Envious

by Lisa Jackson

  * * *

  Bliss scooted back the chair at her desk. So she and Mason had finally made love. She chewed on the edge of her lip and thought, as she had since returning from the ridge, about the only man she’d ever cared for—ever loved. “Oh, you’re the worst kind of fool,” she told herself as she tossed down her pencil and ignored the plans for a remodel of a warehouse on the Seattle waterfront that had been sent to her and lay open on the desk in her father’s den. Work, which usually interested her, held no appeal—not this morning when the sunlight was streaming off the mountains and sparkling in the dewy grass.

  Last night she’d watched as Mason had returned, unsaddled and unbridled Lucifer. He hadn’t so much as glanced at the house where she’d stood at a window. Instead he’d climbed into his truck and driven away, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

  She didn’t believe that he’d used her, wouldn’t even consider her father’s protests that Mason was only getting close to her to get back at him. No, the attraction that she and Mason felt for each other was deep enough to cross time barriers, strong enough to dim the past with all its pain.

  So here she was, contemplating loving a man she’d sworn to avoid.

  Every time the phone had rung she’d nearly jumped out of her skin, hoping that Mason had decided to call. Each time, she’d been disappointed. She hadn’t heard a word from him all day, but then, she supposed, it was her turn to make a move in his direction. If that was what she wanted.

  She heard a car in the drive and her heart did a quick little leap. Pulling the old curtains aside, she saw Katie’s convertible approaching the house. Her hair was wild and free, her smile wide as she parked, and though Bliss was still thinking about Mason, she was glad for the distraction that her half-sister was sure to bring.

  A few seconds later, Katie was ringing the bell on the front porch and Bliss threw open the door. A wave of heat rolled inside. “Come in,” she said, before the younger woman had a chance to say a word.

  “I just stopped by to let you know that John’s being released, but Mom’s insisting he stay with her in town. She wants him where she can keep her eye on him, and, really, I don’t blame her.”

  “Neither do I,” Bliss replied, still unsure exactly how she felt about this dynamo of a half-sister but willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. “Would you like something to drink or eat?”

  “Yeah, a glass of water would be good, then I’ve got to look under the hood. My car acts like it’s about to give up the ghost and it hasn’t even reached two hundred thousand miles yet.”

  “Imagine that,” Bliss said dryly.

  She poured them each cups of water with ice, handed one to Katie, then followed the redhead outside where her bug-splattered car was resting in the shade of a spruce tree. Above their heads fragrant needles rustled in the hot breeze, and from the safety of a high branch a squirrel scolded Oscar, who whined and barked and ran in circles at the base of the tree.

  Katie popped the hood and while she bent over the engine, she talked. “Hold this a sec, would you?” She took a long swallow of water, then handed the cup back to Bliss. “You know, those brothers of mine would know exactly what’s wrong, but where are they when you need them, huh? Around? No way. Probably somewhere raising hell. Oh.” She lifted her head and offered Bliss a knowing glance. “They’re really not as much trouble as all that. Even the twins with their reputations aren’t bad guys—just, well, irreverent would be a good word to describe them.” She turned back to the cooling engine, touched it delicately as the radiator gave out a warning hiss. “Too hot to do anything with right now,” she said, blowing her bangs out of her eyes and accepting her glass of water again.

  “I decided to drop by and fill you in because I have a few minutes while Mom and Josh pick up John.” She scratched her head and frowned, her forehead puckering thoughtfully. “You know, I’d like to pretend that all this is okay and we could be one big happy family, that I was big enough to make nice-nice for Mom’s sake, but the truth of the matter is, I’m not cool with everything that went on between them and though I want them both to be happy, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to call John ‘Dad.’”

  “I don’t blame you.” Bliss lifted a shoulder, as if she didn’t care, but she was glad that Katie was having the same kind of mental dilemma that she did. The situation was beyond complicated.

  “Mom wanted me to tell you that while John’s recuperating at her house, you can come over any time.”

