Just a Heartbeat Away

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Just a Heartbeat Away Page 20

by Cara Bastone


  “Mind grabbing that lemon pepper?”

  He easily reached up into the cabinet and handed it down to her.

  “Thanks.” She grinned up at him, all golden skin and amber-brown eyes and crooked teeth and damn. Just. Damn.

  He cleared his throat. “Can’t believe you got Matty to eat that hummus earlier today.”

  “Sometimes kids just need you to make the choice for them.”

  He nodded, in total agreement on that front. “You’re really good with kids. Did you always know that you wanted to work with them?”

  “Mmm, since I was twenty or so. At that point, I’d had two years of college under my belt and I was far enough away from the system to feel a little less...haunted by it. And that was around the time that Jetty passed. Fin and I had to go through her house, her belongings, and I saw physical evidence of all the ways she’d supported me through the years. Trophies, photos, letters from me to her. It made me realize how much she’d done for me. Made me want to do the same for other kids.”

  “Made you want to foster?”

  “Maybe someday,” she said as she weighed her head from side to side. “I think I’d be a good mom. But I’ll need a lot more money for that.” She grinned at him. “And a much larger apartment.”

  He turned away from her quickly, momentarily stunned by that easy smile of hers. She wanted to be a mom but wasn’t ready...for circumstantial reasons. Did that mean that if she suddenly had more money and a bigger place, she was emotionally ready to be a mom?

  His stomach churned as she moved around next to him, sliding his tomato mush into a pot and then placing some onions to dice on his cutting board.

  “Mostly, I was thinking of ways to reach the most kids at once. Do as much good as I could, you know? I considered being a social worker, but that ended up hitting a little too close to home for me. I’ve seen so many of them over the years. I ended up going into education and the further I went into the program, the more clear it became that I needed to focus on counseling as well. So I went back for my master’s and here we are.”

  He chuckled at her nonchalant delivery. “Voilà.”

  She smiled at his wry tone. “Easy as pie.”

  “Yeah. Getting a master’s is just like pulling a rabbit out of a hat.”

  She opened her mouth to reply but just then Mary bustled in from the other room, a joke in her eyes. “Oh my God. I think Fin is telling Tyler’s fortune right now, and the poor guy looks like he’s about to pass out.”

  “She’s not!” Via looked horrified, like her friend had decided to put the punch bowl on her head after one too many jungle juices. She hustled immediately out of the kitchen, seemingly to intervene. Seb took a deep breath and was grateful for the momentary reprieve from her little, golden presence. The kids conversation had been a step too far for him. He didn’t need to torture himself with information like that unless he was going to actually do something with it.

  The second she was gone, Mary’s midnight blue eyes slid over to Seb, a sly little look on her face. “And what’s going on in here?” The last word was punctuated by her rolling up on her toes.

  Seb leaned forward and really gave Mary the once-over. She’d pulled her hair back in a tight, matronly bun, and she wore an extremely unflattering sweater. “Why do you look like that?” he asked, in lieu of answering her pointed question. “That’s the ugliest sweater I’ve ever seen.”

  He expected her to be outraged. Mary was a very fashionable woman and had often found herself in the position of defending her sophisticated fashion choices to Tyler or Seb. But today she just grinned. “I changed after work. I just didn’t want to seem threatening at all.”

  “Threatening? To who?”

  “Don’t be dense, Seb.” She raised an arched eyebrow and looked pointedly at Via as the shorter woman scuttled back over to the stove.

  “It wasn’t a full-on reading, but she was definitely trying to spook the hell out of him.”

  “Miss Via?” Matty asked as he strolled into the kitchen like he owned the place.

  Seb turned quickly, and Via laid a hand on his arm. “I told him he could call me Via when we’re doing friend stuff and not school stuff. He actually insisted on keeping the Miss.”

  Seb loosened and nodded at his son, impressed with his politeness.

  “What’s up?” she asked him.

  “When’s dinner? I’m really hungry. Plus, I finished that coloring book.”

