To all of us who have made it through this pandemic and lived to tell about it, this book is for you.
Amends
A Diana Hawthorne Psychic Mystery
Carissa Andrews
Contents
1. The Oracle of Dead Gods
2. Staring into the Face of Ancient History
3. Freedom Fight
4. Get Up and Own the Damn Day
5. Get Lucky
6. Assistant Divas
7. Trust is more than skin-deep
8. Lost Causes
9. What in God's name?
10. Where the future leads
11. Growing new wings
12. Detour
13. Sorcery Masquerading
14. An Unlikely Place of Respite
15. Maybe tomorrow will be better
16. Hiding from the Horde
17. Enlightenment
18. Into the Future
19. An Agreement Has Been Reached
20. What if I don't wanna?
21. Game Time
22. Training Wheels Off
23. Threats and Promises
24. Team Meeting
25. Immortal
Can’t Wait for More Diana?
Also by Carissa Andrews
About the Author
1
The Oracle of Dead Gods
THERE’S NO WAY IN HELL I’m allowing them to trap me here.
I shiver from the cold sweats brought on by this morning’s vision. They’re coming at me now with more frequency. More urgency.
That’s why I had to get out of the hotel room and go back to the source. I needed to sit inside the vibrations of the temple again, just to be sure.
Luckily, the Temple of Apollo isn’t more than a few minutes from where we’re staying.
I bite my lower lip and clutch the steering wheel tightly.
I’m almost positive I know what the visions mean, but I’m not sure how to lean into them. Not when I’m so close to having everything I’ve ever wanted.
My jaw clenches and I cast a gaze over my shoulder. Blake’s soft breathing pulses up and down softly like a metronome to my very existence. He has no idea what awaits.
There’s movement in the energy around this space. It feels like the old gods are preparing their return and I’ve become the linchpin to their plan.
Too bad for them, though. I’ve come too far to sit on a pile of rubble, telling fortunes to the rich and powerful while they rouse the troops. Because let’s face it, once word gets out that the Oracle of Delphi has returned, those in power will come for me the way they did before. Humanity hasn’t changed all that much.
Plus, with the advent of social media, I shudder to think how quickly the information will travel. I’ll become a spectacle—some sort of dancing monkey—and the privacy I’ve come to know and love will be lost.
Then, rather than being accessible to all the poor, sad souls of the world, I’ll be fashioned into a weapon. One they can use to their advantage.
Then, the fanatics will come.
First, they’ll try to kill me. But when they find out they can’t, a worse fate will come. I’d probably be locked in a vault under the Vatican somewhere with everything else that scares the hell out of the mundanes of the world.
Fuck that.
I practically growl, shuddering at the thought.
It’s bad enough I have to be an oracle for dead and buried gods. I should at least be able to pick and choose where I go and how I serve.
Come on, Apollo. Give me at least that much.
Swallowing hard, I put the rental car into park. I leave it running and slip out into the cool morning air. As gently as I can, I close the driver’s side door and peer inside. Blake’s hands are pinned by his arms and his dark eyelashes flutter under the weight of his dreams. Hopefully, they’re better than mine.
I don’t fully understand why he wanted to come with me. It’s not like he’s a morning person. He could still be warm and comfortable in the hotel bedroom. I know that’s where I’d rather be.
My heart flutters and I can’t help but smile.
Turning around, the wind whips my hair in a cyclone around my head. It’s a dazzling display with varying strands of gold and pink as the rising sun bleeds its welcome into my hair.
Despite all of this, I reach for the ponytail holder in my pocket and tie my hair back. I need to be focused and centered now. Taking my time, I meander the trail to the ruins of the Temple of Apollo.
It’s been two days since the arrest of Lester and his cronies. Two days since I got my memories back.
Two days since I gave up a mortal life to continue on with the insanity of this supernatural, immortal one.
When I reach the ruins, I take a seat on a stone wall and sigh.
It’s also been two days since my soul mate was returned to me.
Blake is so excited to be uncovering our past, one memory at a time. His life as Anastasios was just as locked to him as my past was to me. At least we have that much in common.
But this undercurrent of anxiety clouds my elation.
I exhale a jagged breath and settle into the energy of the space. My gaze lifts, settling on the horizon. At this time of the morning, the view is almost the same as it was millennia ago. However, the beauty does nothing to shake the terrible revelation that while I have regained so much, my life is no longer my own.
While not exactly the most idyllic of circumstances, the past two millenniums have molded me into the woman I’ve become. How the hell am I meant to revert to someone I no longer am?
That woman was shed a long, long time ago.
This never-ending existence has left me jaded. Sure, I might be more of a prickly pear these days, but I’d also like to think the rougher edges have left me with a little more depth. And certainly a little wiser to the world as a whole.
