“And keep me out of prison.”
“Prison or worse.” Kate shook her head. “I saw what you did to Clark. The man deserved every broken bone and laceration he received, but going after a US senator with that same kind of mercilessness wasn’t going to fly.”
“I’d like to think I would have been a bit more subtle than that.”
“Normally, yes, you are, but not when it comes to those you care about. The people of OZ are your family. I couldn’t take the chance that you’d go after her. We were too close to getting what we needed.” She shrugged. “I’m sorry it got so screwed up. And I’m very sorry you and Jules got hurt.”
Before he could respond to that, she added, “If it makes you feel any better, it was never my intent that Jules should work for you. She was supposed to tail you and feed Turner basically junk that we manufactured to keep her satisfied.”
For the first time, she saw the beginnings of a smile in his eyes. “Jules told me she has a problem with following orders.”
“She told the truth there.” Kate sighed. “And I certainly never anticipated there would be an attraction between you two.”
“So you don’t think that was a ploy, too?”
“That would be a one-thousand-percent hell no.”
Ash shoved his fingers through his already shaggy hair, making Kate want to smile. The first day she’d met him, she’d advised him he didn’t look like an FBI agent. Instead of being insulted, he’d thanked her for her kind words. She’d sputtered out a surprised laugh, and they’d been friends ever since.
“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know what I am anymore. I don’t know who she is.”
“Yes, you do. There may be secrets between you, but not in that. Don’t lose the best thing to have happened to you in years by letting your pride get in the way.”
Ash nodded and then checked his watch. “We’d better go. Lawrence is expecting us in half an hour.”
“So are we okay, here?”
“Yeah, I’m still pissed, but we’re okay.”
Relieved, she headed for the door. “Pissed, I can handle. Now let’s go get some answers.”
Chapter Forty-One
Flagstaff, Arizona
Ash stood at Jules’s door and knocked. He still had questions, and yeah, he was still angry, but he needed to make sure she was okay. Whether she would let him in was anyone’s guess.
He had given a lot of thought to what she had done and why. He knew more than most about what John Leland Clark had done to her. He had read her file, seen the photos, read her testimony of the events. Clark had brutalized and tortured her for weeks. And when she’d finally been able to escape, she had returned home to face a new nightmare. The bastard had used social media like a master, keeping her in the limelight and making her look like an accomplice. It hadn’t been enough that he’d killed her parents and taken her innocence. He had almost taken her sanity.
Comparing the broken, defeated young woman she’d been then to the warrior woman Jules Stone was today was almost impossible. They were two different people. What she had been able to overcome and accomplish was nothing short of a miracle.
The doctor Ash had sent to her had reported that other than exhaustion, she was physically sound. And Jazz had said that though she seemed sad and sorry for how things had turned out, she appeared to be emotionally well.
But he needed to see for himself.
After he’d left Kate in Key West, he’d been set to fly back to Slovakia when he’d learned that Jules had taken a flight back to Arizona. Even though he’d told her to stay out of sight, he couldn’t blame her for wanting to go home.
The interview with Lawrence hadn’t been the major breakthrough they’d hoped for. The answers they were seeking hadn’t been there, at least nothing concrete that they could take to the Justice Department. But Lawrence had given them leads, and that was more than they’d had before.
While Lawrence claimed to be all sorts of sorry that he’d left men to die that day, Ash couldn’t help but believe that the man was just all sorts of sorry that he’d been found.
He raised his hand to knock again when the door opened, and Jules stood before him. Though her attire of jeans and sweatshirt were casual, there was nothing relaxed about her demeanor.
“Hello, Ash.”
“Can I come in?”
Still holding the door open, she took a step back. “Of course.”
She had once described the house as an old Victorian fixer-upper. The description was apt, but it was obvious she’d put a lot of time and money into making it into a home.
As the door closed behind him, he turned to face her. There were a lot of things he wanted to say, so many questions he still needed to ask. Instead of doing either, he held out his hand.
Tears pooling in her eyes, she took his hand, and Ash pulled her into his arms and held her. Yeah, it was a stupid-ass thing to do, but he couldn’t think of anything he wanted more. She felt perfect in his arms, and for the first time in days, Ash drew in an easy breath.
“I’m so sorry, Ash.”
“Don’t, Jules. Not yet. Let me just hold you. I haven’t slept in two days, and don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like hell.”
Burying her face against his chest, she gave a laughing sob.
“Where’s your bedroom?”
“Upstairs.”
Releasing her, he held out his hand to her again. When she took it, he knew she was giving him more than her hand. She was giving him her trust, telling him she knew he wouldn’t hurt her.
Letting her lead the way, he followed her up the stairs and into the bedroom. He paid no attention to décor. His only focus was Jules and the king-size bed in the middle of the room. He stripped off his clothes, and though she did nothing but just stand there and watch him, he knew it wasn’t because she was shy. She was waiting. Naked now, he moved to her and pulled the sweatshirt over her head. She unzipped her jeans. When she was nude, he led her to the bed and pulled back the covers. She got in, Ash followed. Wrapping his arms around her, he kissed her forehead and whispered, “Sleep.”
