by Amy Richie
“They both died the year before during the freezing season.”
“I see,” he nodded slowly. “Things will be different soon. When we get to the Nation, Ike will find you somewhere else to live. Even if you stay with the other survivors of Ortec, the city, Ortec, will no longer be your home. You won't be a servant of Ortec anymore.”
He stood up straighter. “Just endure it a little while longer; soon you'll be free to do what you want.”
What I wanted? My eyebrows scowled close together as I made my way back to my empty bed. Of course I would stay with the survivors of Ortec, and of course I would still be a servant. I didn't want anything else.
That wasn't entirely true, I thought as I turned away from the door. Different—dangerous— thoughts had been drifting around in my head lately. Thoughts I had no business thinking.
Chapter 14
“Rani!”
I jerked awake at the harsh call of my name and was already swinging my legs onto the floor before I fully knew what was going on.
“Why are you still sleeping?” Constantina snapped.
Was it morning already? Rubbing roughly at my still-sleepy eyes, I rose awkwardly to my feet.
“Angelina has been calling out to you, haven't you heard?”
The night before, after I returned from talking to Cyrus, Angelina had woken up with sharp pains in her stomach. Doctor Gourini had assured us it wasn't time for the baby yet, but the pain persisted throughout the night. Now it looked like we would have an uncomfortable day ahead of us.
“She hasn't slept more than an hour,” Constantina whispered, her voice—for once—was not filled with distaste when she spoke to me. Fear had taken its place.
I quickly glanced toward the door; sure enough, no sunlight flitted down to us. It was still night.
“Go and see what she wants,” Constantina snapped impatiently. “Make her comfortable, so she can get some rest.”
Obediently, I shuffled across the darkened room to Angelina's bed. “Do you need anything?” I whispered, kneeling low to the floor.
“I'm thirsty,” she croaked. “I want some water.”
Her face, which was so often turned up in some new complaint, had the greyish paleness of someone obviously not well. Pausing only to press my palm to her clammy forehead, I scurried to the low table to fetch a cup of water.
“Is she sleeping?” Constantina whispered form the darkness some time later as I returned to my own bed.
“Yes,” I replied in the same whisper.
She was sleeping for now, but I didn't tell Constantina about the bright red spot I had just found on Angelina's bed sheet. I would wait for morning to tell Doctor Gourini. He had said it wasn't time for the baby yet, but he had been wrong before.
*****
Sleep remained elusive that night, and by the time the first dull signs of light outlined the door, I was up again and kneeling next to Angelina. The young woman slept, but worry lines etched themselves deep into her forehead. What could she be dreaming that made her frown like that? I could only hope they weren't the same things I dreamt about.
Shona.
The first year I had come to work for the doctor, I was in charge of caring for a woman called Shona. I had caused her baby to be born dead.
Shaking my head violently, I dipped a still damp rag into a fresh bowl of water and sponged the sweat from Angelina's forehead. She stirred slightly, but didn't wake up.
“How is she?” Sasha asked quietly, coming to kneel beside me.
“She started bleeding last night.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I nodded, glancing over at her briefly. I had to look away when her worry and fear mirrored my own.
“Maybe it is just stress,” she tried weakly to comfort me.
“These days have been stressful,” I agreed in the same half-hearted voice.
“I'll go and wake Doctor Gourini.” Sasha rose off the floor.
“Wake him up?” Was that necessary?
“He'll want to know.”
Halfway to the doctor's bed, Constantina met Sasha. The two women exchanged frantic whispers, and instantly Constantina came to kneel on Angelina's other side.
“She's gotten worse?” she asked in a whisper, eyes wide.
“She's been the same for the past few hours.”
“When did you notice the blood?” Doctor Gourini asked from above me.
“Last night, when I got her some water.”
“Show me.”
Being as careful as possible, I shifted Angelina so Doctor Gourini could see the growing splash of red.
“More than last night?” he asked curtly.
“Yes.”
Constantina gasped, but Doctor Gourini didn't look surprised. His eyebrows furrowed lower together on his forehead―if that was possible―but he gave no other indication of worry.
Hope tried to well up in my chest; maybe Sasha was right. Maybe it was just the stress and Angelina would be fine with a little bed rest. But I had been with the doctor for too many years, and the moment our eyes met across the bed, I knew something was very wrong.
“You will be staying behind today—with me,” he said in his low voice.
I nodded quickly.
Captain Cyrus had told us we would reach Rivend later in the morning, and if his men found no one there as he suspected, we could go and get the supplies we needed. We had planned to stock up on some medical supplies that we hadn't thought to bring with us from Ortec. It looked like they would be going without us now.
“Maybe we should all stay,” Constantina suggested.
“I only need Rani to stay behind,” Doctor Gourini responded gruffly. “I'll tell Sasha and Nurse Betna what to get.”
“Well,” Constantina got back up, wringing her hands tensely, “make sure you put an extra sheet under her. Sasha, go find the Captain; ask him when we'll be arriving at Rivend.”
