I’m sorry, she said. This is awful.
I could feel the slump of her shoulders. Thanks.
What can I do?
Just be here for me?
Always.
My eyes stung. Can we talk later? I just…can’t right now. Give me a little time. Okay?
Love you, Fleur. She ended our mindspeak as my words echoed hers.
And there I went, tears trickling down my face again. I swiped them away, but they had a mind of their own and kept falling.
The next ping came from an unknown name. The healer, hoping to set up my appointment for my upcoming hand amputation?
I ignored that call, too.
Life wanted to pile one burden after another on top of me. Soon, my body would droop from the weight, making it a challenge to walk.
As if Alex knew it was time to add his dragonfly opinion to the conversation, he burst into view.
Arms flailing, I skidded to a halt before I ran into him. While I wanted to pass him and keep going, I couldn’t. Because sometimes, Alex delivered valuable nuggets along with his zany comments.
His tiny golden wings fluttered, making him hover by my face so close, I had to cross my eyes to see him.
“There you are,” he squeaked.
I held up my good hand. “Hi, Alex.”
“Running from your problems, I see,” he said.
Talk about sounding judgy. “You don’t understand,” I growled. Wiping my eyes, I faced him, daring him to call me out for crying. “And I’m not running.”
“Heart rate’s up. Breathing is, too.”
I sniffed. “What are you, a heart doctor?”
His wings drooped. “No need to be like that.”
The ache in my chest grew. If it got much bigger, my ribcage would explode.
“I’m your dragonfly friend,” he said. “Almost a real dragon.”
This tiny bugger would never be a real dragon.
“Dragons are powerful. Dragonflies?” His little lips quirked up. “Not so much.”
I flopped against the doorway between this hallway and the one beyond with our classrooms. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. It’s just…”
“Beware of things said.”
“You’re right. I need to think before I say anything.” My voice cracked. “I’ll be more careful.”
He buzzed up toward the ceiling, executed a back flip, and then flew back down to float in front of me, his golden wings awhirl. “That, too.”
“And never underestimate yourself. Dragons may be more powerful, but dragonflies are special.”
“We are!” He zipped up into the sky then dove back down to hover in front of me. “Watch and see.”
“Since you’re here, how about a little help?” I rubbed my hot, gummy eyelids.
“Always willing to help.”
That was debatable. But I had to ask. I couldn’t handle this alone. “Is there another way out of this?” I held up my hand.
“Serum’s nasty stuff, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” I croaked out.
“There are a few possibilities you can consider.”
“How about sharing them? Or, if you want, you can outright tell me what to do.”
“You know I can’t do that. I’m here to guide, to be a friend, to—”
“To tease but never reveal a thing.”
I swore his tiny lips curled into a smile. “You guessed!”
“Hardly a guess. You’ve been vague since the moment I met you. Always making odd statements but never offering solid advice.”
“There isn’t much else I can do, I suppose.” True. Like everything magical around here, he operated within undefined boundaries. His wings drooped. “But I can listen. And that’s a power unlike any other.”
“You’re right. I’m glad you’re my friend.”
“Always!” He buzzed over to the window and floated near the glass, creating tiny opaque circles when he exhaled. “As for your hand, I can offer you a hint.”
“Really?” Hope blooming inside me, I bumped off the wall and joined him at the window, sitting on the low bench beneath. Ice crystals encrusted the evergreens peppering the front lawn, making them glisten like green sea glass in the sunlight. A few kids walked along the paths winding through the now-dead gardens, braving the cold.
Winter. It had settled into the Academy as surely as it had encased my heart.
“Each twist of life’s concealer reveals things that could be and things that aren’t,” he said softly, his mood sounding as somber as mine.
Life’s concealer, huh? When I moved into the Academy, Ester, the sketar witch who’d been my guardian after Mom dumped me here, had given me a concealer. Crafted by Katya, the silver pendant had been set with a pale blue stone. One twist and my hair color changed. Ester had acted peeved when I dyed my hair blue but maybe she hadn’t been as irritated as I’d believed. Now I could choose my hair color to match my mood.
