“Yes. I know how it looks Alexander but it was merely a misunderstanding. Camilla is a slut. She wanted exactly what she got, she just got scared.”
“Uh huh,” I grunted. The longer I sat in that man’s presence, the more agitated I got. “I just don’t get how you can see through her so well. All I see when I look at her is a beautiful, smart woman. Nothing else.”
“She is certainly beautiful. God, she is…” His words trailed off and he grew distant as if he were imagining her right then and there. “I’m just more skilled when it comes to women. Age and wisdom, remember that.”
“I guess.”
“I know you’re not happy about the way things turned out but I’m more than willing to hand her over to you once I see my sons.”
“Okay, dad. Deal,” I nodded in an effort to get him the fuck out of my sight. A smile spread across his face, deepening the lines in his cheeks.
“Wonderful, Alexander. Let me know the moment you get out and I will come get you.”
“Are you sure?” I raised a brow curiously.
“Of course. You’re my son. Your brother sure as hell isn’t going to help you out, is he? No. He’s the reason you’re in here.” Joseph shook his head and looked into my eyes for a while, contemplating. I could almost see his demented wheels spinning round and round. “I know you didn’t murder Anais, son.” He told me with so much weight behind his words it made me wonder where he was going with it all.
“Thanks,” I said. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“You’re a good man and you’re a good son. You’ve been such a good son and you don’t even know it.”
“What exactly are you getting at?” I frowned. I could feel a stress headache brewing at the base of my skull the longer I had to keep my composure around Joseph.
“I’ll tell you when you get out. Just know that I appreciate everything you’ve done for me Alexander and it hasn’t gone unnoticed.” He stood up readying himself to leave. “I’ll be waiting to hear from you.” He looked back at me one last time and I forced a smile as I watched the door roll open. When he was finally gone I let my shoulders slump and a rush of breath escaped me.
I wanted nothing more than to get this shit over with and have Joseph dead and in the ground. I welcomed the mixed emotions that I knew would come when I saw him dead. I knew all those confused feelings would eventually turn into total happiness and peace. All I wanted was peace.
Back in my cell, I looked at videos of Camilla and the kids that she’d emailed me. Seeing her move and laugh and talk in front of me fixed a smile to my face that I couldn’t shake if I wanted to. In the video I watched, she danced around with Chloe, who was even taller than I thought. I missed that little girl.
She looked so much like Camilla that I had to shake my head at it. She would be a serious heartbreaker when she grew up. When I saw Mason walking around in the background I fixed on him and stared. Damn I wish he were my son. I would have given Camilla the world.
Shit, maybe I wouldn’t have. I cheated on her when I did think Mason was mine. Maybe she was better off with Manny. He took care of her and protected her and he was a damn good father to the kids. In several of the videos, I saw Manny tossing the kids around and reading books with them. They’d settled him down nicely and even though it left an ache in my heart, I was glad to see Camilla so happy.
“Epps! Up and at ‘em!” I jumped, shutting the laptop in mid video.
“What’s going on?” I frowned, standing to my feet. I hoped to God that Joseph hadn’t come back. I couldn’t handle any more of him he was exhausting. When the door rolled open and I saw Camilla standing there all smiles, I let out a sigh of relief.
“Come on, Epps,” she laughed, walking into the cramped cell. I watched in somewhat of a daze as she plucked pictures from the wall and gathered my belongings into a large plastic bag. I finally snapped out of it and realization set in quick.
“Am I leaving?” I stammered hopefully.
“You’re leaving this shit hole,” Camilla nodded with the most beautiful smile in the world. I didn’t know what else to do so I picked her up and spun her around, before kissing her soft lips. Fuck, they were so soft. I pulled back from the kiss and just stared at her.
