by Chloe Gunter
"What's wrong?" Ramsey asked, noticing my sudden change and sitting up straighter on the bed.
"The guys—" I started, looking up to the ceiling as if somehow it would have all the answers. They had both been with me every step of the way last night, from my panic and determination, down to the point where I had told Reed that I loved him.
My insides were a jumbled mess trying to analyze a situation that I didn't have all the details to. So many unanswered questions lingered in my mind, including what happened after I blacked out. My breaths became quicker, the rise and fall of my chest so spastic that I was on the verge of a full-blown panic attack.
Things had just started going right. Getting to a solid place with the twins, finishing the Keys, teaching my first seminar, and patching up things with Reed, my life was back on track.
But somehow, I had fallen in love again.
It wasn't the sweet kind of love I had with Gavin, the romantic notions and intrigue. The way his patience and acceptance filled a room, while his thirst for culture led to exploring new things. With Gavin, it was an easy kind of love, that always had the ability to put me at peace.
And it wasn't the all consuming love I had with Gage, the fiery passion and desperation. Gage never did anything by halves, so when his attention was on me, it was like I was one breath away from being swallowed whole without any regrets. It was a demanding love, but as much as it took from me, it gave me so much more.
The love I had for Reed was steadfast, sometimes in the background, but always present. No matter what our relationship weathered, I knew in my heart that he would always be there for me. Reed had become my best friend and confidant, his humor and affection warming parts of me I didn't know I needed.
Loving Reed was like coming home.
Except that I actually did come home to Reed, which made my head spin again, trying to sort everything out. Reed was very much taken, just like me. The very man he loved was still grasping my hand in that moment as he waited patiently for me to process through my thoughts.
"The guys know you're safe and they love you, Charlotte. When you blacked out completely, the link shut down. I told them I'd have you reach out to them as soon as you were coherent."
Reaching over to the stand for a drink, I could feel the fatigue throughout my body, no doubt recovering slower now that my Spark was weak. Taking a long pull through the straw, I met Ramsey's gaze head on, his weary eyes already on mine.
"Where do we go from here, Sarge?"
The question was honest and open, and I hoped to God he knew what we should do. My eyes drifted to Reed, who was sleeping beside me, the rise and fall of his chest a reassuring visual that he was in fact alright. He looked so much better already than he did last night. A shudder surged through me as I remembered how his body was slumped across the floor.
"For now, you're going to go take a shower and reassure the guys that you're okay. Then food, and then Beth will be by to take you to Wellington," Ramsey said soothingly.
"Wellington?"
"Beth and a couple of others showed up after you blacked out and helped with you and Reed. Wellington requested a meeting concerning the matter as soon as you were up and about. Beth, I'm sure, will be relieved to see you. Gavin and Gage got in touch with her last night while she was checking in."
Nodding my head absently, worry crashed into me again. How was Wellington going to handle everything? Still being on probation left me feeling uneasy, and I wasn't sure how my involvement last night would be received.
Ramsey had also managed to gracefully avoid the intent of my question. About what would happen now with us. If there was an us.
The guys and Ramsey all heard the events of last night, the words of love exchanged between Reed and I, but I didn’t have the faintest idea what that all meant. Plus, I wasn't going to assume anything about how Ramsey may or may not feel about me. I knew he cared about me, but I wasn't sure if it was anything more than a close friendship. Which, if I was being honest with myself, made my heart heavy and light at the same time.
"Charlotte?" Ramsey said, concern in his gaze.
"I know this isn't the time to talk about this," I said, raising my eyes once again to meet his, "but I need you to seriously think about and consider my place in your life and Reed's life. If this is too much, if it's too complicated or there are any reservations, then I want to know sooner rather than later. I can move in with the guys if need be, and we can still be friends, but for my own sense of self-preservation and my relationships, I can't put myself into a situation that's going to cause more harm than good."
Weary steel-eyes peeked out from his chaotic dark locks. I had never seen him disheveled before. The entire effect was impactful in a way that matched the levity of the situation.
He took a long moment before answering me, the gears in his head no doubt turning over everything I said and didn't say. The fact that I questioned him and his place in my life.
A long measured exhale from his lips broke the silence, his body still lined with tension.
"Once Reed is awake, and we've had time to think and talk, you'll have your answer."
Shifting my legs off to the side of the bed, I tentatively rose and found that physically, I was mostly okay. A little weak, but nothing that a week and some rest wouldn't help. It would probably be a few weeks before my Spark was back up to a level that didn’t leave me feeling drained, but it was nothing compared to knowing Reed was going to be okay. With a small touch to his shoulder, I passed Ramsey and headed out of the room.
Scalding hot water beat down on my skin as I rested my head against the wall and the rusty-colored water swirled down the drain. My skin was scarlet, both from the temperature and all the scrubbing of trying to get rid of the leftover blood.
Reed's blood.
Loss, or the threat of loss, always hits you harder when it's close to home. And right then, all I really wanted was a fucking hug.
