He shrugged. “Home I guess. Got a set of blueprints due in a couple of days, guess I’ll work on them a while then hit the sack early.”
Coach slapped him on the shoulder. “Sounds good. I like to see my players avoiding the temptation to drink and party. In fact, I’m thinking about starting a Bible study for those interested. You game?”
OK, God, You can’t make it any clearer than that, Brett thought. “Sure, text me the deets and I’ll be there.”
Coach’s pleasure at Brett’s answer was obvious in the way he smiled and shook hands again before continuing on to his own car.
Brett climbed into his truck, surprised and awed at how God had shown Himself so clearly that afternoon.
****
Sandi’s heart curled into a tiny wad of fear when her phone vibrated and her father-in-law’s name flashed on the screen. Before she could decide whether to answer, her guidance counselor walked out of the office and summoned her. Sandi pressed the button to send the call to voicemail, stood and followed the lady into her office.
Two hours later, she rushed home, excitement replacing every other emotion in her sphere. The counselor had listened, more than listened, she’d understood, Sandi’s need for expression and love of the written word. Together they’d outlined a plan to change Sandi’s degree program to a Bachelor’s of Fine Arts with emphasis on writing. She’d suggested Sandi continue with her art and graphics design classes and recommended a couple of electives in Theology and Religious Science. She had even gone so far as to research websites, journals and periodicals through which Sandi could begin writing for both name recognition and income. She couldn’t wait to tell Karla!
She’d barely pulled into the drive when Brett’s father called again and Sandi realized she’d forgotten to listen to his earlier voice mail. “Hello, Jack.”
“Hi, Sandi gal! How’s that beautiful granddaughter of mine?”
“She’s teething so a bit uncomfortable, but other than that Candie’s fine. How are you and Martha?”
“We’re doing great. Listen, sweetie, Brett told us y’all are having a bit of a spat. Not going to pry, but Martha and I want you to know we’re here for you, and if you need anything at all, you be sure and call. Y’hear?”
Sandi thanked him and rang off then ran into the house to hug her daughter and share her news with Karla.
****
Brett sat with five of his teammates at Coach’s house for the second week in a row as the group continued to study First Corinthians. As they embarked on chapter thirteen, he began to see how much he’d lacked in showing Sandi true love. The deeper they delved into the scriptures on love, the more convicted he felt. Convicted and convinced his father had been right. He needed to get to the root of his feelings, sort them out and then have a heart to heart conversation with his wife.
****
Sandi read 1 Corinthians 13 for the hundredth time, maybe thousandth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails.
She loved that Scripture; it’s what had kept her hanging on through her rocky marriage to Brett. Those words gave her hope and kept her faith alive during the roughest patches of learning to be a wife and mother. Through it all she hung on, believing that ‘What God has joined together let no man put asunder.’ But this time, instead of hope, Sandi felt an overwhelming depression settle in her heart. She still had no idea where her marriage was headed. Although she kept up with Brett’s football team via the newspaper, radio and Internet, she had yet to attend a game. She’d stuck to her vow to let Brett live his dream while she pursued hers.
Still she wondered and worried, and, in the deepest part of her heart and soul, she missed him. Terribly. So what if they’d done it all wrong? They got pregnant before the wedding and had a baby instead of honeymoon. Those weren’t reasons enough for the marriage not to work. But it hadn’t. They’d sinned, and the wages of sin was death. In this case the possible death of their marriage.
No! I won’t believe that! Her heart cried out in denial. Jesus overcame death on Calvary. She’d asked His forgiveness for her sin of the flesh long ago, and she knew without a doubt that her pre-marital choices would not condemn her marriage. Jesus had washed away those sins.
Sandi firmly believed in His resurrection and hoped for the resurrection of her marriage. Biting back tears of frustration, she read the scripture again and prayed.
God, please show me what to do, how to work this out. But more than that, Father, please show me how to pull myself out of this pit of despair.
