“I’ll see what I can do.”
“Excellent.” There were voices in the background, and Turner hurriedly said, “I’ve got to go. Good work, Ms. Diamond. I look forward to hearing from you again very soon.”
The call went dead. Resisting the urge to throw the phone across the room and watch it shatter, Jules slid it back into her pocket. She had bought herself some more time. How much she didn’t know.
Striding over to the treadmill, Jules set a brutal pace. Every time she talked with the woman, she felt the need for a bath afterward. Even though she was doing this for all the right reasons, she still felt disloyal, as if she were betraying Ash instead of helping him.
Going undercover was nothing new for her. She was used to taking on jobs that required gaining intel covertly. Assuming an undercover persona was a routine part of her job. Sometimes, she enjoyed the pretense. Other times, it was monotonous. But it was still just a job. What she was doing here with Ash wasn’t just a job. It was personal, very personal. If she failed…
No, there was no room for failure. Ash deserved justice, and she was going to do whatever it took to get it for him.
* * *
Ash heard Jules enter the hotel room. After a hot shower, he felt calmer, ready to focus on the here and now. He wanted to talk about her nightmares. To find out if she’d had counseling for them, or if she needed counseling now. She’d experienced a traumatic event. If she needed help, he intended to get it for her.
The majority of OZ operatives were military-trained. They had seen war and its aftermath. Just because Jules was skilled in weapons and hand-to-hand fighting didn’t mean she was prepared to deal with the emotions that came with taking a life. That was something each of them had to come to terms with in their own way. If her nightmares were related to what had happened to Renee and Rhinehart, then they needed to be addressed.
She was downing some water when he walked into the living area. When she spotted him, she smiled. “You look like you feel better.”
“Nothing like beating the hell out of something to give you perspective.”
“Agreed.” She headed toward her bedroom. “I’m going to take a shower.”
“Come out when you’re finished. I want to talk to you about something.”
“Anything wrong?”
“No. Not really.” Thinking he’d get a more honest answer from her if he took a direct approach, he added, “We never did talk about your nightmares.”
The smile slid from her face. “There’s nothing to talk about. They happen. I deal with them.”
“So you have them a lot?”
“From time to time. I told you they’re not a big deal and won’t affect my job performance.”
“Your job isn’t in jeopardy, Stone. But if you’re having the nightmares because of what happened at Omar’s, we need to address them. Ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away.”
She came toward him, her eyes gleaming with anger. “Is that right?” Stopping inches from his face, she challenged, “Isn’t that what you did?”
“What are you talking about?”
“The kiss in the shower? You’re just ignoring what happened there.”
“First, I didn’t know that was a problem. Second, if you want to talk about it, then let’s talk about it.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Exactly.” Ash shook his head. “Gotta tell you, Stone, that wasn’t your best deflection.”
Heat sizzling in her eyes, she took a step forward. “How’s this for deflection?”
She was playing games, and while he could appreciate the tactic for what it was, he was also having all sorts of fantasies of letting her get away with it. Her face was flushed with color, and her lips looked tempting and delicious. His mouth watered as he remembered her taste.
“Where you going with this, Jules?”
“Where do you want me to go, Ash?”
He had to give her credit. As other needs made themselves known, his concern for her nightmares was shoved to the back of his mind. Only by concentrating on his responsibilities was he able to keep from grabbing her and showing her exactly where he wanted to go.
“Never figured you for a coward.”
Her head jerked back as if she’d been slapped. “I am not a coward.”
“Oh yeah?” He took the last step and pressed his forehead to hers. “You’re using this thing between us to deflect my questions. That’s beneath you.”
* * *
Jules closed her eyes. She wasn’t sure she’d ever been this ashamed. Ash was right on the money. She was trying to use their attraction to distract him. The passion she felt for Ash was the sweetest, most honest emotion she’d had in years. To manipulate him like this was a huge betrayal to these new, incredible feelings.
She backed-up a step and said, “The nightmares started a few days after I was rescued.” She couldn’t tell him everything, but she could give him this much of the truth. “At first, they were indistinct…blurry. The more I tried to repress them, the stronger and more vivid they became.”
“Did you talk to anyone about them?”
“Yes. More than one. Some suggested hypnosis. Others thought meditation would work. A few wanted to give me sleeping pills or anti-anxiety medication. I didn’t want a pill or an easy answer. I finally found someone who told me what I needed to hear. She said I wasn’t going to get any better until I dealt with my guilt.”
“Guilt?”
“For surviving when so…when April didn’t. Her parents blamed me for what happened. It was hard to deal with.”
“You understand, though, that placing blame is a human reaction that comes from grief. It doesn’t mean you were to blame. People lash out because they’re hurting.”
Yes, she understood that, but when a person was hounded by those grief-stricken people 24/7, the grief that one felt was multiplied greatly. It had been incessant, unending, soul-leaching.
“Jules?”
