by Lea Wait
Ma looked up, her face red and swollen with weeping. “What more can you do than care for him as you are doing?”
“I can go for a doctor. I can ride near as well as the boys, and I’m no use in the field. We won’t starve for my absence.”
“Cassie, no. You should not have been listening. Your father is right. We have to accept what God wills:”
“If Will should die, then we’ll have no choice. But he is not yet dead, and I am going:” She quickly untied her apron and handed it to Ma. “I’ll return as soon as I can. I know I must honor you and Pa. But I have to do this. Please understand:”
Ma did not try to stop her.
CHAPTER 4
Cautiously Cassie headed Sarah, their old mare, down the narrow road, deeply scarred by the tracks wagon wheels had made in spring mud. The deep ruts made it unsafe to go very fast. After a mile the road would divide and, at that point, would widen. Then they would be able to go more quickly. But in which direction?
Cassie talked quietly to the horse, “If we turn right, that will mean six miles of riding south to the ferry that crosses the Kennebec River to Bath, where Dr. Bradford is. That’s the shortest way. But I don’t know if the ferry is running today, or if someone would give us free passage. And Pa did not speak highly of Dr. Bradford.” She patted the horse gently and kept talking. “Maybe Pa would better accept another doctor. If we turn left, we’ll go north, toward Wiscasset, where Alice is. The road is a little longer, but there are no rivers to cross. And Alice will help us. There must be a doctor in Wiscasset”
Without hesitating, Cassie turned north at the fork.
Even here, where the hard earth road was wider, there were rocks and branches in the path. Sarah picked her way between them. Cassie failed to notice a low branch, which scraped her face. It would take longer to reach Wiscasset than she had imagined. But she could not hurry; if Sarah were injured, then she, like Susan the cow, would be unfit for work. The mare might be old, but her strength was essential to the farm, She pulled their wagon to church on Sundays; she carried them to nearby farms for supplies or friendship. Without her the Ames family would be much more isolated.
Cassie patted Sarah. She tried not to think of how much pain Will was in, or what the time was, or what Pa would say when he discovered she had gone.
It was late morning before she drew up in front of Alice’s small whitewashed house on Middle Street, just two blocks from John Stacy’s store, where Alice’s husband, Aaron, worked. Quickly she tied Sarah to the granite horse block and ran to the door.
“Cassie! What has happened? Why are you here?” Alice held her sister at arm’s length. Cassie’s long hair was matted, and her dark blue dress was soaked with sweat. “No matter the cause—you’re in need of a long drink, and something to eat if you’ve ridden all the way from home.”
Cassie nodded as she tried to speak, and gestured toward her horse.
“And of course Sarah, too, should have water. Aaron!” Alice turned toward the back of the house, “Aaron, come quickly! Cassie’s here.”
Alice’s stocky young husband came out from the back room, still holding the pewter tankard he had been drinking from. “What has happened that your ma and pa sent you all this way alone?”
Cassie shook her head again.
“I’ll get her something to drink and a place to sit. You care for her horse.” Alice guided Cassie toward the kitchen.
A few minutes later, after managing to swallow a small glass of water, Cassie was able to talk.
“Pa did not send me. I left. Will is hurt. Bad. His ax slipped.” Cassie took a deep breath. “It was all my fault, Alice. I screamed because I saw a black snake, and it startled him. His left leg is swollen and blackening, and Pa says he is dying, but Ma wanted a doctor, and so I took Sarah and came. He needs a doctor. Quick!”
“Poor Will!” Alice hesitated only a moment, “Dr. Theobold lives close by. Aaron will go and tell him how to get to the farm. You sit and rest:”
“I have to go back.” Cassie started to get up. “I want to be with Will. And Ma and Pa will be worried about me.”
Alice looked at her little sister again. “You’re too weary to ride back now, and Sarah needs rest. We’ll ask Dr. Theobold to take both of us back in his wagon. Aaron can bring Sarah in a few days and fetch me home. I should be with the family too.”
Cassie squeezed her sister’s hand.