“I put before you life and death, therefore choose life.”
The words echoed in her heart on the heels of that still, small Voice in her soul and Sandi knew what she had to do; she had to make a choice; the choice to move on or wallow in depression and self-pity for the rest of her life. She had to decide and accept joy over despair, peace over anger, love over bitterness and hate. She had to choose to climb out of the pit of death and celebrate life.
Looking around she realized Easter was fast approaching and neither she nor Karla had even talked about decorating. Putting her Bible aside, she sought Karla and asked about decorations for the upcoming holiday.
Karla shrugged. “I’ve never decorated for any holiday except Christmas, but if you want to run to the store and pick some up, I’ll keep an eye on Candie.”
Grateful for the reprieve from her thoughts, Sandi vowed not to worry over what looked like an incredible lack of progress in the situation and did her best not to dwell on the possibility of an answer she didn’t want to hear.
****
Brett drove by Karla’s apartment complex. Heart pounding, he realized how much he missed his wife and daughter. He missed Sandi’s gentle strength, her kindness and generous heart, and he missed his daughter. He’d done some serious soul searching in the past couple of weeks. That, along with counseling sessions with his coach and parents, he understood the magnificence of his errors and wondered if Sandi would ever forgive him much less consider reconciliation.
He knew there was only one way to find out, but pride and fear kept him lodged within the confines of the vehicle. He began to pray, really pray, repenting and surrendering and pleading with God for a second chance.
A movement at the corner of his eye caught his attention. Brett watched as a car like Sandi’s made a pass through the parking lot and then pulled into a vacant spot two rows up on the right. His heart lurched when he saw her disembark with two shopping bags in each hand.
Now’s your chance!
Without stopping to second-guess himself, he picked up the spray of Easter lilies he’d brought in case he got up the nerve to approach her and opened his car door while calling her name.
She turned, and an assortment of emotions flitted across her features. The door opened behind her and Karla stepped out.
“Everything all right out here?”
“I’d like to talk to Sandi, if it’s OK with her.”
Sandi eyed the flowers in his hand then gave Karla the bags and murmured something to her. Karla acknowledged the words with a nod, took the packages, and went back inside.
Brett held the bouquet toward her. “I know these are your favorites. Hope you don’t mind that I picked them up.”
She buried her nose in the fragrant blooms then raised her gaze to his once more. “What are you doing here, Brett? I haven’t seen or heard from you in weeks.”
“I’d hoped we could go to church together Sunday.”
“I thought your games were Friday, Saturday and Sunday.”
“They normally are, just not on Easter Sunday. I know we haven’t gone to church much through the years of our marriage, but I’ve been attending a Bible study with the coach and some of the team members, and I figured this was a good time to start going again. I’d like to take you and Candie with me then maybe out to lunch so we can talk. Karla is welcome to come along if you and she want it that way.”
“I’m sorry, Brett, but we’ve alr
eady made plans with our families to have lunch and an Easter egg hunt for the little ones. You’re welcome to join us though.”
Brett bit back his disappointment. The last thing he wanted was a family outing when he hadn’t been part of the familial unit for months. “How about an early breakfast, then church? I promise to get you back in plenty of time for the festivities you’ve planned. I’d really like to talk to you, Sandi, to apologize for the way I’ve treated you and to see if there’s a chance of you coming home.”
He reached for her, and she stiffened. Hope and despair collided on her face, churned into anger. Color exploded in her cheeks. She jerked away. “You think it’s that easy, Brett? Just bring a bunch of flowers and sweet talk your way back into our good graces after all this time? You’ve a lot of nerve thinking that.”
“I don’t think that at all, Sandi. Easter’s a time of resurrection, reconciliation, and restoration. I’d hoped we could at least start to work out our differences, most of which, I know are my fault. Have you hardened your heart so much that I don’t even stand a chance?”
Her sigh spoke volumes. Tears rushed to her eyes and tore at his heart.