Today, if I was going by my feelings, my hair should be dark gray, gloomy as a storm at sea.
“I don’t understand,” I said. “Can you tell me more?”
“No. I’m sorry.” For the first time, he didn’t come out joking. His tail dipped down, and his wings’ pace slowed to sluggish. He sounded sad, as if the world had dumped on him as much as it had at me.
As if we’d entered the grimmest phase of our lives.
Nothing wonderful lasted forever. Too often, it was snatched away. I could either guard my heart from loss or dive in and enjoy the good times while they lasted.
“I wish I could hug, you, Alex,” I said.
He flew in close and landed on my good hand, his tiny feet scratchy and tickly. “I’d hug you back.”
Where would I be without him? Stumbling around, that was where.
And I’d feel lost more often than I did already.
A pop and Alex had turned into the pendant hanging on the chain around my neck.
Tears prickled behind my eyelids again, and I turned to stare through the glass. As the world blurred, I braced my forehead against the cold surface and held back my sob.
Enough.
Rising, I entered the next hall and passed our classrooms. I exited through the western door and stumbled out onto the bridge spanning the moat. The cold air sucked the wind from my lungs. I tugged on my hat and one mitten. My coat buttoned up to my throat, I leaned against the rail and stared down at the water.
Donovan and I had stood here what felt like a lifetime ago. This was where we’d first flirted. Where he’d confessed his brother was king but he didn’t want to inherit the throne.
Where we’d often shared our dreams…
I’d come to believe we might fulfill those dreams together.
My legs giving way, I dropped to the frigid bridge and curled into a ball. The stone sucked my heat from me as I covered my face with my hands.
Pieces of my confidence shattered around me. I couldn’t do it, couldn’t keep trying. This was shredding through my insides, and I didn’t know how to stitch myself back together. My sobs shook my shoulders, and my belly quivered. Hot tears plopped on my lap, soaking into my pants, leaving dark circles behind.
I let it all out. There wasn’t much else I could do but give into my pain. And no one was watching. It wouldn’t hurt to drop my guard for a few moments, would it?
My tears eventually gave way to sniffles and, after wiping my face, I flopped onto my butt and leaned against the rail, tipping my head back. Fluffy, uncaring clouds drifted across the crisp blue sky. Late-season geese flew in a V overhead, honking, and, a short distance away, a chipmunk chittered as if someone was stealing his peace.
Scraping sounds from my left made me still. My heart thumped once, hard, and then fluttered.
A sullen voice rose into the air nearby. “What are you sniveling about?” Legs splayed out in front of her on the ground just beyond the bridge, Alys peered around the corner.
“Go away,” I said.
She huf
fed. “I’d like to, but it seems I’m stuck here.”
“I didn’t mean leave the Academy, though that’s an awesome idea. I meant I don’t want to talk to you.” Didn’t want to talk to anyone. I needed to think, decide what I was going to do.
“And I have no interest in talking to you,” she said.
I growled. “Yet, here you are. Talking to me.”
Rising, she stomped up onto the bridge. She stood over me, conveniently blocking the sun. “Okay. You wanted to hear it? I’ll tell you, then. I’m sorry.”
I squinted up at her. “What?”
She rolled her eyes. “You heard me. I’m not saying it again.”
“Sure, murder two students and try to kill me and Jenny, and then brush it off with a reluctant apology.” Though, that wasn’t completely true. She didn’t remember.
But my anger with my situation was being transferred to her—a convenient scapegoat.
“What else do you want?” she fumed. “My blood?”
“How about a hand?”
Her fist smacked on her hip. “What the fae are you talking about?”
“My hand’s rotting off. If I don’t let the healers remove it, I’ll die. Thought you might—” I laughed but it held no humor. “—lend me a hand.”