Reaching out to Gavin and Gage as I finished washing off, I poured as much warmth and affection as I possibly could into my words.
I love you both, with all that I am, and I'm so grateful to have you in my life. I don't think that I could have done what I needed to do last night without your silent support.
Their links were wide open, and I could feel their relief at my words.
I love you, cara. Always, Gavin said passionately, yet I detected a hint of frustration through our link.
Sensing a disconnect in the link from them took me by surprise, but in the next second, I saw a flash of light peak over the top of the shower curtain. A quick rustle of what sounded like boots and clothes hit the floor before the curtain pulled back and in stepped Gage, his hands immediately seeking me and pulling me against him.
It seemed that showers were our go-to place whenever shit had hit the fan.
As I breathed him in, my body started to relax. I rested my head on his shoulder, his hands now rubbing up and down my back soothingly.
"Gav?" I mumbled, turning my head into his neck.
"He's about to meet with some of the contacts he made in the port. I only have a few minutes myself while I have the signal looped so GRAVITAS can't tell where I am," he said, his head resting on top of mine.
"You need to go and have his back." Giving him a squeeze, I stepped back slightly and pressed a kiss to his newly shaved jaw.
"What I needed to do was make sure you're alright. I know it's killing him that he couldn't come as well, but it was too risky. This is the first chance either of us had, and I needed to touch you. To make sure with my own eyes that you were okay after everything that happened last night."
"I'm okay as I can be," I said softly.
"Fuck, baby girl, being able to hear everything that was happening and feel what you were feeling but not actually being able to help was terrifying. Thank god Ramsey was there. Him and Mom filled us in after you went dark. I've never been more scared in my life.” He sucked in a deep breath. “Not even when you raised that g
un to your head and pulled the trigger."
His lips slammed down against mine, desperate and needy, and I gave him back everything I was feeling in the moment. Raw, unbridled emotions circled between us, making us cling to each other.
Stepping back, I was the first one to pull away, knowing that our time was up and that he needed to get back. Reaching a hand behind me, I turned off the shower and opened the curtain, reaching for the towel rack. Drying off quickly, I watched as Gage slipped into his clothes, his eyes never straying far from mine.
"I love you."
The words were simple and true, and they were the most I could offer, given how our time together was going to be cut short, nothing more than a stolen moment.
"We meant what we said last night, Bird. It's okay that you love them too. Your heart has more than enough room for all of us, and with our line of work, it's comforting to know that someone will always have your back."
"Them?"
Surely he wasn't including both Reed and Ramsey in that statement. Ramsey and I had always had a unique relationship; we were close friends, but I got the feeling that he was always holding back and keeping me at arms length. Not that I could blame him. The night before was the closest we had ever gotten, the first time he had voluntarily offered me physical comfort.
"You heard what I said," Gage said firmly, bending down to tie his boots. "Just let yourself feel, baby girl. It's okay to want things. We aren't going anywhere and we'll always support you. Plus, at this point, I'm pretty sure you already won half the battle last night."
A grin graced his face as his ocean-blue eyes did a smirk of their own. Rolling my eyes in a completely undignified way, while acknowledging the truth, I gave Gage one last kiss before he quickly opened a portal and headed back to Catania.
I quickly dressed in a loose black t-shirt and a pair of athletic pants. I knew I’d have to meet Wellington later, but I doubted he'd expect me to be in uniform or stand on any type of pomp and circumstance after everything that happened last night. With a job like his, I was sure he had seen more than his fair share of things.
Walking into the kitchen, I found Ramsey setting a steaming hot bowl and sleeve of crackers down at the table. He looked unsettled still, but when the shrill of the kettle went off, his shoulders relaxed slightly as he went through the familiar notions of steeping a couple cups of tea.
"Sit down and eat, Charlotte. I can't be that entertaining to watch," he said from over his shoulder, not even bothering to look back at me.
Taking a spot in front of the bowl, I was surprised to find chicken noodle soup. It was the kind that was always a touch too salty, with the thin noodles and the small chunks that are supposedly chicken. But it was also the kind I loved. The same kind that my parents, and probably a million others parents, fed me when I was sick growing up, back when they were more involved.
"I know it's out of a can, but it's all I could manage right now. At least the tea's acceptable," Ramsey said, setting a mug in front of me and taking a long drink from his own.
"It's not that," I promised, shaking my head slightly. "Thank you, Sarge, I really appreciate it."
"Think nothing of it," he replied automatically, and I saw him glance at the doorway to Reed's room with a torn look.
"Go. Be with him. It will make both of us feel better," I urged him with a gesture towards the door. "Beth will be here soon anyway to take me to Wellington, and I could honestly use a few moments to collect myself before then."
"Find me after," he said firmly, leaving no room for argument, before heading back to watch over Reed.
Crushing some saltines into my soup, I ate in a daze, my mind working through the events of the past twenty-four hours. A while later, a gentle request against my mind had me sitting up straighter as I connected with Beth.
He's ready for you. Are you alright with me portaling there first?