“I knew it was right to come to you, Alice. The doctor will help. He’ll make ’Will well!”
“I hope so, Cassie, I hope so.”
CHAPTER 5
September 8, late afternoon
In the confusion Pa has not even scolded me for leaving without permission, and after a moment’s hesitation he hugged me in silent thanks when he saw Alice and the doctor. Now is not the moment to talk with him. Dr. Theobold has examined Will’s leg, but his expression is not hopeful as he talks with Pa and Ma in the kitchen yard. Alice is preparing supper, and I should be helping, but I cannot until I know whether my fetching of a doctor has helped. Perhaps there is no use. But I could not give Will up without knowing he had every possible chance. I pray Dr. Theobold can save him. He must.
Dr. Theobold’s voice was low as he spoke with Ma and Pa. “The boy will die, and soon, if the leg is not removed. And there is only a chance that surgery can keep him alive. He has been weakened by the gangrene. More than half of such patients die.”
Pa shook his head. “So you will cause him more pain, and he may die anyway? And if he should live … his life has already been lost. How can a man farm without a leg?”
“But he might live! If he does, we will have time to help him learn to live without a leg. If the doctor does not try, there will be no time.” Ma looked pleadingly at her husband. “Remember how Will loves the sunlight and the smells of the barn and field? Let the doctor do what he can. Give Will this chance.”
Pa hesitated. Nathan and Simon stood near the kitchen door, keeping Ethan away and hoping to overhear the decision. “We have three fine sons left,” he finally said. “Will is going to be a burden to the family for the rest of his life if he lives a cripple.”
“Mr. Ames, there are professions not requiring a leg. Many fine soldiers in the War of 1812 lost limbs and walk with crutches or with wooden legs.” Dr. Theobold hesitated. “But it won’t be easy for Will, it is true. Or for any of you. And I would need assistance with the surgery itself.”
Ma looked up at him. “Whatever you need, we will provide.”
Pa looked from her to the doctor, “My wife is right, Doctor. We’ll do what we can to help you.”
Dr. Theobold touched both of their arms. “You’re doing what is best for the boy. This is his only chance.” He saw Nathan and Simon in the doorway. “I’ll need two strong men to help hold Will while I’m working.” He looked again at Pa. “It won’t be easy to watch.”
Pa nodded. “Nathan and I will do what needs to be done.”
“Good. Mrs. Ames, have you sand to scour your floor?”
“In the back shed”
“You must get it. Well use your kitchen table for the surgery; the light is better there than in the room where Will is now. Put the table near the window, leaving room to walk around it, and layer the floor with all the sand you have.”
Ma looked at him questioningly.
“The sand is to help absorb the blood, so none of us will slip. Put an old blanket on the table to help cushion Will. Bring me clean linens that I may use as dressings. And make sure the fire is high.”
Ma walked quickly toward the house.
Dr. Theobold looked again at Pa. “The younger children should not be in the room. But if your wife could stay to help with the fire and to fetch anything I might have need of, that would be helpful. Can she do that?”
Mr. Ames looked after his wife. “If she must.”
“I will get my instruments from the wagon. You talk with your family. And gather any liquor you have in the house.”
It di
d not take long for the preparations to be made. Nathan agreed to help, as did Ma. Simon and Alice took Ethan outside.
“Please, sir, I would like to help,” said Cassie to Dr. Theobold. “I have been tending Will. I know what his leg is like.”
The doctor looked at Ma. She hesitated and then nodded.
“If any of you feel faint, move outside. Do not feel ashamed. It happens. But I cannot have anyone fainting and knocking against Will or me while I am operating.”
Cassie shook her head. “I will not faint.”
Dr. Theobold pulled needles, pins, forceps, knives, and two saws, one larger than the other, from his box and laid them on a counter near the table. “I will need hot water, a kettleful,” he directed. “Heat this in the fire,” he added, handing Ma a three-inch-wide strip of iron with a wooden handle. “And be sure this is hot.” He handed her a tin pail of hardened tar.
