by Rita Hestand
"Yes, for a while. I did learn to read and write, do my sums. But after we moved here, all I could do was read to learn."
"You quit going to school?"
"Yes," she stared. "My step-father said women had no use for learning."
"Then he was a fool. I too find it amusing to find a woman who can speak of many things. I enjoy talking to you, at least when we are not talking about the barn incident."
"Thank you. Most people want me to shut up. But yes, he was a fool about many things. I found him to be intelligent in ways that others aren't. Before my mother died, he was very cunning, and he knew a lot about man things, hot to fix things, how to make do with very little. But as far as books and education go, he had little of that and thought it not necessary. A man that gets by with only wit and wisdom thinks he needs no education. But he certainly didn’t think women needed to be educated."
"Ah yes, they want to keep you in your place."
"Exactly." She smiled. "And that is the real reason I'm not married. Few people I know want to sit down and talk about things, things that don't necessarily concern them. I enjoy learning from others. How do you know if you are right about something, if you don't listen to others to form your own opinion?"
"You have an intelligent mind."
"I don't mean to sound bitter toward my father, because in some ways I had great respect for him. He loved my mother dearly. For that I cared for him. I tried my best to respect him, but after my mother died, he changed so much, it was the whiskey that did that to him. I realized that soon enough. I'm not opposed to a man having a drink now and then, but he abused the privilege."
"Then it is best I brought you with me. As a drunk can do many things that he shouldn't."
She stared at him now, "I know," she admitted softly. He twisted his head as though puzzled. "I'd have killed him if he'd tried." She frowned. "I'd already made up my mind about him. As a step-father it would be wrong for him to do that, and I would pull the trigger."
"But you didn't with Earl."
"Earl only acted that way when he drank. Other times he was fairly decent, and I had no quarrel with him, as he shielded me from my father many nights. So, in some ways I was grateful to him."
"I don't understand, you said you couldn't kill Earl."
"Not because I cared about him. Killing Earl would be murder. Killing a father that was trying to do such a thing to me… I would have to kill him. I would have no choice, he was my mother's husband, not mine."
A soft smile curled his lips, "I believe you would. Tell me, how many men have you killed?"
She stared a moment, "You're making fun of me?"
"Teasing you," he smiled. "Where did you get the gun?"
"I bought it."
"You… bought it?"
Her eyes took on a sadness he hadn't expected. "Well, I started to. There was a very nice lady at the General Store, and I told her I needed a gun. She saw my father drunk many times and I guess she understood. She took one look at me and gave me the gun. She said they'd have to be close to me for it to do any good, but that I should use it, if I had to. She said she'd even be my witness if necessary. I really liked her."
"He would do such a thing to you?" Moon stood up now and paced back and forth his face mirroring anger.
"He was my step-father, not blood kin, and he was crazy when he drank. That's why I didn't mind Earl being around. By the time Earl would leave, my father would be so drunk he'd go to sleep. And then I could sleep."
"I have a feeling you have missed many night's sleep."
"A few." She smiled.
"A lot," he affirmed.
"Y-yes."
As though it dawned on Moon exactly what she was saying he came up to her and jerked her into his arms.
He held the back of her head with one hand, and a hand at her back. "No wonder you wanted to come with me. Now it makes good sense. I hadn't considered that of him, he's your family. You must have nearly worried yourself to death."
For Moon to understand this and be compassionate shocked Lissa. She hadn't expected it.
Suddenly he realized she was in his arms and he let her go. "I am sorry. It is only that I want to protect you. It is that I finally understand what you fear the most. And you have every right to fear it."
She stared. "I know, you think I'm a child. Sometimes I kind of act like one. It's not intentional though. I guess being an only child makes me sometimes childish, and sometimes very mature. But you are right, I did fear him, still do."
He stared with a grin, "I wish I did think of you as a child." He murmured and walked off.
She stared at him now.
He turned around to look at her again.
"Did I scare you?" he asked with a slight frown.
"No, I'm not afraid of you."
"You're not?" he sent her a smile.
"No!"
"Why, you do not know me that well to make such a judgement."
"Women go by instincts, I guess. I mean it could have gone many ways back there in the barn. If you were dangerous you could have killed me and Earl, even yourself. You could have hurt me then if you wanted to. You didn't. Instead, you protected me. Why should I mistrust you? When someone offers you a kindness, you offer them your trust."
"We better get some sleep, we have a long day ahead of us." He told her, shaken by her sound reasoning. He hadn't meant to hug her, but the memory of holding her stayed in his mind. She had felt so warm, so small and so inviting.
It had been a long time since a woman had given him her trust.
She nodded and he offered her the blanket once again.
Chapter Four
That night she heard a noise and she raised up from the blanket wide-eyed.
"It is an owl. Everything is fine, go back to sleep." He told her.
"I should know that, but it woke me." She said softly.
When he didn't say anything, she went on to explain.
"I've never been on my own like this before, out in the wilds like this at night. Nighttime and the darkness scare me some. It's funny… "
"What?" he asked staring.