  Bliss wasn’t sure about that. She still had more than her share of reservations where her father and Brynnie were concerned. “How long will he be there?”

  “Well, that’s the problem, isn’t it?” Katie said nervously, and Bliss suspected they were finally getting down to brass tacks—the real reason for her half-sister’s visit. “You know that Mom sold her portion of this place to Mason, though no money changed hands—the deal hasn’t closed yet. Now Mason’s willing to sell it back to her or John or whoever, which is good, I guess. But the thing is that she did it in the first place behind John’s back. Mom should have talked it over with your dad first, I think. I mean, they’re getting married and all, so why the secrets? If you ask me, when two people decide to tie the knot they should be able to trust each other implicitly, be able to talk over everything. I mean every thing.” She picked at a sliver in the fence rail while Bliss felt sweat collect between her shoulder blades. “Call me a dreamer, but that’s what marriage means to me.”

  “I guess it means something different to everyone,” Bliss said, remembering her parents’ union and knowing now that it was based on lies and deception. She took a long swallow from her glass. “Sometimes I wonder if this wedding is ever going to come off.” Her father and Brynnie’s relationship seemed more tenuous as the days passed. Oh, yeah? And what about your relationship, if that’s what you’d call it, with Mason?

  Katie took a final swallow of water, tossed the melting cubes onto the grass and handed her glass to Bliss. “Look, I’ve got to run soon. Josh’ll be home in half an hour.” Her eyes darkened with a personal pain Bliss could only attribute to her son.

  “You’re worried about him.”

  “Him and a lot of things. But, yeah, he’s at the top of the list. Raising a kid—especially a boy his age—alone isn’t exactly a piece of cake.”

  “What about his father?”

  Katie frowned. “Took off when I got pregnant. Haven’t heard from him since. I decided I could raise my baby alone and I haven’t really had to. Mom’s always helped out.” She studied the horizon, but Bliss suspected she wasn’t observing the mountains or lowering sun, instead she was looking inward, to a private place only she could see. “I don’t talk much about Josh’s father. It’s easier that way, although my curious son has been asking a lot of questions lately.” She lifted a shoulder. “What about you? No kids, I know, but why haven’t you ever married? And don’t tell me you never met the right kind of guy, ’cause I won’t believe it. With your looks, money and connections, my guess is that men—most of them potential ‘right guys’—were flocking all over you.”

  “Maybe the right guy turned out to be the wrong one.” Bliss eyed the cattle lumbering in the fields of the lower hills and tried not to let her thoughts turn toward Mason again. “Mom and Dad’s marriage wasn’t exactly picture perfect, but then you know that. Mom always wanted me to date—and I quote—‘a strong, moral man with social standing, not some riffraff or rough-and-tumble cowboy like I did.’”

  “Oh.”

  Bliss plucked a piece of dry grass from a clump near the fence post. “According to my mother, no one was good enough for me and I really wasn’t interested.”

  “Because of Mason,” Katie guessed shrewdly.

  “What?”

  “Hey, I’ve lived here all my life, heard the gossip, and it doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together. You got involved with Mason and John gave him the old heave-ho about the time of your riding accident up on the ridge. Yo
ur dad blamed Mason for what happened.” She glanced at Bliss, then continued. “Terri was pregnant, Mason married her, and you’ve never given your heart to another man, right?” Her green eyes were dark with unasked questions and Bliss found it increasingly impossible not to like Katie Kinkaid.

  Pride inched Bliss’s chin up a notch or two. She wanted to argue, but thought better of it. Wasn’t Katie reaching out, talking to her, being the sister she’d never had? “Something like that,” she admitted. There was more, a lot more, but some things were private and couldn’t be shared, especially with a stranger who just happened to have turned out to be a half-sister.

  “Well, good.”

  “Good?” Bliss couldn’t believe her ears. For years, Margaret had paraded eligible suitors in front of her face, begging her to find someone to share her life with and get over whatever it was that had been eating at her—especially if it had to do with a certain cowboy John had told her about.

