by Nicole James
He gives a deep chuckle. “Son, you’ve already crossed that line, and don’t deny it.”
“Does Rock know?”
“Probably suspects.”
I run a hand down my face.
“You break her heart, you might not want to show your face around here again. You walk through that door again, he might have your hide.”
I nod, because I would understand that, and I wouldn’t blame him, either. I gulp the coffee down and stand, pausing to pat Darko on the shoulder. “Thanks for the advice, old man.”
“Ride safe, brother.”
***
Lola—
I yawn, stretch, and roll over, opening my eyes, a smile on my face. I find the bed is empty, and I bolt upright. Before I can even call out for Memphis, my gaze falls on his pendant spread out on his pillow.
It’s his sign to me that he’s left. But is it more? Perhaps it’s his gratitude for our time together, perhaps a sign of his love, or perhaps a sign that he’ll be back. Or maybe it’s to tell me that he won’t ever return.
I pick it up and hold it in my hand. I don’t know if I want to clutch it to my heart or throw it at the wall. The sobs overtake me, shaking my shoulders, and I hold the necklace close, knowing I’ll wear it against my heart every day until I see him again. And if I don’t ever see him, maybe I’ll wear it for the rest of my life.
A melody plays in my head of an old tune about a sailor that never stays long because his life, his love, his lady, is the sea.
That’s Memphis, only his love isn’t the sea, it’s the open road.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Lola—
It’s been weeks since Memphis left. I should be over him by now. My every waking hour should no longer be consumed by thoughts of him. But that’s not the case; I think of him all the time. I press my face to the backseat passenger window watching the town of Durango flash past.
“Earth to Lola.”
My eyes shift to Josie in the drivers seat.
“What’s up with you today?”
“Today? She’s been like this since New Orleans,” Katie adds.
“Leave her alone, you two. Maybe she’s worried about her brother,” Amy defends me from the seat next to me. She reaches over to squeeze my hand.
“That’s not it,” I admit. “But, yes, I am worried about him.”
“So, what gives?” Josie asks, taking her eyes from the road to meet mine in the rearview mirror.
I shrug.
Her eyes get big. “This is about a guy. I’d know that look anywhere. Wait, is this about that Nomad your father sent to get you?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Katie huffs.
“Is it?” Amy asks.
“Everybody just quit bothering me.” I fold my arms.
“Fine.” Katie holds her hands up. “God forbid we care.”
I roll my eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Guys, what are we going to do tonight, just drive around? I thought we were going to have some fun?” Amy asks.
“We could go to a movie,” Katie suggests.
“We’ve seen them all,” I reply, halfheartedly.
Josie meets my eyes in the rearview. “I know something we haven’t done before.”
“What’s that?” Amy asks.
“You’ll see,” Josie replies.
Fifteen minutes later, she pulls the car in a gravel lot next to a house on the edge of town.
I rouse from my memories of Memphis, to look up at the old wooden sign.
“Ms. Mirvana’s? What is this place?” I ask. Everyone is already climbing out of the car, laughing. Katie is jumping up and down.
“I’ve always wanted to come here!” Amy shouts.
I climb out, and spot some writing on the glass window. “Psychic? You’re kidding me, right?”
“It’ll be fun. Come on,” Josie loops her arm in mine, dragging me forward.
Another sign says its twenty-five dollars for a fifteen minutes reading.
“Twenty-five bucks? I’ll wait in the car,” I pull back.
“I’ve got you covered. Come on.” Josie tugs me along.
We walk in, finding ourselves in a tiny entry with two wing-backed chairs and a counter. The smell of incense hits me like a brick wall. I make a fake choking noise, and Josie elbows me in the ribs. “Oww.”
“Hush. Here she comes.”
A normal looking woman comes out from a back room, and smiles. “Hello, ladies. How may I help you tonight?”
I swear her gaze lingers on me. She’s pretty, somewhere in her mid forties, I’d guess. She has long dark curly hair, the kind that rides the border between ringlets and frizz. She’s rail thin, with a white lace top and a big crystal pendant.
“My friend, Lola, would like a reading,” Josie says, shoving me forward.
I give her a death glare, then turn to face the woman. “Hi.”
“Well, hello, Lola. Of course.”
Josie digs out the cash, passing it over, and Ms. Mirvana motions us to what looks like her dining room table.
“Please sit.”
We all gather around, filling the seats.
Mirvana smiles at me. “You have such beautiful hair.”
“Thank you.” I’m not sure how this works or what I’m supposed to do, so I just lace my fingers to stop my nervous energy.
She reaches over and lays a hand on my clasped ones. “You have a good energy around you and a very beautiful aura.”
“I do?”
She nods, her smile radiant. There’s something peaceful about her, and I find myself thinking she must be a good person. I hope this isn’t a con. I don’t want to believe that anyone with such a beautiful smile could be conning me.
She touches her hand to her crystal necklace. “I knew you were coming tonight.”
I frown. “You did?”
“Your mother told me. She’s been here for hours.”
I rear back, looking over at my friends to see if this is some sick joke they’re all in on, but their eyes are huge with shock. I look back at Mirvana. “Is this a joke?”