  Seb winced. There was no way he’d finished that coloring book in twenty minutes. He knew exactly what he’d find when he went to look at it. A two-color scribble on each page and a declaration that it wasn’t fun if the page wasn’t perfectly pristine.

  “Oh, well, that’s great that you finished it,” Via said. “Because nobody has made me my birthday fort yet.”

  “Your birthday fort?”

  “Yeah.” Via cocked her head at him, spoon in the air. “Every birthday, someone makes me a big fort that I can eat my birthday dinner in. But nobody has done it yet. You wouldn’t happen to be good at making forts, would you?”

  “I’m the best at forts. The BEST.”

  He really was. So good, in fact, that Seb wondered if his son might be as interested in architecture as he’d been at one point.

  “Great. I have to finish dinner, but I’ll get you started.”

  “I’ll help,” Mary chirped, her eyes on Via, obviously just about as charmed by her as Seb was.

  Who am I kidding? No one is as charmed by her as I am.

  It was half an hour later that everyone sat on the floor of Via’s living room with plates of homemade pasta in their laps and a pillow fort precariously towering over them. Crabby hovered, semi-obediently, at the edge of the fort, licking the air at the scent of the sauce and windmilling his tail at anyone who glanced his way. Fin had lit some candles and dimmed the lights. The room twinkled a golden orange, and all of them had instinctively lowered their voices to match the mood.

  The conversation flowed much more casually than the other time the group had spent together. Tyler still sat as far from Fin as he possibly could have and alternated between looking anywhere but at her and staring her down.

  Seb could only hope he looked a little more casual. But he probably blew that when he choked on his wine when Mary opened her big mouth.

  “Where’s Evan tonight, Via?” Mary asked.

  “Oh.” Via looked up quickly, wiping her pretty mouth with a napkin. “He’s still upstate with his family.”

  Upstate.

  She’d said she had stuff to do upstate and then had spent the next week crying. Seb forced the traitorous wine down his throat and crammed a bite of pasta in his mouth, avoiding everyone’s eyes. He could swear that both Mary and Fin were looking at him.

  His mind raced as his stomach tightened down like a tank preparing for battle. Seb figured there were a few different things that could have happened here. Either she’d gone upstate to visit her boyfriend and then cried her eyes out because she had to come back to Brooklyn and just missed him so badly. Or maybe going upstate had nothing to do with Evan and it was all a coincidence? Or. Or. Or. She’d gone upstate, and things had gone badly. I mean, he’s not here on her birthday, a little, asshole-ish voice whispered in Seb’s ear. What if they’d broken up?

  When he finally looked up again, the conversation had flowed on, and it was past 7:30. Matty pushed his bowl of pasta aside and laid his head on Seb’s crossed knee. Seb absently pushed his son’s hair from one side to the other. The candlelight flickered as Fin rose to clear everyone’s plates and Seb’s eyes lifted to Via’s naturally. She was looking at him. At his hand on Matty’s head. But then she was looking directly in Sebastian’s eyes. Unwavering. Her eyes were a dizzying color, somewhere between gold and brown. And for a minute, all they did was just look at one another.

  Seb felt drunk a
nd disoriented when Fin came back in with a lit birthday cake, and Via broke their staring game to laugh and clap her hands.

  He had only had one glass of wine, but he felt like he was currently floating in a lazy ocean the temperature of a Jacuzzi.

  He shook his head and joined in with everyone as they sang for her birthday. Matty perked up at the prospect of chocolate cake, and Mary brought out her present for Via.

  “Ugh.” Seb groaned as Via carefully peeled back each layer of tape and wrapping paper. “You’re one of those people? Just rip it!”

  “Sebastian, you have so much to learn about our Violetta,” Fin told him, a little smile on her face. “She’s gonna save that paper, and later, she’s gonna iron it.”

  “Serafine!” Via admonished as a healthy blush bloomed on her cheeks. “There’s no reason to waste it! It’s reusable!”

  Seb’s stupid, wasted heart thumped hard. An idiotic, clumsy ka-bump. He hoped his smile wasn’t as dopey as he thought it probably was. Look at him. So far gone, he was crushing on her wrapping paper habits.

