Right, her conscience told her. And the fact that Connor never shared that side of himself with Emily, never told her about his childhood, never brought her to the restaurant, that has nothing to do with it.
Kelsey wanted to shove the goading voice aside, but it was impossible to ignore. Connor had trusted her with the heartbreak of his past and a happier part of his present, and it was almost impossible not to think of the future. Not a forever future, of course, but the immediate future—and how she’d gladly spend what time she and Connor had left in his arms.
For the first time in years, Kelsey didn’t feel like she’d come in a distant second to her too-beautiful cousin, an irony her disapproving conscience couldn’t overlook, as Connor was the one man in a position to best make comparisons…
“You’re too quiet,” Connor murmured in her ear. “It makes me nervous.”
Kelsey laughed at the thought of anything making Connor nervous. “Don’t be. I was just thinking.”
“Hmm. Those might be the most nerve-racking words a man ever hears. Should I ask what you’ve been thinking?”
Not brave enough to admit the whole truth, Kelsey said, “Only that we don’t have much time left.”
Connor cocked an eyebrow. “Until the wedding?”
“Until you leave.”
“Ready to see me go, huh?”
“Surprisingly, no,” Kelsey said, although Connor didn’t seem surprised by her admission.
Because it was so obvious how her heart slammed into her chest every time he came near? How her knees turned to jelly with a single look? It wasn’t something she wanted to admit to herself, forget giving Connor that kind of ammunition. Because even though telling her about his past and bringing her to meet his surrogate mother might have melted the walls around her heart, nothing said Connor felt the same.
“Good,” he said. “Since I’m not ready to leave.”
“Because you haven’t figured Todd out yet?”
Connor scoffed. “I did that a long time ago. No, it’s you I’m still trying to figure out.”
This time it was Kelsey’s turn to laugh. “I’m no mystery. I’ve already spilled all my secrets.”
“I think there’s more to discover. But I’ve already figured out a few things on my own. Like how you feel in my arms…how you taste when I kiss you…how I can make you blush without even trying.”
Feeling her face heat, Kelsey protested, “Like you aren’t trying right now.”
“Naw,” he said with a grin that did more than make her face heat as he lifted a hand and traced a pattern on her cheek. “If I was really trying to make you blush, I’d tell you how much this star on your cheek turns me on—especially when I think about all the other shapes I might find…and where I might find them.”
Kelsey swallowed. She’d spent her whole life hating the freckles that marked her pale skin, but in a split second, in a single sentence, Connor had made her forget every teasing comment, every self-conscious thought.
“Connor.” The lone word was all she could manage, but every bit of the emotion she felt echoed in her voice.
Making a sound deep in his throat that could have been a groan, he protested, “Don’t look at me like that or I’ll end up doing something not meant to be done in public.”
Kelsey did lower her gaze, from the hunger in his eyes and past his too-tempting lips, to stare at his throat. Not because of what he’d said, but because she didn’t have the courage to look him in the face and say what she wanted to say. “There are…more private places.”
Connor’s arms flexed, pulling her closer, and his voice was a deep rumble in her ear as he said, “My hotel room.”
Seemingly without conscious thought, an image flashed in Kelsey’s mind—Emily leaving Connor’s room—and she blurted out, “My house.”
Bringing their dance to a halt, Connor stepped back slightly and nudged her chin up. “Are you sure?”
Even though he was asking about so much more than a simple destination, Kelsey met his gaze and repeated, “My house.”
She felt slightly guilty as Connor pulled her through the restaurant. “Shouldn’t we say goodbye?”
“Maria’ll understand,” Connor insisted without breaking stride.
Deciding she’d rather not think about how much the woman might understand, Kelsey focused on keeping up with Connor’s long strides. Her heart pounded wildly in her chest, but the crazed rhythm had less to do with how fast they were going and so much more to do with what would happen once they got back to her place. And Kelsey didn’t think Connor could walk fast enough….
