“What isn’t dead?”
Tess tried to think how to explain.
“Chivalry. It’s uh…an Earth concept. The idea that a man should treat a lady with respect and do little things like…like opening her door, carrying her luggage…stuff like that.” She could feel her cheeks getting warm. “It’s silly, really—I was just thinking that you seem to be a natural at it.”
“Thank you,” he said, lifting her heavy duffel out of the back seat. “But I’m just doing what any male would do for any female.”
“Uh…sure.” Tess nodded, thinking of how Pierce had never done any of those things. Then again, it wasn’t like they had traveled much. Her ex had liked keeping her locked away too much to indulge in any weekend getaways.
She winced as she took a few steps for the first time in several hours. The last stop they had made was at a gas station to fill up Uncle Jackson’s fuel guzzling Ford and she had stiffened up considerably since then.
“Tess…” Garron’s deep voice sounded so worried she looked around at him.
“What? Is everything okay?”
“No. Your back…” He gestured, concern written all over his face. “It looks worse—much worse.”
Tess tried to look over her shoulder with very little success. She couldn’t see much but some dried blood and the motion really hurt her back and neck. The pain went nicely with the knot of tension she could feel growing in her gut. She knew her back looked bad—how could it not? It felt like raw hamburger. But it wasn’t like he had to point it out all over again.
“I’m not surprised,” she said grimly. “This kind of thing gets worse before it gets better. Sorry if it grosses you out—I’ll deal with it once we get in the room. In the mean time here—give me my sweater out of the duffel.”
She shrugged carefully into the black sweater. It wasn’t very comfortable but at least it covered the bloody blotches on the back of her shirt. It also covered her breasts which was good—she felt more exposed now that she was standing out in the cold night air.
“It’s not that it makes me feel ill, at least, not for the reason you seem to think.” His voice was hoarse. “You talk as though you’re used to it—to this level of brutality. I just…I don’t see how that bastard could have…”
“He beat me with his belt, all right?” Tess snapped. “The buckle end, which was a first. But it was not the first time he came after me. So yes, I know what to expect. Can we please go get the hotel room now?”
She knew she sounded defensive but she couldn’t help it. The big Kindred didn’t seem to be the “blame the victim” kind of guy, but his words reminded her of people she’d met who were. “Well why did you go back to him? What were you thinking? Did you really believe him when he said he’d changed?”
You couldn’t explain to people like that how trapped you felt—how isolated you were once you’d been cut off from your friends and family, uprooted and moved halfway across the country to a town you didn’t know, where you weren’t allowed to finish school or have any kind of decent job. Not in a way they would understand, anyway.
“I’m sorry,” Garron said in a low voice. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No, I’m sorry.” Tess sighed. “It just hurts like hell and I’m really tired and cranky right now. I left Pierce months ago and I guess I thought…thought this part of my life was over.” She motioned at her back. “Guess I was wrong.”
“No.” His eyes flashed. “You were right. Didn’t I tell you he’ll never touch you again?”
Sure—for as long as you want to hang around. Until your guilt runs out or you decide you were dreaming about somebody else and you want to go back to the Mother Ship.
Tess didn’t say any of it out loud. She simply nodded and gave him a tight smile.
“Forget about me for a minute—how are your hands?” she said as lightly as she could, trying to change the subject.
“Better.” He held them out, palms up, and she was surprised to see that the abrasions he’d gotten while yanking the anti-theft mesh out of the window were almost healed.
“Amazing!” The nurse in her wanted to examine them more closely. She took one of his hands between her own, much smaller ones, and looked at it closely. “How is this possible?”
He shrugged. “Kindred heal more quickly than humans.”
“Well, that’s…oh!” A wave of dizziness hit her, causing her to grip his hand for support.
“Tess? Are you all right?” Garron sounded really concerned. He reached out to support her with his other hand as well but she shook her head and stepped back. Taking a deep breath, she stood up straight even though it made her back feel like someone had set it on fire.
