She’d had a life before she’d come to Cottonwood. Considering her past juvenile record, maybe it hadn’t been such a good one. Maybe she wouldn’t want to remember everything. And what if that old life appealed to her? What if she wanted to return to it?
When he’d first come home to Cottonwood, David had wanted to send Tanya away. He would have done anything to make it happen. Because his feelings for her were all tangled up with the plantation and his father. And she had a way of keeping him on guard all the time. But now the idea of her leaving bothered him more than he wanted to admit. Even to himself.
“Let’s not jump to conclusions,” he told her firmly. “I want you to get a checkup as soon as we return home.”
Home. Tanya blinked. The way he’d said it made her wonder if he was beginning to think of the farm as his home. It was too much to ask for. David was right, though. She needed to be examined by a doctor. Suddenly she sobered. The thought scared her a little. What if she didn’t like the person she’d been? Worse, what if David didn’t? She’d had a checkered past, so she must have lived a wild, maybe even violent life. Would getting her memory back mean losing what she was just beginning with David?
Hours later, Tanya lay in David’s arms, her head resting on his chest as he held her. Being with him felt so right that she couldn’t muster the strength to leave his side. He’d made love to her again, this time using the skill of his hands and mouth to bring her to climax, whispering that she wasn’t ready for anything more strenuous. She’d protested, insisting that she was fine, but he’d been adamant and had shown her other ways to enjoy their intimacy.
Though he’d resisted her attempts at intercourse, what she’d experienced with him had been wonderful and fulfilling. She’d used the same techniques to explore his body that he’d taught her while pleasuring hers, and they’d been exhausted by the time they were finished.
Her body was sore, and though he’d insisted she wasn’t ready to be with him again, she’d wanted him inside her. Making love with him had been wonderful, but it had also forced her to face reality. Which made her think even more about where their relationship was going. Besides beginning a physical relationship, nothing between them had truly changed.
She was hopelessly in love with him.
Believing he was still asleep, she stirred, then began to move away. His hand clamped around her hip, pinning her in place. She looked up at him and smiled. “I thought you were asleep,” she murmured.
He didn’t answer. Instead, he claimed her lips in a long, drugging kiss. “Where are you going?”
“I need to start getting ready,” she told him. “The meeting starts in a couple of hours.”
“Get ready here,” David said, “with me.” He didn’t want her to leave, didn’t want to lose the closeness they’d found.
“I can’t.” She slid her hand over his chest. Enjoying the freedom of touching his body, she ran her finger through the coarse hair there. “My clothes are in my room.”
Together they climbed from the bed, and Tanya was surprised at her lack of inhibition as she stood before him naked. Her gaze slid down his body, and a lump formed in her throat. Her love for him was even stronger now that she knew what it was like to be intimate with him.
“I’ll shower first, if you want, then dress while you’re in there.” She walked around the bed toward him.
He pulled her against him, cupped her breast with his palm. “Let’s shower together.”
Licking her lips, she looked at him. “I have a suspicion that we won’t just bathe,” she whispered, then her lids drifted shut when he began kissing her neck. It took all of her willpower to push out of his arms. “I don’t want to be late.”
He smiled lasciviously. “You’re right.”
Tanya scooped up the dress she’d worn to dinner, then headed to the bathroom. David watched the sway of her hips as she disappeared inside and shut the door. Though he knew that she didn’t want to be late arriving at the meeting, he was damn tempted to interrupt her shower.
About fifteen minutes later, she came out of the bathroom in her dress, her blond hair combed straight. “I’m going to my room to finish getting ready,” she said, slipping on her shoes. She glanced around for her bra and panties, but they were nowhere to be seen. Rather than make an issue of searching for them, she figured she’d find them later.
When she started for the door, David stopped her, pulling her against his hard body. His mouth came down on hers, claiming her lips in a possessive kiss that made her toes curl. “I’ll see you in a few minutes,” she whispered when he lifted his lips.
With reluctance, he let her go. “I’ll come to your room to pick you up,” he told her, kissing her again, then letting her leave.
An anxiousness filled him as he went into the bathroom. It was something intangible, but it was there just the same. He knew it had to do with Tanya’s amnesia, knew that despite his warning for her not to get excited, her memory was returning.
Instead of feeling good for Tanya, he worried about the repercussions. If indeed she was remembering her past, he didn’t want Tanya to be disappointed or upset by what she learned.
Though he doubted what was between them could last, he wasn’t ready to lose her to her former life.
“Are you ready?” David asked a little later, as they waited for the meeting to begin. He thought that he’d had a good idea of what Tanya would face when she’d said she was planning to speak at the committee meeting on soybean farming. She’d explained to him that there would be a large conference room filled with people interested in soybean farming—some who were experienced farmers, and others just here for information.
David shook his head. Now he had a better understanding. The room, reserved in one of the finest hotels in the heart of the District of Colombia, held hundreds of people. At the front, a row of tables divided the group of dignitaries seated behind it from the mass of people in rows of chairs across from them.
