by Marie Scully
After what feel like hours, Flame takes a step forward and then another. Before long he takes Sarah’s commands, each needing to trust the other. Tears form behind my eyes; quickly I banish them. Ben, Jimmy, and I watch them for a while before returning to the house. They both had schoolwork and I needed to work on convincing myself not to go out with Liam.
Chapter Thirteen
Danny
Ben finds me in the barn cleaning the Friday after the party. “Hey,” he starts. “We have a fair coming to town today and Jimmy has been on me to take him. Mom and Dad offered, but he’s too ‘cool’ to go with them. I’m sure we’ll get dumped as soon as he sees his friends. I’m just the unpaid driver. Anyways I talked Megan into going. You want to come? It should be fun. If nothing else, there’ll be funnel cake.”
Of course Ben is already planning his meal. “Just you, Megan and Jimmy?” I ask, wanting to confirm that Liam won’t be in attendance. I still haven’t given him an answer to his date question and would rather not have to face him. He unnerves me, and I don’t like it.
“Yes.”
“Sure, why not. It sounds like fun. What time?”
“Leave here at six. Perfect. I’ll leave you to it then. Max wants my help with Gypsy—something about him having issues with the starting gate.”
“Going to play horse therapist?” I ask.
“Always. I’ll take that over people’s problems any day of the week.”
I nod. “Same.”
❖
The ride to the fair is filled with Ben and Jimmy planning the snacks they’re going to have. Jimmy has me convinced I need to try a fried Oreo. The fair had set up about fifteen miles away in a large open field. Ben parks on the grass, and even from a distance, I can see the Ferris wheel lights. Ben answers his phone with, “Hey. We’re here. Where are you? Okay yeah. We’ll head that way now.” Ben waves us in the direction we need to go while he listens to Megan on the other end. Adults and children wander around, some just arriving and hopping excitedly out of the cars while others are heading back home looking a little green from the food, rides, or a combination of the two.
I was so distracted watching everyone that I hardly heard Jimmy say, “Liam’s here too.”
Liam? Liam, whom I’d confirmed with Ben wasn’t coming?. Maybe not in so many words, but he knew my meaning. Ben turns around with a sheepish expression and mouths “sorry”. My glare doesn’t improve with his apology.
“Hey guys,” Megan says, brightly, “Ready to ride rides?” she asks, looking at Jimmy.
He nods excitedly. Megan looks back and says more to me than Ben, “I convinced Liam to come. He had nothing else going on, and he wanted to ride all the rides with Jimmy.”
At her words, Jimmy looks guilty. “Um, well, the thing is, I can ride some of the rides with you, but I’m meeting some other friends here,” he stammers out. Liam feigns hurt before letting Jimmy off the hook. “It’s all good. As long as you ride one ride with me. I’ll just have to convince Danny to ride with me,” he says, looking at me with a grin and a raised eyebrow. Jimmy looks at me with hope in his eyes as if my answer will save him from hurting Liam’s feelings.
“Yeah, no problem.”
Jimmy’s look of relief lets me know I gave the correct response. When he turns away I send Liam a look saying I won’t in the fact be going on any rides with him. Too little personal space. Liam gives me a cocky look in response, as if he thinks he can convince me otherwise. Ha, not a chance. I could push Megan and Ben into the tunnel of love for throwing me into this situation. Ben may not have known but he definitely had a feeling Megan would pull this. Liam strolls along with his hands in his front jeans’ pockets with all the confidence in the world. His blue shirt hugs his body and he looks attractive. I want to kick him. No one should look that good going to a fair.
Entering under the large lit-up welcome sign it doesn’t take long for Jimmy to find his friends and wave us off, leaving the four of us alone. The sweet smell of cotton candy drifts towards us; it’s sensory overload alongside the lights of the rides, in competition with one another for the next rider, and the ringing of games being won bouncing through the air.
“Oh, Ben, look! There’s not a huge line for the spinning cups—let’s go,” Megan rushes out with glee, tugging him into the entrance of the line. Turning around, she yells, “Come on, you two.”
