the significant others of the firm’s shining stars.”
Daniel inclines his head. “We’d enjoy that very much, sir.”
I can’t muster any kind of reply. All my words are clogged at the back of my throat, kept in place by the disbelief I’m trying desperately to bite back.
“My fiancé?” I gasp after the men disappear inside the restaurant. “You told your boss we’re engaged?”
“It’s no big deal,” he says in a hushed tone. “It just slipped out one day when I was talking to him. You have to understand, Crowne and Merritt is a small family firm. They care about things like this. Stability and traditional values. Appearances matter, especially in their prospective partners.”
“Do they care about the truth?”
He blows out a short breath. “I don’t understand why you’re upset over this. There’s no harm in saying we’re engaged.”
“No harm, except it’s not true and you’ve just dragged me into the lie.”
I don’t know why I’m arguing. I have no intention of spending any time with Daniel’s colleagues or their wives. I’m not even sure why I’m still standing here talking to him at all.
Maybe it was only a careless fib, a small white lie blurted out because he was nervous or thought it would win his boss’s approval. I don’t care about the hows or the whys. It’s the principle of what he did that bothers me most.
Because if he can lie about small things, how can I ever be sure he’s not lying about the big things. Things like gambling problems and enormous debts owed to Las Vegas loan sharks.
Things I’m afraid I wouldn’t discover until he has no choice but to admit them.
If not for what happened with Jared, I’d still be blindly believing I could trust anything Daniel Hathaway says.
But I can’t now.
“I’m done, Daniel.”
He frowns. “Done?” His face collapses momentarily, a look of distress, even panic, washing over him. “If I’ve upset you this much, let me fix it. I told Mr. Merritt we’re engaged, so let’s do it. Let’s get engaged.”
He says it as if the thought of marrying me is as life-changing to him as asking me out to a movie. As if the more important thing to him is propping up this lie with an even bigger one. He doesn’t want to marry me. He only wants to smooth things over for himself.
God, I’m an idiot. For days I’ve been swamped with guilt over my uninvited attraction to Jared Rush. I’ve been mentally berating myself for kissing him when I’d left things with Daniel unresolved.
Now I feel nothing. I look at this man I thought I loved and I wonder how I ever could have thought he truly cared about me.
He reaches for my hand, but I pull it back. “Shit, Melanie. Please. I can’t afford to lose you. Not right now. Not over something as stupid as this. Let me make it up to you. Marry me.”
I laugh because I can’t help it. As far as proposals go, this has got to be the lamest effort any man has ever uttered. Worse than that, I don’t believe a single word of it.
Not that it matters. I wouldn’t have said yes anyway. Not when my head has been full of doubts and misgivings about him ever since Jared exposed his first lie to me.
“My friends are waiting, Daniel. I have to go now. Goodbye.”
I turn to walk away. He ducks into my path, his body an obstacle blocking my escape.
“Melanie, wait. You don’t mean this.” There is a wildness in his eyes, an authentic fear. “I agree, we can’t have this conversation out here. I’ll come by your house later today and—”
“No.” I shake my head. “I don’t want you to do that.”
“All right. We’ll talk tomorrow, then. You just tell me where and when, and I’ll be there.”
“I don’t think you understand,” I tell him, gently, because I want there to be no mistaking what I’m saying. “I don’t want to see you anymore, Daniel. Not at my house. Not anywhere. You and I are over.”
“Mel.”
I step around him without answering. My feet carry me unhalting to the waiting Volvo where Evelyn and Paige wait for me.
“Let’s get out of here,” I murmur, sliding into the open backseat.
The weight of Daniel’s stare follows me as my friends get into the car with me, then we merge into the river of traffic and drive away.
18
MELANIE
“Honey, are you sure you’re feeling okay?” My mom eyes me with concern as I set our emptied picnic cooler down on the kitchen floor the next evening. “You haven’t seemed like yourself all day.”
“I’m fine.” I give her a mild shrug and an equally vague wave of my hand. “I just needed some time with you and Katie, that’s all. The park was nice today, wasn’t it?”
“I loved it!” My niece grins at me from her perch on one of the four chairs surrounding our little dining table in the kitchen. “When can we do go again, Aunt Mellie?”
“Soon, I hope.” I can’t resist dropping a kiss on the top of her blond head as I hand her a juice box from the fridge.
The three of us spent the whole day on a blanket under a shade tree in our favorite neighborhood green space. Mom napped and read a book off and on, while Katie and I talked and fed a group of nearly tame chipm
unks that sniffed out our lunch and came to beg for treats.
“It was a beautiful day.” Mom eases herself onto another of the chairs. She blots her forehead with a wadded-up tissue that seems to materialize from somewhere on her person the way a magician would pull a rabbit out of his hat. “Whoo, it’s a warm one, though.”
I don’t like the paleness of her face, or how easily she seemed to tire today. I asked her more than once if the sun was too much for her, but she insisted she was fine. In fact, she seemed more focused on how I was feeling, obviously homed in on my general state of distraction, even now.
“I’ll get you some water, Mom.”
I grab a glass from the cupboard and fill it from the filtered tap. She nods as she takes it from me, her hands a little shaky. The sight of her unsteady fingers brings my thoughts back to Jared and his jarring outburst just before he sent me away.
If I’m being honest with myself, it hasn’t been more than a minute since the last time he took up space in my head today.
He’ll be expecting me at Lenox Hill tomorrow morning to return to his studio for our next session. I’ll be there, but only to tell him in person that I’m breaking our agreement.
Now that I’ve had time to process my feelings after our kiss—and the startling way it ended—I’ve decided the best thing for me is to keep my distance from Jared Rush. I can’t deny I was moved to hear about his past. His hardship as a child, his drive to rise above it, struck a chord in me. I gained a new understanding of him, a compassion that makes it hard for me to turn my back on the fact that he’s a troubled, tormented man.
But I’ve already watched one explosive drunk destroy himself and nearly everyone else around him. I didn’t survive my father only to get entangled with a man who triggers every alarm bell in my system. No matter how much he intrigues me. No matter how intensely attracted I am to him.
Too bad I didn’t have this same clarity when it came to dating Daniel.
My phone chimes inside my purse, which I hung on the back of the chair across from my mom. While she finishes her glass of water, I reach into my bag and silence the cheery ringtone I’d assigned to Daniel soon after we started seeing each other.
