I couldn’t help but wonder whose side they were on. If they also agreed with Drew’s father that someone like me was too corrupt to be around him. If they thought the love I felt for Drew was somehow invalid because we were both men.
Invalid. Other people didn’t have the power to void out something a man felt. Did they? Emotions, in a sense, were sort of like opinions. Though they often differed, were any of them wrong?
Emotions and opinions were expressly owned by whoever held them, and just their presence made them real. But just because I might not agree with someone else’s opinion or how they felt, it didn’t mean whatever it was somehow cancelled out.
Yet here we were, being punished regardless.
No one had the right to tell me how to feel, but in turn, I couldn’t make others understand.
A light nudge on my shoulder brought me out of the half sleep I’d been floating in. Katie, one of Drew’s night nurses, stood there with nervousness written all over her.
I jumped out of the chair like it was on fire, adrenaline lighting my veins and making my heart pound fitfully.
“What is it?” I demanded. “What happened?”
Braeden jerked awake in a nearby chair. “What’s wrong?”
Ignoring him, I grabbed the nurse by the shoulder, giving her a light shake. “Drew?”
Pressing a finger against her lips, she shushed me. “He’s okay.”
Expelling a forceful breath, I bent at the waist, pressing my hand against my chest. “Jesus Christ,” I swore. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“Shh.” She reminded me.
As I straightened, my eyes narrowed. “If nothing’s wrong, what are you doing here?”
“We’re going to be changing shifts soon.” She began, dividing her stare around the room as though she was making sure we were alone. Leaning in, she whispered, “Do you want to see him?”
Instant intense longing was a lightning strike of pain right into my chest. “Seriously?”
She nodded. “You can’t tell anyone. I could lose my job.”
I held up my hands in surrender. “I swear to God.”
She smiled and motioned for me to follow.
I glanced back at Braeden. “Cover me.”
“Will do.”
The hallway was still dim and quiet. I wasn’t really quite sure what time it was, but I didn’t care. The palms of my hands grew clammy, and nerves coiled in my lower belly. It was like finally getting to see someone after a long time apart. Like meeting up for a first date, eaten alive by worry.
Katie walked into the room first as if she was just doing her normal rounds, leaving the door slightly ajar.
Quickening my footsteps, I rushed soundlessly, slipping inside the room without pause. The second my eyes fell on the bed, my stomach flopped. I don’t remember walking across the room, but then I was there, close enough to reach down and take his hand.
“Drew.” His name fell from my lips like a prayer, and gratitude rolled into one.
The chair I’d kept so close to the bed wasn’t there, so I dropped onto my knees, my whole body in contact with the side of the bed. Lifting his hand, I pressed my cheek against it.
While I was sitting out there in that uncomfortable seat, I’d thought of so many things I should have said. A thousand words I’d wanted to string into sentences to hopefully explain just how much he meant to me.
A thousand words instantly forgotten.
I couldn’t speak. It was overwhelming just to feel. Just to hold him in my gaze.
Close by, Katie cleared her throat. I’d forgotten she was there.
Not pulling my eyes off Drew, I said, “I owe you. Ten times over.”
“The look on your face is payment enough.”
“How long do I have?” I asked, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand.
“Not too long. The day staff will be here soon, and then visiting hours will start after that…”
I heard what she didn’t say. Drew’s parents would be back. They didn’t even try to spend the night. He didn’t even ask if they would bend the ICU rules and let someone stay with his son.
Instead, Drew lay there alone for hours while I sat down the hall in hell.
I’d thought so many times about sneaking in here. But I was afraid.
Afraid there were more people on Burke’s side than mine.
Afraid if I got caught, Drew would be shipped away to some secret location.
Thinking of that, my heart squeezed. “You’re sure this is okay?” My neck pricked with the desire to glance around to make sure no one was watching. But that would require looking away from Drew.
I’d spent too many hours desperately wanting to see him.
She made a sound. “The supervisor just left. It’s just me and a few others right now. No one will say a word.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, standing up so I could caress his cheek.
I stayed as close as humanly possible until she came back and told me it was time to go.
“How is he?” Braeden asked when I stepped back into the waiting room.
“About the same,” I replied, dropping into a chair. The relief I felt from being able to see and touch Drew for even a short while was extreme. Though relief was a good feeling and often made one feel lighter, this time it was heavy.
“You look like shit,” Braeden remarked, standing over me with his arms crossed over his chest.
“So do you.”
“Yeah, well, sleeping in a waiting room sucks.”
“You should have gone back to Gamble’s.”
“We’re fam. I’m not letting you sit here all night alone. And someone has to be here in case you hulk out again.”
I gave him the finger. I was too tired for anything else.
B slid into the chair beside me. “Why don’t you come back with me? Take a shower. Get some food.”
“I’m not leaving.”
“I get it. I really do. If that was Ivy…” His voice trailed away. Clearing his throat, he went on. “But if you keep going like this, you’re going to collapse. Then you won’t be any help to Drew.”
“I’m not leaving him here alone.”
