“He required twelve stitches in his head after we pulled out some fragments of the shattered helmet. Along with a concussion, there is some swelling of the brain and a few broken blood vessels.”
“Because of his injuries, we have placed him in a medically induced coma.”
I made a sound. Ivy turned into Braeden.
“This will ensure the protection of the brain while the swelling and pressure subsides.”
“How long?” I asked.
“It really depends on him. Most medically induced comas last less than two weeks.”
All sound in the room seemed to fade away. I saw the doctor’s mouth moving. I saw Ivy asking questions and a few others say things.
I heard nothing.
Not even the sound of my own heart beating. The sound of my lungs breathing.
My vision started to narrow and blur. Like a curtain was closing on everything, the world started to go dim.
Someone’s face swam in front of mine. Their lips moved, features concerned. I was too far gone to answer… and then there was nothing.
8
Trent
* * *
The world came back in a burst of light and sound. My lungs seized violently, making me cough. The vivid scent of ammonia clung to the insides of my nostrils, and my fingertips curled against the cold floor…
Wait.
The floor?
Blinking, I looked around from my position sprawled on the waiting room floor.
“Trent?” Romeo asked, leaning over me, concerned.
“Fuck,” I muttered, rubbing a hand over my face. “I don’t have time for this.”
“It’s going to keep happening until you take care of yourself.” Someone scolded.
“I want to see Drew.”
“He’s still in recovery. You can see him once he’s moved to a private room,” announced the doctor who was holding some smelling salts.
Shaking my head, I heaved up off the floor. Romeo pulled me up with him, but I rebuffed his support.
Facing the doctor, I said again, “I want to see Drew.”
“He’s in recovery.”
“Maybe we could make an exception this one time,” Gamble interjected smoothly.
“You’re next of kin?”
“We live together,” I said.
His eyes widened a bit. “Oh, so you’re married?”
I deflated. “No.”
“Is there a blood relative here?”
Ivy stepped forward. “I’m his sister.”
She looked like hell, and if Braden wasn’t holding her up, she probably wouldn’t be standing. Still, she lifted her chin, her gaze unwavering.
“My brother would want Trent,” she said. “Trent is his guardian.”
Trent is his guardian.
I don’t know how or even why, but those words gave me something nothing else had. As I stood here practically crumbling, they reminded me of my purpose. Drew was weak right now. I would be strong.
Slowly, the doctor shook his head. “This is something we don’t normally allow, but since our benefactor, Mr. Gamble, has asked…”
I started for the door.
“You need to change first,” the man called.
“Okay,” I said, still going.
“And wear a mask. And disinfect your hands.”
Stopping in the hall, I poked my head back around the doorframe. “I’ll do whatever you tell me to do. Let’s go.”
The doctors followed me out into the hall and instructed a nurse, who led me to a room, handing me a stack of hospital scrubs, a cap, facemask, and something to cover my feet. I took it all, dumping it on the bed, and started taking off my bloodstained clothes before she was even out of the room.
“Take your time.” She began.
“Just wait right outside the door. I’ll be there in a minute.”
When she was gone, I cleaned up as best I could considering one of my wrists and hands was almost completely wrapped up.
I discovered some glass in my knee as I was changing. I pulled it out, tossing it in a nearby trashcan. A nearby cabinet had some bandages, so I doused the cuts in antiseptic and strapped on a couple Band-aids.
My entire body trembled and my legs felt wobbly as I followed the nurse down the silent, somber hallway.
At a white curtain, she paused and turned back. “Don’t be alarmed with the way he looks. He’s stable.”
Swallowing thickly, I nodded.
“There’s a chair beside the bed.”
“I’m going,” I said, cutting off whatever else she might say. I didn’t care. All I cared about was the man on the other side of that curtain.
Dragging in a shuddering breath, I pulled the curtain back and stepped around.
How could a man who took up so much space inside my heart and world look so small?
How could fragile and lifeless explain someone who smiled so big, hugged so hard, and kissed until he consumed my soul?
Tubes and wires were everywhere, making him look like the victim of a science experiment and not the recipient of life-saving technology. White walls, white blankets, and the steady beeping of monitors made me wish this was some sort of bad dream.
It wasn’t a bad dream. This was a nightmare. And it was real.
The thick fabric of the curtain separating us from the rest of the world strained beneath my grip as I stood there frozen and staring.
I’d wanted nothing more than to see this man. But seeing him like this? This was the worst torment I would ever experience in my entire existence.
Still, I would not look away.
Shuffling toward the bed, I fixed my gaze on his face, noting the colorless pallor nearly matching the white bandages circling his head. His blond-ish hair stuck out around them, giving me a tiny glimpse of the Drew I knew and loved.
A sob ripped from my throat, and I nearly choked trying to hold it back. I wouldn’t do this here. I wouldn’t do it in front of him. Drew needed strength right now, and strength was what I would deliver.
Moving closer to his side, I couldn’t help but stare at the ventilator covering the lower part of his face, and the sound of it breathing for him made goose bumps rise along my arms.
