by Lisa Grace
***
Johnny, Vania, and Carrie are already at the table when I arrive. Vania isn’t shy and has introduced herself as my new friend. Our little group is growing. I had warned Vania not to say anything unless I bring it up. I still haven’t told her Johnny’s an angel and Carrie has no clue as to what is going on since I haven’t told her anything. I might not be able to talk privately to either Johnny or Vania today. I have to leave right after school, eat a quick dinner then come back for my TV production club meeting. I wish I could tell Johnny and Vania about Jude/Judas also going by the name Damon. I’m not sure what I should do and really need Johnny’s advice. The bell rings signaling the end of lunch. Later, I wish I had ignored the bell and talked to Johnny. Maybe things wouldn’t have ended as badly.
CHAPTER 7 - ANGEL IN THE SHADOWS
Tonight I have a meeting for our TV show which runs live tomorrow. The meeting is running at least an hour late with all the bickering between Emma and Clint on who is going to be the on-air talent for each story. They’re acting as if it is a matter of life or death. Finally, I suggest they do rock-paper-scissors for the lead story and the loser can do next week’s lead. Mrs. Hixon our advisor has already left since she was running late for picking her son up from soccer practice. All we have to do is lock up before we leave. Clint and Emma walk ahead to the parking lot where our parents are waiting to pick us up. I ask them to let my mom know I’ll be out in a few minutes as my bladder is about to burst and using the restroom is imperative before I leave.
***
It is dark outside. Leaving the building, I can see the glow from car headlights bouncing off the buildings in eerie patterns of light. The outside overhead lights are still off. They haven’t been reset for it getting dark this early. The science building blocks my view of the parking lot, so I stop and wait for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. That’s when I sense, off to my left, movement. I look over and see in the shadows the glow of a cigarette. I feel drawn toward the glow to find out who’s there. My heart starts to race as the stranger steps into a pool of light leaking from the building doors.
My heart sinks as I realize it’s Judas.
He’s as handsome as usual but I can feel his hatred rolling over me like waves in the ocean’s surf. It takes all my strength not to take a step backward from the heat of his anger. I can see he’s barely in control, but I know he can do nothing to hurt me without God’s permission.
I want to run toward my Mom’s car and safety, but then I feel foolish for not having the courage to face him. I boldly walk toward Judas and try to think of what to say. Saying hi seems too ordinary, friendly and dorky. Confronting him feels dangerous.
Before I can speak, he turns to me, tilts his head away to blow out smoke, and offers me a ghost of a smile. He speaks menacingly, “What do you think—you—could possibly say—to me?” pausing between the words. Judas superiority and disdain for me are dripping from each accentuated word.
“Why are you here?”
“Don’t you remember me?”
He looks at me and raises his eyebrows. “I’m here—for you.”
My heart sinks as I realize I’m playing right into his hands. His meeting me tonight is intentional. Judas was waiting for me. He’s not pouring on the charm the way he does for everybody else. Judas doesn’t have to maintain a façade for me. I realize now that all he wants to do is destroy me and every other mortal who happens to gain his attention. I’m disappointed and angry with myself for wanting him to be charming so I blurt out, “I know what you are, Judas. I‘m going to stop you.”
He looks down at his feet and takes another drag off his cigarette before he answers, “All men are like grass…
And all their glory is like the flowers of the field…Grass—withers…
And the flowers—fall,” with this Judas knocks his ash off his cigarette. He looks at me and continues, “I am the predator and you the prey, Mouse,” he moves slowly closer, “I am a roaring lion seeking whom I may devour.” Judas takes a step towards me and crushes his cigarette.
I’m afraid to stay but more afraid to show my fear so I stand my ground. I know he’s quoting scripture. My brain is paralyzed just thinking about how fast and strong angels are. The only thing I can hang onto right now is my faith that God is protecting me since I can’t even speak.