“Okay, okay. Calm down.” Manny’s voice rounded the corner before he did. “Let’s go, little brother.” Manny’s frame swallowed the entire doorway and made me flare with a touch of envy when Camilla leaned against him like he was all the support she needed. I’d never grabbed my shit faster than that very moment. I was a free man. Camilla was not bullshitting when she said she wanted me out the next day. She must have smoothed things over completely with Manny, which meant my small window of being romantic with her had closed shut. I should have fucked her when I had the damn chance.
Walking through the halls and getting checked out was the most anxious I’d been since I was a kid waiting for Christmas. I could barely contain myself. When I was handed the clothes I’d been booked in, I stood there, clutching them in my hands, flooded with memories of being arrested and dragged in like an animal.
From the very minute I’d gotten cuffs thrown on me Camilla was my advocate. She raised hell for me with the warden and with her husband. She never stopped and she came to see me every fucking week without fail. She pulled me out of a dark place and brightened my weeks and months with pictures and letters and care packages.
When I felt hopeless, she gave me hope. She did all that even after I’d totally shitted on her and fucked Anais and left her and Mason at home alone while I was sticking my dick in someone else. She had my back when Manny told her not to come see me anymore. She loved me when nobody else did.
I should beg at her feet.
I should give her anything she asks for.
Yet she’s never asked me for a damn thing. Just to be her friend and be who I used to be. I could at least give her that. The girl had a heart unlike anything I’d ever seen. She wasn’t perfect but she was better than anyone I’d ever met that was for damn sure.
I changed my clothes and let the realization sink in that I was leaving the place I’d stared at for over a year. I was done. Just like that. I expected to feel giddy and I guess a certain part of me did feel that way but another part of me felt lost. Where the hell was I supposed to go? What was I supposed to do with myself since I no longer could practice? Thoughts spun my head around and by the time I walked out to meet Camilla and Manny I was in a daze.
“Hey! Look at you!” She squeaked, hugging me tight.
“Yeah, I know. I’m normal huh?” I chuckled.
“You look good, little brother.” Manny patted my back and we walked out of the building. Out into the sunshine. Out into the fresh air. I squinted my eyes against the harsh natural light and just stood there for a moment taking it in. There was nothing but metal fences and barbed wire as far as I could see but it wasn’t those congested walls and the rolling metal door.
When I felt Camilla’s hand tug on mine, I blinked and snapped out of it. “Come on Alexander, I’ll treat you to lunch and then I have to get to back work.” Manny said, walking ahead of us to his truck.
“You don’t have a driver? Aren’t you the governor?” I smirked. No matter how much of a daze I was in, I still had to fuck with him. It was innate.
“Fuck you. I drive myself around,” he frowned. “I heard Joseph came to see you today. Was Chris with him?”
“Nah. Not today. He came solo.” I answered as I marveled over putting on a goddamn seatbelt. “He wants me to stay with him when I get out.”
“Jesus. Now I have to stage you getting out again? Fine. Whatever.” Manny fussed as he drove. I watched the scenery turn from barren land to palm trees and buildings I actually recognized. I was a free man. It would take so much time getting used to the idea.
I ate lunch with Manny and practically inhaled every bite. It tasted so good, so decadent and rich that I knew I’d be in a food coma shortly afterward. I felt myself start to do
ze off as we drove around after lunch. When I woke up, we were parked in the driveway of a nice house in a quiet neighborhood. I rubbed my eyes and looked around, not recognizing anything anymore.
“Where the hell are we?” I asked, my voice heavy with sleep. It was the best damn sleep I’d gotten in a year.
“I got you a house.” Manny said easily like he brought me a drink or something.
“And a car,” Camilla chimed before she hopped out. I climbed out uncoordinated and trying to get my bearings as I looked around.
“I don’t know how I’m gonna pay you two back,” I sighed. “I have a little money but…”
“Look, Alexander you’ve been through your fair share of shit. I’m done with it if you are. You don’t have to pay us back just…don’t give me any headaches when it comes to Cami and you’re good in my book. Once all this shit gets handled with Joseph, you can come see the kids whenever you want.” I read my brother’s expression and all I could see was sincerity.
