"As you wish Darl,” and with that we headed off to save my Scott.
We arrived at the police station at 12.15pm, time was running out. I thanked the driver and dragged Emmett out from the back seat not worrying about hiding the handcuffs any longer. The driver looked shocked, but I had no time to explain. I flung open the front door of the police station and yelled, “Scott! Scott? Where are you?”
It was only a small country police station. Scott had been put in the room behind the front desk for questioning, he could see me through the one-way window, but I couldn't see anything. An officer approached the front desk and saw myself and Emmett in handcuffs. "Ok what is going on here?” he asked in confusion.
“What is going on here, I will tell you what is going on here. Firstly, let me teach you the difference between a Scottish accent and an Irish Accent.” At that moment I told Emmett to say, hello I’m Emmett from Ireland.
Emmett did as he was told. “Hello, I’m Emmett from Ireland.”
“Now if you would ever so kindly go and bring Scott out please,” I asked in my scary assertive mother voice. Another officer did as he was told and bought him out, “Scott please say ‘Hi I’m Scott from Scotland.’ Scott did as he was told. Looking confused as to why he was saying this.
“Now as you can see here officers, we have one Scottish man and one Irish man present. Now Scott please remove that lipstick from your ear from when I kissed you before in the car.” I was still very impressed at the lasting coverage this lipstick had and how it was still on his ear. Scott did as he was told once again.
“Now Emmett, please remove your birthmark from you ear lobe.” Emmett tried to rub it off but of course it stayed there. “Ladies and Gentleman, or should I say Officers of Biboohra, I hand deliver you no pun intended” I said looking down at our handcuffed hands, “the Irish jewellery thief of Cairns.”
Emmett concluded our little performance and said “Yes, that would be me,” he said in very monotone voice and handed himself over. “Now please unlock these cuffs, Scott and I have to be somewhere in just under 1 hour and our track record is not great when it comes to getting to places on time as it is, anything could happen between now and then.”
The officer that was behind the desk said, "Oh, I’m sorry, that key is lost. We can’t unlock you." My disappointed mum look reappeared on my face, which made the officer nervous, "I'm only joking, here, I will unlock you now so you and Scott can be on your way” the officer sarcastically said.
With that, Scott and I left Emmett at the station, I wished him luck with his new chapters, as Scott was pulling me away out the door and said, “It's never too late to change, You can always edit a bad page; you cannot edit a blank one.” I didn't stop there, I continued with my insightfulness, a little louder now though as we were getting further from the door of the station. “A new chapter of your life is about to begin; may the luck of the Irish be with you.”
Emmett gave me a little smile and said, “Feck off you.”
Scott and I headed off to the film set with nothing but the ripped, dirty clothes we had on our backs.
I had to get the last word in after this whole situation so I proudly informed Scott, “I told you so, if you had only listened to me in the first place. More to the point, what have we learnt from this situation Scott?”
Scott replied, “Never to pick up a random Irish hitchhiker who looks Zoomer!”
“Zoomer? Please translate your Scottish slang again?”
Scott explained. “Zoomer is someone of a nervous disposition.”
“Well, as long as we can both agree to never pick up another hitchhiker ever again, whether they are Zoomer or not, and most especially an Irish hitchhiker.” We gave each other a handshake and sealed the deal with a kiss on the lips.
Chapter Eleven
2pm fast approaching
Once we were back on the main street of Biboohra, I asked Scott "Which way now?"
Scott replied, “Well, I asked the officer at the station where they were building the new film set. He told me it's the first farm out of town. There is a dirt road we could use if we were driving, otherwise we could cut through a paddock and across a stream if we were on foot, which would get us there faster.”
“Right then what are we waiting for?” I said.
At that very moment I saw how badly Scott’s sunburn was from driving out here. His poor Scottish skin got a real pounding. “Oh, Scott we need to find you some Aloe Vera to rub on that sunburn of yours. I will keep my eye out if we pass any.”