“I’m asking to sift you, Mouse.” He whispers in my ear. I can smell the cigarette smoke lingering on his clothes. He looks down at me and before I can react, he bends down with supernatural speed and kisses me on the lips. His lips are cold and burning. He presses them against mine so fast there is nothing I can do to stop him. There is nothing sensual behind his façade. At the same time, he puts his hands on my ribs and presses me so hard against him it takes my breath away. All this hits me within a heartbeat. I break free and run as soon as I’m aware of what’s happening. I look back over my shoulder after I’m safely in the parking lot. He’s gone.
Judas’ kiss was an attack on me. He meant to scare me by showing how much faster and stronger he is. I’m so angry with myself for even letting him get close enough to do that. What was I thinking? Keep evil far away. Judas was right, I have nothing to say to him. I need to avoid him and just concentrate on keeping others away also.
***
The next morning we have homeroom. I only have to stay five minutes to check in and then I get to go to TV production to help run our show. I get to class and stop dead in my tracks. Judas is sitting in the chair behind mine.
Mrs. Grey says, “Megan have you met Damon? He’s new to the school these last two weeks.”
Mrs. Grey assigns her students alphabetically. My last name is Laughlin, his is Lawless. My heart sinks. He planned this all along.
I look at her and say, “I have to get to television production class,” and run out the door. There’s really not much she can do about it today because she knows it’s true.
After homeroom, I get to my science class. I’m feeling a little better because we only have homeroom a few times a semester. I can handle that. Microbiology is one of my favorite classes. I love the experiments. This year we have an odd number of students so Mrs. Mack asked if I would mind not having a lab partner, which is fine with me. I’m reviewing my notes when the bell rings so I don’t look up till she begins to speak. To my horror, Judas is standing at the front of the class. Not again. This can’t be happening. School is turning into a nightmare.
“Class it looks like we have another gifted student joining us this semester. They’ve moved Damon,” Judas interrupts her, “Ma’am I prefer to be called Jude, after my Father.”
Mrs. Mack smiles and continues, “Oh, alright, Jude. They’ve moved Jude up from his regular classes into IB because of his high test scores.”
“Megan, back in seat c-six, Jude will be your lab partner. If you will kindly sit next to her in c-five. Thank you.”
I try not to look at him. I can’t believe this is happening. Judas sitting next to me everyday! I made up my mind to avoid him and now I’m put in situations where it’s not even possible. I hope Johnny’s at lunch today. I need some advice. I need moral support. I don’t think my year could get much worse. I am wrong, so wrong.
***
At lunch, Johnny and I are the first ones at the table. I only have a few minutes before Carrie and Vania join us, so I launch right into my concerns. “What am I going to do? He’s latching himself unto me and ostracizing me all at the same time.”
“Don’t worry; it’s going to get worse first,” Johnny says. I look at him like he’s crazy.
“Seriously, don’t worry. Worrying will only hurt your faith. Keep praying and ignore him. He might get tired of you if he’s not getting the reaction he wants.”
“Okay, I can do that,” I say. At least now I have a plan of action. “Should I tell Vania or Carrie about you?” I ask.
“Yes on Vania, she might need my counsel since she’s newly saved. Not yet on Carrie, the timing’s not right.”
> “Okay, thanks. What about the party?” I ask.
“We’ll go. I’ll pick you and Vania up at seven o’clock tomorrow night. Bring a Bible,” Johnny answers.
“That’s funny, because that’s exactly what Judas said to bring.”
***
After lunch, I find out Judas is also in my algebra class. At least this time I’m prepared. I totally ignore him. At least he’s only in two of my classes and home room. It could have been worse. It could have been all of them.
Out of nowhere, my cell phone rings. My teacher, Mrs. Abbot says, “Hand it over. Please get your parent to see me to get it back.”
