by Ramy Vance
Stew, who was watching Terra like a hawk, shook his head. “Nope. There’s always something bigger and better to kill.”
Terra shrugged as she tapped the bottom of her cup. “Eh. I feel like I peaked after I killed a demigod.”
Stew’s jaw dropped nearly to the table. “What? You fought a demigod? You have to tell me about it!”
Sandy flipped through her book, not bothering to look up. “Be careful, Terra. You keep talking like that, and he might try to follow you home like a puppy.”
Stew gasped as he pressed his hand to his chest. “Babe, I would never.”
Sandy pointed her wand at Stew. “I’m going to remind you. No threesomes.”
Terra laughed. “As if. You guys are practically babies.”
Sandy waved her hand, and her book disappeared. She reached for one of the beers. “He needs guidelines. Otherwise, he gets a little carried away.”
Terra, Stew, and Sandy continued to talk while Anabelle, Abby, and the rest of the Mundanes pursued a different conversation. “We’re here because we are looking for information on José,” Abby explained.
Suzuki checked over his shoulder. “If you’re looking for that, you might want to talk to the Horsemen, or what’s left of them. They were José’s party before…well, you know.”
Suzuki shouted at two MERCs in the corner. The first was a no-nonsense mage named Diane, who wore Coke-bottle glasses and robes that looked more like a military uniform than a wizard’s garb. The second MERC was a wiry-looking human with short, dirty-blonde hair who wore welding goggles on her forehead. The two made their way over to the Mundanes’ table. “Guys, these are the Horsemen. Diane and Chip,” Suzuki said.
Chip’s eyes widened when she saw Abby. “Oh, I’ve been hearing lots about you, m’lady. Been shaking up the whole business with that nanobot jazz. Do you mind if I have myself a teeny look?”
Abby gazed dubiously at Chip. “Uh, I’m not sure if—”
Chip held out her arm, which separated down the middle, revealing an elaborate robotic setup. She flexed, and her arm rearticulated into a beam cannon. “Trust ‘ol Chip, m’lady; the interest is purely academic. I ain’t seen another person walking around with that much tech in their body in much of a minute. Perhaps an exchange of pertinent information would be in order?”
Abby and Chip slipped into conversation quickly, discussing nanobot rations and paradigms of over-redundancy. That left Anabelle, Suzuki, Diane, and Beth to discuss the matter at hand.
“There’s no sense beating around the bush,” the elf said. “We’ve been sent on a mission by Myrddin and José, but we’ve been having a shit time finishing it. We’re stuck in a dungeon.”
Beth scoffed before she caught herself. “Aren’t you guys the Dark Gate Angels? Way I’ve heard it is you’re Myrddin’s special little project. Direct communication with the man and resources that us MERCs can only dream of.”
Anabelle spoke slowly. “All that’s true, and it doesn’t change that Myrddin sent us on a mission we need help with. We need to pick your brains for anything you know and to be frank, I’d appreciate any help you’re willing to give us with the dungeon.”
The elf went on to explain the intricacies of the dungeon. Suzuki perked up when Anabelle explained about the riddle door.
Suzuki looked at Diane. “What do you think?”
Diane tapped her fingers on the table as she thought. “Well, me and Chip have a couple of contracts right now, and they might not be filled until next week. But you four, if I recall, don’t have anything to take care of.”
Stew leaned over from his conversation, slightly slurring his words. “Whoa, hold on, Suzuki. You said we were going to get some time off this week. We just got back yesterday. Are they even offering us loot? Because you know I am not working without a payday.”
Suzuki was quiet. “What do you think, Beth?”
Beth smirked at Anabelle before genuinely smiling. “It’s not every day you get to help out Myrddin’s special pet project. Or get access to their armory.”
Stew clapped his hands together. “Hell, yeah. That’s what I’m talking about.”
Suzuki shook his head. “No, I don’t want to pull that kind of crap.” He turned back to Anabelle. “If you need help, the Mundanes are here to give it.”
Anabelle and Suzuki shook hands as Stew grumbled and went back to challenging Terra to a drinking contest. “I really appreciate it, Suzuki,” the elf said. “And because you decided not to be a dick, I’ll see what I can do about you four checking out the armory.”