She shakes her head, and gives me that serene smile again. “Your mother has passed, hasn’t she?”
“Yes,” Amy blurts out, and I pin her with a shut-the-hell-up look.
“She’s so sorry she had to leave you, and she knows how sad you’ve been. She wants you to know how proud she is of you.”
“Proud?” I whisper.
Mirvana nods, her eyes sparkling. “She says you’ve been feeling lost.” Mirvana reaches over, and touches the compass shaped pendant that hangs around my neck. “The man that gave you this, she says she sent him to you.”
I feel my eyes fill, but shake my head. “I don’t believe in this stuff.” I cut my eyes to my friends. “You set this up, didn’t you? You told her all this stuff.”
They all shake their heads in denial.
Mirvana covers my hand again. “It’s okay if you don’t believe. I just want you to know that your mother is watching over you. Things won’t always be easy. There will be struggles and hard times, but she wants you to know its all going to work out.”
I huff out a laugh, deciding to play along. “And am I going to be rich some day?”
She shakes her head. “That I can’t say.”
“What about the rest of my family?”
She’s quiet a moment, closing her eyes, almost as if she’s listening. “Your father and brother will heal. She knows you worry about them, although you pretend not to care sometimes. That’s okay. It’s not for you to fix them. Their paths are set.”
“You’re freaking me out.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just passing her messages to you.”
“What else?” I can’t help asking.
“Something about a twin or twins.”
Amy covers her mouth, squealing in happiness. “You’re going to have twins!”
But I know that’s not it. Memphis is a twin.
Mirvana looks
in my eyes, and it feels like she can read my mind. “You understand what that means, don’t you?”
I nod.
“She says she was with you at the carnival. She even rode the Ferris wheel with you, but she doesn’t care for Fun Houses, so she didn’t go in.” Mirvana giggles. “Your mother is a hoot. She says you should have played one of the arcade games, she would have made sure you won.”
“You are really freaking me out, now.” I know the girls didn’t tell her any of that, because I didn’t tell them about it; not about the rides, not even that we went to a carnival.
“What’s she talking about, Lola?” Katie asks.
“Hush,” Josie cuts her off.
“She says if you need a sign that she’s with you, look around you, the signs are everywhere.”
I stare at her but she leans back.
“I hope this brought you peace, and I wish you well.”
We stand and shuffle out. I barely remember walking to the car. No one says a word until Josie pulls out onto the highway, then they’re all talking at once. It’s a blur what they say, and I can only stare out the window at the passing headlights zooming past.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Memphis—
I hunch at the end of the bar, and grunt for a refill. The bartender obliges, refilling my glass with Tequila, and staring at me like he’s trying to figure out why I’m in his upscale bar. He’s tried once already to pull me into conversation, but I met his questions with a steely stare and silence.
I suppose my Royal Bastards cut broadcasts how badly I don’t belong in a place like this, but it was the first bar I saw heading back through Phoenix.
I ignore the people stepping in next to me to order, and I blow off every makeup-caked cougar who tries to hit on me, even the attractive, rich ones with their cloying perfume, dying for a walk on the wild side, and thinking I can give it to them. I’m in no mood for their come-ons. My only mission in being here is to dull the pain I carry as quickly as possible.
I toss back my shot; the burn of the hard liquor in my throat makes me hiss as I slam the shot glass down on the counter.
I shove to my feet, peeling off a couple of twenties and tossing them down, then I push out the door into the cool night air. My head spins, so I lean my back against the brick wall, breathing in deeply, knowing I need to get a room at the inn next door, rather than ride my bike in this condition.
A white corvette pulls in, and parks right in front of the entrance, its headlights flashing across me. I squint at it bleary-eyed. It’s new and probably costs close to six figures. I half expect some old, rich dude to climb out, but am surprised when an attractive woman emerges. She gives me the once over as she moves toward the door, then stops and gives me a sly grin.
“You holding up the wall, sweetheart?”
“Tryin’ my best, darlin’,” I reply.
She strolls closer, and looks up in my face. “You need some company?”
Her perfume is exotic and enticing, but her eyes are the wrong color, and so is her perfectly styled hair. It’s long blonde locks and blue eyes I’m missing. While she’s a temptress, I have no desire for her. “Not tonight, angel.”
She tilts her head. “You sure?”
I nod. “Positive.”
“You change your mind, I’ll be inside.”
I nod, and watch her go.
Another time I might’ve taken her up on her offer, had a drink with her or more likely gotten a room for the two of us. But tonight I’m missing Lola something fierce, and no other woman can make that go away.
I light a cigarette, and exhale the smoke toward the sky, watching a shooting star scratch the dark heavens like the sparks of a match being dragged across it. It’s there and gone so quickly I blink, not sure if I imagined it.
Out of habit, I reach for the compass pendant finding it gone, and then remember I gave it to Lola. I wonder if she’s wearing it. I slip my hand in my pocket and close it around my phone, but think better of it. I’m too drunk for that kind of conversation, and besides, I’ve waited too long to call her.