I couldn't blame Constantina for being worried; Shona hadn't handled it well when her baby died. And if something were to go wrong with Angelina, how much would Doctor Gourini be able to help her while we were on the ship?
With a small sigh, I hurried to find an extra sheet for the still-sleeping Angelina.
Chapter 15
The small boat lurched wildly in the choppy water. My heart lurched along with it as I watched my small son leaning far out over the side of the boat. Rivend, unlike Ortec, could only be reached by the smaller rowboats that were attached to the much larger ship.
“You're worried about the boy?” Cyrus stared down at me, still standing on the deck beside me.
“No,” I lied.
“And you're sure you'll be okay by yourself?” he asked, for the hundredth time that morning.
My eyes shifted across to the second boat out on the choppy water. Doctor Gourini sat ridgedly on one of the long benches, not looking all together sure of his last minute choice to join the expedition to Rivend.
Angelina had perked up considerably after eating some oatmeal and being propped up in her bed. Doctor Gourini decided it would be best if he went himself to get the things he needed, especially since this would be the only chance to get anything until we reached the Nation—a journey which Captain Cyrus had said could easily be more than a week.
“Rani?” Cyrus' voice broke into my silent musings.
“Yes?” I turned automatically to look up at him.
“I was saying,” his green eyes narrowed, “that if the storm comes in too quickly, we'll have to wait it out on land. So if we're late returning ...”
“I'll be fine,” I assured him yet again.
“The storm isn't a bad one,” he continued hurriedly.
We had already had this same conversation several times over the past hour. I wasn't worried about the storm. A quick look back at the boats showed Dais still leaning far over the edge, running his fingers over the top of the water.
“Sharks aren't real, right?” I blurted suddenly. Heat flooded my cheeks, fo
rcing me to duck my head from his sight.
“Sharks?” I heard the confusion in his voice. Of course sharks weren't real.
“I just ...” I stammered into silence.
“Even if they are real, you'll be safe here on the ship,” he said gently. “They stay in the waters.”
Keeping all signs of outward impatience at his misunderstanding, I looked back up at him. “I wasn't concerned for myself.”
“The boy?” He nodded in answer to his own question. “He'll be safe. In all these years, I've never seen a shark. There have been stories—nothing more.”
I tried to smile, but it didn't move my lips.
“You'll be okay alone?” he asked again.
I nodded. I wasn't going to be entirely alone though. Besides Angelina, Katrina had been ordered to stay behind as well. The boats were being tossed around too much, and Doctor Gourini deemed the risk too great.
Cyrus sighed heavily. “Very well. We will return as soon as we can. Shouldn't be more than a few hours.”
I remained on the deck, watching until the thick fog that had rolled in that morning swallowed all three boats. Of course, I had dealt with the fog on Ortec, but out here on the ocean, it seemed thicker—more alive.
Reluctantly, I turned away from the dull grey open sea and made my way slowly back to the small room below deck where Angelina and Katrina were waiting.
I had just reached the small trap door that led to the rickety steps when a shrill scream split the air around me, echoing back to hit me directly in the stomach. With a wild jerk, I threw myself down the few steps and through the open doorway.
“What's happened?” I asked breathlessly, trying to move Katrina aside so I could see Angelina.
“Where's the doctor?”
“They've already gone.”
“What?” Her eyes widened until they took up most of her face. “Call them back, they have to come back.”
I didn't have a chance to tell her it would be pointless to try and call them back now; they were too far away to hear us. Angelina screamed again before I could say any of that.
The noise jump-started us both into action. Katrina fled around me out the door while I rushed toward Angelina. The sight that met my eyes was enough to take my breath away.
Angelina's blanket had been pushed aside to reveal sheets that were drenched in blood. “Oph,” my breath came out in an audible gasp. “Angelina?”
“There's something wrong,” she screeched. “Get Doctor Gourini!”
“He's gone already.”
Her wild eyes came to rest on mine, our gazes locking. Understanding passed between us.
I nodded slowly, swallowing back the panic that was trying to claw its way up my throat. I was the only one who had any hope of helping her; I had no choice but to stay calm.
“What are you doing?” Katrina yelled, coming back down the steps looking devastated.
“I have to see if the baby is coming,” I mumbled, ignoring her outraged gasps.
I finished peeling away layers of clothes and blood soaked blankets to get a better view of what I was dealing with. I had been in enough birthing rooms over the past eight years to know a little bit of what I was doing. Still, I was no doctor, and that much blood didn't seem normal.
“We need some water,” I told Katrina in a dead sort of voice.
“What? We can't. You can't. We have to wait for the doctor.”
“There's no time,” I said, as calm as she was hysterical. “Go and get the water.”
And even though she cried and whimpered the entire time, Katrina retrieved a full bowl of water.
“Do you know what you’re doing?” she hissed.
“No,” I replied without looking at her, “but I don’t think that will stop this baby from coming.”
Chapter 16
No tears came as I wrapped the tiny, lifeless body in the blood stained sheets of her mother. Angelina had screamed herself hoarse until eventually, she passed out. Katrina, not knowing what to do, curled up beside her and cried until she, too, fell asleep.