And he must have felt the same, she realized when they reached the car. Instead of unlocking the door, Connor turned and pulled her into his arms.
“I’ve wanted to do this from the moment I saw you.”
The husky words would have been easier to believe had Kelsey spoken them, but coming from Connor, they sent a thrill rushing through her as enticing as his kiss. “You wanted to do this at the airport?”
“At the airport. In your car on the way from the airport. The first time we came to the restaurant.” His voice dropped to a husky murmur. “My hotel room.”
Kelsey shivered, her thoughts instantly turning to the king-size bed where she wouldn’t have to imagine the press of Connor’s body against her own. His green eyes glowed as if he’d read her thoughts and was right there…in his hotel bed…with her.
Ducking his head, he caught her lips in a kiss that picked up right where the last had left off. The hunger and intensity didn’t have to build; passion and desire had shimmered between them all evening like desert heat. Kelsey sank her hands into his dark hair, her fingers sifting through the silky strands. With Connor leaning against the side of the car, Kelsey didn’t have to stretch to reach his mouth; they were perfectly aligned—lips to lips, chest to chest, thigh to thigh.
Connor slid his hands down her back, his fingers claiming the soft flesh of her hips as he pulled her tighter into the vee of his body. Kelsey thought if it were possible to pass out from pure pleasure, she might sink to the ground on the spot.
Instead, she broke away from his kiss. Hiding her face against his neck, she murmured, “My house, remember?” And then she gave in to temptation and pressed her mouth to the strong column of his throat, right where his pulse pounded in time with the pulsing Latin beat coming from the restaurant.
His throat jerked as he swallowed, and he pushed away from the car door without breaking their embrace. He reached back for the door handle and fumbled for a second before he broke away with a muffled curse and twisted around to get a better grip. But instead of pulling the door open, Connor paused, hand in the air as if he’d forgotten what he was doing. Seeming to shake off the hesitation, he opened the door for her.
But in that split-second hesitation, the intensity dissipated like smoke from a doused fire. Her heart still pounded from the kiss, and her breath was far from steady, but the mood had definitely changed. He wouldn’t meet her gaze, and Kelsey couldn’t help wondering…“Connor, what’s wrong? Did I do something—”
“No,” he bit out. His fierce expression lessened when he saw her flinch, but frustration filled his movements as he ran a hand through his hair. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just—this is crazy. You make me crazy! I haven’t made out with a girl in a car since Emily, and now here I am with another Wilson—”
His words cut off abruptly, but not before the small thrill Kelsey experienced at the thought of driving Connor McClane crazy was buried by a wave of doubt and insecurity as she imagined Connor and Emily making out in a car.
And—could this really get any worse—not just any car. The vintage Mustang belonged to Javy, who’d undoubtedly owned it for years. Back when Connor would have borrowed the hot car to pick up Emily…
Humiliation burning in her cheeks, Kelsey wanted nothing more than to go home, but she dreaded getting in that car. It didn’t matter that she and Connor had already driven all over tow
n in it; now, all she could see was Emily in the passenger seat, wind whipping through her blond hair. Emily, searching for a favorite song on the radio. Emily, slipping into the back seat where Connor waited…
“This was a mistake.”
“Kelsey—”
“Can we go?” she interrupted. Maybe if she closed her eyes, she could picture herself somewhere else.
“No.”
“What?”
Connor’s dark frown told her she’d definitely heard right the first time. “No. I’m not gonna let you run off.”
“There’s nothing else to talk about, Connor. You and Emily—”
“All right. Fine. Let’s talk about how there hasn’t been a ‘me and Emily’ for years. I can’t change my past, and I can’t change yours.”
“My past?”
“How much of this is about me and Emily? And how much of it is about you and Emily? How many times have you felt you couldn’t live up to your cousins? How many times have the Wilsons made you feel second best?”
How many? Kelsey couldn’t count the numerous times she’d tried walking in her cousins’ footsteps only to fall in disgrace again and again. “Uncle Gordon and Aunt Charlene treated me exactly like they treated Aileen and Emily. But that was the problem. I’m—not like those girls.”