Tanya gave him a confident look. “Yes, I’m ready.”
With what he termed a polite smile, she turned her attention to the speaker and looked as if she was straining to hear what he was saying over the murmur in the room from her seat at the back. “Your turn’s coming up next.”
“I know,” she replied, barely glancing at him.
Despite her assurance, he wondered if she knew what she was getting into. She seemed confident, that was obvious. Still, he couldn’t help thinking that although she had a good knowledge of soybean farming, he doubted she had the ability to speak in front of such a large and dignified group. He didn’t want to see her embarrassed or humiliated. His feelings for her had been constantly changing since he’d returned home, and making love with her had only confused him more. But one thing he couldn’t deny. He was beginning to care deeply for her—more than he felt was safe for his heart.
On their way down to the meeting from her room, he’d again offhandedly offered to take her place as the speaker. She’d promptly refused, insisting she could do it. Looking around the room, he couldn’t help but have second thoughts. During the drive to Savannah and during dinner last night, they’d talked in depth about the effect government controls had on soybean farming. He wanted to offer to speak on her behalf again, but he didn’t want to undermine her confidence.
“Are you nervous?” he asked, wondering if she’d even admit it if she was.
Rolling her eyes, she gave him a sidelong glance. “Shh. No, I’m not nervous. When I’m up there, I’ll just imagine you naked,” she told him with a teasing smile.
David leaned very close to her ear and whispered, “Then don’t look at me, because if you do, I may just come up there and drag you back to our room.”
She slid her tongue out of her mouth and slowly traced her lips, her grin wicked. David felt his temperature go up a hundred degrees as she turned her attention toward the front of the room. Trying to concentrate on the speaker at the podium, instead of his hard groin, he listened for a few minutes a
s the man answered a question from one of the senators. Caught off-guard and unprepared, the man stumbled over his response. Becoming even more concerned about Tanya’s turn, David touched her arm. “Are you sure you don’t want me to do this?”
She turned toward him and gave him a tolerant look. “Don’t worry. I know what I’m doing.”
Before he could say anything more, her name was called over the loudspeaker. Tanya stood and made her way to the front of the room. David watched her in awe, her graceful stride holding his gaze. She was easily the most beautiful woman in the room. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she stepped behind the podium and introduced herself.
At the sound of her voice, a hush fell over the crowd. David glanced quickly around him and noticed that all of the participants had turned their complete attention to her. She began to speak, her voice eloquent, her tone firm. David listened to every word and was impressed by her ability to get her point across. Poised and confident, she fielded question after question by the government officials, her answers concise, carefully worded and convincing.
David stared at Tanya, his mind spinning. He’d seen women who had attended finishing school, who had earned graduate degrees, who couldn’t speak as well as she could. Where had she learned the skill of public speaking?
Or had she come by it naturally? He couldn’t understand it. From what they’d been told of her background, it just didn’t make any sense.
She left the podium amidst the loud clapping and cheering of the crowd, her smile appreciative and pleasant as she slid into her seat. Still taken aback by her composure, David took her hand, then threaded his fingers between her slim ones. Her amber eyes met his, shining and excited with energy.
“You were amazing!” The word was, of course, inadequate for what he really wanted to say to her. He was ashamed that he’d thought her incapable of carrying this off. She’d done that and much more. With her knowledge of soybean farming, she’d been more effective than he ever would have been. “You practically had the members of congress eating out of your hand.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I think I got my point across. At least, I hope I did.”
“Sweetheart, I watched them. You did a hell of a lot more than that. It was obvious by their expressions that they were really impressed.” He hesitated. “Hell, I’m impressed,” he admitted as they waited for the next speaker to begin.
Her smile was indulgent. “You thought I’d fall on my face?”
“Not exactly, but I’ll admit that I was worried. Now I see that it wasn’t warranted.” He’d been smiling, but his expression sobered. “Tanya, you handled yourself better than many people that went to school to learn to speak in public. Where did you learn to speak like that?”
Pleased by his praise, she blinked. She’d never given any thought as to why she wasn’t hesitant to speak. She’d been more worried about leaving Cottonwood. “I don’t know. I knew what I wanted to say. I’d like to think I don’t intimidate easily.”
David knew that was true. He’d given her hell more than once since he’d returned to Cottonwood, and she’d held her own against him every time. Was her ability to speak publicly in a professional setting yet another peek at her former life? It couldn’t be, he reasoned, because it certainly didn’t correspond with the description of her as a troubled teen.
He was learning that there were many facets to this woman. There was a lot about Tanya that he admired and respected. She was caring and had been fiercely loyal to his father. At every turn, she surprised him with her intelligence and self-assurance. He’d never met a woman he wanted more.
And for the first time, he wondered if he’d be satisfied by an affair.
Eight
“What do you think happened to Senator Danforth?”