“He won’t be alone.”
Angry, I spun toward him. “His dad is just waiting for a chance to whisk him out of here undetected. The second I turn my back, he’ll have Drew out of here, and I swear to God, B.”
“I won’t let that happen.” A new voice joined the conversation.
Surprise took some of the intensity out of my voice. “Romeo.”
As he came into the room, he reached out, giving my shoulder a squeeze. Rimmel appeared from behind him, glasses perched on her nose and an oversized hoodie taking over her frame.
“What are you guys doing here so early?”
Rimmel handed me a coffee. I grimaced. “It’s how you usually drink it. No extra sugar.” She confirmed.
Oh. Well. I would take it. “Thanks.”
“We’re here to relieve you two.” Romeo informed us.
“How’s Ivy?” Braeden asked.
“She was still sleeping when we left. But she’s okay.”
Braeden nodded. “I’ll bring her and my mom over when visiting hours start.”
“Valerie and Tony will be over later this afternoon,” Rimmel said of Romeo’s parents.
Even though not everyone could go back and see Drew while he was in the ICU, it still meant something that they all came here day in and day out. They seemed to take unspoken shifts, making sure Drew was always surrounded by people who loved him.
Braeden stretched out his back. “C’mon, T. You can ride with me.”
“I told you I’m not leaving.”
“You’ve been here for three days,” Romeo said as if I didn’t know exactly how long I’d been here. How long Drew’s life had been hanging in the balance. “You look like a zombie.”
I ignored him.
“You smell,” Rimmel inserted.
All three of us looked
up at her. Romeo made a low amused sound.
Her cheeks turned pink, but she made a face and put her hands on her hips. “You do. You’re stinky! And you haven’t changed any of your bandages or put anything on those burns.”
“I don’t care about me,” I murmured.
B leaned over and not so discreetly took a whiff of me. “Bro,” he exclaimed, wrinkling his nose. “She’s right. You’re ripe.”
“You might not care about yourself right now, but Drew does. He’s going to wake up soon. Do you really want to”—Rimmel paused, considering her words—“be in this condition when he does?”
“You have my word that I will not let anyone take Drew out of here while you’re gone. I won’t let anyone mess with him.” Romeo vowed. “It’s not even visiting hours yet.”
“That doesn’t matter,” I argued.
“I’ll stand outside his door like a guard if it will make you feel better. I’ll stand there until you come back.”
I glanced up, sort of touched by the tenacity in his voice. “You’d do that?”
“Damn right I would.” Romeo agreed.
“Me too.” Rimmel agreed. “No one would get by me!”
Romeo patted her on the head. “You’re the toughest of us all, baby.”
I shook my head. Just the thought of leaving this hospital made my stomach twist.
Romeo went on. “Even if it’s only an hour. Shower. Change. Eat. Maybe grab some clothes for Drew for when he wakes up.”
“Get your ass out of that chair, Trent,” Braeden grumped when I didn’t move.
Reluctantly, I stood. Dropping an arm around my shoulders, B started walking toward the door, but my feet remained planted.
“Go.” Romeo insisted. “I’ve got things handled here.”
The entire way down in the elevator, I fought the intense urge to rush back upstairs. Clammy sweat broke out across my forehead, and the palms of my hands were hot. The not-so-soft material of the scrubs I was wearing suddenly felt very restrictive, and I wanted to rip them off.
Braeden cleared his throat as the elevator slid to a stop on the main floor. “So, um, you should know the press is camped out down here.”
I cursed.
The doors slid open.
18
Trent
* * *
“Oh my God! There he is!” someone yelled.
Gasps, scurrying feet, and the blur of people rushing toward us caught me off guard.
“Trent! Trent Mask!”
“How is Drew?”
“Is Drew still in the ICU?”
“Can we get a statement?”
Dipping my head, B and I marched through, making it so they had to clear a path for us to walk.
“He looks awful.”
“The rumors must be true!”
I stiffened, and my feet stalled. Rumors? What rumors?
Braeden put a hand on my shoulder, nudging me along.
Flashes went off, burning my irises and making me even surlier than I already was. More camera clicks and cellphones floating around, all of them trained on us.
The wide glass doors opened, and cool morning air rushed around us. The sun was barely up.
“Please, Trent! Give us an update! How’s Drew?”
“Are those injuries from when you climbed into the wreckage?”
The hum of a strong engine and the squeal of tires at the edge of the sidewalk turned heads. I recognized the vintage black Camaro instantly. The passenger door opened, and Arrow’s blond head popped out from the back seat. “Get in!”
The press turned rabid once again as we practically dove into the car. When we were barely in, Hopper revved the engine and peeled away from the curb, plastering me into the back seat.
“Looked like you guys needed a hand,” he called from the driver’s seat.
Arrow’s eyes focused totally on me. “Is Drew okay?”
I nodded, and the worry in his stare calmed. “What are you guys doing here so early?”
“Came for an update before he got here,” Hopper answered, meeting my eyes in the rearview.
