The Conservatory of Hope

by Melanie Schertz

  “Papa, it was supposed to be a surprise.” Jane said in mock anger. “We wanted to welcome Mamma home properly.” As Mrs Bennet stood, she was surrounded by her daughters. Embracing each of them, and placing a kiss on their cheeks, Mrs Bennet turned to leave the room. She was further surprised to see her husband planning to escort her up the stairs. “Thomas, there is no need. I know my way around the house.”

  “It is my honor, Fanny, to escort you to your rooms. I wish to speak with you without our girls, if you do not mind.” Blushing, Mrs Bennet agreed. ~~ ** ~~

  After dinner that night, Mrs Bennet enjoyed the concert that Mary gave, including a duet with Georgiana. She had found the excitement running rampant through the house was contagious. Hearing all the news of the children’s house and the preparations for the wedding, as well as the new understanding that her family had come to, Mrs Bennet could not recognize her old life. For that, she was quite grateful. Mrs Bennet had learned a harsh lesson and was not the same woman she was just a few months before. To be given this second chance to be a mother to her children and a wife to her husband was a blessing. With determination, Fanny Bennet was resolved to not squander this opportunity.

  The second day Mrs Bennet was home, her sister came to visit her. Mrs Phillips knew that Mrs Gardiner had not written to Scotland with regards to Edward Gardiner’s death, and with the homecoming the day before, the topic would not be discussed. The Bennet family had decided to allow Mrs Phillips to inform Mrs Bennet.

  “Fanny, I have the most dreadful news to share with you.” Seeing the look on her sister’s face, Mrs Bennet was worried. “What has happened, Evelyn?”

  “Helen Gardiner wrote to us to inform us that Edward is dead. He killed himself.”

  “Oh, Evelyn, why did he do such a thing? He abandoned his wife and children to take care of themselves. Such a selfish man.” “My own dear husband went to London to assist Helen in selling their property and settle their business affairs. Helen and the children left on Monday for Lambton. They will stay with Helen’s sister until they can find a house of their own.”

  “Will she have enough to raise the children? What will Helen do?” “Helen does not know everything, but Elizabeth placed some funds with the sale of the property, so there is enough to purchase a house in the village and it will allow her two hundred per annum. Helen told us that she will do some work for the local seamstress to add to the income.”

  Fanny was not surprised. “Lizzy has always been tender hearted, and caring for others. In a way, I pray she does not have her memories of that dreadful time return, for it is best to have a happy future, not misery from the past.”

  “I agree with you. She knows what she went through, as she can see the scars as plain as the rest of us. But she is spared the anguish that goes with it.” Mrs Phillips said. “You should be proud of your girls, Fanny. All the work that they did to get the children’s house ready was amazing. It was an honor to be a part of the project.”

  “You have my gratitude, Evelyn. You have always been kind to my daughters. I was such a fool, I should have trusted in your husband and my own. Instead, I fretted and worried; nearly killing my family in the process. I was not pleased to be sent to Scotland, but once there, I spent a great deal of my time in reflection. Now I realize that I thought I was rescuing our family, by marrying Thomas, but I did not appreciate the man he was. Our children felt as a burden, due to their being daughters and no heir. They were never treated as the joyous blessings that they are. If it takes me the rest of my life, I will make certain that they know how much I do love them. And I wish to know my husband for the good man he is.”

  “My goodness, who are you? I thought I was speaking to my sister, Fanny Bennet.” Mrs Phillips laughed. “The Fanny Bennet you knew died the night that Elizabeth was returned to us. Seeing what my daughter had endured, written in the scars on her body, I knew that I had been a stupid, wicked woman. Elizabeth and I spoke that night, before I was sent to Scotland. When we finished, she offered to speak with Thomas for me to stay here. But I needed to have the time to sort out my thoughts.”

  “Fanny, I realize that I was quite a bit younger than you, but I never understood your marriage to Thomas, or the way you behaved towards your children.”

