by Amy Richie
“Maybe not,” she conceded. “But we can't always control our thoughts.”
I wished more than anything that her words weren't true, but the tears that had been spilling onto my pillow more frequently in the night proved her right. “I guess not,” I said softly, letting the words push out on a soft breath.
“Owen told Katrina that it was better to tell someone our feelings, that it would make you feel better.”
My eyes widened; hopefully Katrina hadn't said too much. The pair had already requested permission to marry and been granted approval, but he could still change his mind if Katrina forgot her place now. “He did?”
“He might be right, you know.” She fussed unnecessarily long over Edna, who had fallen asleep in the crook of her arm. “So tell me why you are worried.”
I hesitated over the words. Speaking of my concern over Cyrus's well-being wouldn't be a welcomed conversation. Cyrus wasn't even my husband. Then again, Sasha was my friend and she had always invited confidences where others turned a deaf ear. Maybe it would be okay ...
“Hey,” Betna called from the doorway. My words froze in the base of my throat. “Time to get down there.”
Sasha turned to me and pulled a face before heaving herself up and over to the second crib.
Chapter 2
Before I went to the kitchen meeting with the others, I needed a minute to compose my shaky feelings. Confiding my insecurities to Sasha was one thing, to show them in front of everyone was immensely different.
“I'm just going to check on Dais first,” I blurted out, jumping to my feet and hurrying out of the room before anyone could stop me.
I raced up the steps and slid into the room that had been given to me on the very first day we arrived at the big house. Shutting the door as quietly as possible, I pressed my back against the cool wood that closed me off from the other survivors of Ortec.
We had built a life here for ourselves after the pirate, Black, had destroyed our life on Ortec. Would we be forced to leave this one behind as well? And worse yet, the thing I didn't get to tell Sasha was the burning knowledge that leaving this house would be giving up on Cyrus coming back for us.
He had promised before he left us here that he would come back for us and we would live together on an island city that Ike was preparing especially for the survivors of Ortec. Dais would live with his true father. I wasn't ready to give up on that hope.
It wasn't my place to decide that though, and I knew it.
I sucked in a deep breath that shook all the way into my lungs. I had to pull myself together and get down to the kitchen; I couldn't let them all wait for me. With a determined thrust of my chin into the empty air, I flung the door back open and hurried back down the steps.
When I arrived in the kitchen a few minutes later, almost everyone was already seated at the large table. Ducking my head to avoid eye contact with anyone, I slipped into the seat beside Angelina.
“Where have you been?” she hissed.
I shrugged.
Doctor Gourini took the last seat at the table, beside Constantina. She looked nervous; he was grim. I swallowed hard, waiting for who would speak first.
“We all know what this is about,” Doctor Gourini broke the tense silence.
There were a few nods, but no one said anything. Just like everyone else, I knew why we were meeting around the table tonight, but none of us knew what to say.
“Two days ago, Ike came to visit us here.”
Visit is a loose way to describe why Ike came here, I thought with a slight grimace that I could only hope didn't show on my face.
“He has asked us to make a decision,” Doctor Gourini continued in the same even tone.
“He wants us to leave this house,” Constantina blurted out, apparently unable to contain herself any longer.
“He didn't say that,” Doctor Gourini contradicted her.
“Practically,” Constantina argued. Her bottom lip jutted out lightly.
“We do have to make a decision though,” Doctor Gourini forged ahead despite her scowl. “We can return to the Nation and find our place there or—” His words were cut off by a frantic voice.
“Why can't we stay here?” Angelina demanded. She sucked her lips inside her mouth to stop any further questioning. I leaned forward, eager to hear the answer to a question I would have never dared to ask.
“We were only here to wait for Cyrus to return from his mission,” Doctor Gourini replied.
“He still might,” Betna shot out.
“They've found Frank Black,” Doctor Gourini said slowly.
“So?”
“He was captured months ago, on his way to the Nation. He told Ike that Cyrus and his men were killed trying to stop him from coming here.” Doctor Gourini's eyes slid over to rest briefly on me.
The breath went into my lungs but then got stuck there. That wasn't true; there was no way that Cyrus was dead. “Black is lying,” I gasped out.
“Perhaps,” he inclined his head slightly. “But Ike feels like enough time has passed for Cyrus to return to the Nation if he were alive.”
I shook my head quickly from side to side. There was a burning sensation in the corners of my eyes, scaring me into complete silence. No crying, I told myself firmly. He's not dead, so there is no reason to cry.
“His ship went down.”
Was Doctor Gourini trying to shatter me completely? How much more would I have to endure?
“There were no survivors, so we have to make a decision on how to move forward.”
I didn't let my eyes stray to anyone else sitting around the table, although I could feel their stares boring into me.
“The original plan was for us to live on a small island city that recently revealed itself just off the Nation.”
“The land that Cyrus wanted?” Betna asked.
“Yes,” Doctor Gourini nodded. “Ike said that we can still have this land if we want it.”
These words were met by another round of complete silence. How could we go to the island without a leader? Constantina had led us on Ortec, but since leaving, she had lost some of her voice.