Suzuki slammed his cup on the table and cheered. “I will drink to that. Now, what are you guys up to tonight?”
Anabelle, Terra, and Abby looked at each other. “Uh, this was our plan,” the girl said softly.
Sandy handed Terra a beer. “Since you’re here, you might as well celebrate with us. We got a big haul today and lots of gold to spend. Barmaid! Get us another round!”
Chapter Eight
It was twelve in the morning, and the Mundanes and the Dark Gate Angels were in the midst of what could only be called revelry. The booze and food at the Red Lion flowed infinitely, and each of them was beginning to feel its effects.
Abby had never been drunk. She’d had a few drinks here or there when she had the courage to challenge the adults around her, but that was about it. Even now, she wasn’t certain if she was drunk. There was a weird feeling in the back of her head that made it hard to think, but other than that, there were no noticeable signs. I’m pretty sure that’s most of being drunk, Abby thought. Then she asked Martin, Hey, can you filter the alcohol out of our system faster? We’re not really crazy about this.
Martin sighed as he answered. “So, you don’t want to enjoy the life-fulfilling experience of alcoholism?”
“We’d prefer not to.”
“Uh, all right. You have enough nanobots to take care of that, and I’ll repair the damage to your liver and whatever other organs you happen to use.”
Abby grabbed the beer in front of her and sipped it. She was glad Martin hadn’t become any less of an ass now that there was another consciousness within her. Part of her had been afraid he would be jealous, kind of like a dog that has a new puppy in their home. She also realized that was a ridiculously condescending way of looking at her AI and the new consciousness.
The fuzzy feeling in Abby’s head began to fade, and her vision cleared. Now she could watch what was happening at the table more easily. She suddenly remembered that Chip had been talking to her and had left to grab more food for the party.
The conversation had been interesting, mostly because Chip was so interesting. Abby didn’t know the Dark One’s technology had extended as far as creating new life forms through technology, and she and Chip pondered the bizarreness of such an evil, malevolent life form creating new life for its own purposes.
Not all conversations at the table were as intelligent, though.
Stew was piss-drunk, and Terra was slowly catching up with him. Nearly an hour and a half ago, Terra had told Abby she wasn’t going to get drunk with a twenty-year-old. According to Terra, she was too old to be doing shit like that, yet here she was, slamming another beer at Stew’s and Sandy’s goading.
Sandy wasn’t any better, but she comported herself more elegantly. She didn’t speak often, but her eyes were wide, and she watched everything going on around her. Each drink Stew and Terra finished, Sandy matched.
Suzuki, Anabelle, and Beth, on the other hand, were all business. Over the course of the dinner, the three of them had constructed a map of the dungeon. Anabelle recounted as many details as possible, occasionally asking Abby to fill the blank spaces in her memory.
It was interesting. Abby had never seen this kind of dynamic in her friends before. Something about Stew brought out an intensely childish and competitive part of Terra, while Suzuki’s calm demeanor grounded Anabelle and helped her slip back into her role as the leader of the DGA.
Chip returned to the table carrying a p
late of steaming meats and exotic fruits. She slid it onto the table and sat next to Abby. “First time at the Red Lion?”
Abby tore herself away from her observations. She didn’t want to record every moment that happened. Being part of it seemed more interesting. “We’ve never been to a bar. This is an interesting experience for us.”
“How long you been running around with these folk here?”
Abby explained to Chip the genesis of the DGA, the battles that they’d fought, and their relationship. Chip, contrary to what Abby would have assumed, hung on every word, occasionally interjecting or asking questions.
Across the table, Suzuki snapped his fingers. “I got it! I’ve heard of this riddle door before. Well, not this one, but similar ones. They’re kinda a con. There’s a specific answer they’re looking for. It’s not so much about the riddle as the answer.”
Anabelle didn’t look convinced by Suzuki’s words. “Wait, are you telling me that not only do we have to come up with a riddle, but the only way that we’re going to be able to do that is by finding the specific answer the door is looking for?”