"Oh, how very Claire of you!" Scott said jokingly.
"Well, I do try." I replied
"Aye you're not wrong there Sassenach,” Scott said with a laugh.
“Well she is an extraordinary person, I mean character,” I corrected myself.
We approached the paddock; the farm entrance should only be a few minutes away on the other side of the paddock, then it's just across a stream and up the track to get to the film sets main office.
As we approached the paddock to climb the fence a sudden wave of emotion went through me. I felt I couldn't go any further, my feet refused to move. I fell to my knees in a flood of panic. Scott suddenly turned around when he noticed I had stopped moving. It was now 1:30pm, only 30 mins left to sign that contract.
Scott crouched down next to me, worried and confused. "Letticia, are you ok, have you been bitten by another snake, what's happened?”
Tears started to fall from my eyes down my cheeks and dripped into a puddle onto the grass beneath me. “No, and what do you mean another snake, there has never been a snake to start with. Oh, Scott I’m sorry, everything has just caught up with me. I was so worried about you alone in that police station. I didn't know if I was going to be able to get you out." I said.
Scott replied “You were worried about me? Well, I was even more worried about you out in the bush alone with that Snake Emmett, I didn't know what he was going to do to you.”
"Well I will tell you what I did to him, I pounced and tackled him in the shallows of the water and handcuffed him to me with my very bare hands. It took all my strength, but I knew it was the only way I was ever going to get you out. These last few days have been an emotional roller coaster" I said to Scott.
Scott embraced me with his strong Scottish arms and comforted me in a way no other man has ever been able to do before. "Letticia I’m here now. You and I are a force to be reckoned with when we are together. As long as we are beside one another and love each other we can get through anything. Now, I know we are only minutes away from the office but I’m not promising that no other obstacles are going to get in our way. Going by our track record the odds are against us, but whatever happens from here on in, and until we sign that contract, we have each other’s backs. You and I are meant for each other. Yes, we attract unwanted dramas but boy, the adventures you have put me through are well worth it. Now let's finish this one and get that contract signed.” He put out his hand to pull me up off the grass.
We both looked a right mess. I was still soaking from the handcuffing episode in the water with Emmett, my shorts that had been green were now completely brown from a mixture of muddy water and dirt. Scott was half red, half white with a completely ripped singlet and his cargo shorts didn't look much better. But, all else aside, we were still alive and about to sign the contract of a lifetime, despite our appearance.
We did have more professional and presentable clothes in our bags that we had planned to change in to once we got to Biboohra, but that didn't go to plan thanks to Emmett.
As I got to my feet Scott said, "After you Sassenach."
"Oh, how very Jamie of you Scott.” I joked.
We got to the fence that we needed to climb over so we could cut across the paddock. Scott decided to climb first. As he put his hand on the wire to pull himself up and over his whole body shook and a strong force threw him back causing him to collapse to the ground holding his hand. "Hells Bells, it’s an electric fence, and a powerful
one at that" he said. He held his hand with the other in pain. “It went right through my hand, it's gone all numb I can hardly move it,” he complained.
"Why on earth have they got an electric fence, the Paddock is empty." I said to Scott.
“It’s a mystery to me, but never mind, the feeling in my hand will come back soon enough, let’s just keep moving." Scott replied.
Just then I saw a wooden gate. "Scott there is a locked wooden gate just down there, we can get over that way." So we made our way to the gate. I climbed over first so that I could help Scott over with his one and only working hand. As I put my hand out to help Scott over, he lost his balanced and tumbled toward me. His whole body weight came crashing in to me resulting in both of us falling to the ground with Scott beside me. As we landed we felt something warm and squishy beneath us. The smell was revolting, causing us both to gag. We quickly discovered what we were sitting in fresh cow poo. I screamed with disgust. I was about to throw up but Scott knew there was no time for that, so he pulled me up and said “Forget about it Letticia we have to keeping moving.”