Liam shrugs and moves to follow. I stay behind for a moment, weighing my options. If I do, they’ll read too much into it, but if I don’t, they’ll read more into it. Either way, they’ll get the wrong idea. I don’t dislike Liam. In fact, my pulse races when he’s around, and I’m intrigued by why that is. I’m also self-aware enough to know that I don’t need to find that answer. In fact it would be much better if I don’t.
If I do go with them, then it’s as if I’m condoning this set-up and that gives the vibe that I may change my mind.
My thoughts stop as Liam turns around with a little less confidence than usual and asks if I’m coming. Taking a step towards the entrance, I make my decision. It’s not his fault that I’m losing it.
Ben and Megan have climbed into the yellow cup, and Liam has moved to the teal. Others spilled behind me. Now was the moment to make my choice. Teal or ride by myself. I didn’t want to ride alone. It feels sad in a way. I had to laugh at the thought. I was used to being on my own and even enjoyed it most days, but the thought of riding the cups alone makes me sad. Liam sees me coming and moves over to the left. Once I’m sitting, he pulls the long silver bar across our laps.
“Just so you know, I didn’t know about Megan’s plan to set us up,” he says.
“You think it’s a set-up too.” I ask.
“Oh yeah. It’s Megan. Ben may not have known, but Megan is a plotter. She has her sights on us.”
“Thanks for the heads-up.”
“For the most part, she’s harmless but when she sees something that could be great in her mind, she goes after it.”
“Did she think you and Nicole were great?” Where did that come from?
Liam thankfully laughs. “No. Not even close. When she found out we were with each other, she wasn’t thrilled. She saw the train wreck before anyone even saw the tracks.”
A teen with the signs of a growing bead comes around to check that everyone’s metal bar is in place and no one’s going to fall out. Once he’s checked everyone with the joy of someone being sent to prison for life, he picks up the microphone, welcomes us to the ride, and starts the spinning motion. The motion starts off slow so it’s easy to stay in my spot, hanging on to the cool bar, but as the spinning increases and intensifies, my body shifts into Liam’s side.
Our thighs touch, and a zinging sensation moves through my body. Looking up at him, I start to apologize for invading his space, but his face has transformed to that of a child in a candy store. Happiness lights up his face as we spin. His smile is young—almost childlike. His happiness causes me to grin and laugh at how a silly thing can bring so much joy. Spinning faster with each turn Liam’s hand rests on my own. He’s still looking out and I realize that he probably doesn’t realize what he’s doing. I could slip my hand out likely without him noticing, but I’m enjoying the touch and decide to just enjoy the moment.
Slowly the ride gets slower and slower, and my body can inch away from Liam’s; however, our hands are still touching. He shakes his head to rid himself of the dizziness from the ride and glances down at our hands. He looks embarrassed. “Sorry. I hadn’t realized I’d done that,” he says as he removes his hand.
I shrug, trying to make it look like it’s no big deal. His face doesn’t look convinced, but then he grins and reins the moment with, “I hate to hold hands with people that haven’t agreed to go out with me. By the way, where are you in the decision-making process?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I state, business-like.
“Why? Give me one good reason.”
I open my mouth to respond but am saved by M
egan, grabbing me as she stumbles over, still dizzy.
“Hey, guys. That was fun. Little dizzy. Onto the next ride,” she says, dragging me with her.
The next ride appears to be a house of mirrors. Megan and Ben enter first. Liam holds me back. “I have an idea. Each ride we go on, we get to ask the other something. If by the end of the night you don’t want to go out with me, fine. I’ll stop bugging you. But give me a chance.”
I rack my brain for a reason not to do this, but I can’t find one. “Deal.”
Entering the large building, we find mirrors everywhere. Some make us look short, others taller, bigger, smaller, weirder—each one is different.
“I’ll start with an easy one. Favorite food?” he says as we stop to admire ourselves in front of a mirror that makes us look taller.