Suzuki shrugged as he pulled out a notebook and started to thumb through it. “I didn’t make the door. I’m just telling you what I’ve heard.” He turned to Sandy. “Hey, you know more about those riddle doors than me. Can you—”
Sandy pulled out her wand and aimed it at Suzuki. She flicked it, and Suzuki’s mouth disappeared. “You talk too much, Suz. Maybe you should just talk a little bit with a little mouth…”
Beth drew her knife and slammed it into the table. “Sandy! We’ve talked about no drunk magi at the dinner table!”
Sandy hiccupped and covered her mouth. “Oh, I’m sorry. I just thought Suz would look cute without a word hole.”
Stew tore himself away from his conversation and looked at Suzuki. “Hm. I think it’s an improvement. He’s much less annoying when he can’t talk.”
Beth grabbed her knife and pointed it at Stew. “If we’re getting rid of mouths, I’d say yours should be first on the list.”
Anabelle leaned in to whisper into Abby’s ear, “They have a very different dynamic than us.”
Sandy waved her wand, and Suzuki’s mouth reappeared. Suzuki felt his lips and smacked them, then looked sternly at Sandy. “No magic at the table unless it’s a joke is the rule, although it did sound a little bit like a joke.”
Sandy raised her wand, and a series of sparks shot off. “Victory! Beth the Killjoy is defeated!”
Beth glared at Sandy. “No, she is not!” She flung herself across the table, knocking over a couple of cups of beer, and tackled Sandy to the floor.
Abby and Anabelle leapt to their feet and backed away from the table, confused by what was happening. “Should we stop them?” Abby asked.
Suzuki shook his head as Stew leaned over to look at the two wrestling. “Nah, it’s a pretty regular thing,” Stew said.
Anabelle began to speak but was interrupted by a gale of sharp laughter. Beth stood up as Sandy tickled her ribs mercilessly. “Do you yield?”
Beth pounded the table and shouted. “I yield! I yield! The killjoy is defeated.”
Sandy magically righted all the cups. “Sorry about that. Sometimes Beth needs to be reminded of the damage we mages can do.”
Beth skewered a piece of meat, tossed it at Sandy, and winked at her. “Okay, what were we talking about?”
Anabelle cautiously sat, and Abby did the same. “We want your help running through the dungeon,” the elf said. “You guys are the most experienced company in the MERC group.”
Suzuki felt his face, double-checking to see if everything was where it should be before speaking. “We’ll run it with you. And I’ll start trying to come up with a riddle. Should be fun. Kinda like a puzzle. Anyone care to give me a hand with that?”
Abby raised her hand. “We would. It’s been stumping us for way too long, and it would be nice to work with someone else. Most of our work is done with our labmate. Nothing beats a good collaboration.”
Suzuki motioned toward an empty table across from theirs. “You want to take a seat over there? Get some quiet while we brainstorm?”
Chip, who had been talking to Diane, looked at Abby. “Wait, you can’t take such an interesting, shiny one away and keep her all to yourself. We got so much to chat about still!”
Suzuki was already on his feet, walking toward the table. “If that’s the case, get over here and help us come up with something.”
Abby stood and looked at Anabelle. “Is it okay if we get some quiet?”
The elf shrugged as she eyeballed the meat on the table. “You go for it.” As Abby walked away, Anabelle struck up a conversation with Sandy and Diane. Both seemed eager to talk to her about magic.
Abby took a seat with Suzuki and Chip. “You guys aren’t what we were expecting,” she said.
Suzuki and Chip smiled and nodded. “Yeah, most people aren’t expecting this,” Suzuki admitted. “I’m one of the tamer MERCs, but people are starting to think even I’m a little rough. We had a group of elvish intel guys come through last week. You should have seen their faces when they met Stew. Granted, he was in the middle of wrestling three other MERCs. But you know a lot about us, Abby. We’ve only heard rumors about you.”
Abby flushed. She didn’t like it when conversations turned to her, and even less so when people knew something about her that she wasn’t aware of. “What have you heard?”
