Jerry took the bulk of Graham’s weight and angled that direction.
Kate was impressed by Graham’s apparent motor control. His legs were at least going through the motions. “How about a bath? Compromise. Then I won’t have to worry about you falling.”
He shook his head. “I’ve never had a bath in my life. Not starting today. I’ll manage.”
Jerry chuckled. “Can’t blame you there.”
Eliza rolled her eyes. “You’re not helping, dear.”
He laughed again. “The man wants to take a shower. There’s a bench seat in there and a removable nozzle. I’m sure he’ll figure things out.”
“See?” Graham lifted his brows at Kate as Jerry lowered him to the toilet seat.
It was oddly awkward for all four of them, two sets of complete strangers, to be standing in the bathroom together.
Eliza opened the linen closet and grabbed a large towel, which she draped on a hook next to the shower door. Then she grabbed her husband’s arm and tugged him from the room. “Come on. Let’s let them get settled. Please let me know if you need anything at all.” Eliza shut the bathroom door and seconds later Kate heard the door to the master suite also shutting.
Kate checked the shower. There was shampoo and soap inside. Then she turned toward Graham. “Seriously, this is crazy.” She pointed at the tub. “The bathtub even has jets. Why don’t you relax in there awhile?”
He reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her closer. When he had her between his legs, he set his hands intimately on her hips and tipped his head back. “I’ll be fine, Kate. My legs are rushing to catch up with the program.”
“I don’t want you to fall. A trip to the emergency room would totally blow our cover.” She set her hands on his shoulders. “Let me help. Please.”
“Are you trying to get me naked?” he teased, giving her body a slight shake. “Cause the idea is enticing, but I’m not strong enough to take that kind of step yet.”
A flush rushed up her cheeks and she glanced away from him. She could get used to this new less shy version of Graham, but it still shocked her every time he spoke to her like that. And she had no idea if he was referring to mental or physical strength. Or both.
He was chuckling under his breath as he pulled her even closer. “I love the way you get all flustered. I wouldn’t have pegged you as quite so…”
“Prudish,” she offered as she tipped her head back down to meet his gaze again.
He shrugged. “I’m not sure that’s the right word. Prudish is a word I would use for a sour old maid.”
“Yeah, well…” No way was she going to point out that she might not be sour or old but she was seriously lacking in the relationship department.
“Come on. You’ve always been a confident woman with your head held high. Outgoing. Funny. Friendly. If anything, I was the one who could barely string a sentence together. Ever since we established a mutual attraction existed, you’ve taken a step back. Sometimes I catch you staring at me in a way that makes me wish I were about three more weeks into this recovery, and other times you glance away, cheeks red, bottom lip between your teeth. Flustered. I’m really new to this and I’m having trouble reading you.”
“Good. I like to keep you on your toes.” It made her nervous that he read her so well. She was outgoing, funny, and friendly. But that was before she was faced with a man who seemingly was attracted to her. Now, she felt tongue-tied, awkward, and self-conscious instead. It was as if the two of them had reversed roles.
He twisted her words. “As soon as I can get steady on my toes, I’m going to want to explore this further.”
“And that brings us full circle,” she said to change the subject. “You’re not yet steady enough to stand in the shower, Graham. I don’t want you to fall.”
“Compromise. You help me get inside. I’ll sit on the bench seat. You hand me everything I’ll need. And then you leave the bathroom until I call you back.”
She eyed him, knowing it was the best she was going to get. “Okay, but please don’t try to be a hero. I’ve seen you naked. It won’t kill you to let me help if you get started and figure out you need assistance.”
“Promise. Go get your suitcase and stuff and move us into the room while I shower.”
She stiffened. “I’m not staying in this room with you. I’ll take the one next door.”
He swallowed. “I’d rather you stayed in this room with me.”
“Graham…” No way in hell was she sleeping in the same bed as him. It was hard enough keeping her head on straight when she was in the same room. It was nearly impossible to think when he held her close like this. Sleep in the same bed? Not a chance.
“You’ve been sleeping in the same room as me for a month.” He gave her hips a slight shake.
“That was different. You were unconscious and I had a cot.”
“Well, now I’m far less boring and you have a bed. Think how much more comfortable it will be.”
“Yep. Down the hall.”
He shook her again. Where he was getting this strength, she had no idea. No way could she have sat upright as long as he had today and had the energy to grip anyone like he did on her third day awake. It was also an indication that he probably could take a shower alone without difficulty.