“That is an easy one. Don’t think I’ll let you off that easily. Now you can’t make fun of me for my answer but onion rings. If I was on death row, that would be my last meal. With ranch.”
He laughs. “Nothing wrong with a good onion ring. Your question.”
Out of the questions I could ask I choose, “Why did you want to be a jockey?”
❖
Liam
Danny’s question has me question why I thought this would be a good plan. Why do I care if she’ll go out with me? There are plenty of other options. Why the hell I’m trying so hard is beyond me. I could be a dick and just tell her to forget the game or just lie. But both leave an ashy taste in my mouth at the thought. The mirrors give me no place to hide. My emotions play out across all levels and sizes. But none of them lie. This was most certainly not one of my better ideas.
“My mom. She loved horses. The ranch is actually her family’s. When she met my dad, she made him sign a contract on their first date, saying that he understood that she wouldn’t be leaving the ranch, and he understood. He framed it for her on their wedding day. It used to hang in the office.” He had it taken done after she passed. “Anyways, from little on, she had me on a horse.”
While I speak, I try not to look at myself in the mirror, but I notice that’s where Danny is looking. “Let’s go find the mirror that makes us look the strongest.”
She nods, but I know she’s seen more than I wanted her to.
The next ride resembles a Viking ship that swings from side to side. Ben and Megan take the opposite side from us. “My turn to ask,” Danny starts. “What’s the most interesting horse name you know?”
“Another hard one. Bottom Escape.” I manage to say the name with a straight face.
“You’re kidding, right?” she asks.
“I couldn’t make that one up. The horse was owned by a husband and wife, and they couldn’t decide on a name. So, they both took a large dice and wrote pieces of a name they wanted on their die. Each rolled and that was the outcome.”
“I think I’d have done best one out of three,” she says as her hair swings in her face with the breeze.
“Me too. My turn. What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but not done?” I ask.
It doesn’t take her long to think. “I want to bungie jump. I know that sounds stereotypical, but I want to have that feeling of falling but knowing that something will hold me up,” she admits and I think that she gave more away with her answer than she intended. The ride goes higher and it feel almost like we’ll tumble out.
“Maybe for our fourth date,” I offer, holding tight to the bar.
“Hey, I haven’t agreed to go on the first one,” she points out, in case I’d forgotten.
“You will,” I promise as the ride gently comes to a stop.
The fourth ride is my favorite—the bumper cars. Megan and Ben look way too excited at this ride and I prepare to be hit several times by them. “Beach or mountains?” I ask quickly as we buckle up.
“Beach,” she answers just as quickly. She seems to be sensing the competition. “Chips or cookies?” she asks, eyeing the others in their cars.
“Damn, Danny, you’re pulling out all the stops tonight. Can it not be both?” I ask, hoping that would be a yes.
Her sideways look tells me I need to pick one.
“Fine. If I must. Cookies.”
Just as I answer the ride starts and Ben heads in our direction at full speed. Jerking the wheel, I try to get us away from the incoming hit. In the process we slam into a teenage couple. The guy glares and I know he’ll now be aiming for us. Ben comes out of nowhere and hits us in the side.
“Moving a little slow there, Liam,” Ben calls over the noise of the ride.
“Not for long,” I respond, pushing the gas.
A few seconds later there’s a pile-up. Everyone races to break free. As the ride ends, Danny looks over and says, “Remind me not to ride in your car.”
“Hey now, I’ll have you know I’m a good driver.”
“Hm.”
“I guess you’ll just have to go on that date with me to find out,” I bait her.
“Still haven’t said yes.”
“But you will,” I promise once more.
The fifth ride is a small red-and-blue roller coaster that looks as if it may fall down any moment. “You sure about this?” I ask the group.
“Oh, come on. I’ve been on worse,” Danny says, pulling ahead of us and leading the way.
“Danny, I don’t know if that’s a ringing endorsement,” Megan calls after her but follows.
Danny and I take the front seat while Megan and Ben take one near the middle. “If we fall out, I’m blaming it on you,” I mutter, checking the bar.