“You don’t have to be, Kelsey. You’re you. That’s more than enough.”
Honesty and desire glowed in Connor’s eyes. But as much as she longed to believe him, as she slid into the passenger seat Kelsey couldn’t help feeling like she was trying yet again to fill Emily’s place.
Shoving the key into the ignition, Connor started the car, and they were silent throughout the ride back to Kelsey’s; the rumble of the engine was the only sound. Only as they pulled into her driveway did she find the courage to ask the question shouting through her thoughts the whole time.
“Why did you stop? If it wasn’t about Emily—”
Connor sighed. “We were in the middle of a public parking lot where anyone could walk by. I should have the self-control to keep my hands to myself. But being back here has me acting like a hotheaded kid again. You make me feel like a hotheaded kid,” he practically growled, not sounding the least bit happy about the idea. “Not Emily. You.”
“I want to believe you. But this is all happening so fast, and it isn’t easy to change how I feel after a matter of days!”
“I know. But I’m gonna keep trying.”
Connor walked her to the front door, where he leaned close, giving her ample time to pull away. If his earlier kiss had struck like a flash of lightning, this was like the slow promise of a sunrise. Kelsey felt the gentle rays first, the touch of warmth against her cheeks as his fingers slid into her hair. And then light blazed behind her eyelids as he kissed her.
Heat poured through her, starting where his mouth brushed against hers then spreading out to all parts of her body, all the way down to her tingling fingertips and toes. Just when he’d left her knees weak and her willpower completely shaken, he eased away, ending the kiss slowly, reluctantly. “I want to see you tomorrow.”
“I can’t—”
“Kelsey.”
“Not because of, well, anything. I’m busy tomorrow.”
“With your shop?”
Kelsey shook her head regretfully. “The shop will have to wait a few days. I’m meeting Emily for brunch, and then we’re going shopping for bridesmaids’ gifts. Assuming that doesn’t take all day, I have to meet with a friend who’s putting together an audiovisual presentation for the reception.”
“What time?”
“In the afternoon.”
“Dunworthy has a meeting set up for tomorrow at six. Interested in another stakeout?”
Kelsey forced herself not to look over at the Mustang. The vehicle had somehow turned into so much more than a simple car. It was a physical reminder of Connor’s past with Emily. A past Kelsey wasn’t sure she could ignore. “Do I even want to know how you came across the information?”
“Nothing illegal. I got it the old-fashioned way. I overheard a conversation he was having on his cell phone.” Connor frowned. “Well, I guess the cell phone part isn’t old-fashioned, but the eavesdropping was.”
“It could be nothing. A dead end like the other day.”
“Could be. Wanna find out?” His eyebrows rose in exaggerated challenge, and Kelsey couldn’t say no.
“See you tomorrow.”
Kelsey knew she should open the door and step inside instead of gazing after Connor like a lovesick teenager, but she couldn’t tear her gaze away as he walked down her driveway to the car.
He turned back before she had the chance to duck indoors, seeming unsurprised to find her staring after him. “There’s something you should know, Kelsey. I might have kissed your cousin in this car. But I never slept with her.”
“In the car?”
His lips kicked up in a smile, but the look in his eyes was completely serious. “Or anywhere else.”
Chapter Eight
The next afternoon, standing in her sun-filled kitchen, Kelsey poured steaming black coffee into a thermal mug. She’d tossed and turned most of the night, her sleep plagued by dreams. Even now, she was haunted by images of gliding down an endless, rose-strewn runner toward her groom—toward Connor—only to watch, helpless, as he smiled his devastating smile and walked away with Emily.
“It’s just a stupid dream,” she muttered, as if speaking the words aloud might give them more strength. “I’m not marrying Connor. I’m not falling for Connor.”