Which meant the clock was ticking. Soon he would want to start exploring this thing between them on a physical level.
Of course, who was she kidding? Her body came to attention every time she was near him. And when she wasn’t near him too. And when he touched her and held her close. Was she ready for this?
It had only been a day since they determined they had been attracted to each other before preservation. Now they were moving at warp speed toward a relationship she wasn’t entirely sure she was ready to face.
She’d had three months to consider her attraction for him. He’d had three days. Three days wasn’t enough time for anyone to be so certain of something this important.
Could his attraction be trusted under these extreme circumstances?
Maybe if she was another sort of woman, she could rush forward and claim this prize. But she wasn’t. She was the sort of woman who needed to be sure before she was all in. He didn’t know that about her, and she had rationalized that she had plenty of time to tell him. But his clock was running much faster than anticipated.
Her body’s reaction was nudging her toward him. She loved it when he touched her so intimately. She wanted to know what it would feel like to give herself completely to a man.
He was tempting her and teasing her because he didn’t have all the facts, and she was too embarrassed to blurt out the truth yet. What she did know was that she would be devastated if she slept with him and then he left her.
People did that sort of thing. Most people did. Few women in her position would turn down a gorgeous, intelligent, sexy man who was offering her what she knew instinctively would be the most amazing thing she would ever experience. But she’d gone twenty-seven years without giving it away, and she wasn’t about to throw that conviction in the trash now.
Call her crazy, but she wanted the world. And she wanted it with one person. She wasn’t about to sleep with Graham while they were staying in this safe house. Certainly not before she admitted to him that she had no experience. She didn’t want to blindside him. Her conviction was personal, and she needed to find a way to tell him. But definitely not until she was sure he felt as strongly about her as she did him. “I’m not sharing a bed with you,” she repeated, her voice too soft and lacking vehemence.
“Are you worried about Jerry and Eliza? Cause they don’t strike me as the sort of people who are going to question the status of two grown adults under their roof. They aren’t even going to know what our sleeping arrangements are. I doubt they will even come down the hallway to this wing of the house again until after we’ve left.”
She cleared her throat. “I’m not worried about the Kobricks. Just…no. Stop badgering me.”
He furrowed h
is brow, impressing her with his determination. Meanwhile, he toyed with the hem of her shirt between his fingers, a sign that this discussion pushed him a little out of his comfort zone. His determination was also an attractive attribute.
Even though the man she’d fallen for had been shy and reserved, she wouldn’t want him to spend his life standing meekly beside her. He didn’t back down. Impressive. “Give me something here, Kate. It’s just a bed. It’s not like I’m going to maul you. I’m not even sure all my body parts are receiving messages from my brain yet. I don’t want you down the hall. What if I need you?”
She was certain he threw that last question in to get under her skin. She rolled her eyes, even though inside she was caving. “If you can shower alone, you can surely sleep alone.”
He shook his head. “I’m certain I can, but I’d rather not be alone.” His next words made her knees nearly buckle. His voice dipped to a softer, serious tone. “Kate, we spent three years skirting around each other because neither of us had the guts to admit our feelings. We’re not wasting another minute playing that game. We’ve been given a second chance at life. I want to seize it. I want you next to me. Please.”
She swallowed. How could she argue with that logic? He had reached into her heart and squeezed it. “Okay.” It was just sleep. She could share a bed with him to sleep. He hadn’t suggested they have sex. Right?
He smiled slowly as if slightly surprised she’d given in. “Thank you. Now, we’re totally going to have another discussion about your hesitation later, but right now I’m going to shower, and you’re going to go get your things.” He eased her away from him a few inches.
She turned to his side as he put his arm around her shoulders and helped him to his feet. He had far more strength in his legs than she would expect, so it only took a few moments to get him in the shower. Fully clothed. Apparently he intended to handle everything from there.
She did, however, bend down and silently remove his shoes. If he objected to that minor assistance, she might growl at him. After setting them outside the shower, she stood.
“I’m good. I’ll yell if I need you.”
She held his gaze for a moment and then stepped out of the enclosure and left the room. When she had the door shut, she leaned against it and took a deep breath. This thing between them was happening fast. She needed to wrap her mind around it and figure out a way to respond.