I wonder if she’s already moved on to someone else. I could call Rock, but even drunk, I know that would be a mistake. The moment I ask about her, he’d be all over me.
I stare at my bike, and feel aimless for the first time in years. This is the life I said I wanted, the life that suits me, the life I’ve been satisfied with, all until some long-legged blonde walked into my life, and blew everything I thought I knew to hell.
I push off the wall and climb on my bike, rolling it slowly over to the Stardust Inn to get a room alone, and sleep it off, once again hoping the pain will subside tomorrow, but knowing deep inside that nothing is going to cure what’s ailing me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Trez—
Biloxi, MS
I pull out of the casino parking lot, and head east toward my motel. Another night wasted, and I’m nowhere closer to winning the amount I need. I thought Biloxi would be a good place to lay low while I figure out my next move. I guess I just need to come to terms with the fact that I suck at gambling. I’ve had no luck at any of the games.
Spotting the funky shark-head souvenir place on the beach, I realize I’m about to miss my turn, so I jump over to the left lane, and dart across oncoming traffic into the motel parking lot as car horns blare.
I park, and rub my leg and hip. I know the difference between the pain I feel from my injury and the added muscle and bone pain that never fails to set in when I’ve gone too long without a fix. I thump my thumb on the steering wheel in a rapid tapping, knowing the restlessness overtaking me is another sign. If I don’t find someone who can hook me up with more painkillers soon, the cold flashes and vomiting will begin.
In the weeks since I saw Lola, I’ve tried three times to hole up in the room and kick this addiction. I’m so ashamed she saw me this way. I guess I didn’t realize how bad I’d gotten until I saw the expression on her face. The memory of the way her friend Amy looked at me fills me with so much self-loathing that I feel like I’m drowning in it. She used to have a thing for me, something I took for granted. Now I’m sure she’d rather flunk out of college than have anything to do with me.
I know I have to get ahold of my addiction, but as badly as I want to kick it, it invades every fiber of me like seeping black tar.
The guilt and depression I’ve suffered with since my bike wreck consume me, until now I’ve completely spiraled out of control, giving up and giving in to the cruel, demanding masters that opioids have become to me.
Lortabs, Norco, OxyContin, Percocet, Vicodin, Fentanyl, anything I can get my hands on; I’ve taken them all.
They don’t fix anything, not for long anyway. I know that.
They simply mask the pain I feel physically and emotionally. They sure as hell don’t “cure” anything. But yet I continuously try to dull the pain, taking higher and higher doses—and now I cannot make it through the day without them.
I scrub at my face with both hands. “Stop fucking making excuses, Trez.”
I yank the handle and put a shoulder to the door, shoving it open. I grab the cola I got at the fast food place, and climb out to trudge toward my room.
I’m lost in my thoughts, eyes on the ground when a body slams into me, then another. Suddenly I’m wedged between two body-builders who are hustling me toward a big black limousine. I look up, and realize its Mason Lockwood’s goons.
I try to struggle, but they’ve got me out-muscled. One shoves my head down to clear the opening, and I’m thrust inside the car.
Wedged between them, with one on either side, I look over to see Lockwood on the seat facing me, looking equal measures bored and pissed.
The car squeals away, some unseen driver behind a divider speeds back out onto the boulevard, heading toward the casinos.
Lockwood studies me. “Seems you have a propensity for dive motels.”
My lip curls up. “I like the little mints they put on the thous
and thread-count sheets.”
“You’re a real smart-ass, aren’t you? I hate sarcastic bastards like you.”
I shrug. “Then I guess you can drop me here.”
He lifts his chin to the goon on my left, and the guy slams some kind of baton into my bad knee. Excruciating pain jolts up my leg to my bad hip.
I growl through my teeth, “You son-of-a-bitch.”
“Why are you here?” Lockwood asks.
“They had a weekly special, and right now I can’t afford anything else.”
“I don’t give a damn about your choice of vermin-infested lodging. Why are you here in Biloxi?”
“The truth?”
“If you know what’s good for you.”
“I was laying low.”
“From me?”
“From you, the cops, everyone.”
“Do you have the rest of my money?”
I grind my teeth, knowing what’s coming. “I gave you the twenty grand.”
“And I told you there was interest on it. You still owe me another ten.”
“Jesus Christ, Mason, that’s fifty percent interest. I apologized for stealing the damn statue. Isn’t that enough?”
“Not by a long shot.”
“I don’t have ten grand.”
He lifts his chin to the goon, and I’m treated to another hit of the baton.
“Fuck,” I hiss between clenched teeth. “Okay, okay, I’ll get it I just need more time.”
“You’ve got four days.
“Four days? It’ll take more than four days. Please.”
Mason Lockwood gives me an evil smile. “Unfortunately for you, I know you have an Achilles heel. The pretty blonde I met at your last crappy accommodations—she’s your sister, isn’t she?”
I shake my head. “Nah. That chick? I hardly know her.”
“Don’t lie to me, Rockingham. It pisses me off.”
The goon on my right shoves his shoulder into me. “Boss already saw her ID, moron.”
My eyes slide shut. Fuck.
“You care about your sister, don’t you?”