“Wow man, thanks.” I shoved my hands in my pockets feeling humbled all the way down to my fucking shoes. “Thank you. I’m sorry for all the bullshit I’ve caused,” I sighed.
“Alexander, it’s done. You’ve suffered enough.” For the first time in a long time, I embraced my brother in a hug. We stood there for a while with unspoken words being filtered between us. “Camilla is gonna hang back and talk to you about everything. I gotta get going. I’ll see you soon though. Stay out of trouble you two,” he warned, pointing from me to Camilla.
“You haven’t moved back in the house yet babe…I don’t know,” she shrugged with the most adorable playful glint in her green eyes.
“Cami, I’ll kill everyone in the entire city. Don’t play with me.” He winked at her and pulled off leaving me with the woman I quite literally owed my life to. She was my angel.
We walked into a fully furnished home with most of my things already in place. How she moved so fast was way beyond me. I didn’t deserve her kindness. “Okay so this place is yours for as long as you need it.”
Camilla sat on a couch that I recognized as the one we had in our old house. The bookshelves were lined with my books and pictures of Camilla and the kids lined the mantle. “Sit down,” she laughed, lighting up her face. I sat beside her nervously. My palms were sweaty and my heart thumped hard against my chest. It was like sitting beside my crush. Not having the barrier of prison separating us made me unsure of how to handle myself.
Camilla pointed to a folder on the coffee table and I had to pry my eyes away from her just to see what she was talking about. “Hey, you okay?” She asked, frowning at my expression.
“I’m sorry Camilla. I’m just overwhelmed. Lots of emotions swirling around right now,” I said honestly.
“I bet. Wanna talk? You always listen to me, let me listen to you.” She kicked her heels off and tucked her feet underneath her body. She looked exactly like she did when she was my patient.
“I can’t ask you to do that,” I smiled.
“Please? Talk to me, I’m here for you.” She rubbed my knee and I fought against my most natural urges to just push her back on the couch and kiss her.
“How the fuck are you so kind?” I blurted, shaking my head. “You’re the nicest person I think I’ve ever met and it’s not just with me. You forgave Xavier too, you forgave Manny…you’re just…” I shook my head. “I don’t even know that I deserve a friend like you.”
“Stop,” she said, looking down at her hands. She was on the verge of tears, which wasn’t my objective at all. “I love you just like I love them. When I love, I love hard even though I know I might seem crazy and hyper sexual…it’s how I show love,” she shrugged. “I know I know…it’s not healthy. I never claimed to be the picture of mental health though. All I know is…I love you, Alexander. I forgive you and I just want you to move on and be happy.”
“I will as soon as my father is dead,” I told her.
“I think that goes for all of us.”
“Once he’s gone I’m leaving…only after I see the kids though. They mean the world to me.” Camilla was smiling now. She rubbed my arm this time and again I had to fight nature. “Look, show me what you were trying to show me. I’m sorry.”
“You’re fine,” she said. She picked the folder up and handed it to me. When I opened it my heart skipped a few beats. My anxious eyes scanned the lines of text over and over. She was proving once again she was too fucking good for me even as a friend.
“Camilla, you got my psychology license reinstated?”
“Yup.” She was grinning from ear to ear and so was I.
“I don’t even know what to say right now. I’m fucking…speechless.” I stammered as I flipped through the reinstatement letter, which was signed by the departments of education and health.
“Just say thank you and that you’ll get back to work where ever you end up settling down.” I couldn’t say another damn word. I was flooded with emotions that could only be expressed with a hug.
“Thank you, Camilla.”
“You’re welcome.” She rubbed my back and then I broke away from her before I could no longer trust myself. “Okay so second order of business.” She crossed her legs and smiled, “Lana’s dead.” I saw that dark twinkle. The darkness that she told me lurked inside of her so many times, the darkness I never wanted to believe in. It was there though and it wasn’t the first time I’d seen it but it was the first time the twinkle was so bright. She was overjoyed that Lana was dead.