“I think we should go,” Owen suddenly piped up. “If we can't stay here, that's the choice we should make.”
“We can't stay here,” Doctor Gourini assured him. “We can live in the Nation or on this new island city. But we'll have a lot of work to do there.”
“What's this island like?” Angelina wanted to know. “If it just came back from the waters, are there any homes set up? Where will we live?”
There was a general murmur of agreement around the table. What did we know about setting up an entire city?
“I don't know all the answers,” he admitted heavily. “I can only say that I agree with Owen.” He nodded toward the young man.
“I can go to the city first,” Owen volunteered.
“What?” Katrina fired out, her eyebrows scrunching low on her forehead.
He glanced over at her for a brief moment. “While you guys pack up here, I can go there to make sure we get everything we need to succeed.” His smile grew the longer he talked. “You will follow soon,” he assured Katrina, who didn't look convinced.
“Are we all in agreement?” Doctor Gourini looked all around the room. No one objected. “Okay,” he nodded. “Owen, you can leave tomorrow morning.”
Owen's smile grew and beamed across the table. The excitement was almost contagious—if only there wasn't a huge weight of dread weighing me down.
Chapter 3
My hands shook a little as I folded up the last few shirts from my drawer. It had been a busy few days since Owen left the big house to go to the city. Doctor Gourini had told us all to pack up our things we wanted to take and be ready to go within a few days. Angelina had worried loudly about walking that far with two babies, but it was unnecessary worry.
Just that morning, a man had arrived with an empty wagon pulled by a giant horse to take us to the city. I pulled the heavy window cove
ring aside and peeked down at the wagon. The sight filled me with a dread I wasn't familiar with.
My steps had always been decided for me, for my entire life, so I wasn't sure at first why this new move was so unsettling. It didn't take long to search out the problem though—Cyrus.
If only Cyrus were with us, I would have happily packed up for our new home.
“Mother,” came a small voice from the doorway.
My smile was already forming as I turned to face my ever growing son. “Dais,” I greeted warmly. “Have you finished packing?”
He nodded quickly. “Sasha said we can't take much.”
“Mmm,” I grunted softly. “There won't be much room inside the wagon,” I confirmed.
“She said I couldn't take my rocks,” he said gloomily.
I watched as he crossed the room and sat on the edge of my bed. Compassion rolled over me in waves. “Maybe just pick a few of your favorites,” I suggested.
He looked up quickly, a flash of hope lighting his green eyes. “How many?” he asked excitedly.
“Umm,” I hesitated. Rocks were heavy and Doctor Gourini had warned us to pack light. Just a few wouldn't hurt though, right? “Four,” I said finally, holding up four fingers in the air.
His eyebrows lowered in concentration. “Okay,” he nodded. “I'll go pick out the most important.”
“Make sure they fit in your bag,” I called to his retreating form.
“Make sure what fits?” Sasha asked, coming into the room right after Dais left it.
“Rocks,” I mumbled, turning back to my packing.
She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “I told him not to bring the rocks. There won't be room.”
“I told him he could bring four,” I replied, still not turning around. Dais had taken such time in collecting the various rocks he had found on the grounds of the big house, it seemed such a little thing to let him keep.
Sasha tsked behind me, but didn't say anything else about the rocks. “And what about you?” she asked after a while of silence.
“I have no rocks,” I replied immediately.
“Maybe not,” Sasha said slowly, “but what are you being forced to leave behind?”
Carefully avoiding eye contact, I reached under the bed to retrieve a battered bag I had brought with me from Ortec. “Nothing much,” I answered breathlessly.
“What's that?” she pointed to the bag.
“Some things I brought from Ortec.” I pulled out the old locket my grandmother had once owned and showed it to Sasha.
“Is this from before the wave?” she asked, tracing the chain with one finger.
“Yeah,” I nodded.
“It's beautiful.”
I smiled and tucked it safely away again. “Are you finished packing?”
“Yeah.” I heard her soft sigh but didn't call her out on it. “I don't really have many personal things to pack.”
Most of the wagon space would be used for blankets, food, pans, medicine, and any other general supplies we could use on the island, but we were all allowed one bag of personal things to carry with us. “I don't either,” I admitted. Clothes took up most of the room in my bag. My tomato plants had their own place in the wagon.
“We're leaving early in the morning,” Sasha unnecessarily reminded me, “so be sure to get all your stuff to the wagon before nightfall.”
I nodded my understanding.
“I'll leave you to it.” She stood up again. “Be sure that boy doesn't take more than four rocks.” She wagged her finger in the air, but the smile playing along her lips took some of the severity out of her words. “And Rani,” she paused at the doorway.
“Yeah?”
“If he is alive ...”
My heart sped up.
“He'll find us on that island. Ike will tell him where we are and Cyrus will come for you there.”
I nodded, unable to form the right words.
After Sasha left, I stuffed the old bag into my larger bag and pulled the zipper closed. For better or worse, this was the path we were taking now.