“I’ll have breakfast and go to church with you, Brett, and we’ll talk, but it’ll take more than one discussion to resolve our differences.”
He touched her cheek, thrilled when she didn’t pull away this time. “I agree, but the way I see it, one conversation is a step in the right direction. Shall I pick y’all up or do you want to meet me?”
“Text me the time and place and we’ll meet you.”
“Thank you,” he whispered then turned and walked back to his car.
****
Sandi gazed at the star-studded sky at four-thirty Sunday morning. Her conversation with Brett and subsequent chat with Karla the evening before had rolled around in her brain all night, making for a restless slumber. The way he’d looked, all healthy and athletic, those moss green eyes pleading and sincere, his thick auburn hair mussed as though he’d raked his hands through it as he always did when tired or upset, had her lifelong dream of being a wife and mother reasserting itself in her mind. However, it clashed with the new goals she’d set for herself. She turned away from the window, checked on her daughter, and then picked up her journal and the baby monitor and tiptoed into the sunroom. After lighting the candles, she knelt to pray then sat to wait on the Holy Spirit for guidance and direction. As she prayed, words of wisdom, peace and love flowed into her heart and she recorded them onto the pages of her prayer journal. She stayed in prayer long moments after the messages stopped, assured of what she had to do and the strength to do so.
She had to stay strong and remain true to herself. She had to honor her plans and dreams and place as high a value on them as she did her husband’s and daughter’s. With this resolution in mind, she showered and dressed and had Candie ready to meet Brett when his text message came through.
****
Brett met Sandi when she pulled into the parking lot and opened the door so she could step out of the car. The light gray skirt and blazer with lavender blouse and bold print scarf brought out the smoke in her eyes and clung to her shapely form in a way he hadn’t paid attention to in quite some time. Her luscious wheat colored hair fell in soft waves across her shoulders and back. He shut her door then opened the back passenger one so she could get Candie out of the car seat. The moment his daughter laid eyes on him she shrieked with pleasure and struggled while her mother tried to unfasten the straps across her shoulders and legs.
Brett placed a hand on Sandi’s back. “Let me get her.”
Sandi moved out of the way and let him gather Candie up in his arms, her childish gibberish filling him with a mixture of joy and guilt. The family made their way into the restaurant and waited to be seated.
Once settled, he reached for Sandi’s hand. “Thank you for agreeing to this.”
“Thank you for inviting us. I won’t pretend I’m not surprised considering the lack of communication between us.”
Before he could say more a waiter appeared to take their drink orders. Each took a few moments to peruse the menus and knew what they wanted to eat when he returned. That taken care of, Brett once again reached for Sandi’s hand.
“I know I’ve been a jerk for a long time Sandi, and I’m sorry. I’ve been so disappointed in the way my life turned out that I turned a blind eye to the blessings. That’s no excuse, I know, but the truth nonetheless. I’ve missed you and Candie. I didn’t realize how much until lately, and I’d really like for the chance to be the kind of husband you deserve and father she needs.”
“That’s all fine, good and well, Brett, but like I said last night, it’s going to take more than one conversation for us to work out our differences. I’ve done a lot of soul searching and growth and I can’t, correction, I won’t go back to being a silent partner in a one sided relationship. I deserve more from you and from myself.”
“I understand and agree. Let’s just take it one day, one step at a time.”
Their food arrived and put an end to further conversation as each concentrated on eating while they took turns making sure Candie ate more food than she wore. When the plates were empty and stomachs appeased, Sandi requested a refill of her coffee. She smiled her thanks when the waiter poured a fresh cup and then returned her attention to Brett.
“The Mudbugs seem to be doing well for their first season.”
He looked surprised. “I didn’t know you were keeping up with the team.”
She shrugged. “I catch the scores on TV.”
“If you ever want to attend a game, I can make sure you have tickets at the box stand.”
“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” Sandi glanced at her watch. “We’d better get a move on if we don’t want to be late for church.”
