“No, I’m going to stay.”
“Okay.” She was confused. “I thought Jordan was going to pick you up at Lori’s dorm?”
“That was the plan, but I think I’m going to wait here for him.” Tessa had never experienced Jordan after a loss, but she wanted to be there for him. Hopefully seeing her waiting by his truck would be a pleasant surprise.
“Are you sure? It could take an hour before he comes out.”
Tessa wasn’t. She wanted to be there for him, but maybe Jordan wanted some time to himself. If he did, Tessa told herself that her feelings would not be hurt. She would walk back to the dorm and let him have it.
Even as she made the decision, her stomach twisted in uneasiness. Praying she had made the right choice, Tessa told Lindy, “Yes, you can walk back. If something changes, I’ll text you. Otherwise, I’ll see you at the party?”
“Yeah, see you there.”
As they hugged goodbye, Lindy whispered in her ear, “He’s pretty lucky. You know that, right?”
Tessa pulled back and smiled ruefully. “Let’s hope he thinks so.”
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Chapter 29
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It had been an hour and fifteen minutes. With every noise that pierced the still air, Tessa yanked her head up from her phone, searching for Jordan. She was sitting on the curb by his truck. Tessa needed to gauge his reaction when he saw her, which meant she needed to see him before he saw her.
This time her sensitive ears were on point. Tessa heard footsteps and voices getting closer. She jumped up, putting her phone in her pocket and wiping her sweaty hands on her jean skirt as waited for Jordan to notice her.
Tessa shifted her weight from side to side as he finally got close enough to see her. He halted and stared. She couldn’t tell if he was mad or glad, so she lamely put up her hand and waved.
Jordan smiled, and a breath whooshed out of Tessa. Deion put a hand on his shoulder and said something she couldn’t hear before he walked toward another car.
Tessa’s attention returned to Jordan as he systematically scanned her body before landing on the number four jersey she was wearing. When he lifted his eyes back up to hers, she could see the banked desire behind the tiredness. Jordan’s voice deepened as he walked toward her. “Nice jersey.”
She threw her arms around his solid middle. “It’s my favorite shirt.”
He folded Tessa into him, and they just stood there for a few moments. She lifted her head from under Jordan’s chin and softly asked, “Are you okay?”
Jordan tilted his head to stare down at her, not saying anything. Tessa saw the defeat. “I wasn’t sure if you would want me here or not, but I wanted to do something for you. I just wasn’t sure what. I can leave if you would rather be by yourself or with your team.”
He reached down, cupping Tessa’s ass and lifting her off the ground. She crossed her ankles behind Jordan’s back as he pushed her against his truck.
Her skirt rode up, and Jordan reached down and pushed it up more. When she felt his hardness pushing against the spot between her legs, her breath caught before accelerating. It was the only sound between them.
She was captivated by the burning intensity coming from Jordan. Without looking away from her, his hands left her waist. They moved toward her exposed ass. Tessa knew he was waiting for her to stop him, and she knew she should since they were in public. But she was enthralled with the alpha man before her, and she shook as she waited for what would come next.
And more importantly, she sensed Jordan needed this. With her heart pounding in anticipation, she didn’t say a word. When his calloused hands reached her bare skin, she watched as realization dawned on him. His hands stopped like he was giving his brain a chance to process that Tessa’s ass wasn’t covered.
“Fuuuck, Tessa.”
Her insides leaped at Jordan’s tortured response. In the blink of an eye his intensity was back, and he drilled her with his eyes.
“You’d better not have been sitting in the student stands with no fucking underwear on.”
She didn’t have to answer because Jordan was moving his hands down, and when his finger felt the lacy edge of her underwear his next comment was heated. “A thong? I’ll be seeing this later.”
Tessa couldn’t answer. She was suspended in time, focused on what Jordan was going to do next. When he lightly brushed over her clit, she shuddered and arched her hips.
He slipped his hand under the lace, and Tessa breathed out a moan when his finger slid into her waiting wetness.
“Jesus, Tessa, you’re fucking soaked.”
She registered the awe in Jordan’s voice. Using her hands behind his neck as leverage, she ground herself into his hardness and breathlessly begged, “I want you in me. Please, Jordan, it’s been so long.”
She could see the flush working its way up to his face and the ticking in his jaw as he tried to hold back, but Tessa wasn’t having any of it.
“I can feel your cock. It’s pulsating with desire. Think how good it would make both of us feel if you were pounding it into me.”
Jordan worked his hand between them to slide his zipper down as Tessa rode high on the success of breaking down his resistance. Her whole body screamed with anticipation. With one movement, Jordan pulled her thong to the side and impaled her.
Tessa gasped, and he stopped. “Is this what you wanted, Tessa? You wanted to be full of my cock?”
She was still trying to catch her breath, so all she could do was gasp yes.
“You have it, and I’m not going to take it easy on you.”
Tessa locked her legs around his waist and hung on as Jordan slammed back into her. It felt so good to have him inside her again, and she threw her head back and let every sensation rush through her.
He kept up a relentless pace, and Tessa met it. It didn’t take long before she felt her body locking up. She buried her head in Jordan’s shoulder and screamed out her release. Through her orgasmic haze Tessa was vaguely aware of his quickening pace and then release.