She brought herself back to the here and now. She needed to end this conversation.
“Yes, I know that, but knowing in your head and feeling it in your heart are often two separate entities.”
“So did you…get over the guilt?”
“Not really, but I learned to work through it.”
“By hunting serial killers?”
“Something like that.”
“Why serial killers?”
Again, she couldn’t tell him the full truth, but she gave him what she could. “I guess because of their arrogance…their selfishness. To take a life simply for enjoyment or out of compulsion is the most evil reason I can imagine. It infuriates me.”
“Can’t argue with you there. So your most recent nightmares…you think they’re related to Renee?”
“Maybe…probably some. They usually come when I’m exhausted. Also, I…” She took a breath and gave him another partial truth. “The man…men who took me, one of them had a knife. I guess using a knife to kill Renee brought back some repressed memories.”
“I’m sorry about that.”
“Don’t be. You were right. She would have killed me if I hadn’t killed her.”
“Thank you for talking with me about it. I know it wasn’t easy.”
“Thank you for listening.”
“Hey, if we don’t help each other out, what’s the point in existing?” He took a step closer and said, “Now, about that kiss.”
Laughing softly, Jules dropped her head onto Ash’s chest. In a matter of seconds, she had gone from sorrow and shame to joy and laughter. Ash had done that for her.
“Sorry, buddy, you had your chance.”
“You’re right.” She felt his mouth touch the crown of her head in a soft, quick kiss. “Go take your shower.”
With reluctance, she pulled away from him. She was at her bedroom door when he called out to her. “Jules?”
“Yes?”
“Give me another chance on that kiss sometime?”
Another surge of happiness flooded through her. “I’d like that.”
As soon as she closed the door behind her, she leaned against it for support. Her legs were suddenly so weak she wasn’t sure she could even make it to the bed before she collapsed. Asher Drake had fascinated her for years, but this man with his strength, courage, and incredible charisma was eons beyond the fantasies she had built up in her mind.
As much as she wanted to deny it, she couldn’t. She was falling in love with him. And though she had little to no experience in gauging a man’s true affection, she couldn’t help but believe he felt something for her. Ash was the most authentic and honorable man she’d ever known. The tenderness in his eyes and the gentle way he treated her were real. The passion between them was both explosive and amazingly exciting. He was the kind of man she’d always dreamed of falling in love with, but she had given up on those dreams as fantasies. This wasn’t a fantasy…this was as real as possible.
But how would his feelings for her change when he learned that she was the reason his wife had died?
Chapter Twenty-Eight
OZ Headquarters
No one would believe this place. Every time Jules rounded another corner, she was amazed at not only how large the facility was, but also the sophistication of the setup. Someone had put an enormous amount of thought into its design.
This was her first official day at OZ, and she was sure her tour guide likely thought her vocabulary was limited to exclamations of “Wow” and “My stars.”
“So what do you think?”
She glanced back at Rose Wilson. She’d heard Rose’s name mentioned numerous times since she’d become an operative and Jules had been looking forward to meeting the woman. She hadn’t been disappointed. Ash had introduced Rose as the person who really ran OZ, and though Rose had smiled, she hadn’t disagreed. With hair as white as snow and kind, discerning eyes, Rose Wilson had the kind of beauty that was both endless and ageless. Jules estimated her age as between forty and sixty, but she wasn’t even sure of that.
As the woman led her through the maze, pointing out what each area was and how it was incorporated into the overall purpose of OZ, Jules began to see what Ash had meant. This woman knew everything about the organization, from everyday minutiae to the big missions.
“This place is amazing. Was all of this built at one time?”
“The original house was built in the fifties and belonged to a rancher. When he died, his only heir didn’t want a ranch, so he sold the house and land to one of those doomsday prepper groups. They’re the ones who added the underground. They grew too large and decided to move to a bigger area. The place stood empty for a long while. Ash bought it and renovated it.”
Jules was surprised that the rancher had left only one heir, as the enormous house included Ash’s office, a large conference room, and five bedroom suites. There was also a large kitchen with every amenity imaginable, as well as a combination living room and den.
She had thought that the house was all there was to see until Rose had shown up at her bedroom door and offered her a tour of the facility.
Standing in the giant communications room, Jules made a slow 360-degree turn. Monitors and computers were everywhere, as were screens of varying sizes. One giant screen covered an entire wall. Five people sat at individual workstations, either typing on their computers or talking on the phone. One of them was Serena, who gave her a quick grin and wave before returning to whatever she was working on at her laptop.
“Kate told me that OZ is bigger than people may think.”
“Takes more than a few people to dig out the intel we rely on for our ops.”
Jules noted that though the entire area was underground and therefore didn’t have windows, the lighting gave off a glow like natural light. Paintings and thriving plants were placed strategically to enhance the area. What should have been dark and depressing was actually a nice, sunny-looking work area.
“How long have you been with OZ?”