Being psychic can only get you so far. You still need experience to accurately unpack everything.
Inhaling deeply, the crisp morning air clings to my lungs until I exhale the breath in a soft plume of frozen water droplets. I lean forward, placing my elbows on my knees. Bringing my hands to prayer position, I press the edge of my index fingers to my lips in an effort to silence my mind.
Blake may be recalling bits and pieces of our past life together, but he doesn’t remember everything. He doesn’t have the recollection of all of his past lifetimes, and I’m not sure what to make of that. Maybe it’s a byproduct of me meddling with our memories. As long as he’s happy with what he remembers, maybe that’s all that matters.
My one concern is that he doesn’t understand the restraints I now wear, and all for the sake of saving him. If he knew what I gave up to do it, he’d call me a damn fool. But then again, he doesn’t know all that I’ve endured without him by my side.
There have been so many decisions I’ve made that would shock him. So much I’ve seen and done that I’m not proud of throughout these years alone. Rather than being set on a course and following it to its destination, my life has been a tangle of events that would leave others crawling out of their skin.
Maybe even Blake.
And it’s certainly something the gods could use against me if they really wanted.
My stomach constricts and I swallow back my uneasiness.
I’ll cross that bridge when—or if—it ever comes.
For now, though, I need to find a loophole to this prison sentence before it becomes my reality.
As
much as I love the memories of growing up here, and the time of being with Anastasios, I no longer have any desire to live in Greece. That time has passed. Sorrow lingers here like a layer of fog that won’t dissipate. I can feel it now, even as I sit here.
This is where everything went wrong… Where two-thousand plus years of self-loathing began.
No, I don’t want to be stuck here. Blake and I found each other again in Helena. It’s where we belong now. Besides, it’s not like he’ll want to uproot Aiden and his entire life to move to Greece.
Arms wrap around my neck from behind, making me jump. Not an easy feat, all things considered.
“Didn’t mean to startle you.” Blake’s words are gruff, but hold a smile at the edges of his tone. His thoughts tumble through various things to say, but they’re garbled by the early morning. One thing is clear, though…he’s amused that he caught me off guard. He kisses the top of my head and takes a seat beside me on the bench. “At least it’s easy to find you. You’re always in the same place.”
My lips twitch, but don’t fully form into a smile.
“Uh oh. What’s wrong?” he asks. His eyebrows draw down, darkening his features as he puts on his investigator hat.
I straighten my shoulders and shake off my apprehension. There’s no point in worrying him until I have a plan.
“Nothing,” I mutter.
The creases around his brown eyes deepen and he grunts. “Mhm.”
Shaking my head, I stand up and stretch nonchalantly. “No, seriously. It’s nothing to worry about.”
“Then why won’t you tell me what’s going on?” he asks, arching an eyebrow.
I press my lips tight and give him a knowing look. “Because it’s nothing to worry about. I’ve just got a lot on my mind. We’ve been through hell and back these past few weeks.”
His expression is tight and he refuses to remove me from underneath his scrutiny. I hold firm, trying to lighten the energy between us.
Finally, he leans back a bit and says, “Yeah, if you would have told me a month ago that I’d be having past-life memories about being married to the Oracle of Delphi, or that I’ve made a pact with the god Apollo, I would have said to lay off the acid.”
I chuckle, dropping my gaze to the sandy ground. “Right?”
So much has changed.
A little over a month ago, I had been trying desperately to understand my past. If I’m completely honest, I don’t think I expected anything to come of it. After being let down time and time again, how could I?
But the Violet Flame invocation came through.
Demetri came through.
My stomach constricts again and a fresh wave of guilt and anxiety rolls through me. I exhale, trying to release the tension. Instead, the realization that I’m the reason Demetri’s powers were stripped from him punches me in the feels.
His powers are gone and mine have grown. Oh, he’ll love that.
Again, I press my fingertips to my mouth and turn away from Blake.
“See, now I know something’s up. What’s going on with you?” Blake says as he presses his hand against my back, letting me feel his presence.
He’s genuinely concerned for me. I can sense it in every molecule of his being. But I’ve been alone so long, I don’t quite know how to open up completely. Even to him.
He’s fragile and human…and I could still push him away if I’m not careful.
I close my eyes for a moment, allowing my abilities to survey the landscape of our new relationship before proceeding. “When you mentioned where we were at a month ago, it got me thinking about what was happening in my life around that time… I’m just worried about a friend back home,” I admit, hoping it will be enough for him to let things go.
“Is something wrong with him?” he asks, narrowing his gaze.
My eyebrows pull in as I try to put things into the right words. It’s way easier when I’m just the vessel, delivering universal information. But when I’m at the center of it all, shit gets so damn complicated and messy.
“You could say that. Yeah. He was helping me with a ritual and it backfired.” I shake my head. “Well, sort of.”