“Overly dramatic aren’t you?” Her gaze drifted to my bandaged limb lying on my thigh.
It burned. The tips of my fingers had gone dusky. I’d left my hand exposed when my mitten wouldn’t fit over it.
“You just want attention. What did you do, cut it?” Her voice shouted pure sarcasm. “Got a boo-boo under those thick bandages?”
One corner of my mouth unwillingly curled up. “There you are.”
“Are you blind? I’m standing right in front of you.”
“Thought you’d lost your mean girl spunk. If nothing else, I can count on you to be consistent.” I’d probably faint if she ever acted nice.
“No one’s going to cut your hand off. We’ve got healers. They’ll fix it and you’ll go on your way. Like always. Life will be perfect for you tomorrow, next week, and all through the summer.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You’ve got it so good and you don’t even see it, do you?” She tapped one index finger as if counting. “You’re with the boy I wanted.”
Wanted? Not want? Had something changed?
And I wasn’t with him any longer, but I wouldn’t tell Alys. She’d find out soon enough on her own.
She tapped a second finger. “You’re so close to the Headmistress, she lets you call her by her first name.”
Had Alys spit out “Justine” and been rebuffed?
“You bonded with the best stone during Stone Selection.”
My fingers drifted across the hilt of my blade. Today, I wore it in a sheath strapped to my waist.
“And if that isn’t enough,” she grumbled. “You’re a damn outling, yet half our class would give up their Elite status if only they could be you.”
“Where are you going with all this, Alys? Because, really, I’m too tired to deal with it. Deal with you.”
“Why don’t you get off your ass and do something about your hand if it’s bothering you so much? That’s what the Fleur I know and hate so well would do. Not the whiny, blubbering one hiding out in the cold.” She hauled her hat down further on her head, making her blonde curls jut out like demented corkscrews. “If you didn’t like the first opinion, go to a different healer.”
“You familiar with Seeker Serum?” I winced the moment the words left my mouth. Of course she was. They’d used it on her to ferret out her secrets. I shouldn’t feel bad about being mean to the campus mean girl, but there it was.
Her eyes shimmered, and her body wavered, making me feel even shittier. Snapping out, her hand clutched the rail. “No need to be mean.”
I released a pent-up sigh. “I wasn’t trying to be nasty.” Mostly. It was a challenge being kind to Alys. “Have a seat.”
She reeled back a step. “What?”
“I don’t bite.” I patted the smooth stone beside me. “Sit.”
As if she expected me to gnaw off her head, she dropped down but about three feet away, facing me. “Why?”
“Why not? Maybe my looming death is making me friendly. Opening me to the chance of a meaningful conversation with you.”
“Those rumors about skin contact with Serum… You’re not really dying.” She tilted her head. “Are you?”
“Someone bespelled a lardlet and when I grabbed it, it released refined Seeker’s Serum.”
She shuddered. “So, it does burn through flesh?”
I held up my wounded hand. “Here’s your proof.”
“You’re right, then. They’ll cut it off.” She rubbed the pinky on her left hand that Tria had severed. The healers must’ve reattached it.
“Thanks for the input,” I growled. There was no reattaching my hand once they cut it off. “I’m not letting them.”
“You’re willing to die?” She snorted. “After I just told you all you have to live for that didn’t include a hand? I never saw you as the kind who’d give up this easy.”
“I have a week before it’ll be too late,” I said dryly. “And I haven’t exactly given up yet.”
“What will you do? A week isn’t long enough to find a nonexistent cure.”
“I’m thinking about it.”
“I guess, if anyone can find a way out of this, you will.”
My eyebrows rose, brushing my bangs. “A compliment? From you?”
“Perhaps.” A soft smile teased her lips. “A reluctant one.”
“Thanks. I guess.”