“I would trade places with you in an instant if I could,” I told him.
He didn’t respond. He couldn’t. I wasn’t sure when he would again. Without looking away, I pulled the chair as close to the bed as I could. His entire body was buried under blankets, but I wanted his hand.
Gently, I lifted the blankets to gaze beneath them. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and my eyes went instantly to the chest tube inserted into his torso. My stomach heaved, and I squeezed my eyes shut before reopening to study the massive bruising all over his chest, the swelling around his ribs, and the bandaged incisions.
Lowering into the chair, I reached for his hand. His fingers were limp but warm. I wrapped my hand around them and carefully replaced the covers over his torso. His leg was in a sling that elevated it off the bed. The cast was thick and white, covering everything from his knee down, except for his toes.
Slipping my other hand under the covers, I wrapped it around his hand too. Despite seeing him this way, touching him gave me comfort. Being here, having eyes on him, was something I was so grateful for.
“We’re going to have to talk about this profession of yours,” I told him, trying to sound firm.
The only sounds that answered were the beeping of the monitor and the whirring of the ventilator.
“They said you almost died in there,” I whispered, my hands gripping his tighter. My lower lip wobbled, and intense pressure squeezed my chest. “Thank you, baby,” I said, the wobble moving from my lips into my words.
Bowing my head, I rested it on the edge of the mattress while skimming my thumb along the back of his hand. “Thank you for fighting in there. For coming back to me.” Lifting my face, I let the tears fall, pretending they weren’t even there. “Don’t worry about anything, okay? I’ll take care of
everything. I’m your guardian. Ivy said so.”
The mention of his sister reminded me.
“Everyone’s here. Romeo, Rim, B, and Ivy. Lorhaven, Joey, Arrow, Hopper… even Gamble himself. Romeo’s parents and B’s mom are on their way. The doctors here wouldn’t dream of not doing right by you. Gamble pays most of their salaries.” I tried to joke, but none of this was funny.
“All you have to do is heal. All you have to do is come back to us. To me.”
Lifting out of the chair, I leaned over the bed, lowering toward his forehead. “You’re so banged up,” I said, almost scared to touch him. “It’s okay,” I said, not wanting him to think I was upset with him. I whispered, “I’ll be gentle.”
As I brushed my lips over his forehead, a heartbeat of peace moved through me. I hoped he felt it too, because even though it was brief, the relief was incredibly real.
Not ready to pull away, I kissed him again.
Lowering back into the chair, I kept my hold on his hand. “Take as long as you need to heal, Forrester. I’m going to be right here. I won’t leave your side.”
We sat in silence for a while, but I began to worry he might think I’d left him alone.
“I love you,” I whispered. Then I whispered it again.
And again.
And again.
9
Drew
* * *
The dull static sound filling the room drowned out everything else with its eerie tone. It was so dark here I couldn’t see where it came from, and I didn’t know where I was.
This place was cold… empty somehow.
I didn’t like it. I wanted to go home.
I tried to sit up, but my limbs didn’t obey. I tried again, but I was paralyzed, as if my body were no longer my own to command.
Panic cut through the haziness, assailing me, making my already tight chest squeeze.
I fought against the binds holding me down, but I was weak. I called out for help, but my voice wasn’t mine either. I opened my eyes and saw nothing but shadows.
Fear rushed over me like a thousand tiny spiders, a thousand footsteps scurrying over my skin and making me want to scream.
I couldn’t.
Where was I? What was this place? How did I get here?
How did I get free?
Loneliness taunted, and I wasn’t sure which was worse: being afraid or being alone and afraid.
The crackling static seemed to fade away, and sudden foreign sounds burst into the shadows. Someone moaning. Something beeping. A voice I didn’t recognize.
My heart felt like it would gallop right out of my chest. I wanted to fight or flee so urgently, but my body wouldn’t move.
A heavy scraping sound from close by jolted my system with adrenaline.
What is happening? Let me go!
The overwhelming sense of loneliness gnawing at my mind began to ebb away. The chaos and confusion inside me began to fade with it. Something warm and reassuring wrapped around me. I felt the strength in the touch… and something else.
There was something else.
Haziness dragged me down. The clarity I was beginning to find was being cancelled out again, replaced with that awful static. Why didn’t someone turn off that broken TV?
“I’m going to be right here. I won’t leave your side.”
I knew that voice. It was familiar. It was comforting.
I fought the fog trying to pull me under, searching through the dark for more of his voice. I waited and waited, anxiety enveloping me once more.
“I love you.”
There he was.
“I love you.”
I wasn’t alone.
“I love you.”
Fear abated. Calmness washed over me like the sea. And the darkness? The darkness might have my body, but it was that voice that commanded my heart.
I stopped fighting, letting myself be pulled under, but I was no longer afraid because there was something else.
Someone.
Trent.