  Taking a deep breath, Fanny finally made some confessions to her sister. “You were nearly eleven when I married Thomas. Edward was two years younger than you. Our father had been ill, and he developed a heart condition. He was very weak, and our mother was with child at the time. I knew that Thomas would take care of us, should our father die, which is why Mother suggested the arrangement to Thomas’ father. I was only seven and ten when I married Thomas, still a child in many ways, yet thrown into being a wife and the Mistress of the estate due to Thomas’ mother’s death the year after our wedding. Then our Father died, after Mother lost the babe she carried. There were so many people whose lives were resting upon my shoulders. Perhaps I allowed my insecurities to run wild. When Thomas was so ill, and we thought he would die, all my insecurities went completely insane. And Edward was afraid he would be forced to accept us at his home. He wanted no part of that, not that I could blame him. I am not the easiest person to live with.”

  “Fanny, you should have known that you were always welcome to stay with us. We would never have allowed you to be homeless. And you know how dear your daughters are to us.”

  “It took Lizzy’s return to show me the truth of what I had done. My poor girl, I do not know how she could forgive me so easily. Now, I am truly grateful to know my family better and to be with them. And all the letters from Lizzy telling of the project and of her Mr Darcy, I am so very happy for her.”

  “Well, let us return to the drawing room and see what help we can render to the brides.” Mrs Phillips said as she embraced her sister. “I am so pleased to have my sister home.”

  ~~~~~~~ ** ~~~~~~~

  Chapter 19 Two days before the wedding of Mr and Mrs Bennet’s eldest two daughters, Lady Catherine, Anne de Bourgh, and Richard Fitzwilliam arrived midday at Netherfield. They would remain there until after the wedding breakfast, when they would return to Rosings Park. Lord and Lady Matlock would arrive the following morning. It had been decided that Georgiana would return to Rosings for a holiday, giving her brother and new sister time alone.

  Of course, Lady Catherine had definite opinions as to how the wedding breakfast for one of her dearest nephews should be. Fortunately, Mrs Bennet’s new behavior allowed her to step aside and allow Lady Catherine to direct the servants. Mr Bennet came upon his wife standing at the door to the dining room, observing Darcy’s aunt dictating to the staff the proper order in which to serve the dishes.

  “I would have thought you would be in there putting in your opinions, Fanny.” Mr Bennet whispered in his wife’s ear. “Thomas, how did you know that it was me? Lizzy told me that you have developed an uncanny ability of knowing who comes in and out of a room without their speaking.”

  “I have become a magician while you were away. And why are you out here?” “It is our daughters’ weddings; I do not feel that the wedding breakfast needs my interference, when Lady Catherine has everything well in hand. This way, I will be able to enjoy the celebration rather than be nervous and flitting about.”

  “Dear me, I am sure that I must have died or I am feverish and not thinking rationally. Did those words come from the mouth of my wife?” Mrs Bennet turned to face her husband. “Indeed, Thomas, you did hear me say those words. And I am sincere in speaking them. My girls deserve to enjoy the day and I will do nothing to upset it.”

  Mr Bennet reached over and placed a gentle kiss on his wife’s lips. “You make me proud, Fanny. Come, I require someone to read my correspondence to me.”

  ~~ ** ~~ After the dinner on the night before the weddings, the grooms were reluctant to leave their lady loves, but their family and friends insisted that they retire early for the night, as the following day would be filled with excitement. Elizabeth and Jane walk
ed their men to the carriage, bidding them farewell.

  “I will see you at the church tomorrow.” Elizabeth said to Darcy. “I love you, William.”

  “As I love you, Elizabeth, and I will be the handsome one waiting at the altar for you to finally be mine.” Leaning down to place a kiss on her lips, Darcy heard his aunt’s chastising him. “Fitzwilliam Darcy, you will remember that you are a gentleman and will refrain from such impropriety. You will be wed to Elizabeth in less than a day; you may kiss her all you wish tomorrow.”

  Elizabeth blushed as she attempted to stifle her giggles. Darcy smiled, his back to the carriage, and he quickly plunked a kiss on his intended’s lips, so quickly, he almost knocked her over from the suddenness.