They gathered their things and left the restaurant.
After church services were over, Sandi reiterated her invitation for Brett to join the family lunch and Easter egg hunt. Not wanting to intrude but desiring more time with them, he agreed but vowed to himself he’d leave at the first indication of anyone’s discomfort.
****
Three months later
Karla tipped her wine glass against Sandi’s in a toast. “Words seem inadequate at expressing how proud of you I am.”
Sandi sipped the cool, white liquid then smiled over the rim of her glass at her cousin. “Nor are they adequate to show my love and appreciation for all you’ve done for me. You’ve supported me in more ways than one and I’ll be forever grateful.”
“I’m just glad to see you sticking to the program and continuing to work on your path of healing and growth. I wasn’t sure with Brett back in the picture you would.”
Sandi sipped her wine in silence, her mind wandering back over the time since she and Brett met for breakfast Easter morning. “There’s been a lot of changes in a few short months, hasn’t there?”
Karla nodded. “I’m really surprised, and pleased. I never thought Brett would step up to plate. I’m glad I was wrong.”
Sandi cocked her eyebrow and waited for Karla to elaborate. Her cousin shrugged, obviously disconcerted with Sandi’s scrutiny.
“I’ve worked with a lot of people and, well, most men who put sports before their wives and children end up divorced. I was all ready and prepared to help you through that, but now it looks like I won’t have to.”
“We’re not back together completely yet.”
“Yeah, but he’s been the model husband and father for months now. Calling nearly every day, sending financial support, picking Candie up at least once a week after work to spend the evening with her and allowing you time to yourself or for us to have time together. Like now. I hope it’s a permanent change for him and not just a temporary thing to get y’all back.”
Sandi sighed. “So do I. He hasn’t pressured me to come home at all, seems content with the situation as it is for now. We’ve had some really productive conversations lately and he seems to un
derstand that when, if I return, there will be ground rules. I refuse to go back into the same dysfunctional relationship I walked out of.”
“That’s good to hear, Sandi. Just remember, emotional/spiritual healing and growth are lifelong processes. You’ve done some really amazing internal work, and I’d hate to see you backslide. Although that is normal too, being prepared for when it happens is the key to overcoming.”
“Guess we’ll see for sure what his true motives are once football season is over. Who would’ve thought the Mudbugs would go into playoffs their very first season.”
“Does he plan to play again next year?”
Sandi shrugged. “I don’t know. We haven’t talked that far ahead. I’ll graduate in December, which is a miracle in itself. Changing my focus and curriculum turned out to be the best decision I could have made.”
Karla raised her glass again. “Yeah, and your writing has taken on a whole new level of depth and meaning. Thank you, again, for suggesting we collaborate on a book. I’d have never ventured to write one on my own.”
Pleasure shivered though her, excitement rose in bumps on her skin. Sandi leaned forward in her chair to touch her glass against her friend’s. “Maybe that’s something you should work on.” She laughed and gave a wink. “Can you believe how quick and easy it was to find an agent and publisher for this book considering neither of us have written anything of that magnitude before?”
“Hey, your blog is what caught their attention,” Karla said.
“I know, but seriously? Have you ever heard of anything like this happening so fast?”
Karla shook her head.
“I’m forever amazed at how God works and how perfectly all things come together when left in His hands.”
“Never lose that awe and reverence, Sandi, and God will take you places and accomplish things through you that you never dreamed possible.”
****
Brett Edwards knelt in a pew on the eve of Good Friday, awed and humbled at the grace of God and the many blessings which continued to pour into his life, even a year after he’d caused his wife to leave. After the Louisiana Mud Bugs culminated their maiden season with a championship, he’d continued to meet with the coach and team members for Bible study and fellowship. He’d stayed the course in reconciling the mistakes of his past and in becoming the kind of man he, his wife, his parents and his Father could be proud of.
Love in Season Page 8