10
Trent
* * *
Drew was moved out of recovery and into the ICU. The intensive care unit had a lot of rules, one of them being only two visitors at a time.
I remained planted beside his bed, holding his hand and making sure there weren’t long periods of time when no one spoke. The doctors said even though he was in a coma, there might still be bursts of moments when his brain was lucid and aware of his surroundings. He might be confused. He might be afraid and trying to understand what was happening.
I didn’t know how much Drew could comprehend right now. It didn’t matter. Even if there was only the slimmest chance he heard me, I would continue to talk. I would continue to reassure him.
The family rotated in and out, one by one, not even asking me to let someone else take my spot. When they’d gone through the rotation, Ivy appeared back in the doorway, and I held out my arm, inviting her close.
Dashing the tears off her cheeks, she rushed forward, climbing into my lap and putting her hand over mine and Drew’s.
“I always knew racing was dangerous and risky, but I never thought this would happen,” she said, watching over her brother.
“Me either.” I agreed, once again internalizing everything that happened in the past few days. As Drew’s lover, this accident was traumatizing.
As his manager? I felt responsible.
Over and over, I went through everything I’d done with the team to prep him for the NRR season opener. We left early to drive across Maryland to New Revolution Racing’s headquarters and its home track.
This place was pretty much our home away from home. It wasn’t new territory. Drew had his own garage there. His own handpicked pit crew. The track had been built by Gamble and all the NRR owners. It wasn’t an old or shoddily built course.
His car was in tip-top shape. Nothing about it had been compromised yet this season because this had been the opening race.
What did I miss? What did the crew miss? I wanted to call the crew boss, but I didn’t trust myself to not lose my shit on the phone so I remained silent.
I’d been his eyes and ears during the race. His spotter. He trusted me to watch over him… and I let him down.
If only I’d seen it coming sooner. If only I’d been able to warn him.
Maybe he wouldn’t be lying here right now. Maybe he wouldn’t have almost died.
He flatlined.
The horror of knowing that Drew’s heart literally stopped beating altered me in a way I had yet to even understand. I felt the change deep. I just didn’t know the consequences of it yet.
“You’re doing good, ba—” I started to tell him, then glanced at Ivy still situated in my lap. “Forrester. You’re doing real good. We’re here, okay? We love you.”
“You must be exhausted,” Ivy said, leaning against me, not even mentioning the way I almost called her brother baby in front of her.
“I’m fine,” I answered.
“Do you think he’s in pain?”
“I hope not,” I said, sweeping a glance over his relaxed face. “Isn’t that the whole purpose of the coma?”
She whispered, “He looks really fragile.”
“That’s why we’ll be strong for him.”
Ivy’s hand slipped away from ours when she curled a little closer into my lap. Using my free hand, I smoothed her blond hair away from my face and rested my chin atop her head. “Romeo’s and B’s parents just checked into the hotel we’re staying at.”
“You can go see the kids. I’ll stay with Drew.”
“I want to stay a little longer.”
“Try and get some sleep, okay? It’s been a long day, and Jax and Nova will be all over you when you go because they haven’t seen you in a few days.”
“We drove down here to watch my brother in his season opener… not for this.” Her breathing hitched, and I ran my hand up and down her arm. “I’m glad the kids stayed back at the compound. I’m glad they weren’t there t
o see this.”
“Me too,” I replied, hoarse.
We lapsed into silence, and I went back to the ever-repeating checklist in my mind. What happened out there? Why did this happen?
One minute, life was perfect. The next, everything was falling apart.
No warning. No way to stop it.
All that was left was to endure.
Unsure how much time passed, I stroked my thumb over Drew’s hand. “I love you,” I told him.
“He knows you’re here,” Ivy said, her voice a near whisper.
“I thought you were sleeping.”
“When I close my eyes, I see the accident. His car flipping… smashing into the cement wall.”
“Shh.” I murmured, “Try not to think about it.”
“Is that what you’re doing?”
“No.”
When she sat up, Ivy’s eyes met mine. The blue was muted, the whites bloodshot. The tip of her nose was pink, and her lips were dry. “We’re all here for you too, okay? I know you want to be strong for Drew, but don’t suffer alone.”
A nurse in all white came into the room, sparing us a brief smile. “Visiting hours are about over.”
“I’m not leaving,” I said.
“The ICU doesn’t allow overnight guests.”
“You don’t have to consider me a guest.”
“Sir, hospital policy—”
I sat forward, making sure Ivy didn’t fall out of my lap while still keeping one hand on Drew’s. Despite the temper boiling inside me and burning my throat, I kept my voice calm. “I don’t care what hospital policy states. If you want me out of this room, you’ll have to call security. And make sure there’s an entire team of them, because a few guys won’t do any good.”
She opened her mouth, closed it, then started backing out of the room.
“Wait,” Ivy said, straightening.
The nurse glanced back, wary.
“Is there a reason you came in here other than to tell us about visiting hours?”
“I need to check his vitals, and the doctor will be making his rounds…”
#Fate Page 4
