by K Dezendorf
Rose gingerly took it, and it was surprisingly light. “Is it a spell book?”
“Not quite, child. This book is going to help you unlock the ability to access and utilize mana. I want you to breathe in the words. I know that doesn’t make any sense. But I want you to breathe in the words as you’re reading them.”
Billy was right. It did not make any sense. How did one ‘breathe in’ words?
"As you read, focus on inhaling and exhaling. Big, deep breaths. As you do, think about the air. Not just the air, but the mana in the air, coming into you. You hold it in for a second, and you let it back out. Bring it in, let it out. Every time you try to take in just a little bit more.
“You do that up to the point where it starts to hurt, but you do not go past that, because you're just learning to take it in. You're not trying to breathe in the world's worth of air. Just expand your lungs a little. That's all you've got to do."
"Okay. May I start now?"
He smiled. "Yes."
Rose opened the book and began to read. Or at least, she would have, if she understood anything written. Billy said to breathe in the words, but that made even less sense. As she flipped through page after page, her mind wandered. After a while, she began questioning if she was reading the book right. Was she screwing it up? Did she need to start over?
How long had she been doing it? Did it matter how long? Did he have a timer? No they didn't have stopwatches, did they?
She found herself utterly distracted by her own thoughts.
Berating herself to focus, Rose went back to ‘reading’.
It felt like hours worth of trying and trying again, but she managed to calm her mind long enough to feel a new sensation. A compelling force coming and going every time she breathed.
It scared her at first. It was definitely not something she was used to. But there were no explosions, no chairs trying to eat her, so she was able to keep it together. And she learned to welcome it, and a little more swelled in, and she let it back out. And a little more swelled in, and she let it back out.
Macklass had once told her what it had been like when he first learned to cast magic. He had explained it as learning to truly breathe for the first time. Back then, Rose hadn’t really understood what he’d meant. She did now. It was like she’d spent her whole life wearing a cloth over her face, and now it was lifted and she was breathing clearly. Like she’d been half asleep, and now she was wide awake. Like she’d been wearing heavy weights that dragged her down, and now they were gone and she was light enough to leap over a mountain if she wished. It wasn’t just air she was breathing, but something more. Something intangible but very much alive. It was breath. It was warmth. It was life. But above all, it was hers.
The mana ran through her and she welcomed it, letting it fill her. It swelled inside her and she felt a tightness, like a balloon ready to pop.
None of it made sense to her. Not one bit. However, as she kept reading, things became clear. Little things at first. Like why the air and water flowed or why earth waited and fire never did. Steadily her head was filled with the inner and outer workings of the elements both physical and not. And what didn't make any sense suddenly made perfect sense. It was all interwoven and intertwined like a tapestry; she’d only been focusing on a single thread but now she could see all of them. She knew how to move mountains and call up storms. She could feel the world around her, a living beating thing, with so many working parts. She could feel herself, a tiny echo of it, with her own little working parts that kept her together. She was a part of the world and it was a part of her.
“Remember to breathe out, child,” Billy’s voice reminded her. “Don’t overfill the cup.”
Rose didn't want to. She didn’t want to let go of this feeling. She didn’t want to go back to feeling tired and weak and suffocating. She wanted to stay like this. Always like this. The tightness grew and she felt Billy grab her by the shoulders. The air left her lungs in a rush, and with it, the mana. All the knowledge, all the understanding, gone. Just like that. Inexplicably, she began to cry, and then laugh. Rose didn’t know what triggered it, but thick tears welled up in her eyes and ran down her cheeks as half hysterical giggles escaped her throat.
“There you go, child,” Billy said soothingly, taking the book from her -which she had somehow finished- and shut it. He set it aside and pulled out a handkerchief for her. Rose accepted it, turning away from him as she dried her face, feeling mortified. “It’s always intense at first,” he explained. “It varies from person to person, but the first time is always an experience. It’s been so long I’d forgotten. I’m sorry for not preparing you.”
Only when she was calm and her eyes were dry did she dare look at him. “Did you cry?”
“Like a babe,” he said with a rueful smile.
Rose wasn’t certain how truthful he was being, but at the very least it made her feel less embarrassed. She noticed not all the mana had gone from her. There was still some left and it had settled itself inside of her, making itself at home. While she no longer felt super human, she didn’t feel like her old self either. Something had changed.
“What was that book?” she asked.
“As I said, it’s a tool to unlock your magical potential. You’re lucky Dimitri had his own copy. I doubt anyone else would have sanctioned this.” He tucked the book into his bag with a hefty sigh before turning back to her. “So, now that you’ve got some mana in you, we can begin practicing your casting."
Rose let loose the breath she'd just pulled in, both her body and mind still in wonder and awe. “So what magic will I be learning first?” she asked eagerly.
“The first magic I will be teaching you is mind magic.”
Rose couldn’t help but ask, “Any particular reason?” She honestly had hoped for another chance to fly.
“I’m going to be teaching you some trade secrets, child. Secrets that I do not want to end up in the wrong hands. Mind magic will help you defend against those who would try to forcibly take that knowledge from you. It will also help you in the long run against the repercussions that time magic can have. Ideally you’ll want to have a toe in most of the magics if you’re able.”