Pa and Nathan picked Will up and carried him to the table. Thankfully, Will did not seem to know what was happening. “Give him as much rum as he can take,” the doctor directed Cassie. “The liquor may help dull his pain.”
Cassie took the bottle from Pa and started spooning the rum down Wills throat. He choked, and looked about in confusion, but swallowed. Dr. Theobold removed the dressings from Will’s leg. Pa and Nathan both stepped back; they had not seen the swollen and blackened limb Ma and Cassie had been tending. The dense odor of decaying flesh filled the room.
“Mr. Ames, I need you to hold Will up so his legs are over the side of the table.” The doctor showed Pa how to stand, his arms under Will’s shoulders and his hands clasped across Will’s chest. “Nathan, kneel on the floor and hold Wills bad leg up so it is level from the thigh to the knee.”
Wills leg had swollen to twice its usual size. But after a moment’s hesitation Nathan knelt in the sand on the floor and did as directed.
“Mrs. Ames, keep the linens available, and bring what is needed as I tell you.”
Ma’s face was as pale as thin milk.
“Cassie, you said you have been caring for Will.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Can you stand the sight of blood?”
Cassie’s answer was steady. “Yes. I can.”
“Good. Then, take this sponge.” He handed her a dry, red-tinged sea sponge from his medical box. “When I say so, clean Wills wound and soak up as much blood as you can, squeeze it out on the sand quickly, and then return the sponge for more. I need to see the wound clearly as I cut and stitch.”
Cassie focused her eyes on the sponge and on her brother’s leg. “I can do that.”
Dr. Theobold picked up a large knife. “May God bless us and bless Will this day. May we have the skill and strength to do what we can to help this boy, and may God give him the strength to survive and to live in His service. Amen.”
It all happened as quickly as possible. Dr. Theobold cut the flesh around the thigh bone, and then as Pa struggled to hold Will’s jerking body Ma handed the doctor the larger saw, and he cut the bone. The sharp grating sound of the saw cutting the bone filled the kitchen. As two thirds of Will’s leg fell onto the kitchen floor, Nathan vomited. But he did not get in the doctor’s way.
Cassie could not look at the leg on the floor. She concentrated on mopping up the blood as the doctor had directed, while he pulled the flesh down over the exposed thighbone, cauterized it with the hot poker, and stitched the flesh together. He then painted the hot tar over the wound and, after it had cooled and dried, covered it with the clean dressings.
Will had not moved since after the first knife finished.
Pa and Dr. Theobold carried him back into the chamber that had become his, and the doctor showed Cassie and Ma how to pull another dressing over the stump of his leg and pin this outside dressing to the bedding. “What is left of the leg will shake, and perhaps jerk, with the pain. The binding is to help keep the boy steady on the bed.”
While Cassie and Ma arranged the bedding, Pa removed the severed leg and Alice silently scrubbed the kitchen floor. Despite the sand, which was now soaked with blood and vomit, blood had stained the wide pine boards too deeply to be erased.
As Will slept restlessly, the doctor joined the family for the supper of beef stew Alice had made earlier.
At first nothing was said. Even little Ethan was silent. Finally Cassie asked, “Was your surgery a success, Doctor?”
“The surgery was successful, Cassie. He has a good chance to live. But he needs much care. I will leave you a solution made from the young branches of the white willow tree. My father was a doctor in Germany before he came to this country, and he brought seedlings of the tree with him. Try to give Will a spoonful every hour. The solution should help his fever break. Do you have any pussy willows nearby?”
Surprised, Nathan answered, “Some grow on the edge of the woods in back of the east pasture.”
“Good. Tomorrow cut some of the branches, remove the bark, and put it in water, and then boil the solution down some. Use it to bathe Will’s stump once a day. It should help reduce the inflammation. Keep him quiet. Make sure he drinks and eats what he can.” Dr. Theobold hesitated. “Many patients feel pain from a limb that is gone. Do not think the boy is crazed if he complains his severed leg still gives him pain. The pain will end in time.”
In the next room Will moaned. He was the only one who did not know this day had changed his life.