“Fine—I’m fine. Just really tired. Come on, let’s get a room.”
Garron looked like he wanted to say more. Instead, he followed her wordlessly into the hotel lobby where a sleepy night clerk agreed to let them have a king single room even though it was nearly four thirty in the morning. They rode silently in the elevator up to the third floor and found their room.
Tess opened the door with the keycard since Garron was carrying her duffel. He followed her into the room, but when he tried to follow her into the bathroom, she drew the line.
“No,” she said firmly, keeping a hand on the knob. “This is a private place. See the toilet and shower? People get naked in this room and I’m not about to get naked in front of you. I mean, just because you saw me with my towel half off earlier…” He didn’t just see you—he held you…felt you pressed against him, whispered a little voice in her head. She felt her cheeks getting red. “I just…I need a little time to myself, okay?”
“I know why you want time to yourself.” Garron frowned. “And it’s not all about modesty. You’re going to try to see to your back—but you can’t treat injuries like that alone.”
“I’ll be fine.” Tess shifted uncomfortably. “Honestly, I’m a nurse—or I was almost one, anyway. I’ve got my LPN, just not my RN. Anyway, the point is, I can manage.”
“No, you can’t.” His deep voice was stern. “And you’re not going to try. Take some time to bathe if that’s what you want to do. After that, come out and let me help you.”
Tess set her jaw. She wasn’t going to have him helping her—not after the way he’d freaked out about her back earlier. Also, even though he had seen her half naked before, she didn’t intend to repeat the performance. She had too many big-girl body issues to go prancing around in the nude—especially in front of a guy like Garron who was in perfect shape and looked like he’d stepped off the front cover of Men’s Health.
“I don’t think so,” she said shortly.
“I do.” He looked at her, his jewel-toned eyes blazing into hers.
“I don’t really care what you think.” She was aware that it sounded childish but she didn’t care. She hated feeling like a victim and she’d had enough of men telling her what to do.
“Tess—”
“I’ll be out in a little while. Don’t worry, I won’t use all the hot water.”
She shut the door firmly in his face and then took a deep breath and pressed her forehead against the door. Why was she being so bitchy to him? He was just trying to help, after all.
But I don’t want to need help. I don’t like feeling this way—wounded…cornered…vulnerable. Indeed, she’d liked it a whole lot better back when he thought she wasn’t real—when she was just an artificial girl without any real problems or personality. At least then he hadn’t looked at her with pity in those gorgeous eyes of his. At least he hadn’t been horrified by what had happened to her.
Tess sighed and took off her sweater and yoga pants—though she kept on her panties—and started to pull off her shirt. Or tried to, anyway—but the shirt wouldn’t come off.
The pink cotton t-shirt was stuck to the skin of her back. Indeed, the fabric seemed to have bonded to the places where Pierce’s buckle had cut her especially deep.
Tess gave a low hiss of pa
in as a small part of the t-shirt gave way, tearing the skin open again as it did. A warm trickle of blood ran down her back.
“Goddamnit!” she muttered under her breath. “Of all the stupid things…”
“Tess?” There was a knocking at the bathroom door. “Do you need help?”
“No!” she said at once. She pulled at the t-shirt again and tore more skin open. “Damn it…” She sighed. There was silence outside the door but it was a listening silence, as though the big Kindred was standing there, waiting for her to acknowledge her helplessness.
“Tess?” he said again after a moment.
Tess sighed, defeated. There was no way she was getting the t-shirt off herself. Although she didn’t know what Garron could do to help, she finally opened the door.
“All right, come in. My stupid t-shirt is stuck to my back but I don’t see what you can do about it.”
He studied the red-splotched back of her pink t-shirt for a moment and she watched his expression covertly in the mirror, looking for signs of disgust. There was nothing on his face, though—he kept it carefully blank. Only the blazing of his pure turquoise eyes betrayed any emotion.