Tanya frowned. “I don’t know. I was disappointed that he had to cancel his appearance at the meeting,” she said as she and David lay in bed talking. She slowly ran her hand over his arm. The meeting had ended a little earlier than planned, so they’d collected her things from her room, then had returned to his room with plans to go to the zoo.
They never made it.
David had pulled her against him and kissed her as if he’d been starving for the taste of her. Tanya had quickly forgotten their plans as they began to undress each other. Eager to be loved by him, she planted kisses on his neck and chest as he shed his shirt, then pressed her lips along his belly as he tugged his slacks down. They’d fallen into bed, and this time David hadn’t held back. He’d worshiped her body, then when she was crazy with wanting him, he’d entered her and loved her until she cried out his name.
Now exhausted, they lay in each other’s arms, leisurely stroking each other. Tanya had never been so happy.
“I was disappointed I didn’t get to meet him. There was something strange about him not being there, but I can’t exactly say what makes me feel like that,” she told David. “It was almost as if his presence meant something more than just support for soybean farmers.”
“I’m sure whatever prevented him from attending was important. Probably something pressing that had to do with his Senate seat,” David speculated, noticing that her eyes were actually sparkling. He wondered whether it was from her success earlier in the day or from making love.
Tanya yawned and snuggled closer to him, seeking his warmth. “Probably.”
David smiled down at her. If he could summon the energy, he’d satisfy himself with her body again. While at first shy when making love, she’d quickly become accustomed to him touching her, responding eagerly when he’d stroked her and brought her to climax. She’d become eager to learn and take part in their lovemaking. Tanya was surprisingly passionate, and he was having difficulty keeping his feelings for her under control.
He’d thought that once he’d made love with her he’d be able to get her out of his system. However, the exact opposite was happening. She was all he thought about, and he’d even begun imagining what it would be like if he stayed at Cottonwood.
David wasn’t sure he could do that. The memories of his father were painful. It was hard not to associate Cottonwood with years of disappointment and heartache. He’d always wanted to stay and work the plantation with his father. Now that his father was gone and David could stay, he had a successful business in Atlanta, another life away from the farm.
But Tanya belongs at Cottonwood, a voice inside him whispered. When it came time to leave, would he be able to walk away from her?
Tanya sat in silence as their plane began to make its descent to Savannah International Airport late in the afternoon. As she and David had prepared to leave Washington, uncertainties of where their relationship was going pulled at her. While she was in love with him, his feelings for her were less tangible, and she worried about how they might change when they returned home.
Would returning to the plantation, which held so many unpleasant memories of his father, make David withdraw from her? In Washington, they’d been away from everything that reminded them of Edward’s will and the stipulation that forced David to move back home. How would he feel about her when he was forced to remember his father’s prerequisite to his inheritance? Did he still harbor bad feelings about her being there? Did he still resent her managing the plantation?
He didn’t love her. She wasn’t going to pretend that he did. But he desired her, and she prayed that he might grow to love her if he gave their relationship a chance.
Turning to look at him, Tanya’s heart swelled. She had no idea where their relationship was headed, but she was powerless to protect her heart.
She loved him. So much. Still, she held the words inside, knowing it was a mistake to say them.
David didn’t love her.
He cared for her. He wanted her.
But he didn’t love her.
She wasn’t going to complicate things between them. Wasn’t it possible that one day she’d mean more to him? They had more than eleven months to live together. Their relationship had
been rapidly changing. A week ago she’d believed he hated her, and now they were lovers.
Hope filled her. She’d enjoy the months ahead of her, enjoy being with him.
And maybe one day he’d fall in love with her.
Tanya felt a sense of accomplishment as they arrived back at Cottonwood. In retrospect, she thought it silly that she’d been apprehensive about leaving the farm. Just because something tragic had happened to her once didn’t mean that it would happen again. Still, she was glad to be home.
David got out of the car when she did, and he popped open the trunk and retrieved their luggage. It wasn’t until they went up the stairs that she began to feel a little anxious. He stopped at the top of the stairs and put his own luggage down, then followed her to her room and placed her bags in a corner of the room. They hadn’t talked about the change in their relationship, and she wondered what he was thinking.
She needn’t have worried. He pulled her against him, kissed her hungrily, then told her he was going to put his own things away. Catching her breath, Tanya watched him leave, her heart encouraged.
After unpacking, she went to the office to check the mail. Sharing the space with David had been difficult before they’d left, as she’d tried to do her work when he wasn’t there. Now she walked in, saw him at the desk, and smiled. “I thought I’d call the doctor today and see about getting an appointment,” she told him as she approached him.
David looked up. “Who’s your doctor?”
“I’ve been to Dr. Brewer, your father’s doctor, a few times. I really haven’t had much of a reason to go to a doctor while I’ve been here. Besides the amnesia, I’ve been pretty healthy.”
Terms 0f Surrender (Dynasties: The Danforths Book 11) Page 9