Eventually Jordan lowered her gently to the ground and pulled her skirt back in place. She stood there like a rag doll. Then he drew Tessa to him. The peace and contentment she had been missing for so long were back.
Slowly the realization that there was an unfamiliar wetness between her legs filtered into Tessa’s mushy brain. When her mind clicked on, she stiffened in horror.
Her body was so rigid with shock that she barely managed to lift her hands and push on Jordan’s chest. It was only because he had already felt her tense and was pulling away himself that it worked.
Tessa lifted her stricken eyes to Jordan and strangled out, “You didn’t wear a condom.”
She watched through blurry eyes as his own eyes bulged out of his head. He stepped away from her before exploding, “Fuck!”
He started pacing in front of her, alternating between pulling at his hair and fisting his hands at his sides. Hugging herself, Tessa watched as she tried to remember the last time she’d had her period.
Eventually Jordan’s agitated, angry pacing slowed, and his feet came into Tessa’s line of vision. When he cupped her cheeks, some of her shock lifted away. Jordan tilted her head up, and she slid her eyes closed. She wasn’t brave enough to find what she might see on his face.
Jordan wiped her tears away with his thumbs and then softly but firmly said, “Tessa.”
Taking a stuttered breath to gather her courage, Tessa opened her eyes. Jordan’s gaze was intense but not angry.
“What are we going to do?” Her voice broke.
He looked deeper as if trying to get into her brain and finally asked, “How do you feel about the morning-after pill?”
How did she feel about it? Tessa didn’t know much about it, but with her phone, she could find out. Jordan interrupted her whirling thoughts.
“I can’t have a baby now, Tessa. No one can know. It would damage my NBA prospects and my future.”
Tes
sa closed her eyes to cover her shattering soul. She’d always known this wasn’t forever, but to hear him talk about how it would damage his future without any thought of hers was telling.
It seemed that she didn’t really have any other choice. She took a shaky inhale and then another until she was actually fortified enough to speak.
“Okay. Do you know where we can get it?”
The relief that spread across Jordan’s face was another dagger. He got out his phone and started doing the research Tessa should be doing but she didn’t think she could right now.
“It’s an over-the-counter drug, so we should be able to get it at a local CVS.”
Tessa nodded and robotically got into the truck. The air was tense as both of them were lost in the disastrous situation.
When the truck came to a stop at the curb, Tessa looked around confused. “Why are we here?”
There wasn’t a CVS or pharmacy anywhere close to where Jordan had parked. He swallowed hard and then reached across to take one of her hands. His worried but steady gaze put her on alert.
“Jordan?”
Without releasing Tessa’s eyes or hand, Jordan spoke softly. “The CVS is a couple of blocks down the street.”
Horror dawned on her. He wanted her to do this by herself. She pulled her hand from his and clasped her hands together in her lap.
“I promise I’m doing this to protect us both.” Jordan’s words sounded like they were wrenched from him.
Tessa shrunk into herself.
“If I’m recognized it will be splashed across the papers, and I don’t think either of us wants that.”
He was right. But now she had to walk into the store by herself to find and buy the pill. She buried her resentment as she nodded and opened her door.
Walking there, getting the package, and walking back were all a blur. Tessa wordlessly opened the box in the same numb state and swallowed the pill. Eventually she looked over at Jordan and registered his tortured expression.
“I’m sorry, Tessa. I won’t let this happen again.”
He reached across and hugged her. She was still numb, but the familiar comfort of Jordan’s arms and the sincere regret she heard in his voice helped a little.
He pulled away and looked down at her. “Are you okay?”
“I will be.” And she would. This was just a blurb in time, and right now, she wanted to move on. Forget this happened. Forget the hollowness spreading through her.
“What do you want to do?” Jordan asked.
“I want to go to the party,” Tessa said flatly.
His eyebrows flew up. “You do?”
“I do. I think you need to be with your team, and I need a distraction.”
“Are you sure?” Jordan asked.
She didn’t want to go home or to his home and be sad. “Yes.”
Jordan’s eyes lit up, and he turned on the engine. “Well then, let’s go.”
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The party was a mistake. Tessa had failed to remember that he would be the life of the party, and she . . . well, wouldn’t be. When they had first arrived, Jordan had gripped her hand like he was scared she was going to make a run for it.
The first group stopped them ten feet after they had come through the door and shoved beers in their hands. Each time they took a couple of steps farther into the room, another group came up and treated Jordan like a long-lost war hero.
Tessa gave up trying to stay by his side. Her mind wasn’t at the party. It was back at the CVS. People tried to talk to her, but she had no desire to pretend she wanted to be here. She didn’t even have the gumption to give fake smiles. After telling Jordan she was going to the bathroom, Tessa drifted away.
Two hours later, still carrying the same beer that had been shoved in her hand when they had walked in, Tessa was getting angry with Jordan. She tried not to be selfish, but her patience was wearing thin. It had been at least an hour since she’d seen him.
For the first hour, she had mindlessly watched him and several of his teammates analyze the game they’d just lost. With every angry expletive about the game, Jordan took a gulp of beer. Every once in a while he lifted his head and searched her out, silently asking if she was okay.