“I think I know what to do,” he said at last. “Come here.” He led her to the bath tub and tested the water temperature carefully before turning on the shower. Then he stepped back. “Get in.”
“What—with all my clothes on?” Actually, she was down to just her t-shirt and panties—a point she was acutely aware of. But still…
“If you ever want to get that pink garment off, then yes. Here—it looks like the bathing area might be slippery.” He rolled up his sleeves and offered her a hand. “I’ll help you in.”
At last Tess’s tired brain began to process what he had in mind.
“I can manage,” she said stiffly and then ruined her show of independence by swaying tiredly before she could even get near the shower.
“Here.” Reaching out, Garron took her arm firmly and handed her carefully into the tub. “Now just stand under the spray.”
Tess hissed as the lukewarm needles of water hit her injured back but after a moment she could feel the shower doing its job. The cotton material which had dried stiff to her back at last began to loosen. Finally, she could feel the t-shirt pealing free to hang in limp, sodden folds around her hips. Her hair got wet in the process, as well as the rest of her but she almost didn’t care. The water felt refreshing after the long, cramped drive and its warmth was welcome against her aching, bruised back.
“All right, I think it’s better now,” Garron’s deep voice said in her ear and the water was suddenly turned off.
Tess jumped—in her pleasure at the shower, she’d almost forgotten he was standing right beside her.
“Step out onto the mat,” he said, indicating the white terrycloth bathmat in front of the tub. “But first take off your wet clothes so I can wrap you in this.” He held out a white towel and nodded at her.
“What? No.” Tess shook her head vehemently. “I told you, I’m not getting naked around you.”
Garron sighed. “You have a beautiful body, Tess but you’re wounded right now. I hope you don’t think I’m the kind of male who would take advantage of you in your current situation.”
“I don’t really know what kind of guy, uh male, you are,” Tess snapped and felt immediately sorry for being mean. After all, he was trying help her. “I mean, you seem really nice I just…haven’t known you that long. That’s all,” she ended rather lamely.
“No, you’re right. You don’t know me.” Garron’s expression was closed. “I don’t blame you for being cautious. Would it help if I closed my eyes?” He closed them as he spoke and then motioned with the towel which he was still holding open for her.
“Well…” Tess bit her lip and decided she was just going to have to trust him. After all, he hadn’t tried to take advantage so far and he did seem like a nice guy. So did Pierce…at first, whispered a voice in her head but she pushed it away. “All right,” she said at last when the big Kindred just stood there with his eyes closed, waiting. “Just give me a minute.”
“Take as much time as you need.”
“Thanks.” She shuffled out of the sodden pink t-shirt as carefully as she could, trying not to pull the bruised muscles of her back. God, you never knew how much you used your back until you injured it—or someone else injured it for you.
Hold still, bitch! Hold still and take your whipping! Pierce shouted in her head.
Tess took a deep breath and put a lid on the memory. There was no point in reliving that part of the pain too.
She debated taking her panties off too and in the end, she decided to do it. Modesty was just going to have to take a back seat to comfort, at least for tonight. She slipped her thumbs into the waistband of her plain white panties—now soaked like the t-shirt—pushed them down and kicked them away. Then slowly, carefully, she climbed out of the tub.
Garron was still standing there waiting with his eyes closed tight, his eyelashes like black fans against his high cheekbones. Tess wondered if he was fighting the urge to peek—or if he was glad he’d promised to keep his eyes closed. Probably the latter. Still, he had said she had a beautiful body…
Forget it and just cover up, she advised herself. Accordingly, she stepped into the white towel and pulled it around her… Or she would have if the rough hotel terrycloth hadn’t felt like sandpaper against her wounded back. She hissed in pain and jumped away from the coarse material.
“Are you all right?” Garron sounded concerned but he still didn’t open his eyes.