I look at the phone number to see who called. There’s no number in the window, just the words, “C U @ Party. ” Great. We technically aren’t allowed to have cell phones on us. The teachers are okay with them as long as they’re turned off during class and out of sight. Mine was turned off. Obviously, Judas has a few tricks up his sleeve. Even if I take the battery out, I’m guessing he could still make it ring. I guess in the future I’ll have to leave it in my locker. I fold my hands and start to pray. I pray for protection and strength. Mrs. Abbott goes over a couple of concepts on the board and writes down some sample problems to work on in class and for homework. I copy them down and continue to pray. I can do my homework later. I’m going to be grounded tonight anyway after the prank Judas pulled, so I’ll have plenty of time to get it done. The rest of the time I plan on reading my Bible and praying. It’s really the only defense I have. The only way I can get to Judas. About a half an hour into praying, I look over at Judas. He definitely looks uncomfortable. I go right back to praying and try to forget about him.
***
After school, I meet up with Johnny and Vania. “I only have about five minutes before my dad gets here and I’ll probably get grounded, so Vania, Johnny is one of the good angels I told you about.”
“No way!” Vania says.
Johnny looks at her and deadpans, “Way.”
“Wow.”
“Anyway, you two might have to go to the party alone tomorrow night. I might be grounded. There’s more. Judas made my cell ring during class, and I found out he originally enrolled in school using the name Damon Vincent Lawless.”
Vania looks at me, “Wait a second, information overload. You’re saying Judas is calling himself Damon now? Not to mention Johnny’s a good angel.”
Johnny looks at Vania, “Look, I have to talk to Megan’s dad when he gets here, then I’ll give you a ride home and we can talk. Since you’re fairly new at being saved, there are some things I want you to be prepared for, and other things I want you to avoid.”
Vania just looks at Johnny in shock, “You look so normal.”
“Do you want to see my wings? That’s a joke,” Johnny says.
Vania chuckles nervously.
“That’s alright, maybe later,” Johnny answers. Now neither of us knows if he’s joking or not. Vania looks at me and I just shrug my shoulders. Except for him glowing, I’ve never seen anything else of his spiritual nature.
My dad pulls up. Johnny opens the door. “Hello Mr. Laughlin, I’m Johnny. Megan had her cell phone confiscated by a teacher today after it rang in class. I forgot about the ring function. I’m sorry sir.”
I stand there in amazement. Technically Johnny didn’t lie. He does have the power to turn the ringer off.
My dad turns off the car, looks at Johnny and says, “That’s okay son. We all make mistakes. So Megan who do we go see to get your phone back?”
We all head over to Mrs. Abbott’s classroom and get the phone back. Johnny even apologizes to her for the class being interrupted. She accepts his apology graciously and gives my dad the phone. Before we know it, I’m on my way home with Dad, and Vania is getting a ride home with Johnny.
That evening I text Seth and do my homework. I’m nervous about the party tomorrow night. I stay up later than I should, playing out different scenarios in my mind of all the things that could go wrong. I really don’t want to go,. but lives and souls are at stake. I’m thankful Johnny is going to be with us. He’s a show of God’s strength, a physical reminder that we are not alone.
I pretend I’m telling my parents the truth. “Bye Mom and Dad, just going out to battle some dark angels and save some souls. See you later.” That makes me laugh. The phone rings and I jump.
I pick it up, “Hey it’s Vania.”
“Hi.”
“Johnny wants you to dress Goth for tomorrow night. I guess word has gotten around to beat you up if you are seen anywhere near the rave. They already have a backup place scheduled in case you tell the cops. If we dress you up, do the makeup and the hair color, you’ll pretty much be invisible.”
“Okay,” I say. Now I’m worried. I’ve never had somebody want to beat me up before.
Vania continues, “I also got us some glow in the dark pacifiers and jelly bracelets so we’ll blend in. Don’t worry I’m coating the bracelets with superglue so they’re really strong.”
“I have no clue what you’re talking about. It’s like your speaking a different language,” I say.
“I know.” I hear a heavy sigh. “The pacifiers mean you’re into ecstasy, that’s a drug, some of the kids just suck on lollipops. The glow sticks, same thing.” Vania continues, “The jelly bracelets stand for which sex acts you’re willing to do. It’s all a big naughty game. Some of the girls even wear lipsticks to show what they will do.”
“I’m not wearing the bracelets,” I say. I draw the line at that.
“Okay. No problem. Well just say you have a boyfriend.”