She scooted over beside me and turning to lean against the rail, kicked out her boots. Our breaths puffed around us, smoky white mini-clouds that shot up to the sky within seconds. “How are you going to get yourself out of this dilemma?”
“I’ve got a plan.” A few plans, actually. They all centered around Katya. But what could Katya do? What would she do was more like it. Nothing she’d offer would come without a steep price. And despite my never-ending credit, I had a feeling I wouldn’t be able to afford what she asked.
We sat in silence, our boots flicking back and forth as if controlled by a synchronized tune neither of us could hear.
“I am sorry,” she finally said.
“Despite snapping, I did hear you a few minutes ago.”
“You know what I mean.” Her fingertips traced the tears drifting down her cheek. “But, yeah. I hate that it happened. Hate that I…killed Drea and Sarah. That I almost killed you and Jenny.”
What could I say? I’d be pissed off with myself if I thought I’d committed murder, too.
“More than anything,” she said with a crack in her voice. “I hate myself.”
Hugs and Alys would never be a part of the same equation.
“For what it’s worth,” I said. It was all about perspective. “I’m not angry with you any longer.”
“I would be.”
“You’d rip my head off.”
She huffed through her tears. “And likely your hand, too.”
“Then I wouldn’t need to let the healers do it.” My lips twisted. “Here’s the thing. We’re both victims of what sounds like the same Bespeller. Despite the Headmistress encasing the Academy with wards, they probably aren’t going to stop.”
They’d keep killing outlings.
Me.
“I doubt they’ve finished whatever they set out to do,” she said.
I held up my hand. “They bespelled the beatleycarne and this is the result.”
“Then someone—not me, though the idea has merit—” Her smile brightened her face but I could tell she was teasing. Teasing and Alys had never been a part of the same equation, either, yet here we were. “—I’d say someone wants to hurt you. Maybe even kill you.”
“Something else to add to my list. Keeping the Bespeller from ending my life.”
“I guess you don’t have it quite
so great after all. But I see where you’re going with this. The Bespeller is using us both.” She blinked as horror dawned on her face. “It’s something we share.”
“Don’t like sharing anything with me, do you?”
Her lips pursed. “Not really.”
“It’s okay. I feel the same.”
Her laughter spurted out. “If nothing else, I’m predictable.”
“I like that about you.” By the fae, I was softening to this girl. Who would’ve thought I’d be sitting around chatting with Alys? I couldn’t let my protective wall crack. If she sensed my weakness, she’d eat me alive. “We need to stop the Bespeller before he or she…”
“Turns me into something new that will kill you on my second try?”
I winced. “Something like that.”
“The Headmistress said Seekers are here already, investigating. Providing protection.”
Because an Elite wizard—Alys—was involved, they’d be all over this. As for me, I’d hear from Roark, the centaur Seeker, soon. He’d have to get creative if he hoped to pin this on me.
“We’ll find whoever it is,” I said fiercely. I’d succeed in this, if nothing else. “And when we find them, we’ll make them pay.”
“We?” she said, leaning away to peer at me.
“I don’t actually mean us working together.”
She sighed. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I might be okay with us working together if it brings down the Bespeller.” One of her thin eyebrows lifted. “When we figure out who it is, we can tackle them.”
“Sure. I’ll stab them with my knife and you’ll…” Not much she could do with her diplomacy skapti.
“I’ll choke them with nightlace.” Dark, gritty anger broke through her words. “Shift and show them what they did to Drea and Sarah.”
“I’ll stand guard while you do it.”
She blinked fast and turned her head toward the forest, telling me she didn’t want me seeing her cry. Couldn’t blame her; I also hated showing my vulnerabilities, especially to a sworn enemy.
But was she my sworn enemy any longer?
Climbing to her feet, she tipped her head back to take in the sky while she regained control. When she turned to face me, her mask was firmly back in place. The only hint of weakness glistened in her eyes. “I’ve got to get to class.”
Crystal Wing Academy- The Complete Series Page 52