  “Yeah. Good.” Katie tossed her hair away from her face. “Now you and Mason can get together. He’s divorced, you’ve never married and the rest can become, as they say, history.”

  “I think that’s a little premature.”

  “Ten years is a long time.”

  Bliss bristled. “Listen, if anyone needs a man, it’s you.” Katie’s small jaw became granite. “Believe me, Bliss, no one ever needs a man, but sometimes it’s nice to have one around. I’m doing just fine on my own.”

  “So am I.”

  “Well, I wouldn’t pass Mason up, if I were you. He loves his kid and is a good man. Last night we had Dee Dee over, you know.” She thought for a minute. “She’s a good kid—a little on the quiet side—but then I’m used to Josh, who’s more than outgoing. But I’d only been around Dee Dee a couple of times before, but I liked her. She made sense. It’s too bad her folks don’t see eye-to-eye.”

  “Mason’s crazy about her.”

  Katie’s smile was wistful. “I know, and Terri doesn’t realize what a godsend that is. There are so many fathers who are deadbeats or more interested in themselves than their kids.” She sighed, then shook off the wistfulness that had come over her. “Anyway, as I said, Mason’s a catch, Bliss, and now that you’re my sister I guess I have the right to give you some advice. Don’t make the same mistake twice.”

  “I’ll try not to,” Bliss replied, a little unnerved at Katie’s boldness. Sure, they were related by blood, but that didn’t give her half-sister the right to try and run her life.

  Katie dusted her palms together. “Time to tackle the car again.” She walked back to the worn-out convertible and stuck her head under the still-open hood. Perplexed, she wiggled a few wires, then unscrewed the caps on the battery. “What I wouldn’t give to have taken auto mechanics in high school. Damn.” She replaced the caps and wiped her fingers on her jeans. With a sidelong glance at her half-sister, she said, “So you’re out here all alone for the next few nights.”

  “I’ve got Oscar.” At the sound of his name, the dog gave out a yip and wagged his tail, but his head was still craned upward as he focused on the squirrel.

  “And Mason, if you want him.”

  Bliss stiffened. “Give me a break.”

  “Don’t tell me he’s not interested.” Katie closed the hood with a loud clunk. “I may not have ever been married, but Mom’s walked down the aisle enough for the two of us. I’ve seen love and maybe even been there once myself. You, Bliss, have got it bad, and so does Mason.”

  “You don’t know—”

  “Sure, I do. I’ve known Mason a long time. So have my brothers. He’s in love with you, Bliss, whether you want to know it or not. Well, speak of the devil.” A satisfied smile stole over her face.

  Oscar gave a quick little bark as Mason’s truck rolled into the drive.

  Katie laughed as she walked toward the driver’s side of her car and Bliss’s pulse, though she was loath to admit it, skyrocketed. “Someone just proved my point.”

  Mason waved to Katie as she climbed into her rattletrap of a convertible and twisted on the ignition. The engine coughed twice before catching. Then Katie gunned it, and in a plume of blue smoke, the old car lumbered down the drive.

  Bliss stood her ground and wished she knew what to say to this man who could turn her world upside down with one long, slow, life-altering kiss.

  * * *

  Mason felt a tightening in his gut at the sight of her. Dear Lord, Bliss Cawthorne was beautiful and seductive and sexy without even trying to be. As he braked, she smiled slightly, the wind catching in her sun-streaked hair. His heart stopped for a second that was destined to change his life forever. He didn’t have a reason to be here, but all day long he’d thought of last evening and making love to her. The image of her blue eyes, dusky with desire, her lush lips and rosy-tipped white breasts had filtered through his mind time and time again.

  “Well, Mr. Lafferty. I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”

  “No?” Was she kidding? “I thought we needed to talk.”

  “I suppose,” she agreed, though her eyes were bright with suspicions. She rolled one palm toward the heavens. “What do you want?”

  “What do I want?” he repeated as he stared at her. You. I want you, Bliss Cawthorne, and I always have. I wish things were different between us, and God, I wish I never had hurt you. He crossed the span of the driveway and stood so close to her he saw the slight trembling of her lip and caught the light scent of her perfume. “There are lots of things, Bliss.”