  From inside the carriage, Georgiana was laughing openly as Lady Catherine was attempting to keep her own laughter in check as she tried to reprimand her nephew. Once the grooms were securely seated in the carriage, Lady Catherine turned her attention to her future niece standing by the front door of her father’s home. “He is incorrigible, Lizzy. Are you certain you are prepared to be married to such a man?”

  “Aunt Catherine, I would not have him any other way. I will see you tomorrow.”

  Darcy called out the window to his beloved. “Sweet dreams, dearest.” ~~ ** ~~ Elizabeth had just climbed into her bed when she heard a knock on her door. “Lizzy, may I come in?” her mother asked from the other side of the door.

  “Yes, Mamma, come in.” Elizabeth replied. Mrs Bennet walked over to her daughter’s bed and sat down on the edge, near Elizabeth. “I thought it would be appropriate for you and I to have a talk, with regards to what to expect on your wedding night. I am sure you have heard Lady Lucas and me speaking in the past of what a chore the marriage bed was. It is time that you learn the truth.”

  “Mamma, you do not need to speak of such, if it makes you uncomfortable.” Smiling, Mrs Bennet reached out her hand and gently moved one of her daughter’s curls back behind her ear. “The truth is that the marriage bed can be a great joy to be enjoyed by both husband and wife. When there is a love match, it can be a magical time. Do not believe there is anything wrong with you if you find pleasure in your coupling with your husband. Mr Darcy is a kind and gentle man, and it is clear that he loves you dearly. He will treat you with respect and not force you to do anything you are not willing to do. Speak openly with him; tell him the truth of what you are experiencing. The only way you can keep your marriage happy and strong is to be open with your feelings. Do not allow yourself to hide how you feel from the man you love.”

  “I have read books, and seen animals mating, so I have a limited notion as to what happens when a man and woman couple, but I am afraid it may be painful.”

  “No, my dear girl, when it is done with both man and woman wishing to please each other, there is no pain. There will be moments of extreme delight and sensations that will flow through you until you think that you will burst. He will experience the same feelings, and when he comes to his peak, he will spill himself inside you. The first time a young lady is taken, she will feel a moment of sharp pain as her barrier is broken through, but, from what my sister told me, you have already been through this, so there should be no difficulty in coupling with Mr Darcy.”

  A look of surprise registered on Elizabeth’s face. “I had not considered this before. I do not come to my marriage bed pure. Do you think that William will be devastated when he learns that I cannot give him my virtue?”

  “Dear Lizzy, William already knows that your former husband bedded you, though I am sure that he knows that it is nothing in comparison to what you and he will share. You do not remember your life with that horrid man, and I am grateful for God granting you a fresh start in life. Now, you scoot down in the covers so that I might tuck you in one last time.”

  Once Elizabeth was snug in her bed, Mrs Bennet leaned down to place a kiss on her daughter’s forehead. “Good night, Lizzy. Have a pleasant dream tonight.”

  ~~ ** ~~ Elizabeth woke the following morning to the sound of birds chirping their song outside her window. Smiling, she could not help but think that they were wishing her joy for her wedding. She stretched out her arms and turned to gaze out the window. The sun was rising, bringing a glow to the world. It was then that Elizabeth realized that this was her last morning waking in this bed. This was the day that she was to become Mrs Darcy. How strange it seemed that she would be married this day. She knew, from what she was told by her family and William, that she had been married, but that was like a tragic tale, something from one of Shakespeare’s stories.

  Though she wished to remember the time she had spent at Pemberley, with William and Georgiana, she felt it was best that she did not remember the marriage of which she had been told.

  She had come to love William; she knew that it was truly love. The past few months had been difficult for her to adjust to the missing years, but she was growing accustomed to the change in appearance of her family members. And William was so kind, gently giving her responsibilities to show her that she was capable. His patience was commendable, his gentleness brought out her courage. Their marriage would be built on love and affection for each other. And tonight, she would know what it was like to be a wife in all aspects. Elizabeth prayed that she would not be a disappointment to her beloved.