As we approached the middle of the paddock something was bothering me. As logic took over, I was thinking, that poo was warm, but how could it be warm when there are no animals anywhere to be seen? There must be animals in here somewhere. Just then my logic was proven correct. A huge highlander bull came charging towards us from the direction we were heading in. Scott was off in dreamland looking the other way.
"Scott, Highlander, Highlander!” I yelled.
Scott looked at me and said, “Letticia now is not the time for games, why are you yelling out our secret danger code word?”
“Highlander!” I pointed in the direction that oh so mighty beast of an animal was coming from. “That's why” I answered Scott in a frightened tone.
Scott started giggling, briefly forgetting about the immediate danger we both found ourselves in. Instead laughing at the irony of it all. “Well fancy that, Highlander is our code word for danger and the danger we are in right now is caused by an actual Highlander.”
“Scott, now is not the time for this” I said with panic.
“Well, in that case it's best we run Letticia.” Scott said emphatically. We ran all the way back to the wooden gate as fast as we could. I’m sure Scott could have run faster but he stayed behind me like a true gentleman should. As I approached the gate I leapt over it first. As Scott got to the gate, only seconds behind me, the bull had nudged him over. "Hells Bells, that's going to leave a bruise” he said.
We lay on our backs in the grass catching our breath. The bull paced back and forth on the other side of the fence in frustration as he didn't get the satisfaction of bowling us down. Emotion took over. We both started to laugh and sort of cry at the same time out of pure relief. We had both been terrified.
"There goes that obstacle you were talking about Scott." I said. We were still on our backs catching our breath when a shadow blocked the sun which had been streaming down onto our cow poo covered bodies. We opened our eyes and were presented with Clive.
Clive slow clapped his hands several times then said "Now that was entertaining if I say so myself. The highlander didn't get you but I shall. Well, well, well, what do we have here?” He stood there holding our backpacks, the same ones Emmett had sold to him earlier. “Looks like you two could benefit from a shower and a change of clothes before you go and sign that important contract. Lucky I have two bags of clothes. Let me just get them for you.” He proceeded to open the bags to hand us over our clean clothes. Why was he being so nice? I thought I smelt a rat, Scott on the other hand didn't.
"Thanks Clive we really appreciate that.” Scott said.
“No worries mate. Here you go.” And with that he tipped the contents of both our bags right into the pile of cow poo beside his foot. Then he picked up a stick and pushed our clothes all around in it like he was stirring a bowl of soup.
I glanced at Scott, the rage forming in his eyes was unmistakable. He had been pushed to his limits today and Clive was going to be put in his place by my Scotsman. He was about to Jamie Fraser him, I knew it, I even encouraged him. "Do it Scott, put him in his place once and for all."
Scott curled his badly sunburned, electric shocked hand into a fist and punched Clive right in his nose. Clive fell to the ground holding his bloody nose in pain. Scott followed him down onto the muddy grass, clutching at his wounded hand in pain.
I picked Scott up from the ground, as he said “I think my hand is officially broken, I have never punched anybody in my life.”
Scott was starting to feel sorry for Clive. “Leave him Scott, we have to go.” I ordered.
We ran, following the fence line around the outside of the paddock, determined to avoid the Highlander bull at any cost. Scott announced "Well Letticia, looks like I finally had my first encounter with a real snake, in the form of Clive, and I won. "
I laughed. “You know what Scott, I think you just did, and he looked like a deadly king brown snake at that.”
Chapter Twelve
Film set Action
We finally had the Film set office in view. The set was almost built, we had not been told much about what movie was getting made, but by the looks of it, it was a historical period feature, with the main dirt street that run through the middle of the town containing period like building along both side. Each building had a sign on the door, I read them out loud as we walked passed them. There was a Bank, Blacksmith, Hotel, Barber, Church, School, there was even a Saloon with swinging doors.