  “Such as?”

  “I wanted to see you again.” He searched her eyes. She swallowed hard and some of her false bravado slipped away. “Look, just because we made love doesn’t mean you have some kind of responsibility, a duty to—”

  “Is that what you think?”

  “To tell you the truth, Mason, I don’t know what to think.”

  He believed her. She’d never looked more confused in her life. Well, he intended to set one thing straight. Before she could back up a step, he gathered her into his arms and lowered his lips to meet hers. Her mouth was soft and supple and yielding, her body warm and inviting. With a groan, he held her fast, hands splaying over her back, his blood pumping through his veins.

  Lifting his head he stared into eyes that reflected his own passion. “Now that we’ve settled my sense of ‘duty,’” he said, running a thumb over her lower lip, “let’s talk about us.”

  He felt her stiffen. “I thought I told you goodbye last night.”

  “You didn’t mean it.”

  She lifted a teasing eyebrow. “Didn’t I?”

  It was all he could take. “No way, lady,” he said and heard her gasp as he lifted her deftly off her feet and carried her into the house.

  “Mason, stop! Let me down!” she cried as he marched determinedly down the short hallway to the bedroom where he’d first carried her bags years ago.

  He dropped her onto the old double bed and as she landed, fell onto the sagging mattress with her.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” she demanded.

  “Making love to you.”

  “What? No—” He cut off her protests with a kiss that started in his lips but touched him so deeply that his groin tightened and his erection, already at half-mast, stiffened in anticipation.

  Her arms wound around his neck and she sighed contentedly into his mouth. “Why is it I can never say no to you?” she asked as she opened the buttons of his shirt.

  “Because I’m so damned irresistible.”

  She laughed. “Oh, that’s it,” she said.

  “Why else?” His breath fanned her ear and she couldn’t think. His hand caressed her breast and she moaned. From that moment onward, she was lost.

  * * *

  He spent the night and it seemed natural to wake with his arms around her, his face buried in the crook of her neck. How many years had she dreamed of opening her eyes to see the sunlight caress the contours of his face? His beard had grown overnight and his eyelashes br
ushed the tops of his cheeks. In slumber there were no lines of worry disturbing the skin of his forehead, no creases of suspicion pulling at the corners of his mouth.

  I love you, she thought, but didn’t dare utter the words. This was an affair, nothing more; the culmination of years of old dreams. They weren’t kids any longer, but adults with their own sets of problems; their own lives. He ran several ranches and a corporation or two, she was working on becoming a partner in the firm where she worked in Seattle. He had an ex-wife and a daughter; she had Oscar, who, by the sounds of the whining at the bedroom door, needed to go outside.

  She threw on a robe, padded down the hallway and let Oscar out the front door. Delores, the cook and housemaid, had the week off, but a few of the ranch hands had already parked their trucks near the barn.

  Out of habit she started the coffee and was unloading the dishwasher when she heard the shuffle of bare feet on the floor. She turned and found Mason, dressed only in his worn jeans, rubbing his jaw and glancing out the window. His hair, mussed and falling over his forehead, made him seem younger than his years and his broad shoulders were tanned. But she couldn’t ignore the scar that ran around his upper arm, a reminder that his arm had nearly been torn from its socket as he’d tried to save her all those years ago.

  “Good morning,” she said as the coffeepot gurgled to life.

  “It is, isn’t it?” One side of his mouth lifted in a playful smile that she found absolutely endearing. She’d miss that smile as well as his lips upon her skin when she returned to Seattle.

  “The best. Coffee’ll be done in a second.”

  “Good.”

  “How about breakfast?”

  “You get dressed and I’ll buy.”

  “No reason,” she countered. “I can cook.”

  “What d’ya know? Three languages, ballet, a B.A. in architecture and she can cook.”

  “That’s a Masters in architecture,” she reminded him as he walked up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the back of her neck.