The storm that Cyrus had hoped to beat back had won out in the end and draped the world in misleading darkness. Even though it felt like the middle of the night, the others couldn't have been gone for more than a few hours.
The baby that we had gone to such lengths to save had been born dead. Judging by the way her skin had started to peel away on her tiny face, she had been dead for a while—even while she was still in Angelina's belly. In the end, despite our best efforts, the sickness must have gotten her anyway.
In the past year, I had seen too many babies born like this one to have any doubts, but I would let Doctor Gourini make the final call.
Then what? A small voice inside my head asked. What would happen to that tiny body after Doctor Gourini saw it? Would she be put into the waters? Would she be turned to ash? Surely not out here, on the ship.
I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. There was nothing more I could do for Angelina's baby; there was never anything any of us could have done. A deep, hollow ache settled itself in my chest, making breathing more difficult.
What if Katrina's baby was born dead too?
I needed to be doing something, anything. Sitting around worrying had never been my way. After a quick check to be sure the two women were still asleep, I placed the wrapped baby well out of sight and went above deck to clean myself off.
Angelina still needed washed, but I wouldn't risk waking her—not yet.
It was when I was wringing out the blood-soaked blanket that the others arrived.
“Rani,” Sasha smiled wide, seconds before her eyes registered the red-tinged water.
“What's happened?” Constantina demanded in a high-pitched wail.
Catching Doctor Gourini's eye, I shook my head silently. “And what about Angelina?” he asked with a heavy sigh.
“Sleeping.”
“What is this?” Constantina clutched the doctor's arm. “What's happened?”
“Angelina's baby is dead.”
I dropped my head as everything around me went deathly silent. Sasha dropped to her knees beside me, tears slipping unashamedly down her lined face. Picking the blanket back up, I continued to try and clean the blood from the material.
“Did you find supplies?” I asked Sasha in a hollow voice that didn't seem to be able to get as much volume as I wanted.
“Yes,” she croaked, reaching into the water to help wash the blanket. “Doctor Gourini seemed satisfied,” she sniffed.
“Good,” I jerked my head forward, “good.”
“Rani,” Nurse Betna called quietly after several silent minutes had passed, “Doctor Gourini would like to see you downstairs.”
I rose automatically, dropping the blanket back into the water. I hadn't even realized they had left the deck. Sasha and I were alone by the water barrel; Dais stood next to Cyrus near the kitchen doors. A quick glance in his direction told me all I needed to know—he had returned safely, and no sharks had taken off his hands.
Not daring to raise my eyes far enough to properly see Captain Cyrus, I turned obediently to follow Betna.
“Angelina is still sleeping,” she called softly over her shoulder. “Constantina thinks it would be best if we ...”
She didn't need to finish her sentence out loud, I already knew. We would take care of Angelina's baby before the grieving woman woke up. Constantina thought it would be for the best—and maybe she was right.
Inside, I was grateful that I had taken the time to examine her baby, to take in the tiny brown curls and pink toes. Later, if Angelina ever asked, at least I would be able to tell her that much. She would never hold her baby or hear her laugh. She would never know the heart-stopping fear of every fall while she learned to walk or the restless nights that seemed to go on forever but one day would become so precious. She might never see her baby's eyes, but at least I could tell her that she had a daughter with tiny brown curls.
“It looks like the sic
kness,” Doctor Gourini whispered as soon as I entered the room. “Was it a difficult delivery?”
“No,” I shook my head. “It was very quick.”
“Did you wash the baby?” Constantina asked without looking at me.
“Yes,” I bowed my head. It had seemed like the right thing to do at the moment. There was so much blood, and if Angelina had wanted to see her ... Now though, maybe it was all for nothing.
“I was afraid this would happen,” Doctor Gourini ran his hand down the length of his face. “I'll be glad to get to the Nation where they have proper medical centers.”
“Is this what will happen to Katrina's baby?” Betna asked, her eyes wide.
“I don't know,” Doctor Gourini admitted in a low voice. “I just don't know.”
Chapter 17
Sasha stared at me across the small space that separated us. The sun was beginning its decent into the vast sea, the storm having worn off hours before. I had followed Katrina above deck and Sasha had joined us moments later.
Although the three of us sat close together, no one spoke. There were no words left to say. Angelina's baby was dead, and no matter what was left unsaid, we all knew there was little hope for Katrina's baby. Not now.
“Doctor Gourini said to make sure Katrina eats,” I heard Nurse Betna say from somewhere far away.
“Who made the oatmeal?”
“The cook, Big Al. The Captain told him to make it.”
“I don't know if she will eat anything.”
“The doctor said she should.”
“I'll try.”
“What about Angelina?” I said hoarsely when Betna turned to leave.
“She's already refused,” she replied softly.
Of course she would refuse, I nodded. How could anyone expect her to eat anything ever again?
“Such a sad day,” Betna murmured before turing away again.
*****
It was a long time later that Katrina stood up, glanced down at me, and before long turned toward the steps that led to the long room below deck.