Blake continues to watch me, giving me the space to process through what I want to say without interruption. It’s who he is—the watcher. It’s why he’s such a good private investigator.
I inhale slowly and let my shoulders drop. “He’s psychic as well, but after the ritual, the blowback cost him his gifts. I don’t think he’s very happy with me.”
“Is there anything that can be done?” Blake asks, switching gears into fixer mode.
I shrug. “Honestly, I don’t know.”
“Well, I fully admit that I’m new to this whole supernatural thing, so correct me if I have this wrong,” Blake begins, clearing his throat softly, “but you’re connected to some pretty powerful beings. I’d be surprised if you can’t pull a few strings for him.”
I mull over his words for a moment. Would the gods help Demetri? I suppose they could, but then it would be one more thing they could hold over me. If they even felt it was something to bother with. Who knows with gods and their plans?
I glance at Blake, then back out over the valley. “While technically true, the gods don’t look kindly on trivial requests. I should know. And this…would definitely be considered trivial.” Besides that, in a way, it’s a direct consequence of my selfishness all those years ago. It’s serving not only to punish him—but me. And maybe I should be punished.
“Well, I have faith in you. If there’s a way to fix this for him, you’ll figure it out. So, stop worrying, would you?” Blake says, grabbing hold of my arms and spinning me to face him. He lifts his right hand to my cheek, brushing back a strand of pink hair that’s slipped loose from my ponytail.
I inhale sharply, suddenly tuned into every movement he makes and the proximity of his body to mine. While we may have been married in a past life, everything about this relationship we have now is so new. I can count the times we’ve kissed on one hand…and that’s as far as we’ve taken things.
I’ve had relationships in the past that existed solely for sweaty entanglements—and nothing else. No names, no shared experiences beyond that. But this…
Blake’s eyes linger on mine, holding my gaze so long my heart begins to race.
Can he see into my soul? Can he feel my thoughts?
My breath catches and I try to shake this horrible feeling niggling its way into my consciousness. Love is a beautiful, strange thing. I love him so deeply, even though we’ve barely met in this new lifetime. His essence is the same.
Yet, I’ve changed so much.
What if after all these years, he finds out I’m no longer worthy of his love?
Those worries puddle at my feet when Blake slowly bends in, brushing his lips against mine. The whiskers in his peppered goatee tickle the edges of my lips, making my skin hum.
As much as I try to steer clear of reading his thoughts, they still come to me with fervor. Despite his gentleness, he wants the exact same thing I want. Only, he’s just as nervous to reach for it as I am.
I lean into his kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck, and entangling my fingers into his dark locks. The wind whips around us, echoing through the branches nearby and the ruins themselves. Hidden in the undercurrent of the breeze, I swear I can hear someone calling my name.
Only, it’s not my name anymore…
The Grecian accent is thick, but my mind translates them instantly.“Amarantham? Is that you?”
I wish I could tell you the past never comes back to haunt you…but I’d be lying.
As I spin around, I stare straight into its gleaming brown eyes.
2
Staring into the Face of Ancient History
“KYROS?” I say, dropping my hands from Blake and taking a confused step back. “Is that you?”
The ages are peeled back like the pages of a calendar as my shattered mind tries to comprehend what I’m seeing. Somehow, thoug
h I have no idea how… I’m staring into the elderly gaze of my former assistant.
From like, two millennia ago.
And if this old man is Kyros, one thing’s for certain, time has not been kind. His once thick, dark hair that curled around his ears and framed his face is stringy and devoid of its former color. In its place is lusterless gray strands that barely manage to cover the shape of his scalp. His former distinguished stature is also diminished to a sideways hunch as if his spine has given in to the demands of time.
Yet, even with all of this, even without my psychic abilities… I’d know those olive-green eyes anywhere.
Blake throws me a befuddled glance, then eyes Kyros with the same discerning suspicion he’d give a suspect. Thankfully, he keeps his mouth shut, even if his mind is threatening to barrage me with its cacophony. I put up a mental block, tuning him out as I try to settle into the situation.
My gifts are annoyingly silent about the how and why he could be here. What an excellent time to take a little vacation.
Kyros observes Blake in the same regard, his weathered face scrunching with an incredulity I’ve only ever witnessed on Renaldo’s face.
“It would appear to be the case, yes,” he replies.
I marvel for a moment at the way his words flow out of his mouth in Greek but translate into modern-day English inside my mind. I haven’t spoken the old language for what feels like eons.
Brains are so weird. Or maybe it’s just my brain? Eh, who knows?
I shake my head, trying to knock away the cobwebs and disorientation. “But…how?”
Apparently, complete sentences are failing me now.
Amends: A Paranormal Women's Fiction Series (A Diana Hawthorne Supernatural Mystery Book 2) Page 1