A bitter taste filled my mouth. “Is he giving you a hard time too?”
I thought maybe he just hated me because of Drew, but apparently, his hate extended to all gay men.
“Nothing we can’t handle. Just trying to avoid the drama.”
Leaning back, I sighed. “The press has been like that for three days?”
“They were worse on the first day,” Braeden answered from the passenger seat in front of me.
“How much worse can they be?”
“You don’t want to know,” Arrow quipped.
I sat up. “What?”
Braeden reached around and smacked Arrow on the head. “Not cool, Biebs.”
Keeping one hand on the wheel, Hopper snatched Braeden’s wrist before he could pull it back. “Touch him again and you can walk.”
“Hopp,” Arrow admonished.
“It’s cool,” Braeden swore, not taking the threat too seriously.
“What aren’t you telling me?” I demanded, leaning around the seat to stare at my brother.
“It’s just the same old shit. You know how the press is. We just didn’t want to burden you with it. You have enough to deal with right now.”
“Nothing having to do with Drew is a burden,” I said, glancing out the back window, thinking of asking Hopper to turn around.
“Keep driving,” B told Hopper, knowing exactly what I was thinking.
I glared at him.
He sighed. He looked wrung out, bloodshot eyes and rumpled clothes. He’d slept in the waiting room with me all night last night. I knew it wasn’t just for me but for Ivy too, but still. He was there.
I couldn’t be mad at him for long.
“I need to know what I’m dealing with.” I reasoned.
“The clip of you going postal on the track and fighting your way into the wreckage is burning up the internet… and the national news.”
“I thought Gamble took care of that.”
“Yeah, he paid everyone off so they didn’t sue your ass. That just gave the press more headlines.”
“Fucking great,” I muttered.
“No one in the fam has released a statement or talked to the press. They’re hungry for an update on Drew. The only thing they know is that he’s in the ICU.”
“What else?” I asked, sensing there was more. B wouldn’t have been that irritated at Arrow if there wasn’t something else.
“Don’t worry about it.” He tried.
“Arrow?” I called.
Hopper made a noise. “Don’t fucking drag him into it.”
“Then you tell me.” I challenged.
He took a turn a little too fast, but none of us even winced. This was how it was when you were friends with racers. “Someone at the hospital leaked some shit.”
I leaned around the seat to glare once more at Braeden, silently telling him I wanted the information. And I wanted it from him.
Rolling his eyes, he pulled his cell from his pocket, tapped the screen a few times, and then handed over the phone.
* * *
Sighing, I handed the phone back to Braeden. “How’d they get that photo?” I asked, thinking of the private, lonely moment I thought was mine and mine alone.
Turns out nothing was off-limits to the world. I couldn’t even grieve without someone snapping a photo.
I could beat myself up for not seeing them lurking, but what good would it do? I had no room left inside me for that. All my internal space was currently being used up.
I reached down for my phone, realizing I didn’t have pockets… nor did I know where my phone was.
“Let me see it again.” I motioned to Braeden.
He handed his cell back over.
“Unlock it, asshole,” I snapped, holding it out.
After scanning his fingerprint, he handed it back.
Romeo answered on the first ring. “He’s fine, Trent.”
&
nbsp; “Are you sure?” I asked, not even asking how he knew it was me.
The phone beeped in my ear.
“Look at it,” Romeo said.
Pulling it away, I glanced down at the new text. Tension seeped out of me the second I saw the pic of Drew through the door window.
I stared at it for long minutes, and Romeo waited me out.
When I finally pulled my eyes away, I said, “That’s a shitty photo.”
“My bad. Next time, I’ll try to get his good side.”
I half smiled. “Thanks.”
He grunted.
“The press hasn’t come up there, have they?”
“Fucking vultures,” Romeo spat. “No. They aren’t allowed in the ICU.”
Right. That was good.
“This is why we didn’t tell you about the press,” Braeden said, directing his words toward the back seat. More specifically the man sitting beside me. “More to worry about.”
“He was going to find out sooner or later,” Arrow bitched back.
“Call if anything happens,” I told Romeo.
“Will do.”
“But Braeden’s phone. I don’t know where mine is.”
“I know.” His voice remained patient.
“Send me another picture.”
“I’m hanging up now.”
The call cut off, but seconds later, another pic came through. It looked a lot like the first one, but I didn’t care.
Muffled pain broke through my intent staring, and I realized I was gripping the phone so tight the stitches in my hand were pulling.
“I’ll just hold this for another minute,” I said to Braeden.
As I was staring at the shitty photo of Drew, another notification came up on screen. Curling my lip at it, I surrendered the phone to my brother.
“There must be someone in the hospital leaking info,” Hopper said as he drove. “How else would they know about the next-of-kin fight… and that photo?”
Arrow glanced around. “There’s already videos of you and B coming out of the hospital.”
“Have his parents talked to the press?” I asked.
Calling Drew’s parents by their names was very difficult these days. It was hard to call a person by their name when they acted anything but human.
“No,” Braeden replied.
#Fate Page 9