  A knock was heard on the door, and when she called for the person to enter, she saw Hannah carrying in a tray for Elizabeth to break her fast. “Good morning, Miss. We have much to do to prepare for the day, and I thought it best that you partake in your breakfast while I work on your hair. I spoke with your youngest sister and she gave me an idea for a way to style it.”

  “Lydia has always had a flare for fashion and appearances. I am pleased that it has come to be useful.” Elizabeth said as she sipped her tea. She smiled when she realized that Hannah had brought a mixture with chamomile and peppermint.

  An hour went by before Hannah proclaimed Elizabeth’s hair to be perfect. Only then was Elizabeth allowed to see Hannah’s creation. Most of her hair had been piled on top of her head, with sections on both sides braided with silver ribbons, then wrapped around the rest of the hair. From the hair on top, curls were flowing about her head. There were tiny seed pearl pins placed throughout; and the effect against her dark chocolate hair was breathtaking.

  The gown that had been made for Elizabeth to wear was pale green, accented with the most elegant lace she had ever seen. The bodice was cut daringly and had beautifully stitched flowers in a slightly darker shade of green. As she dressed in the gown, she could not help but feel like a princess.

  Mrs Bennet came into the room and held out a small box to her daughter. “I was given this by your grandmother for my wedding day. The necklace is for you to wear, and the hair combs she gave me, I left with Jane to wear. You are so strikingly beautiful, Lizzy. This shade of green suits you well. Your dark hair and brown eyes are enhanced by the green; it even makes the sparkle in your eyes more pronounced.”

  Opening the box, Elizabeth found a single strand of pearls. “Oh, Mamma, they are exquisite. I cannot remember seeing you wear them.” “I wore them at my wedding, and then put them away for my daughters. Besides the combs, there are hair pins with tiny jewels, earbobs, and a silk handkerchief that my mother stitched for the wedding. Mary, Kitty and Lydia will each have something for when they wed.”

  “I will treasure this gift, Mamma. And one day, if I am fortunate enough to have a daughter of my own, I will hand them down to her.” Mrs Bennet wiped at her eyes, and then squared her shoulders. “Well, I will make my way to the chapel. Your father is waiting in the carriage for you and Jane to join him. I will see you as you join your husband at the altar.” She gave her daughter a kiss on the cheek and quickly made her way from the room.

  “Miss Elizabeth, I believe you are ready to leave.” Hannah said. “But, before you leave, I have a gift for you. Nothing fancy, just something I made for you.” She handed out a small package, wrapped and tied.

>   Elizabeth opened it to find a handkerchief the same color as the gown she wore, with the same sort of lace trimming it. In one corner, the letters ED were stitched with flowers surrounding them.

  “Hannah, this is wonderful. You made this all on your own?” Elizabeth was astonished. “I spoke to the seamstress making your gown and she was kind enough to assist me in making it to match your gown. I wished to show you how pleased I am for you. Pemberley is fortunate to be gaining such a mistress. And I am honored to be your maid.”

  “You have been so devoted to me and I pray that you will be with me for many years to come.” Elizabeth smiled at the young maid. “So long as you wish me to be, Miss, it will be my greatest honor to continue to be your maid.” Hannah wiped a tear threatening to overflow from her eyes. “Hurry now, your intended is waiting for you. I will see you next as Mrs Darcy.”

  ~~ ** ~~ Mr Bennet stood at the back of the chapel, with his two eldest daughters holding his arms. “I am so proud of you both, and pleased you have found such honorable young men who love you. And I thank you for making our family stronger than ever.” He turned and placed a kiss on each daughter’s cheek.

  Both Jane and Elizabeth thanked their father by placing a kiss on his cheeks. “Now, I have a gift to give both of you. Elizabeth, you have been asking me how it is that I know who has entered a room. As a gift, I will tell you my magic. My eyesight is growing stronger. It is still quite fuzzy, but I am able to distinguish enough to know which of you is near me.”

  “Papa, this is the greatest gift you could ever give us.” Elizabeth said, as she gave her father another kiss on the cheek. “It is a miracle, according to the physician. And now, I can watch the two of you marry two very deserving young men. Let us make our way to them now, before they come looking for you.”