Ash waited until he felt her relax in his arms, and then he followed her into sleep. Their problems would still be there when they woke, but for now, he had everything he needed.
* * *
Waking in Ash’s arm was a surreal moment that she never wanted to end. Of all the things she’d thought he would do when he saw her again, this hadn’t been one of them. But she’d seen in his eyes that he was at his limit. Since she’d hit hers days ago, falling asleep in each other’s arms was exactly what they’d both needed.
The last couple of days had been an exhausting whirlwind of emotions. From devastation to grief and now to elation. Maybe she was reading too much into this, but a man didn’t fly halfway across the country, strip you naked, and let you fall asleep in his arms if anger was the only thing driving him.
Okay, yes, Ash was a sexual, sensual man, and lying naked in each other’s arms would likely lead to other things, but that wasn’t what she’d read in his eyes last night. Need had been there, but not in the usual way. He’d been hurting, and instead of staying away from her, he’d come to her. That had to mean something.
“Loud thoughts for this early in the morning.”
She turned her head slightly and looked up at him. His eyes were half closed, his sensual mouth slightly turned up. It would take a stronger woman than she to resist the temptation. Stretching slightly, she pressed a soft kiss on his mouth. “Good morning. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t. I’ve been awake for a while.”
“Feel better?”
“Some.” Startling her, he rolled on top of her and slid into her with one smooth move. “That’s much better.”
Her brain might have had questions about what was next for them, but her body had no such problem. She was slick and ready for him, the man she loved and adored with all her heart.
> Wrapping her legs around his hips, she looked up at him. “What now?”
“Now we show each other that, no matter what, we are one.”
“Ash,” she whispered, “I love you.”
Tears poured from her eyes and Ash wiped them away. “And I love you. I didn’t realize how much until I thought you betrayed me.”
“I’m so—”
He pressed his fingers to her lips. “No more apologizing. We’re on the same page now. That’s all that matters.”
Her heart so full it could burst, Jules pulled his head down and kissed him, showing him the love she’d held in her heart for so long.
They made love the way it was meant to be made, their bodies moving as one. One heart, one mind, one body.
* * *
“If you ever decide you don’t want to be an OZ operative, you could open up a pancake house and make millions.” Ash said this as he shoveled another giant forkful of pancakes into his mouth.
Beaming, Jules glowed with happiness. If he had wondered what all the secrets she was keeping from him had been doing to her, her expression answered his question. Never had he seen her so relaxed and at peace.
When he’d arrived on her doorstep, none of this had been on his agenda. He’d wanted to make sure she was okay, and then he’d wanted answers and explanations. All of that had changed when he’d seen her face. If there had been anyone who felt more miserable than he had, it was Jules. And in that moment, he had wanted nothing more than to make her stop hurting.
This strong, beautiful, vulnerable, incredible woman with a mountain of secrets and a spine of steel had captured his heart. Seeing her in pain was something he could not abide.
Love had happened quickly this time. With Meg, it had grown through the years, first with friendship and then love. Back then, they’d had everything in common, and it had worked. But after Colombia and Syria, nothing had been right. Meg had still been the same person. She’d had every right to expect Ash to be the same, too. But he hadn’t been.
In Jules, Ash recognized a soul mate—the other part of him. The hurt she’d suffered matched his own, and his soul reached out for her. He wasn’t much into woo-woo stuff, but his feelings for Jules were about as magical and mystical as he’d ever gotten.
“You want more pancakes?”
Ash shook his head. “Twelve’s my limit.”
“When’s the last time you ate?”
He shrugged. “I actually don’t know.”
Looking down at her half-eaten pancake, she sighed. “Guess you had other things on your mind.”
The mood had shifted from light to dark in seconds. As much as he’d like to continue talking lighthearted gibberish, he couldn’t. They still had a ton of things to get through. Their connection had been reestablished, and their foundation was firm. They would start from there.
Grabbing her hand, Ash pulled her with him into the den. Settling on the sofa, he tugged until she sat down beside him. “Let’s get it all out in the open, the good and the bad.”
“Ask me anything.”
“Maybe you could just start from the beginning.”
“You probably know most of that already. Kate helped me start a new life.”
“Yeah. And it all makes sense now. You were being tortured not only by Clark, but by people looking for someone to blame.”
“I couldn’t go anywhere…even another state. My face was all over the national news.”
“You could have just disappeared. Changed your name, your face, and gone on with your life.”
“That’s what Kate suggested, but I thought if Clark believed I was dead, he would stop killing.”
“I’m sure Kate told you that wouldn’t work.”
“Yes.”
“Clark got off on killing. You had nothing to do with it. He was going to kill whether you were alive or not. Blaming you was just another way of torturing you.”
“I know that now. A part of me knew that then, but I had to try.”
“So Kate helped you fake your suicide.”