"Mind magic it is then." Really, any magic would be great. “Will I be able to do all those crazy illusions like you did to me?”
"In time, maybe." He went over to a small cabinet and opened it up. "So my method, it's gonna seem weird. Don't knock it though." He pulled out some cards. "Cognition is one of the first things you learn with mind magic, knowing what's happening while it's happening. Like what someone is thinkin’. It's a little different. And I don't know if I have the right terms for you. Not many are good at it."
Let’s hope I can be one of those special few.
Billy came back over to the table and spread the cards out, flipping some of them over to show different symbols painted on them. "So, I have 50 cards with 50 different symbols. I'll choose one without you seeing it. Your job is to tell me what card I’m holding.”
“Could you give me a demonstration?” Rose asked.
“Certainly. You first have to take your breath in, gain your mana.” Billy took a deep breath, and Rose could feel a shift in the air. “Once you have it, you tell it what you want. You want to know what's on that card. So as you let it out, you let it out with the idea that it needs to go into me, into my head, swirl around, see and know what I have in front of me.”
Rose swore she felt an unsettling sensation of something rooting around in her head and she had to remind herself to relax.
“I know it sounds crazy, but watch." He slid the cards over to her. "Choose one, any one. It doesn't matter to me."
Rose took a card. It looked like a pink elephant looking thing.
"You got one you like?" he asked.
"I think so, yeah."
"Pink elephant."
"Yeah, that's right." She laid it down and picked up another. It was a red flower.
Once again, Billy guessed corr
ectly. Rose felt the presence in her mind leave.
"It allows you to see in someone's mind. Mostly surface thoughts. There are more advanced forms of course. But this particular spell type isn't something where you can make someone spill their deepest darkest secrets. But it can be if you make them think about it. So if I was to ask you what your favorite color is, and you think about it, then I can get it.
“You don't necessarily need a willing participant for this spell, but it helps. Especially if they know magic. If they feel mana, they'll know what you're doing. If you do this to some human, they'll think you're amazing. If you do this to Edward…”
“I imagine he wouldn’t be terribly happy,” Rose guessed with a small smile.
Billy chuckled but went serious again very quickly. "So, you have to be careful who you do it to and when you do it.”
“Because other people might realize what I’m doing and inform the other person,” Rose deduced.
“Correct. This spell can also be very misleading. If they know what you're doing they can possibly fool you by thinking of something else. Mind magic is tricky."
"Let's give this a go."
“One more thing,” Billy said, “and I cannot stress this enough. Do not go using this power willy-nilly. Every mage has a responsibility to use their magic appropriately, but some would use it for ill. Dimitri and I are both trusting you not to do the latter.”
So, don’t be a dick. Got it. “I understand.”
“And whatever you do, however far you decide to go with this, stay away from death magic. I’ve touched on just about every magic, save for that one. Nothing good can come from it.”
Rose again thought of Macklass, of the beautiful shadows he would conjure for her enjoyment.
Billy pulled the cards over to him. "All right. We'll take breaks about every hour or so. Try not to get flustered. You're not gonna get many, if any, right. To start with."
"Okay," she said, itching with eagerness.
Over the course of the next several hours, they went through the deck many times over, and not once did she manage a successful guess. He never told her what the card was. He would just say ‘no’ and put it in the 'no' pile before drawing the next card, then repeat the process. And when they'd gone through the entire deck, he shuffled them so they were all mixed up again, never showing or telling her what they were.
It was beyond aggravating.
She just couldn't help but think, how the hell was she supposed to do this?
She was guessing images where she had no idea what they were or what they could be. They could have all sorts of symbols that she didn't know on these cards. How was she supposed to guess?
Her mind was so torn and she couldn't focus. Several times she got flustered, but Billy kept encouraging her to try again. They paused to have a small lunch and they were back at it after.
“Why don’t we take a break from that?” he suggested after another failed attempt.
“I can keep going,” Rose insisted.
“Easy there, child. I’m not saying we need to stop completely, but let’s try something different.” He set the cards aside. “So, you’ve already gotten a start on your awareness of magic. Now I want you to focus on me. Focus on seeing the magic, seeing my aura.”
Rose nodded and did as he instructed. She stared at him, her eyes drifting in and out of focus. It took a while. She had to take a break each time her eyes began crossing, or she started getting a headache. Eventually, she saw it. A faint outline radiating around him, swirls of varying colors, some more vivid than others.
“I can see it,” she said, bouncing in her chair.
Billy chuckled. “All right. I’m going to cast again, and this time, I want you to watch closely. Use your awareness and watch the magic.”
Rose focused her sight until she could see what he was talking about. She saw pearlescent streaks flowing from him towards her. They wrapped around her head, and she once more felt the sensation of her mind being touched on.
“I think I get it now.” Though for all her excitement, she slumped back, feeling drained.
Billy stood from his chair. "Let me go ahead and fix up some dinner for you. Take a breather. Maybe go get some air. Okay?"