  “The coasters I wanted! Oh, Mary!” Via flung herself across the pillow fort and grabbed Mary up in a hug. They both laughed.

  “I take that to mean that you like them.”

  “Give them here, sister,” Fin requested in that slow, curling drawl. She inspected the coasters. “That’s nice frosting.”

  “Frosting?” Tyler asked.

  “Jetty, the woman who raised us,” Via explained, “used to say that a good, steady life was like cake. And that every once in a while, you deserved a little frosting. Just little things, little gifts to yourself. Things that don’t make sense to spend your money on unless you’ve paid your bills and have a job and all that. Frosting.”

  “Via’s always liked her frosting extra shiny,” Fin said, a loving smile on her face.

  Seb thought of the copper utensils and pearl-inlaid knives in her kitchen. He looked around at her decor, little bursts of prettiness all over. Colored glass that caught the light, a pillow with little mirrors embroidered around the edges. He thought of those little gold studs she wore, understated and still, somehow, princess-like.

  Seb felt like he could have stayed in the soft, comfortable cave of the candlelit pillow fort with his friends for the next couple of weeks. He didn’t want the world to make him leave. But his lonely dog was whining at the edge of the fort, and his son’s head had lowered to his knee again. The sun had long since set, and it was a school night, after all.

  Via was one of those people who cleaned up the kitchen as she cooked—Muriel’s wet dream, although he tried not to think about that for all sorts of reasons—so there wasn’t much cleanup to do, besides the pillow fort.

  “Sorry to bail,” Seb said as he rose up with Matty in his arms. The kid was already spider-monkeying himself around his dad’s hips and neck, one hot cheek on his shoulder and cake breath wafting up into Seb’s face. Seb tightened his arms around his boy, filled with love for him.

  “No, no.” Via waved away his apology. “It’s almost bedtime. I’m just so glad you stayed. Fin and I probably would have eaten at the regular old dinner table instead of a pillow fort.”

  “You liked the fort?” Matty asked sleepily, tilting his head to see Via.

  She stepped over to Matty and Seb, absently stroking a hand over Matty’s back. Her hand briefly brushed over one of Seb’s, and he refused to clench it into a fist, even if it felt like he’d been sunburned in a good way.

  “I love the fort.”

  “It was my birthday present to you.”

  Seb knew he was biased, but damn, his kid was sweet sometimes. Apparently Via thought so, too, because she leaned forward, puckering her lips, and gave Matty a kiss. The top of her head brushed against Sebastian’s chin, and he shifted a little. He was extremely conscious of their nosy-ass friends all watching him.

  “All right.” Was that his voice? All gravelly and gruff as hell? “Thank you for having us. Sorry we’re leaving you with a mess.”

  “I’ll stay and help clean it up,” Mary insisted.

  “I’ll help you get your dog and kid and all the rest of your crap home, Seb.” Tyler was already gathering Matty’s schoolbag.

  The goodbyes were quick and nondramatic, and it wasn’t until Seb and Tyler were walking home, side by side down the dark sidewalk, that they looked at one another and shook their heads.

  “Jesus Christ, man,” Tyler murmured, checking to make sure Matty was asleep on Seb’s shoulder. He was.

  “Yeah. I mean. Damn it.”

  They both knew what they were talking about.

  Tyler sighed. “I won’t give you shit about how dopey you were with yours, if you don’t give me shit about how dopey I was with mine.”

  Seb laughed and shook his head, at himself and his friend. “Deal. God. We’re like a couple of teenagers.”

  “Middle schoolers, I’d say. We had girlfriends in high school, remember? It was middle school that we were blushing at parties, too scared to tell the pretty girls that we wanted to make out in the back of a movie theater.”

  “That’s what you want to do with Fin?” Seb asked dryly.

  “I probably wouldn’t kick her spooky ass out of the back of a movie theater.”

  They laughed and chatted, making fun of themselves for the rest of the walk back to Seb’s.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  OVER THE NEXT WEEK, Sebastian watched Via very carefully for signs of trauma. He was deeply grateful that the incident with the man in her office hadn’t been worse. In fact, the bruise was already completely gone from her hand.