“Have we just time travelled back in time Scott?” I asked with excitement.
“You know what Letticia, I think we have.”
Forgetting about our time Schedule we started playing make believe on this incredible film Set that was deserted with nobody in sight.
“Do you care for a drink in the Saloon, Milady?” Scott said as he bowed and took off his imaginary top hat.
“Don't mind if I do. Lead the way my good sir.” I replied. And with that we swung open the Saloon doors, Scott went behind the bar and poured me a pretend Pimms and a Pretend Whisky for him using his only good hand which proved to be difficult even if it was an imaginary drink. Scott looked over his shoulder and saw a staircase that lead up from the bar to the upstairs bedrooms.
“Sassenach, do you care to join me upstairs?”
“Of course, lead the way.” I said. We walked up the stairs hand in hand with Scott taking the lead. When we got to the top, we realised it actually didn’t lead us anywhere. For a split-second Scott and I had forgotten we were on a film set and we thought we were actually back in the 1700’s.
Once reality had set in and our pretend play was over, we remembered the deadline for the contract. “Hells Bells, what’s the time?” Scott asked. I looked at my watch which was luckily waterproof and the only thing on me that was still in top order and working.
I replied “1.55pm.” We had 5 minutes to find the office and sign that contract. I was sure Clive wasn't far behind if we failed. Scott kept his sore hand protected up against his chest. I could tell he was in pain, but he tried not to show it. We ran out of the Saloon still covered in Cow poo, dirt and sweat but that was the last thing on our minds at that very moment. We could see the office, it was located at the very end of the set. We ran down the middle of the dirt main street, I could just imagine a standoff with two cowboys being performed down the street we ran down. It looked and felt so real.
I had to get Scott to reassure me. “Scott are you sure we haven’t just time travelled back in time?” I ask him.
He laughed, “It feels like we have but I assure you we have not.” We finally approached the office. It was a shipping container office but one of those fancy ones that looked high end and welcoming. It was very funky inside with an industrial feel to it. Filming was scheduled to take place for the next 6 months, so they obviously decided to create a comfortable place for the next 6 months to work in.
Scott and I were filthy, tir
ed and smelly. We were on our last legs. We almost collapsed through the door when we entered and were greeted by Troy the Human Resource manager for the whole Production. The look on his face when he saw us was a mixture of confusion, disgust from the smell, and pure entertainment of it all.
“Troy,” he said, as he put his hand out to introduce himself. Scott was unable to move his hand to shake his back due to serve sunburn and just punching a guy out with his fist, so I pushed his hand aside and took hold of Troy's hand instead.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Letticia and this in Scott.”
“Welcome,” Troy said.
“Thank you, please do excuse our appearances we have had quite the adventure to get here on time.” I said.
Troy looked interested and asked us to take a seat and tell him about how we got to be in his office in such a state. Scott jumped in and said, “Oh no we wouldn't want to bother you with all that.”
Troy corrected him and said “Yes please do bother me with all of that. I would love to hear all about it. I must tell you I was pre-warned by a very reliable source that had recommended you that I would no doubt be presented with a grand entrance from you two and you didn't fail to disappoint. Now I would like to hear all about it.”
So, with this demand in place Scott started, “Well it all started last night in Cairns. Clive from Silver Services tried to catch us and lock us away somewhere so we would miss the contract signing deadline at 2pm. After a big chase on foot throughout Cairns central we finally lost him. Then the next day we came across a random Irish man that was hitchhiking on the side of the road heading out to Biboohra. Even though Letticia warned me not to pick him up I still did. It turned out he was a wanted man for robbing a Jewellery store. A police officer approached us as we must of looked dodgy just stopped on the side of the road even though our car had broken down and the officer found the bags of Jewellery in the back seat of our car while Emmett was off releasing his bladder. The officer thought I had stolen the jewellery so took me in for questioning, Leaving Letticia on the side of the road with our broken down rental car and a fugitive on the run.”
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