Chip leaned over the table and waved her finger at Abby. “Word around here is that you developed some tech to break the Dark One’s mind control, and your friend over there’s leading an orcish revolution. Safe to say this ain’t what we were ‘specting neither. A human orc-lover, an elf that enjoys being around humans, and a little genius girl. Nope, not at all.”
Suzuki picked at one of the scars on his hand. “Yeah, the orc shit is very interesting. Think it might be the first time in a couple hundred years that anyone gave a shit about them. You three were the most unlikely, in my opinion, but it’s a pleasant change. Any chance we might have that mind control tech on a large scale?”
Abby explained why that might not be possible. There was something special about the nanobots growing in her body and attaching to her DNA. Creon had tried to replicate the process more than a dozen times but always failed, and Abby frankly wasn’t certain if her body could handle doing it again.
Suzuki sighed as he leaned back in his chair. “That’s a bummer, but understandable. All right, let’s get to this riddle.”
Abby’s HUD went off, and she looked down to check it. There was a message from Persephone, asking Abby to call her immediately. “Hey, can you guys hold on a sec? We need to take this.”
She stood and walked off as Chip gave Suzuki a bemused look. “Not too bad for a cyborg, eh?”
Suzuki folded his arms. “Is she technically a cyborg? I feel like you have to be part robot for that to count.”
Chip walked two fingers across the table. “Are you daft? The little sprite has nanobots running around in her blood!”
Luckily, Abby didn’t hear anything Suzuki or Chip had said since she would have had a lot of opinions, because she was busy calling Persephone back. “Hey, what’s up?”
Persephone sound rushed and like she was freaking out. “The Gate! It’s active, and we don’t know what turned it on, and the scientists are really confused, and I didn’t know what to do because I don’t think I can do anything. So, I called you. Do you think you can come check it out?”
“We’re kinda trying to make up a riddle right now.”
“We’d really appreciate it. Creon’s here, and he asked for you specifically.”
Abby leaned against the wall, watching the rest of the DGA at the table. She could see that Anabelle was smiling while talking to Diane and Sandy. “Are you sure you didn’t just call me because you wanted to see me?”
Persephone’s stress broke for a second and she laughed. “That is a bonus.”
�
��Hold on, let me check.”
Abby went over to Anabelle and cleared her throat. “Hey, we just got a call from Persephone. She said Creon needs my help with the Gate. Do you mind if we head over there?”
Anabelle rolled a pastry ball around in her hand. “Of course. How are you going to get there, though?” She turned to Diane and Sandy. “Do you guys have a hadron collider here?”
Diane laughed as Sandy jerked her hand at a door near the bar. “This isn’t Earth, it’s Middang3ard. We’re chock-full of magic. Just talk to the bartenders; give them a general idea of where you need to go, and they’ll figure it out,” Sandy explained. “It was nice to meet you. Looking forward to killing shit with you.”
Abby liked how rough and tumble the MERCs were. She wondered if she would ever be that badass. “Thanks! I’ll see you guys later.”
Then she headed over to Suzuki and Chip and explained the situation. Chip protested, but Suzuki calmed her down. They agreed to be in contact through their HUDs to keep working the riddle. Once Abby was done, she went over to the bartender and let him know where she needed to go.
The bartender directed her to the door, which she flung open. The girl stared into the portal, took a deep breath, and stepped through.
Chapter Nine
Sarah was down in the prisoner holding ward. Only Kravis knew that she was there. It wasn’t that tabs were kept on who came and went, but generally if a prisoner was being held in HQ’s prison, they were high profile. Most people wanted to stay away from high-profile prisoners.
That was not the case for Sarah. There was someone down there she desperately needed to talk to.
If she needed to keep a secret, right now would have been the easiest time. Myrddin still wasn’t conscious, and Roy, who was in charge, was not at the base. Sarah had noticed that security had gotten lax in Myrddin’s absence. She made a mental note to bring it up with Roy.
As Sarah walked down the rows of cells, she thought about how many prisoners HQ had managed to take over the last few years. Sarah thought it was a mistake. It was better to tie up your loose ends. If someone ever planned a prison break on HQ, they would have a long list of heavy hitters who would want revenge.