  He only saw her at softball and school, there being no particular reason to see one another extracurricularly.

  November waltzed in in that stiff-wind, fall-downpour, golden-leaves-at-every-turn sort of way. And then dumped eleven inches of snow on the city.

  Welcome to winter, mofos.

  Just when you thought New York would let you dip a toe into anything. Nope.

  Seb was embarrassed at how cute he found Via’s winter coat. Especially the fact that she was wearing it in the middle of a staff meeting. She was so put together and stylish, he’d figured her for a peacoat kind of gal. But there she was, zipped to the chin in a puffy REI coat he was pretty sure was only used for subzero winter sports.

  “Don’t say a word,” she growled as she plunked down into the chair next to him. “Hi, Shell. Hi, Grace.” She accepted the gum he automatically handed around and lifted an eyebrow.

  “You said not to say a word.” He grinned and lifted his hands in an I’m unarmed type of gesture. “It’s not my business if you have to wear a polar bear parka when it’s forty-two degrees outside.”

  “First of all, that’s saying a word. Second of all, the temp dropped to thirty-nine and there’s a foot and a half of snow on the ground!”

  Seb swallowed his smile down. “There was a whopping seven inches that’s been reduced to a measly four in the sun. Matty didn’t even wear mittens today!”

  “That child is insane. And this school is insane. Can’t the city of New York afford heating in its public schools?”

  “Oh, we’ve got heat,” Grace assured her as she turned around in her chair. “It’s just not evenly distributed. Trust me. Come on down to my classroom and bring your Hawaiian shirt and a piña colada.”

  “It’s true,” Shelly admitted. “But the woman who had your office used to complain, too, Via. Maybe your heating is broken.”

  “I’ll come take a look after the meeting,” Seb said.

  Via furrowed her brow. “You think you can fix the heating in a ninety-year-old building?”

  He shrugged. “Not sure until I see it. But I’m pretty handy.”

  Seb turned to her, and his breath caught in his throat. Was she...? Yeah. Yup. Yes. She was side-eyeing his hands and blushing. Straight-
up blushing.

  Via quickly turned away and shuffled through her messenger bag. But when she straightened up a minute later, not having removed a dang thing, Seb was fairly certain she was just attempting to look busy while she got her blush under control. Interesting. Very interesting.

  Grim chimed the staff meeting to order, and Sebastian struggled to pay attention to a single word that was said.

  It was either his imagination, or Via was especially wiggly today. Usually, she sat completely still, the picture of stoicism. But today she crossed one leg over the other and then switched back. Every time her weight shifted, her shoulder knocked into Seb’s. Frankly, he wasn’t even positive that she could feel it under all that coat, but every touch was kicking his heart into his ribs like the smash of a piñata at a children’s birthday party. Her hands were jumpy, too. She touched her hair, the back of her neck, her fingers dancing over the knee of one leg, tracing the herringbone pattern.

  He had no idea what was going on with her, but frankly, wiggly Via was apparently a turn-on for Seb, and he didn’t need to be popping wood in the middle of a staff meeting.

  “Are you hot?” he leaned over and whispered. He’d miscalculated the distance and he felt the light, fragrant brush of her hair over his lips. Whoops.

  “What?” she asked him, her mouth dropping open and a half-scandalized expression blooming on her face. Half-scandalized and half...something else. The reality of the situation hit Sebastian like a sack full of baseballs to the face. Oh. She thought he meant a different kind of hot. An inappropriate kind of hot. To Seb’s thinking, there was only one reason that her mind would have taken her there so quickly.

  Because she was hot. The inappropriate kind.

  Extremely, painfully aware of their surroundings, Seb attempted to defuse the situation. “Your coat. You’re acting like you’re overheating.”

  “Oh.” A flush crept up her cheeks and her eyes were just a little unfocused.

  Hold the phone. Had she just looked at his mouth?

  “Right. Yeah. You’re right,” she muttered.

 

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