"When you’re a child, nothing scares you much, like out here. But when you grow up you see the dangers lurking and you become afraid of it. It should be the other way around, don’t you think?"
"I've always embraced the forest and the countryside." He answered. "When you get to know it well, it will never scare you."
She admitted. "I suppose in time you do get used to all the sounds."
He stared at her, "I will not let anyone, or anything harm you, Lady." He told her. "The country is my home, I fear none of it. It is man that we have to fear." He reminded her gently.
"You keep calling me Lady." she corrected. "Are you afraid to call me by my name?"
"No, not afraid. Just trying to be respectful."
"I know why you are doing it."
"You do?"
"Yes, you don't wish to be too familiar. That's another reason I trust you. You do not assume anything."
"You are a wise one." He noted with admiration.
"I'm a schoolteacher. An old maid schoolteacher." She frowned. "I'm supposed to know all these things. I just didn't expect it from an Indian."
"I do not understand your thinking. What did you expect?"
"I thought, since you saved me back there, maybe we could be friends."
"What does the old-maid mean? I am not familiar with the term, as you are not old."
"I'm not married, and not likely to be."
"Why?"
"Part of it comes from the fact that schoolteachers are not supposed to be married. There are many restrictions for schoolteachers. To many rules that are outdated, but it is the rule, nonetheless. And being out in the forest on this mountain, with torn clothes in the company of an Indian is certainly not normal for a schoolteacher. I would be quickly dismissed from my job."
"I am sorry, but you chose to come." He reminded her.
"I'm sorry, I apo
logize, it isn't your fault. But I highly doubt I'll ever teach school again." She chortled.
"Perhaps. Go to sleep, we have much traveling to do." He told her. But she was right, she was a lady, yet thinking on her as a lady kept him in his place. She had no idea just how beautiful she was, or how tempting.
She stared at him a long time before she closed her eyes and went to sleep.
The next morning, he made coffee and he scouted around then came back to see her sleeping. He nudged her awake. "Better get some food so we can head out."
"Oh, that coffee smells good. I didn't think Indians drank coffee." She smiled as she tied her hair back with a small ribbon from her pocket. It was amazing what she kept in those pockets, he mused.
"Jack drank coffee every morning. It smelled so good I tried it. I like it very much."
She nodded, "So do I."
"Jack put milk and sugar in his." He told her.
"I prefer mine black."
"Me too!" he smiled.
"How old are you Moon?" she asked suddenly.
"I will be thirty soon." He told her. "And you?"
"I'm twenty-two."
He couldn't believe it. "You do not look that old!" He frowned.
She chuckled. "I am. I'm old enough to be considered an old maid." She raised her head with a slight smile.
"Why do you say this about yourself?"
"Well, most young women marry around eighteen years old. Most have babies by the time they reach my age. So, unfortunately, it puts me as old age material."
"I do not look upon you as an old maid." he told her frowning. "I do not believe that age defines a man or a woman."
"That's very sweet, but I'm afraid that is exactly what I am. Means no man wanted me enough to marry me, and I probably won't have many ask me now." She laughed. "White women turn a certain age without marrying, and white men think they are too old. It's not a written rule, it's just there."
When he still didn't look like he understood she sighed.
"You are not too old, and much too beautiful not to marry… " he blurted.
She blushed at his words. "That was a very nice thing you said, thank you. I've never been around such compliments."
"It is the truth. Did you not know it?"
She stared. "Then if it is, there must be something else that keeps me from marriage."
"You are," he thought a moment, "More independent than most white women, I have seen and met. And somehow more educated than many. Many men are not educated enough, and might feel insecure around you."
"And have you met many old maids?"
"No, I guess I have not. But I notice white women seem more helpless. You seem to want to help yourself."
"That's a coy trick."
"What do you mean?" he frowned turning his head at her statement.
She sighed again and smiled. "Women seem helpless so that the man will pay attention and help them. It is a lure, like the worm on the hook of a fishing pole." She chuckled.
He nodded slowly, his understanding. "A mating trick."
"That's the idea." She chuckled. "Not all women, but some are very good at trickery."
"I see." He smiled. "And is your stumbling around the forest a trick?"
"No," she laughed. "That's just clumsiness." She chuckled, "that and these boots. I've always been a bit clumsy, but I have learned to adapt to it. It doesn't bother me, but mainly the people I'm around."
"You do not use trickery on men?" he asked with a smile.
She seemed to think on that, like everything he asked. "I don't want a man I have to trick. It's that simple. And quite possibly why I am not married. White women try to act helpless to catch a man. But once he is caught and they marry, she must change and be independent. She will run his home, do his laundry, have his children, all without guidance from him. I seek honesty in a person."
"You think a lot, don't you?"
"Most of the time, yes. Too much I suppose." She sighed heavily. "I think I'm rather boring to others."
She ate her jerky, drank her coffee and folded the blanket up once more.
But a rifle shot made her move to his side and grab his arm. "What should we do?"
"Can you climb?"
"Climb what?"
"The tree." He nodded.