“Fine, I just…here, give me the towel, please.” She took the white towel and pressed it against her chest instead of wrapping it around from the back. Now her ass was hanging out but at least her front was covered. In this position the towel only rubbed against one sore spot—a little cut on her left breast just above her nipple. It was the first blow Pierce had landed before she’d gotten into a protective crouch and only a glancing one, so it didn’t hurt that much. “Okay,” she said at last, trying to keep the towel firmly in place. “You can open your eyes now.”
“All right.” He opened his eyes and his gaze flicked over her quickly, as though looking for injuries. “The front of you looks mostly unharmed at least,” he remarked after a quick but thorough inspection.
“That’s because I was in a ball on the floor protecting my face,” Tess said grimly. “A hurt back heals a hell of a lot faster than a broken jaw or a…” She stopped when she saw the look on his face. “I’m sorry,” she muttered, looking away. “I shouldn’t have…I don’t know why I said that.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” His face was tight, his jaw clenched. “I should have gotten to you sooner. Should never have sent you off the Mother Ship in the first place.”
“I told you, it’s not your fault.” Tess sighed. “Look, I know how horrifying this must seem to someone who’s never dealt with it before—”
“But I have dealt with it,” he said quietly, surprising her. “Look,” he continued, obviously seeing the skeptical expression on her face. He unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it down, off his shoulders. Turning, he exposed his broad, bare back.
Tess caught her breath. She’d seen him shirtless before but only from the front. Now, in the harsh fluorescent lights mounted over the sink and counter, she could see that his smooth, tan skin was marked with long, white scars, almost like stripes running across his shoulders. They were faint, as though they’d been made a long time ago before he got his growth, but still noticeable.
Without thinking she reached up to trace one with her fingertip. The big Kindred shivered under her touch but didn’t try to move away.
“How?” she whispered.
“Those are the marks of a cane cut from the agony plant.”
“The agony plant? Sounds awful.” Tess shivered.
“It has certain chemicals that cause the wound to sting like fire and heal more slowly so the pain lasts for longer.”
He frowned. “I was about eight or nine cycles old when he used it on me. I have born the marks ever since.”
“He…who?” Tess shook her head. Who would do such a cruel thing to a little boy?
“My apa—my father. He was…much like your ex mate.” He turned to face her again, pulling the shirt back into place but leaving it loose and unbuttoned.
“He was?” Tess raised an eyebrow at him. “Really? He, uh, hurt you and your mother?”
“Not my mother, no.” Garron shook his head. “I think that is what bothers me so much about what…was done to you. He never lifted a hand to her—or to any female. All his aggression was aimed at my brother and myself.”
“So you…grew up with this kind of thing?” Tess asked hesitantly.
He nodded. “My brother tried to deflect his anger as much as he could but there were times when it wasn’t always possible, especially when my father was very drunk. He…” Garron looked away. “He was unstoppable then, until he had spent his anger on someone. Most often that was my brother, Truth. But sometimes…sometimes it was my turn.”
“I’m sorry,” Tess whispered. Unexpectedly, she felt the knot of tension in her stomach begin to melt. “Sorry I was so snippy with you. I thought you didn’t understand. But now I see you do—you must.”
“I can empathize,” he said. “But I will never understand how anyone could mark such a lovely female or raise a hand to you in violence.”
“Oh, well that’s…” Tess felt her cheeks getting hot. “That’s really…”
“True,” Garron finished for her. He reached out and brushed her hot cheek with his fingertips. “I’m sorry I wasn’t in time to stop what happened to you. Will you let me make it up to you?”
She shook her head. “How?”
“By healing you.”
Tess looked at him uncertainly. “I’m not sure…I understand what you’re asking.”
He sighed. “I’m not either. I’ve never tried anything like this before but I think it would work.”
“Anything like what?” She frowned at him.
“Anything like this. Can I see your arm?” He motioned to her left forearm, which had a bruise and a cut where the belt had hit. Her back wasn’t the only part Pierce had injured—just the most painful.
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