“I do. His name’s Seth. He lives up in Jacksonville,” I answer defensively.
“Okay. Okay. I forgot to ask Johnny how far undercover. I guess some of it is a little too far,” Vania says.
“Johnny did say we should get together early tomorrow so I can clue you in on some of the hand signals. It’s so noisy in these places that there’s a kind of code. We’ll make up some of our own too.” Vania decides to come to my house tomorrow around noon. She’ll either catch a bus or have her mom drop her off.
In the morning, I get up and get started on my chores first thing. Feeding the pets, unloading the dishwasher, vacuuming, and dusting the house. I throw my dirty clothes in the laundry room. I’m all set by the time Vania shows up. I wonder how I’m going to explain my new look to my mom.
Vania says, “You write reports for the school TV show. Tell her you’re doing a report on the life of a Goth.”
I feel stupid, “Oh yeah, that makes sense.”
Vania comes equipped with a big military duffle bag. She’s cool and confident today. The first thing we work on is my hair. Vania takes out a bottle of “spray on” pink hair. She sprays it on then teases my hair and puts in some hair gel. She teases it again on to the top of my head. Vania gets out a ponytail holder and ties it on top of my head. Now I’m sprouting a waterfall. She teases and gels my hair some more to get a few spikes sticking up and out of my waterfall, then hits my hair again with the pink spray. She opens a jar of glitter, mixes it with the hair gel and glitters my spikes. Vania then takes a metal ring and puts it half in and half out of my nose. She presses it a little to hold. Now I look like my nose is pierced.
I barely recognize myself. We try on some of her clothes and settle on one of my pink tops ripped in the right places by Vania. She layers a chain mail looking necklace that almost covers my whole front. I finish up with one of her black skirts and ripped fishnet stockings. The skirt is one of her longer ones she wears to school, not the short skirts she wears out clubbing. We finish with a pair of my black sneakers. She has a long metal chain for a drooping belt that I have to pin in place. She has several oversized safety pins that she positions in the right places.
Next, Vania gives me metal bangles for my arms and rings for my fingers. She also paints my nails black. The only thing left to put on is my makeup.
Vania helps me to put on fake eyelashes with diamonds.
I feel like I’m wearing spiders over my eyes. She does a Cleopatra look on my eyes using black and hot pink. She adds a little black to my checks and lips.
I don’t recognize me at all. I practice moving the way Vania teaches me along with some of the facial expressions and dance moves.
“Some last advice, don’t drink anything anybody offers. It could contain GHB the date-rape drug, which is odorless and tasteless. Bring your own soda or water in a bottle with a cap. Don’t ever set it down and leave it alone. It’s better just to wear it or wait.”
Vania herself is wearing an old-fashioned metal canteen. At first, I had mistaken it for a purse. We eat a quick dinner of frozen pizza that I bake in the oven. I doctor it up with some extra cheese. My mom gets home from shopping and sticks her head in the kitchen. “Can you girls tell Megan I’m home.”
I look right at her and say, “Sure.” She leaves the room and we burst out laughing. I get up from the table and say, “Mom it’s me!”
“Megan, what are you doing?” My mom’s look of shock is priceless. No wonder some kids rebel if this is the reaction they get. It’s kind of cool to be able to shock the parents who think they know you so well.
“I’m going to write a report on what it’s like to be a Goth for a night,” I say, “Can you take a picture of me to go with the report?” I think I may as well turn this experience into a homework assignment. I can kill two birds with one stone.
Mom gets her camera and takes a picture of me and then one with Vania.
“I’m glad your dad isn’t home to see this. Try not to give him a heart attack if he gets home while you’re dressed like that tonight.” Dad had taken Max to a karate tournament. They probably won’t be home until after us. My curfew is still ten-thirty, which Johnny knows.
Johnny pulls up at seven o’clock on the dot. We load into his car. Vania sits up front and I kind of cower in the back. I’ve never not been welcome somewhere before so this is a new experience for me. I’ve brought my King James Bible and my NIV version. I tell Johnny, “I wasn’t sure which one you’d want. Old English or new.”