"Yes," she glanced at him.
"Then that's where we will go."
He helped her up to the first limb and she began to climb. He followed right behind her. When she stopped, he pushed on her butt, "Further up," he whispered, when she turned to look down at him. She looked up and saw a good sturdy branch and moved to it.
She climbed higher. When she found a sturdy limb, she stopped. He came up even with her now and saw she was trembling. Tears in her eyes made him react. He pulled her close and held her against him as she shook.
"I haven't climbed in a l—"
Suddenly he kissed her. He only meant to shut her up, but the kiss took on a life of its own, and her response shocked him. It was a wild kiss that unleashed all the tension between them. His lips were so soft, so persuasive, that she moaned a little. Driven by sense of urgency, her heart pounded with expectations. His lips were warm and soft, and the world seemed to disappear for the moment. There was no thought of right or wrong, no judgement, only feelings were involved.
A strange and sensuous light passed between them now. His glance raked her, making her even more aware of their differences. He pulled away and glanced down at the two men below. They were standing not far from the tree.
He glanced back at her stunned look and smiled warmly, then put his fingers to her lips to be quiet. She nodded.
Her look was not angry, but perhaps shocked.
"I could have sworn I heard something. And lookie here, there was a fire." The shorter man said.
"They must have taken off when they heard my rifle shot." The other man said.
"You don't reckon you shot them do ya, instead of a deer?"
"Let's hope not." The other one chuckled.
Lissa started to whisper something, but Moon shook his head.
She nodded slowly.
"Guess we scared them off," the shorter man said.
"Well, no matter, I better go see if I got that deer or not." The other man told him. They left their gear on the ground near the embers of the fire.
"I hope so, I’m hungry. We could camp here, might be easier and we got a good view of the valley below."
"Alright, you gather some wood, and I'll check on the deer."
When the shorter man went to gather wood, Moon took his hand from her mouth.
"Now what?" she asked.
"We wait for our chance to leave."
She glanced down, "Why not now?"
"No, they are too close. We need to wait until they sleep."
"How are we going to get down without waking them?" She asked putting her hands on her hips.
"We're going to be very quiet!" he told her in a firm voice.
Then he looked at her once more. "Do I detect anger?"
"It's just that…Why'd you kiss me." She wasn't frowning, nor smiling, just obviously curious.
He frowned, "To shut you up."
"Maybe, but I know a kiss from shutting me up. You kissed me." She whispered. "It's alright. I was curious what it might be like too. Now we know."
"Yes, now we know." He said dully.
That startled her.
"I did not mean it to be a kiss," he frowned. "It was the only way to shut you up without yelling."
"Oh, my mistake." She stared at him. "But I think you are lying."
He stared at her now, "How would you know?"
"You don't look at me when you lie."
"This is no time to discuss it." He told her as he heard the men coming again.
There were more shots in the distance.
Moon stared at her now and put his finger to his lips. She nodded.
The taller man came back to the camp and saw the wood for the fire. "No deer, but I got a c
ouple of rabbits." He told his friend.
"Good enough. Didn't feel like dressing out no deer anyway." The other one chuckled.
"We'll make camp here tonight and tomorrow head back to the ranch. The boss is probably looking for us now."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. But I'm give out chasing strays."
Standing on a big tree limb for hours was hard and several times Lissa almost fell. He grabbed her to him and held her against him. "Lean on me when you need to, we'll be out of here soon." He whispered lowly by her ear.
She wrapped her arms around his waist. He pressed her into the tree trunk. Her softness stirred him. She looked up at him. "My legs keep wanting to crumble." She tiptoed to whisper in his ear.
"Shh… "
"Hey Joe, you ever been married?"
"Naw, cain't say I have, why?" The tall cowboy looked at his friend as they nibbled the rabbit.
"I've been giving thought to it lately. That girl in Evans, the one with the feather in her hat, she sure is a pretty thing. You think she'd look at me if I cleaned up?"
Joe chuckled, "Maybe. But it's a fact you'd have to clean up some."
"I'm gonna ask her to have some tea with me, or something."
"Tea?" Joe chuckled.
"What's wrong with tea?"
"Not a damn thing Ed, not a damn thing." Joe chuckled.
"It gets lonely being a cowboy all the time. Pushin' cows all day, never a female around."
"Yeah, your right about that. But I usually just go into the saloon and get what I want and be done with it."
"That's no way to live Joe." The little one shook his head with disgust. "You can get the clap really easy and then you got troubles. And besides, what happens when your old and got no one to look after you?" Ed told him. "Besides, I want a good woman, one I can curl up to and maybe have some babies with. You know, sit around the fire at home and talk with half the night. I mean don't you get lonely. Jawin' with a man is different than talking to a woman. That girl back in Evans looks like she's got some sense about her, and she's so pretty."
"Well, I reckon if that's what you want, you ought to go after it." Joe told him. "But remember one thing. It takes money to settle down like that."
"Yeah, I made fair money and then we get to the end of a trail drive and I blow it all before I even get back home."
