by Chloe Gunter
“You know I’m willing to do the work, I just needed some time to come to terms with everything. It’s not everyday you find out that the secret society you decided to join are really Atlanteans, and now you are too.”
“But don’t we make it look good?” he said, trying to lighten the mood. “Listen, Char, the night you found out, that could have gone better. I’m sorry—”
“Reed,” I said, placing my hand on his and stopping the constant stirring of his food. “Things could have been handled better on both of our ends. Let’s just focus on what needs to be done now. I need to integrate, right?”
His old-fashioned glass green eyes finally lifted from his bowl and I was momentarily stunned by the intensity in them. He looked like he did when he was leading a seminar, how I’d imagined he looked when he was on an op. I knew whatever he said next would be important to him.
“There will come a day where we will have this full conversation, Charlie, and you will hear me out. We are irrevocably tied together now, and if you think that I’m going to let this go, to not address this distance between us, then that would be a mistake.”
I had seen him playful and joyful, laughing and joking and carefree. I had even seen him break once, a rare sight I was sure, the night that still hung over us. But I hadn’t seen Reed with this level of intensity and determination before, especially when it was directed at me.
“That day isn’t today,” I said softly. “I know that you were acting under the best intentions, and that I shouldn’t have stayed away so long, but that doesn’t change how I felt or the fact that I deserved some time to process. Things between us have changed, Mountain Man.”
“And they’ll change a million more times. But one thing I refuse to do is let you shut me out.”
“Is that even possible?” I asked. “With you being my sponsor and all?”
“Emotionally, with your level of awareness, sure. Physically...probably not. Our Sparks have the same core frequency since I’m your sponsor. You’d probably be able to shut out Ramsey, even though he was my sponsor, because his core Spark, while similar to mine, is different enough that he wouldn’t innately connect with you.”
“I meant just physically being around each other, for fucks sake. You make it sound like you’re going to be able to do some mind control shit on me, which I am so not down for.”
“Pft. If I could mind control you then I’d be making you go to karaoke with me, Char,” he said making us both laugh, the early look of determination now gone from his eyes.
“I’m sure there is way more information than I comprehend right now that I’m going to need to know,” I said, thinking of my earlier conversation with Gavin and his mention of the archives. “Preferably, starting with whatever you meant about physically shutting people out.”
“Well, technically, I guess it’s more mentally. Either during the Keys or before you go on your first mission, you’ll get a comm link, it’s a subdermal implant made out of an Atlanteum alloy that acts as a transmitter of sorts. When you use your Spark to activate it, your innate link will be to me. It won’t take more than us being in proximity with our Sparks activated for it to sync. Then we’ll be able to talk to each other whenever and wherever we need to, all without uttering a single word out loud.” That must have been how Gavin and Gage communicated last night, how Gage knew the exact moment to enter.
“What about for others outside the main connection?” I asked, curiously. I had expected elite technology, I mean, they had fucking portals, but I had never considered this.
“It’s slightly more difficult to make the connection, but once it’s formed, then you’re good to go. Think of it like a radio, you search for a station to come out clear until it does. Now you know that pre-set, and you can turn the station on or off whenever you want.”
“If I’m going to need to get one regardless, then I want one before the boys leave.” There was no way to know how long they would be gone, and I wanted a way to stay connected.
“I’ll make it happen. We’ll get you to where you need to be to sync with them before they go,” Reed promised, and some tension I didn’t know I was carrying slid off my shoulders.
“Thank you,” I said sincerely.
“So things are going well with them both?” Reed asked, and I could see the mischief in his eyes.
It was a question a friend would ask, and even if I wasn’t ready to go into everything that had happened between the two of us, Reed was still my friend. I knew he genuinely cared about me, just like I cared about him.
“They are,” I said, smiling. “How is Ramsey?”
“Not so fast, Char. I may let you slide on talking about some things, but you have not one, but two men in your life, and all you say is two words about them. Nope, I’ll tell you all about Ramsey, but I want a real answer, babe.”
“You just want to live vicariously through me,” I teased.
“I’m not denying it,” he said laughing. “Though I’m not looking for more men in my life, Ramsey is all I can handle.”
“And I’m sure you handle him well,” I quipped back. “The guys are...well, they’re more than I hoped for. We’ve figured out a good flow together, and I can honestly say they’re comfortable with me seeing them both. I love them, and though I wasn’t expecting to find that when I came here, I’m incredibly happy I did.”
“I’m glad things worked out between you, they’re good guys. Good family.”
“Ah yes, I’m sure I’ve left a wonderful impression on them already,” I said, sarcastically.
“Self-deprecation is unbecoming of you, Char. You essentially took a bullet for each of their sons, they’ll welcome you just fine. It’s not like I would sponsor just anyone,” he finished, snagging a piece of my cornbread as I slapped his hand away.
“Yes, we all know your impeccable taste includes more than your British god of a boyfriend. How is he?” I asked, not having seen Ramsey since initiation.