CHAPTER 6
September 10
Alice has returned to Wiscasset, and I am back by Will’s bedside. He sleeps fitfully, but the willow tea helps; his body is not as hot as it was. Ma assists me in changing the dressing, but Will’s care appears to be mine. I cannot concentrate on mending Ethan’s shirt, which I should be doing. I look at Will and at the space where his leg used to be. I wonder whether his mind has changed, as his body has. I wonder if he will spend the rest of his life on this pallet. I wonder if I will have to spend the rest of mine sitting next to him. I wonder if he really shall live, as Dr. Theobold hoped.
Will opened his eyes. Cassie was next to him, stitching a garment of some sort. He blinked. His throat was parched.
“Water.”
Cassie started. “Will! You’re awake!” In a moment she was back with a porringer of water and a pewter spoon.
Will started to sit up but then dropped back and let Cassie spoon the cool water between his dry lips. He swallowed several spoonfuls. The room was dim. “Is it day?”
“It is midday. Friday.”
“I’ve been sleeping.”
“You have been feverish.” Cassie hesitated. “Alice came, with a doctor from Wiscasset. You are better now.”
“I’ve been no use to Pa. I must get up.”
“Not yet, Will. You need to rest more. You need to heal.”
“My leg still hurts. Every time I move my toes, my whole body hurts.”
Cassie didn’t reply.
Will lay quietly for a while. Then, suddenly, he started to sit up. “Cassie, I need to go to the privy.”
Cassie turned. “You are not strong enough to get to the privy. I have a chamber pot.” She reached over to the covered pot she had kept in the corner of the room for her own use so she would not have to leave him.
“I don’t need that.” Suddenly Will looked at the lines of his body under the blankets. “Cassie. My leg. It’s …” He shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t see my leg.”
“Your leg was swollen and blackened. It would have killed you.” She looked into Wills blue eyes and said it out straight. “The doctor had to cut it off. So you would live.”
Cassie stood holding the chamber pot. Will looked down again at his body.
“NO!!!!!” His scream filled the room, echoing all the pain of the past days. “NO!!!” He tried again to get up. Cassie moved to help him, but his arm struck out, knocking the chamber pot from her hands. As it hit the floor, it shattered, its contents and pieces of china flying. “NO!”
Cassie stood silently. Her eyes filled with tears.<
br />
Will collapsed back. “Why couldn’t I have just died?”
Sunshine appeared at the doorway. She walked delicately to the mess on the floor and sniffed, then jumped up on the bed, turning herself around and settling where Will’s leg should have been.
Will turned his face toward the wall and sobbed.
CHAPTER 7
October 17
Dr. Theobold came again. He says Will’s leg is healing well and soon he should be strong enough to use a crutch. The stump of his leg is still swollen, but less so. The doctor showed me how to tighten the dressings so the bleeding doesn’t start again. Will helps now with the dressing, although I believe I am still more used to seeing his leg—or what used to be his leg—than he is. He sleeps long hours. There is little for him to do. I read aloud when he wishes it and do my chores in his room when I can to keep him company. Some days I feel I am as much a prisoner in this room as is Will. Mattie and Tempe stopped to visit for a few minutes on their way home from the schoolhouse yesterday. I do not miss lessons, but I do miss their company. They were full of news about an apple bee to be held at Tempe’s home next Saturday to celebrate the harvest and prepare apples for drying. Martha Bailey is sure to hope her apple peel takes the shape of an N when she throws it over her shoulder, since clearly she has set her hopes on marrying Nathan. Ma and Pa plan on going to the bee, as well as Nathan and Simon. I will stay with Will and Ethan. I have promised to stay with Will so long as he needs me, and Ethan is no trouble. Perhaps it is my fate to be without company, as Will’s fate is to be a cripple. He says little. Each day I wake hoping he will smile. As yet he has not. Some days I do not either.
“Will, wake up and get yourself together. You have guests!” Ma walked in briskly, bringing with her the smell of autumn leaves and the apple cider she had been making the day before. Will turned over, and Ma handed him a clean shirt. “Put this on. Your friends Jamie and Sam were at services and have come to visit you.”