So she’d had temporary a lapse of judgment, of sanity. She’d been caught in the moment—the restaurant’s party atmosphere, the sexy rhythm of the music that had seeped into her soul and pulsed in her veins…
Oh, who are you kidding? an all-too-knowing voice demanded. She hadn’t been caught up in the moment; she’d been caught up in the man.
Maybe she should ask Emily how she’d dated Connor for months without sleeping with him. Although Emily never divulged intimate details, Kelsey assumed they had made love. Now that she’d met Connor, it seemed even harder to believe Emily—or any woman—could resist.
Knowing now that Emily had resisted made Kelsey wonder if her cousin’s feelings for Connor were as strong as she’d once believed, or if Connor was right and Emily had only been using him. What was it he’d said—he was Emily’s lone act of rebellion? But even if that were true, it didn’t necessarily change his feelings. Maybe coming back wasn’t about picking up where they’d left off, but about finally taking that relationship further.
Her stomach felt more than a little sick at the thought, and she thrust the glass pot back into the machine, grabbed the to-go lid and slapped it onto the mug. But her aim must have been slightly off, and the cup tipped, splashing coffee over the countertop.
Gasping, Kelsey dove for a manila envelope lying nearby, snatching it out of the way of the java flood. She clutched the package to her chest with a relieved sigh. Emily’s life in pictures filled the envelope, most dating back to the days prior to digital CDs.
Kelsey shuddered at the thought of telling her aunt she’d ruined the photos of Emily’s first piano recital, first ballet, first play. She had to get back in control. Her near destruction of the photographs was a small symptom of a larger problem.
She was letting Connor get under her skin.
She’d taken possession of her own shop the day before, the realization of a dream that sometimes seemed as old as she was. Her thoughts should have been consumed by plans for polishing the place until it shined, expanding her nonexistent advertising budget, hiring the support staff Lisa had mentioned.
Instead Connor filled her thoughts and her dreams, and was far too close to edging his way into her heart. Was this how her mother felt when she met her father? Kelsey wondered. Had Donnie Mardell become more important to Olivia than her own hopes and dreams? More important than her own family?
Kelsey forced herself not to panic. Surely she wou
ldn’t make that big a mistake, not with her mother’s life as an example. How many times had Olivia warned Kelsey to rely on herself and not to risk leaning on someone who would let her down in the end?
“Wilson women against the world,” Kelsey murmured, the familiar motto calming her as she set the envelope safely aside and unrolled a swath of paper towels.
The sudden sound of the doorbell caught her off guard. She didn’t have time for unexpected guests any more than she had time for unexpected doubts. Dropping the paper towels over the spilled coffee, she headed toward the front door as the bell pealed again. After a quick glance through the peephole, Kelsey pulled the door open.
As if her thoughts had somehow conjured him out of thin air, Connor leaned against the doorway. How was it that he looked better every time she saw him? Was it because she now knew his shoulders were as strong as they looked? How solid his chest had felt beneath her hands? How his hair had felt like warm silk against her fingers? And how his mouth had worked magic against her own?
“Hey, Kelsey,” he said before striding inside.
Trailing after him as if he owned the place and she was the uninvited guest, she asked, “What are you doing here?”
He stopped to face her, a frown replacing his cocky smile. “I thought you were coming with me. Todd’s meeting, remember?”
“That’s not until six,” she protested as she walked into the kitchen to the mess she’d left behind.
“What happened in here?”
As much as she would have liked to lay the blame at Connor’s feet, she said, “Don’t ask.” She balled up the soggy paper towels, groaning at the coffee-colored stain left behind on her beige Formica, and tossed them into the trash. She grabbed the envelope of photographs and her purse and brushed by Connor on the way to the door.
“I have to meet my friend about the audio-video presentation for the reception, remember?”
Connor shrugged. “So we go there first and stake out the meeting after.”
She should say no. She should keep him far, far away, and not just because of the havoc he might wreak on Emily’s wedding. “I’m already running late.” As a flat-out denial, the words fell short.
Once Upon a Wedding Page 12