“He’s a bit stressed with work. More strategic meetings, more planning, more assignments. He definitely could use a moment to relax sometime soon, but him and I are still solid like always.” He took a long drink of his beer as he looked down the bottle at me. I could tell from his cues that he was debating whether or not to say more to me. “You’ll see him tomorrow night. Right before you came I got the message that they called a local Conclave, which means you’ll get to try on a new set of those robes you love so much. If we’re not in an active mission, we’re required to be there.”
“What does a Conclave look like?”
“The first time I went to Conclave I’m pretty sure my mouth was open the entire time, it’s pretty awe inspiring. But first things first, Char,” he said, pushing his bowl back from the table. “Let’s get you integrated.”
After we cleaned up dinner we went into the living room where Reed promptly moved the large coffee table with ease. Grabbing a throw off of the couch, he spread the blanket on the floor before turning towards me.
“Okay, so this works best if you’re in a relaxed state. The less tense or preoccupied you are, the less resistance you’ll meet. So if you want to take your ponytail down or socks off, whatever you need to do to get completely comfortable, do it, then take a seat in front of me on the floor,” Reed directed.
I watched his large frame sink to the floor, one leg stretched diagonally in front of him while the other was tucked closer, back resting against the couch. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths, the rise and fall of his chest more pronounced.
Following his directions, I undid my ponytail, running my fingers against my scalp to undo the remaining ache before rolling my neck a few times. I took off my watch and emptied my pockets, setting the things on an end table before sinking down to the floor. Reed opened one eye, watching me blow my bangs from my face.
“What’s next, Mountain Man?” I asked.
“Alright, you need to get in tune with your Spark before you can integrate it throughout your body. I kno
w you can control your heart rate and responses from your training, so slowly start putting your body at rest and let me know when you’re at that sort of floating peace.”
I closed my eyes, blocking out any outside distractions as I started to slow my breathing. With each breath that I took, I sank deeper, my body becoming heavy against the floor. When I first began training, I did countless hours of meditation to be able to get to this state. I guess some things really do come full circle.
“Ready,” I said softly, keeping my eyes closed.
“In this state you should be able to feel your Spark more clearly. It will feel almost like a current, a tingle of electricity that almost feels like an itch. It will probably be coiled together in a single area of your body right now, Char. Let me know when you find it,” Reed said, his voice calm and even.
I knew exactly what he was referring to as he said it, the feeling prominent, like something foreign in my body. As if focusing on it made it more alert, the sensation of my Spark started to grow and move closer to my center.
“I feel it.”
“Okay, Char. Imagine your Spark as a warm ball of light. Start with the tips of your toes and think about it bathing you in that light, warming your feet...slowly making its way up your legs as you sink into the floor.”
Visualizing his words, I felt the Spark start to disperse, focusing on the areas he called out, the intensity seeming to level off the more I took on.
“Through your hips and into your core, Char, feel the warmth and light crawl into your chest and down your arms before circling back to the base of your neck. Let it fill your head, your whole body bathed in your Spark. It should feel like a soft vibrating blanket across you.”
My body let out an involuntary shudder as I let out a deep breath, completely in tune with the energy coursing through me.
“This next part I need to touch you, Char,” Reed said, making me do a mental check on my heart rate, making sure not to lose the feeling I was holding onto. “One hand on your head and one hand on your chest, babe. My hands are going to feel cold to you, but you should be able to feel a hum from them. Let me know when you do.”
His hand touched the back of my head first, cupping my head firmly while his thumb rested at my temple, his cool touch piercing through the warmth coursing through my body. He had obviously moved positions, now close enough for me to hear his steady breaths. His palm pressed against my sternum, the cold even more shocking to my core as I fought to stay at ease.
“Hold onto it, Char. You can do this, just feel for the hum.”
His coldness sank into me, almost numbing the areas he touched as I tried to distinguish the hum of his energy. It was like trudging through a blizzard with no line of sight until finally you were able to distinguish that one hint of life in the distance. I honed in on that speck until the vibration was clear. It was an even tone, more at peace than the high strung energy that coursed through me.
“I- I can feel it now,” I whispered, the sound barely audible from my lips.
“This is the last step, Char. Match your Spark to mine. Slow it down until you’re at the same frequency as my hum. Your whole body is going to get really, really cold, babe, but you need to hang in there until you can match me. I’ll be with you the whole way.”
It took me a minute to figure out how to adjust at all, the sheer cold numbing my thoughts, the constant pressure of Reed’s hands on me the only thing tethering me to my end goal. Slowly but surely, my Spark began to settle out, the feeling going from less of a vibration and closer to a racing heartbeat. The closer I got, the more painful it became, the icy burn of the cold made me gasp.
“You’re almost there, Char. You’ve got this,” Reed said confidently as he applied slightly more pressure to my sternum.
It was almost like free falling. The moment my Spark matched his, the cold disappeared, leaving me weightless and disoriented. That, or it could have been the fact that Reed swept me up into his arms, setting me on the leather couch before wrapping me up in the throw and tucking me into his side.