It made her heart beat a little harder and a little faster, momentarily clearing the numbness. After her small smile, Jordan was reassured. He returned his attention to the group surrounding him, and her haze of indifference settled back in.
Tessa thought nothing besides Jordan’s smiles could penetrate her numbness. Then women appeared in his circle. When they started putting their grabby hands on him, she locked her muscles to stop herself from marching over and giving them a piece of her mind. It wasn’t the first time her hackles were raised when other women were around Jordan, but this was the first time Tessa wanted to punch them in the face.
At first Jordan ignored them, which pacified her for a while. Then the women got bolder. Their touches lingered and in more places. Her simmering blood boiled. Just when Tessa was ready to burst out of her corner and turn into a ninja, Jordan gave them his full attention. The thunderous look on his face would have made her creep away. It didn’t work for these women. They just looked at him adorningly. Then Jordan bit out something that made his admirers blanch.
Finally the girls seemed to catch on that he didn’t want to be bothered. Tessa settled deeper into her corner, waiting for Jordan’s eyes to find hers. Only his eyes sought out hers less and less.
The house had become so packed with bodies that Tessa felt like she was at a rock concert. It was even harder to keep track of Jordan through everyone. An hour later she wasn’t even sure he was still there, and she tried talking herself down from her growing anger.
Tessa knew he needed this time with his team after their devastating loss, but she also didn’t want to be a doormat. She’d had a rough night as well, and right now she felt like one of those girls she’d always despised. The ones who only lived for their men and not themselves.
With that depressing thought, Tessa pushed herself out of the corner and stopped short when she almost ran into Lindy. She threw her arms around her, the emotions she’d buried coming to the forefront with her friend's appearance. Lindy laughed and returned the zealous hug with a greeting.
“Hey, chica!”
When Tessa didn’t drop her arms, Lindy pulled away enough to see her face. “What’s wrong?”
Her emotions bubbled in her chest, but she couldn’t share them here. “I’m just happy to see you. You know how much I hate parties.”
Lindy studied her face and then narrowed her eyes. “Where’s Jordan?”
It was like Lindy could see into Tessa’s brain and understood her frustration.
She shrugged, but she couldn’t look Lindy in the eye. “I lost track of him.”
“He ditched you?”
The tightness in Lindy’s voice made Tessa look back at her. “No.”
Seeing the disbelief on her face, she rushed on. “He didn’t. I was by him, but I didn’t feel like being the perfect girlfriend tonight. I went to the bathroom, and we lost track of each other.”
“What are you doing now?”
Lindy studied Tessa intently, waiting for her answer. She swallowed down her emotion and answered, “I’m going home.”
“By yourself,” she added softly.
Tears sprang to Tessa’s eyes. “Yeah, by myself.”
Lindy wrapped her in a hug and said in her ear, “Not anymore. I’ll go with you.” Tessa squeezed her friend and stepped back.
“You don’t have to,” she forced herself to say, even if her heart wasn’t in it. She needed her friend right now, but Lindy had just gotten to the party.
“I want to. Let’s go.”
A sad but grateful smile came from Tessa. “Thank you. I’m going to text Jordan and let him know.”
Lindy nodded and waited for her to send the message. She waited a long minute, holding her breath for a reply from him. When it was appa
rent she wouldn’t get a response, Tessa swallowed the lump in her throat and followed Lindy to their car.
Once they were driving, Lindy looked over and quietly asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Tessa shook her head. “No, I really don’t.”
She could feel her stare, but she just replied, “Okay.”
The whole way home Tessa alternated between looking out the passenger window and at her phone, but she never heard from Jordan.
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Chapter 30
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The response Tessa had waited for finally came at eleven a.m. the next day. It didn’t alleviate the sadness permeating through her whole body.
J: Did you get home okay?
Not an apology, but at least he was worried about Tessa, albeit ten hours after she had gotten home.
T: Yes
Her phone rang. It was Jordan. Tessa tightened her hand around it, not sure if she wanted to answer. She wasn’t ready to talk to Jordan, but if she didn’t answer he might come over. Tessa was definitely not prepared to see him.
“Hello.”
“I’m sorry about last night, Tessa.”
It was the apology she had wanted, but it didn’t give her any relief from the emotional weight she’d been carrying since last night.
“Okay,” she said warily.
Silence. Tessa and Jordan had been through different stages in their relationship, but this tension-filled silence was a first.
She heard his heavy sigh. “Can I come to get you and take you to breakfast?”
“It’s eleven. Isn’t it late for breakfast?” Tessa asked matter-of-factly.
A rueful laugh came from Jordan. “It is, but this is as early as I could manage to get up.”
“Are you okay?” A trickle of guilt ran through Tessa. Maybe she should have stayed and made sure he was okay.
Another laugh, this time derisive. “Only you, Tessa.”
Tessa wasn’t sure what that meant, so she stayed quiet and eventually Jordan continued. “I’m a complete asshole, and you’re worried about me. Please let me come see you. I need to make this right.”
Breaking Tessa: A College Sport Romance Page 20