***
The sun streamed brightly through my windows the next morning as I pulled on my plain clothes and tied my hair back in a single braid. I had spent a large portion of the night before in silent tears and desperation until finally, just as the sky began to lighten with the coming morning, I accepted that we were leaving and Cyrus wasn't coming back for us. I didn't completely accept that he was dead yet, but maybe I would live out my entire life never accepting that.
A new excitement took the place of my worry now though: we would soon be on our very own island city, the very city that Cyrus had once envisioned for all of us. In this small way, he would still be with me as I moved forward with the rest of my people.
I was ready with a small smile when Dais came in moments later. “Morning,” he grinned.
“Good morning,” I greeted in return. “All ready?”
He nodded. “The others are downstairs already,” he told me, bounding out again just as quickly as he had come in.
I took one last glance in the huge mirror and turned to follow Dais out to the waiting wagon, which was already stuffed full with things we couldn't leave behind.
“Come on then,” Doctor Gourini called out to me. “You're the last one to get in, Rani.”
I smiled and ducked my head. As much as I tried not to be, I seemed to always be the last one.
Chapter 4
I stood tall and stretched my back out as far as it would go with a slight grimace. It had been a long journey in that wagon from the big house to the Nation, and I had been shoved into a corner with large crates blocking most of my vision the entire way. The city wasn't a nice place to be in, but it was far better than being cramped in the wagon. All I wanted now was a moment to myself and maybe a place to lie down.
“I hate the city,” Angelina grumbled loudly, coming up beside me.
“Me too,” Katrina seconded. “It's so dirty here.”
“Hey,” a familiar voice called out before any more complaints could be made out loud.
“Owen,” Katrina greeted with a happy bounce onto the tip of her toes.
“I expected you guys a while ago,” he beamed, coming to stand in front of Katrina, but talking to the doctor.
“It took longer to get going than we expected,” Doctor Gourini acknowledged.
“Was the journey difficult?”
I kept my opinion to myself, not that he was asking me anyway.
“Not very,” Doctor Gourini nodded without a smile. “A bit of a long distance though.” He twisted his body, maybe suffering the same stiffness I had myself.
“I think a rest is in order,” he grinned around at all of us.
“Will we be staying here in the city?” Constantina inquired. “Before we sail to the island?”
“Yes,” he nodded quickly. “They have set up a room in the capital building for you to stay in for a few days while the ship is being made ready.”
“Good,” Angelina half growled. “I need some sleep before getting on the wretched boat.”
“Me too,” Betna scowled. “And the girls are getting fussy from that wagon.” She gestured behind her where Sasha was taking the girls beds from the back of the wagon. Both of the babies were still sleeping.
“Let's go then,” he scooped up a large bag by Katrina's feet and waited for the rest of us to do the same before starting off toward the large building that housed the Nation's Council.
The council building was larger than any other building I had seen before, and the directions we took through the long hallways were confusing. Luckily, we had Owen leading the way.
He took us to a spacious room with several bedrolls laid out along the walls and under the window. “Ike had them get this room ready for you,” Owen informed us with a wide grin. “I'll leave you all to wash up and rest for a while.”
Nodding, Constantina turned away to pick out an all-white blanket that looked a lot like
a cloud. I wondered briefly if it would be as comfortable.
Owen stopped at the door and turned to us with a smile. “We're staying here for a few days, so just try and relax. You'll need your rest for the days ahead.”
I glanced at Sasha, wondering if she felt the same ominous sinking of her stomach that I did. Why do we need our rest? The new island home we were heading to might be more work than we thought. I held my sigh in.
“Well,” Doctor Gourini clapped his hands together lightly, “some rest, I think.”
“Betna,” I called out softly, “here's a place for you.” I pulled back the top of a brown colored blanket. “You must be tired.”
“When are you going to stop doing that?” Betna huffed, rolling her eyes slightly.
“Stop doing what?” I patted the blanket invitingly.
“Stop being the servant of Ortec.” Despite her words, she made her way across the room and crawled into the bedroll on the floor.
“These look really comfortable,” Angelina commented, crawling into one herself.
“I wonder where Owen is sleeping,” Katrina worried out loud.
Sasha laid down a still sleeping Edna and then reached up to take Emily from her mother. “I'm sure he'll come back here when he gets tired,” she assured her.
I understood Katrina's worry for the man she loved, even if I couldn't voice it in the way she could. “You two can have those,” Sasha told me, pointing out two empty bedrolls for me and Dais.
I nodded gratefully. I had barely taken a few steps when a knock sounded on the door that had only been recently shut by Owen. Doctor Gourini pulled it open.
A young woman stood on the other side, craning her neck to look up at the doctor. “Ike wishes to speak with the woman called Rani,” she told him.
“Rani?” I heard the confusion in his tone.
“Yes, sir,” the girl nodded. “I can take her with me now.”
Doctor Gourini turned to me with an upraised eyebrow. “Rani,” he called out, “Ike, leader of the Nation, wants to see you.”
Without looking around at anyone, I hurried forward to follow the girl from the room. “It's just this way, miss,” the girl assured me with a small smile.