I was more at peace than I had been in weeks.
We sat in silence, Reed not saying a word or cracking a joke as he waited for me to say something.
“Is it always like that?” I asked finally, wondering if I would feel that intense icy pain every time.
“No, that's just because you were still essentially running on a piece of my Spark that I gave you at initiation. Now that it’s integrated into your entire body, it will adapt to you and grow over time. Remember how I told you it would be similar enough for an innate comm link with me, but different enough to block others? That’s why.”
“Grow?” I asked, my head still trying to comprehend everything I learned tonight as I rested against Reed.
“After this you need to get some rest, Char. I promise to answer the rest tomorrow if you want, okay?” I nodded, looking up to him to continue. “Sparks grow stronger with time, unless you’re transferring your Spark, which well, you know how that is, it will become easier and easier for you to utilize our technology and advancements.”
“But how—”
“Nuh-uh, Char. Don’t give me that look with those doe eyes of yours. I know you can make them into anything I want to see, and I’m not falling for it, woman. It’s time for sleep.”
A squeak escaped me as he picked me up off the couch and set me on my feet, unwrapping the throw from around me and ushering me towards my room, making sure I made it to bed. I didn’t realize just how exhausted and drained I was until my head hit my pillow, and I fell straight to sleep.
Wintery wind sliced through my lungs as I made my way around the track. Running had always been a constant in my life, especially during those last two weeks. It had helped me recenter myself and get through the fog of hurt to focus on my goals. The reason I not only joined Ethos, but GRAVITAS in the first place.
I wanted to make a difference in the world.
There were no lengths that I wouldn’t go to make sure the people I loved were safer, that ensured that safety for generations to come. If that meant sacrificing and getting a bit burned in the process, so be it.
After integrating last night, I slept soundly, my body mentally and physically exhausted. But when I woke, a sense of lightness settled me, more at peace then I had been in awhile. My head was clear, my strides strong, and when I saw that salt-and-pepper head of hair jogging on the track in the distance, I knew what I had to do.
I picked up the pace, lengthening my strides until I pulled up to his side. Casting a glance over to him, I found him staring straight ahead.
He saw me. There was no way he hadn’t, which meant he was making the conscious decision to ignore me.
If there was anyone from this whole thing who deserved an apology, it wasn’t Reed. Hell, it wasn’t even me. It was him.
He hadn’t even been involved with Ethos and I had laid into him when he had been trying to genuinely help me. He had offered me unwavering support and I had essentially turned my back on him.
I guess this week was all about making things right and getting back on track.
I pushed myself harder, getting the lead on him and cutting into his path before turning around and jogging backwards. I wasn’t going to let him brush me aside, not like I had. I respected the fuck out of him, and he needed to know that.
When I turned around to face him, his face was on lock down, the epitome of a steel wall. The same facade I had seen him use when he was in full on Director mode. He came to a stop, resting his hands on his hips as he stared me down in silence.
“I’m sorry,” I said sincerely, leading with the most important thing as I came to a halt.
His jaw clenched slightly, before he lifted one eyebrow and asked, “And what, Agent DeWitt, would you be sorry for?”
“For accusing you of something you had no part in. I’m sorry for acting like a complete bitch when you were just being a supportive friend. You didn’t deserve that,” I finished, making sure t
o hold his gaze the entire time.
It wasn’t the time to sugar coat an apology, his use of my last name told me as much. I knew that if I couldn’t convince him that I was being genuine, and that I wasn’t merely apologizing to save face, that he would write me off as just another asset and any type of friendship we had begun to form would be completely obliterated.
“You’re right, I didn’t deserve the way you treated me last time we were on this track,” he took a moment looking me over, searching for something I had no idea if he’d find. “You seem to have your shit together now, you want to tell me what all that was about?”
If I wasn’t honest with him, then that wouldn’t do either of us any good. But, it wasn’t like I could share everything that had happened to lead me up to that point. I guess it really came down to why he was asking.
“Are you asking as Assistant Director Ridley or as Wyatt?”
“Wyatt,” he said after a moment, giving me a chance to try and make things right.
“I mistakenly thought you were trying to pull one over on me,” I started, framing the situation in the barest terms. “A personal incident occurred with Gavin and Gage that led me to believe you may have had a hand in it.”
“The Russo twins? One of whom I saw you hanging out with at Veritas? You do realize that was incredibly vague, DeWitt,” he pointed out, not backing down but still willing to listen, to give me a chance to explain.
It wasn’t like I could say, ‘I thought you orchestrated for me to play Russian Roulette with two people I love, so instead I fired three shots into my own head.’ So I guessed my only option was to be honest about the guys directly, and hope that he didn’t look at me differently afterwards.
“I didn’t know they were twins, not at first. Gavin and I started seeing each other shortly after I arrived. But let's just say I got caught with my ‘pants around my ankles’ and learned the hard way that they were twins,” I confessed, completely admitting to a fuck up of royal proportions.