“You’ll be fine. You race horses for a living and you’re afraid of this?” She laughs and takes my hand.
“Yeah, well, I think I trust the horse more than this rusted thing. Your turn,” I say, trying to distract myself.
“If you could go back and change one thing, what would it be?” she asks, moving closer as the ride jerks to a start.
“You mean besides getting on this?” I joke, slightly concerned. The wheels are making an odd noise. Danny laughs and squeezes my hand as the coaster pulls away to start the climb up. There are only a few things I would change but none of them I’m willing to admit out loud.
“In the fourth grade I fell riding and broke my arm. I was unable to ride for several months. I would go back and not get on that horse.”
Danny’s face is disappointed at my answer. She believes that as much as I do.
“Are you happy you moved to Fairmore?” I ask. We’re almost to the top. I look at Danny, waiting for her answer, but as she moves to speak, we drop off the top and fall down. The wind rushes and all the passengers scream, some in excitement while others like me are clearly concerned whether the bar will hold. Glancing over at Danny I see that her eyes are closed but pure joy is on her face. She’s loving it. I forget that there’s a good chance we’re falling to our deaths and watch her.
Almost as quickly as the ride had started it was over. The coaster stops and the bar lifts. Danny moves to hop out, but I grab her arm, pulling her back. “You didn’t answer.”
“Yes, I think I am happy I moved here,” she answers and gives me a small grin.
“Guys, I think I’m rided out. Let’s do the Ferris wheel and grab food,” Ben says as we walk out the exit of the roller coaster. I’m surprised that it took him this long to start on the food. In the past we do one ride then food then another ride.
“Sounds good,” Danny says. Megan and I nod in agreement.
It was impossible to miss the Ferris wheel as it was the tallest ride there, and the blinking lights and music invaded the senses the closer one got. “Should we switch up pairs?” Megan asks as we get in line.
Danny and I look at each other. I’ll let her answer that question. If she says yes, then my chances of the date may have gone up in flames. If she says no then I have one more chance at a good question that will convince her.
Chapter Fourteen
Danny
One last ride to enjoy Liam’s company be
fore I tell him I can’t go on the date. Things will get too complicated. I can’t do complicated. “Let’s keep our pairs since this is the last one,” I say.
Liam looks relieved, while Megan looks hopeful. Ben just looks ready for food and the only thing standing in his way is this ride. The wait isn’t long at only five minutes and then we’re in the sky, hovering above the ground.
We don’t too far up before Liam asks his last question. I was expecting it to be if I would go on the date but instead, he doesn’t ask a question but simply says again, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”
I meant to tell him that he could keep his secrets and I would keep mine, but my mouth isn’t listening to my brain. I look down at the people on the ground and think how small they look, wishing that problems and pain were the same way—that the farther away we got, the smaller they became, but that’s not the case. I say so quietly that I hardly hear myself, “My brother died a few years ago.”
I look back at him to see his reaction. Thankfully he doesn’t have pity on his face. I don’t think I could take it if he showed sympathy. Instead, he asks, “How?”
I find myself answering, “He overdosed. Somehow drugs got brought into the hospital he was getting treatment at. Some hospital.” I give a humorless laugh.
“What was his name?” Liam asks.
“Does it matter?” The demand falls from my lips. Instantly I wish I could recall the words.
“Of course it matters. He mattered,” he answers calmly, as one would speak to a wounded animal.
“James. His name was James.” Saying his name out loud was harder than I thought. It feels like all the oxygen around me has been sucked away. James’s face is flashing in my mind.
“I lied earlier. When you asked me what I would go back and change,” Liam admits. “I would go back and try to save my mom. Her name was Alex.” He says it so softly that I think I misheard. “Her drug of choice was cocaine. I didn’t know she had a problem till I found her. My father never told me she was struggling with addiction. He didn’t want to admit she had a problem. Maybe he just thought she would get better on her own. I was ten. After she died, he was never the same.”