“Yes. If not for her, it probably would have been a real one. I just couldn’t take it anymore.”
Ash held her close, understanding exactly what she meant. She had endured hell at the hands of John Leland Clark. In Ash’s estimation, there was no hell hot enough for the bastard.
“So once you had your surgeries, you could’ve done anything. Instead, you became a badass.”
She released a laughing sob. “Not feeling too badass at the moment.”
“That’s okay. Even badasses need to mellow from time to time.”
She pressed a kiss to the hollow of his neck in appreciation.
“So you and Kate cooked up the scheme of Jessie Diamond. I’m still not sure what you hoped to accomplish.”
“Kate learned that Turner’s ambition stretched much further than a Senate seat. She’s made several enemies over the years, and one by one they seemed to be fading away. The man who took over her tech company trash-talked her to the media. She never responded to his insults, and they basically died down. He was killed in a one-car accident while on vacation in Miami.”
“I remember that, but people get killed in accidents all the time. Kate and I discussed it. We both agreed it could be a coincidence.”
“That’s true, but three other people with varying grudges against the senator all suffered a major loss in the last year. That’s more than a coincidence. That’s a pattern.”
“I’m aware of all of them. I knew she was coming after me. That’s why we were scrambling to find something.”
“And that’s where I came in. She was looking for a way to ruin you. Infiltrating OZ was the next step. Kate and I agreed that if we got there first, we could control the intel.”
“Kate said you were supposed to tail me, not ask for a job.”
“Yeah, well… That was the plan, until I met you.”
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”
“For a lot of different reasons, but one of the biggest was because I knew Turner would be impressed. She knew infiltrating OZ would take time. I wanted to show her how talented I was. If she believed I was that good, that might buy us a little extra time. Also,” she threw him a wry grin, “I didn’t expect you to confront me about following you. I had to regroup and roll with the moment.”
“That was a dangerous thing for you to do.”
She shook her head. “Turner wouldn’t have hurt me as long as she didn’t find out the truth.”
“I’m not talking about Turner. I’m talking about OZ. You infiltrated an organization filled with elite spies who could kill you in a thousand different ways. You took a hell of a risk.”
“I needed to do something to help.”
Remembering the conversation he’d had with Kate, Ash shifted Jules in his arms so he could see her face. “Why? You felt guilty about Meg, or you were grateful that I’d caught Clark?”
“Both reasons and a million more.”
“First, you have no reason to feel guilty about Meg. We’ve already established that Clark enjoyed killing.”
“But if I—”
“You were a traumatized young woman who’d lost her parents in a horrific way and had been brutalized and tortured for weeks. I do not blame you. There is no sane person in this world who would ever blame you.”
“Intellectually, I know that, but there’s still the what-if factor.”
“What-ifs are bullshit. It’s the what’s next that matters. You turned your life into something remarkable.”
She pressed a palm to his face in a gentle caress. “Thank you, Ash.”
He kissed her forehead. “Kate told me you were grateful that I captured your boogeyman.”
“I was…I am.”
“I’m no hero, Jules. I’m just a man who does what he has to do.”
“Forgive me if I disagree.”
“This thing between us…it can’t survive if you put me on some kind of pedestal. I’m about as far from perfect as a man c
an get.”
Understanding dawned in her eyes, but instead of denying his words, she smiled her delight and said, “You’re as stubborn as a whole team of mules, you hog the bedcovers at night, you snore like a locomotive, you desperately need a haircut. And you like snow and cold weather way too much.”
He laughed, but stopped when she placed her hand over his heart and said softly, “And you have the heart of a lion and the soul of a warrior. I love your strength, your courage, your determination. I love that you want to right wrongs. I don’t see you as perfect…I just see you as you are.”
Unable to speak for the lump in his throat, Ash kissed her, letting his lips speak for him. How life had brought them together was still a mystery. Linked by nightmares he wouldn’t wish on anyone, they’d still found each other. If that wasn’t a modern-day miracle, he didn’t know what was.
She pulled away from his kiss and said, “So what now?”
“We keep digging.”
“I have a suggestion.”
“Oh yeah? Then I’m all ears.”
“I’m going to follow her orders. I’m going to kill Asher Drake.”
Chapter Forty-Two
OZ Headquarters
Jules stood in front of the people she’d come to know and trust. These people risked their lives every single day for people who would never know they even existed. They worked hard, felt deeply, and trusted few. She had been the recipient of that rare trust, but it had been broken. She had to fix what she’d damaged.
Ash had offered to stand with her, had even offered to explain for her. She couldn’t allow that. This was on her. If even one of them couldn’t get past the betrayal, she’d already decided she would bow out. The OZ team worked so seamlessly together because of the mutual trust and respect they had for one another. If that was irreparably damaged, then she owed it to the team to leave.
She and Ash had discussed this beforehand. They both knew what could happen. But there was one thing they had assured each other—she would still have Ash, and he would still have Jules. Nothing was going to keep them apart. That would be more than enough for her.
MERCILESS Page 27