It was the dichotomy that was Camilla. She was sweet as pie but if you crossed her, she’d wreak unimaginable havoc and not blink. Because I loved her so much, I sat and listened to the disturbing details of how she made Lana overdose on Molly, stabbed her in the throat, had Manny shove her in a steel drum then set her body on fire while they roasted marshmallows. She never told me how the body was disposed and I didn’t want to know.
“I have her phone so I’ve been texting Joseph on her behalf so he doesn’t get suspicious. So far he’s going along with it but I know he’ll want to meet up with her soon and there’s only so many times I can avoid him before he starts sniffing around.” She said.
“Got it. I’ll go stay with him for a while and continue to gain his trust. Then I think we should go ahead and reel him in. It’s time,” I told her solemnly.
“It’s high time.” She had the dark glint again. I could see how even when she was on the brink of something evil she looked amazing. I averted my gaze because it was getting harder not to kiss her. The tension was pulling at me and after all she’d done for me I was determined to just be her friend and not give her any added stress.
“So, let’s go stock your fridge and get you some new clothes. Then we can hang out for a little while.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I laughed.
“Alexander, we’re both adults. We can hang out together.”
“Camilla, I’ve been in jail for a year and the only interaction I’ve had with pussy is when you sat on my lap. You really think hanging out with you is a good idea?”
“If you really think it’ll be too hard…we don’t have to,” she sighed. As much as I wanted to hang out with her, I knew I couldn’t. Not until I was under control sexually. For now, we needed to be around people…in public. She had me under her spell and I was gladly caught up in it.
**
Twenty-Two
Camilla
Hanging out with Alexander at the store brought back so many memories but I fully understood when he didn’t want us to lounge around the house together. To his credit, he was right and we probably would have gotten into a hard situation to get out of. I had a soft spot for him and it really wasn’t hard to tell at all.
Once I made sure he was settled I went back home and ran right into Xavier. He didn’t mince words he just pulled me in for a tight hug. His cologne filled my nostrils in the gentlest way and made me want to lick him. He could not catch me off guard like that after everything w
e’d done.
“What’s up, Camilla?” He grinned knowingly.
“Hi,” I cleared my throat and pushed him back a few paces. “You came to get Chloe?”
“Yup. And see your fine ass.” He grinned and I turned my head so I wouldn’t be bombarded with his dimples. “Come here,” his fingertips rested on my hips and I brushed them off.
“What, Xavier?”
“You look beautiful.”
“Thanks.”
“You must be cool with Manny again,” He groaned. “Well, it was fun while it lasted,” he winked at me.
“It was,” I admitted. Chloe skipped into the family room and eyed her father and I suspiciously.
“Hey baby,” I smiled.
“Hi, Mommy. I drew dad a picture and it’s on my table in my room. Can you tell him for me?”
“Yeah. I can,” I fussed over her long hair and then kissed her forehead. “Have fun with daddy.”
“Can I come?” Mason ran out and jumped into Xavier’s arms.
“Aw man,” Xavier chuckled.
“Us too!” The twins shouted rambunctiously and in unison.
“Camilla, a little help?”
“What? They want you,” I shrugged.
“Damn. Do I have to take all of you?”
“Yes!” They all cheered.
“Daddy, we’ll be good. Promise.” Chloe clasped her hands together under her chin and batted those long lashes at him for added effect. I could literally hear his walls crumble to the floor.
“Okay. Go get your stuff guys.” He sat on the couch and looked over at me. “You couldn’t have stopped them?”
“Nope. You know the kids love you.”
“Their mother loves me too,” He winked.
“Their mother likes not getting lied to and cheated on,” I quipped.
“Yeah, yeah. You better enjoy your free night,” he pointed at me. I blew him a kiss and he pretended to swat it away. He was full of shit. He adored me just like I adored him.
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