“From the beginning. I was working for a tech company in New York. Ash offered me a job, and I’ve never looked back.”
Jules wanted to ask more, but didn’t want to sound like an inquisitor. So far, Rose had been amazingly open, but Jules knew that the majority of people working for OZ did so in anonymity.
Leaving the op center, they headed down a long hallway, back to where the tour had begun.
“Your room okay?”
“It’s lovely. Whoever decorated the place is very talented.”
A smile curved Rose’s mouth. “Thank you. I never got to explore those talents in my previous career. Ash gave me carte blanche to decorate as I wanted.”
They stopped at the door they’d entered through, and Rose tilted her head toward a set of double doors. “Through there is a gym, swimming pool, rec room, and an indoor shooting range. Feel free to use them anytime.”
Though tempted to explore more, Jules resisted and walked out into the sunlight with Rose. The facility’s double doors blended into the forest so well, only a person who knew what they were looking for would be able to find the place.
“What happens when there’s a heavy snow?”
“We do what we can. Many of us can work from home if necessary. But if they get snowed in here, there are barracks where they can stay.”
“I probably need to take some time this afternoon and look for an apartment in town.”
“Ash told me you wanted to do that, but there’s no real hurry, unless you’re adamant about it. You’re the only one living in the house right now.”
“Ash doesn’t live there?”
“No. He’s got a house a couple of miles away.”
Having a little additional time to look for an apartment would be good, but she had an ingrained need for privacy and her own things.
“If there’s nothing going on this afternoon, maybe I’ll go—”
Rose glanced down at her watch and shook her head. “Looks like that’s out. Ash has called an ops meeting for two o’clock.”
Jules looked at her own watch. She had yet to get used to the way Ash and the team communicated with each other. Sure enough, the text indicator light was on. She touched the screen, and Ash’s words appeared. The text was short and terse, giving an impression of urgency.
Ops meeting. 14:00. Mandatory.
Since that was a half hour from now, she thought to go back inside and take a look at the gym. That idea disappeared when another text message appeared on her screen, this one from Ash but only to her.
Jules, need to see you ASAP. My office.
Despite all the stern warnings she’d given her heart over the last couple of days, she couldn’t keep it from leaping with joy. Excusing herself from Rose, Jules took the path back to the main house. The closer she got, the less excited she became. What if he had found out something? She knew she was living on borrowed time, but had hoped to have more. After seeing the inner workings of OZ intel, she knew that time might be even shorter. OZ had ways of finding information people didn’t want discovered.
She and Ash had stayed in the hotel two more days after their discussion of her nightmares. Apparently wanting to make sure things weren’t awkward between them after that, he hadn’t asked any questions more personal than what she wanted from room service and what kinds of movies she liked.
She was aware that Ash had worked most of the time they were there, either on his phone or laptop, but in the evenings, they would watch television or a movie. It had been a relaxing, stress-free time and just what she had needed to recover. Her injuries were almost completely healed, and her nightmares had even gone away.
Spending that extra time with Ash had only increased her awareness of him and how silly and hopeless those feelings were. That didn’t keep them from occurring, though, and she had treasured those days of peaceful bliss.
As she knocked on the door, she couldn’t help but wonder if the peace was at an end.
* * *
Ash watched J
ules as she entered his office. The downtime had made a big difference in her appearance. The recovery time at the hotel had been the right thing to do. The news he was about to impart might change that healthy glow, which was exactly the reason he wanted to see her before the ops meeting.
“Heard you got a tour of OZ. What do you think?”
“It’s phenomenal, as is Rose.”
“Yeah, she is. Don’t know what we’d do without her.”
“This might be a totally inappropriate question, but where did you get the funding for all of this? The communications center alone has to be worth millions.”
“Several. We’ve built it up over the years. We started with our savings, some personal loans. Some life insurance policies. Whatever we could get together. Some of our jobs have included a nice paycheck. We put as much as we can back into the organization.”
“We?”
“The six of us who started OZ. Xavier, Sean, Gideon, Liam, and Hawke.”
“Hawke?”
“We lost him a few years back.”
“I’m sorry.”
Ash accepted her condolences with a nod. Only a handful of people knew the full story of what really happened to Hawke. He didn’t like keeping secrets from his team, but in this he’d had no choice.
“So you’ve been friends with them a long time?”
“Yeah. When you almost die with someone, you form a bond.”
“A band of brothers?”
“Something like that.”
“You’ve managed to do a lot with OZ in a relatively short period of time.”
“We’ve been lucky.” He nodded to the chairs in front of his desk. “Have a seat. We have a situation I want to discuss with you.”
She came toward him, and though she was smiling, he saw something in her eyes that told him she wasn’t as relaxed as she was trying to appear.
As soon as she was seated, he walked around the desk and sat in the chair beside her. “I need your honest answer about something.”
“Okay…yes…of course.”
MERCILESS Page 19