Rose took a deep breath, rubbing her aching head. "Okay." She couldn't help but wonder how many days, or weeks, or months she was going to spend guessing pictures.
"Try not to let it get to you, child. It's a long and tedious path. Mind magic is the most boring to learn, at least to start."
Rose sighed and got up from the table. She went to the door and paused, her hand on the handle. “Should I be worried about Gorgers?”
Billy shook his head. “They won’t have made it this far south. Just stay close, don’t go wandering off.”
After agreeing to this, Rose let herself out. Surprisingly enough, she found she was not in a forest. She had that inclination considering the log cabin. Instead she was on a beach a ways away from the water, just shy of the sand line.
The beach was absolutely, breathtakingly gorgeous. Pearl pink sand with wave patterns of magenta and lavender. Turquoise waves gently lapped at the shore, the sound and the motion incredibly soothing. Rose had dreamed of visiting a beach, and now that she finally had, she knew exactly what she wanted to do.
Kicking off her shoes and socks, Rose ran over to the water's edge where the waves were just licking at her bare feet. The water felt pleasantly cool and the sand soft and yielding. The sun was low in the sky on the opposite horizon, telling Rose wherever they were must be an eastern shore. The sand felt amazing between her toes and Rose released a long sigh.
Rose thought about how her training was going. She had to remind herself it was only the first day. She hadn’t really expected to be making things levitate or hurling fire on day one.
She was just worried. Afraid that she might not be good at this, or not good enough. For years she’d thought about learning magic, but she never considered what she would do if she couldn’t.
No, that wasn’t an option. She would succeed at this, one way or another.
Rose crouched down and drew a few squiggles in the wet sand. As nice as the beach was, she wished she had someone there to share it with. Would Macklass or his siblings enjoy the beach? She imagined the four of them in summer swimwear, Macklass hiding under a large umbrella, Jenkto building a sand castle, Jerome and Hadwin playing frisbee. The thought made her giggle.
Pulling out her phone, she turned it on, wanting to listen to one of Macklass’ voicemails. As the screen blinked on, Rose heard a small noise between a squeal and a throaty growl.
A couple yards away, Rose looked to see a small greenish blue, weird looking creature, standing on two legs. It stood about a foot or so in height and stared up at Rose with bulbous eyes. Rose cautiously glanced around but didn’t see anything else.
Looking back at the creature, it had a very wide face that reminded her of a lizard or a frog. Its hands and feet were webbed and its arms, legs, and back were lined with fins. It was standing there looking at her.
“Hey there, little guy,” Rose said warily, shifting her body so she could jump to her feet if needed.
It made a croak and a few popping and clicking sounds.
"Um... come again?"
More pops and clicks, then it approached her.
“Whoa, easy there,” she said, raising both hands to signal for it to stop.
The small thing looked at her hands, or more specifically, the hand holding her phone. In a flash of motion, the small creature snatched Rose’s phone from her hand and took off.
“Wha-- hey!”
Rose hurriedly gave chase. The phone was currently her only link to Macklass. If she lost it… The creature was quick as it skittered along the sand, but Rose went into a full sprint and was able to eventually close the distance. It tried to escape to the water, but she hurriedly cut it off. It veered away, changing its course and Rose continued her pursuit. When she was close enough, she tackled
the thing. It gave another squealing growl as it fought to squirm free, but Rose was able to successfully take her phone back. The creature gave another angry squeal before escaping to the water.
Rose stood up, panting, brushing the sand off her clothes. She checked her phone and was relieved to see it was still intact. Looking around, she saw it was getting dark, and the cabin was nowhere in sight.
Shoot.
Well, not a problem. She could just backtrack. As she turned around, she noticed something coming out of the water. The small creature. Followed by a much bigger version of itself. And the big one was holding a spear. It stood roughly as tall as an average person, though a bit wider and muscular, and the only thing it was wearing were some shells around its neck.
Rose swallowed the lump in her throat.
"Hello."
The creature made several loud popping and clicking noises before pointing its spear at her. She quickly stepped back and it lunged for her.
Rose dodged to the side and ran back towards the cabin, going full speed. The creature took a big leap and came up next to her, taking a swing at her with its spear. She ducked out of the way in time.
However, when she tried to continue running, the creature stabbed at her legs, and her foot caught on the spear, tripping her up. Rose stumbled and she felt the spear stab into her arm. She screamed and as it pulled the spear back she felt her skin tear open.
Rose reached down, grabbing a fistful of sand and throwing it in the creature’s face. It gave a startled yell and rubbed at its eyes, momentarily blinded. Rose turned and continued to run. Her arm was throbbing with pain and she could feel her body starting to slow. Oh, no… What if the spear was tipped with poison?
It was getting difficult to keep her pace, but she'd rather be in pain than die. Rose kept pushing, trying to fight the poison’s effects. She thought she could see the cabin in the distance, but it was getting harder to run and she was slowing down.
Glancing over her shoulder, she saw the creature had recovered and was back on pursuit. The little one was nowhere to be seen. It took another long leap, closing the distance, and sliced at her back. She tried to dodge, and the spear raked along her other arm.