Her words were considerate, as was the lack of a surprise visit, given that I didn't have much extra energy to spare, much less any alloy. I let her know it was alright to come over before picking up my now empty bowl and placing it in the dishwasher.
Moments later, she appeared with a warm smile and wrapped me up in a hug. Taken aback, it took me a second before I hugged her in return, feeling a bit awkward and stiff at first.
"Sorry," she murmured. "The boys were so worried. We were worried. And well, I know we don't know each other as well as we’d like, but you're family now."
Her acceptance and words warmed my heart. My parents were practical people, and sure, they loved my sister Alicia and I, but they never offered the easy affection Beth showed me. I had found more than close friends, partners and lovers here... I had found a home.
And whoever had hurt Reed had threatened that home, and I was going to make sure they got what they deserved.
Giving Beth one more squeeze, I whispered a choked “Thank you,” before pulling away. She quickly raised her hand with her Atlanteum bracelet in an arc, drawing forth the portal.
Following Beth through the gateway, I found myself in front of a wood-burning fireplace. The smell of timber and smoke lingered in the air as a gentle fire rolled amongst the logs. It was the same room Reed and I had been in before, back when I was first put on probation.
Wellington was sitting in one of the high-backed leather armchairs, a well-worn book in his lap. He looked less intense in this setting, though he still held a formidable air about him.
"Thank you for coming, Bird," he said, setting the book to the side.
I stayed silent, simply nodding my head in acknowledgment and taking a seat on the couch across from him. Beth joined me a moment later, her presence settling some of the errant nerves I had over the meeting.
"I've asked you to come in today for a couple reasons, both centering around the events that transpired last night with Whistler. It's my understanding that he managed to make it back to your place of residence. Did he happen to say anything before he collapsed that might shed some light on the situation?"
"No, sir. He could barely manage a word before he lost consciousness." The scene flashed before my eyes again, my insides still raw and ragged. I doubted it would ever get better, the jagged edges were bound to stick with me for years to come.
"I figured as much. Our external sensors were knocked out shortly after Whistler and Benoit arrived. Crash is currently trying to salvage what's left of the singlet Whistler was wearing. We're hoping that it managed to capture some images to help us determine where this threat is coming from."
"Are there any leads as of yet?"
"Benoit was unfortunately killed in action, but the European contingent was able to recover his body, and some of the damage was concerning to say the least. We're not certain if one of them misfired, or something went wrong and he was on the cusp of the blast radius, but the burns along his body were consistent with some of the same patterns our smart bombs cast with their high energy signature."
Absorbing the new information, I realized that Reed was going to have even more to handle when he woke up. God, if he had been the one to set off the bomb, the guilt alone of harming another person would eat him alive.
"What was the second thing you wanted to speak with me about?" I asked, wanting to have as much information as possible so I could start forming a game plan.
"I wanted to let you know that you are officially off probation, Bird. Not many people could have done what you managed to do last night, much less someone coming directly out of mastering the Keys. You saved the life of a fellow member, at risk to your own, and that is something that we don't take lightly. You've proved your dedication ten-fold, and we'd be honored to have you as a full-fledged member of our ranks."
Unfiltered surprise had to be on my face, because Beth put a hand on my knee and said encouragingly, "You've earned it. Last night withstanding, you're one of the best illusionists I've ever seen. Your skills are definitely an asset to our team, and I'd be proud to serve alongside you."
A
sincere smile graced my lips as I said my parting thanks and farewell to Wellington.
Pride filled me, the humble kind, that made me glad that I had proven myself and could fully be trusted to help those around me I cared dearly for. I could be there for Gavin and Gage more now, Reed too. Hell, if Ramsey let me, we could form our own little ragtag crew to get to the bottom of whatever was going on, with the help of the rest of Ethos.
All I had to do was step through the gate Beth had cast and head home.
The sun began to break through the trees as I made my fifth lap around the track. Wyatt ran beside me silently, having joined me after the first couple of laps. He seemed to recognize that my mind was full that morning, offering me a small smile and a nod before matching my stride, which was noticeably slower than usual, given my low energy.
As long as I didn't have to run that damn obstacle course within five minutes again, I should survive.
Reed had woken up late the night before, a few hours after I had returned from talking with Wellington, with no further information on who was behind his attack. He was exhausted, mentally and physically. Ramsey had managed to get him to eat a little before going back to bed to rest.
Ethos had covered for them both, giving them the day off from their GRAVITAS duties, so no explanations were needed. I guess sometimes it paid to know people in high places.
I'd left that morning with promises to join them for dinner after I finished all my work for the day. While I could have used a day of rest too, it would have been harder to explain, and I really wanted to get in and do some work on the Catania mission. Seeing Gage briefly had made me miss them even more.
Slowing down to a walk, I headed to where I had sat my water bottle, noticing Wyatt's reusable one beside it. After a few drinks, he gave me another once over that had me shaking my head.
"I can see that it's killing you not to say anything. I'm fine, promise. I'm just tired this morning."