This new Graham was determined and sure of himself, but underneath the more confident exterior, she could still sense the man she’d known for three years. The more timid one. The one who fiddled with the hem of her shirt nervously while asking her not to leave him alone.
Sure, he had more confidence. After all, she’d made it easy for him by admitting she’d been into him since she met him. Even though his nervous tension still showed through, at least her admission had given him a boost of self-assurance.
She needed to find her voice.
One thing she felt confident about was that Graham would be polite about her revelation. He might think she was odd, but he wouldn’t make her feel like some sort of virginal unicorn.
There were only two possible outcomes from admitting her lack of experience to him. One, he would accept and honor her convictions, which would make her a lot less stressed around him. Or two, he would think she was too prudish to bother with and back off. If he did, he wasn’t worth it.
Chapter 10
Graham closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, trying to pull some strength from someplace deep inside him that was totally depleted. He’d used every ounce of his energy trying to be stronger than he was, but after the trip in the SUV and then sitting on the sofa and making his way to this shower, he was empty.
And yet, he needed to find a way to get these clothes off and bathe. So, he tugged his shirt over his head and then lifted one hip and then the other to shrug out of his pants.
He was seriously frustrated as he leaned forward to grab the handheld showerhead and flip on the water. He held the spray away from his body until it got hot, and then he ran the warm water down his body for the first time in ten years.
Of course, it didn’t seem like ten years to him. It seemed like three days, but three days was a long time to wash himself with a sponge and a bowl of water. A problem he created for himself when he stubbornly refused to let Kate bathe him.
Perhaps he was being irrational, but every time he pictured her running a washcloth all over his body, he shuddered. For one thing, it unmanned him. For another thing, he would either grow painfully aroused from her touch or worse—not have enough sensation yet to get aroused at all.
Judging by his reactions to her every time she’d been close—but especially fifteen minutes ago while he’d held her between his legs—he didn’t have to worry about the functionality of anything below the waist. Everything was in working order.
He smirked at himself now as he glanced down and then took himself in hand and gently stroked from bottom to top and back down. Yeah, everything functioned just fine. Granted, the only hand that had ever touched his erection was his own, but as he closed his eyes and visualized Kate stroking him with her hand, or her mouth, or her tight warmth… Damn. He shuddered. None of those things had ever happened to him before, but he was beyond certain experience wasn’t necessary in that department.
It took him longer than he would have liked, but eventually he was clean, hair and body. He turned off the water and grabbed the towel. Drying off and getting out of this enclosure was going to be a challenge.
Two seconds later there was a knock at the door and Kate spoke from the other side. “You okay?”
“Yep.”
“Can I come in?”
“Not yet.”
“I swear to God, Graham, if you try to stand alone, I will personally strap you to this bed and not let you get up again for a week.”
He straightened his spine at her choice of words. He’d also been toweling his hair, but he stopped mid-stroke, eyes wide. It took several seconds before he could continue, and then he hastily wiped himself off and managed to lift his ass enough to slide the towel under him and wrap it around his waist.
“Can I come in yet?”
“You’re so impatient. Yes.”
She opened the door, eyeing him skeptically before relaxing. “Good. You didn’t move.”
“See? I can be a good patient.”
She chuckled as she stepped into the shower, slid her hands under his arms, and helped him up.
As soon as he was standing, he wrapped his arms around her and both held her against him and leaned into her. At six feet, he was seven inches taller than her, so he rested his chin on her head as he spoke. “Just so we’re clear, at no point in this relationship will you be strapping me to anything.”
She giggled and then tipped her head back to meet his gaze. “You sure? It might be fun.”
He lifted a brow. “Oh, I’m super-sure. If anyone’s getting tied down, it will have to be you, if you like that sort of thing.” He winced. “Jesus, that sounded cheesy. I have no game when it comes to lines. Unless, I mean, do you like that sort of thing?”
She shook her head. “I don’t see that happening, but in your weakened state, I’m not sure you could stop me from immobilizing you if I need to.”
From some strange store of energy he shouldn’t have been able to produce, he managed to turn both of them forty-five degrees so that her back was to the wall, and he flattened her to it, his entire body pressing against hers. He lifted one hand to thread it up into her hair and tipped her head back again. “Do I seem weak to you?”
She visibly swallowed, eyes wide, face pale. And then she shook her head. “Irrationally, no.”
God, he wanted her. He was in no way strong enough to think such thoughts, but it seemed like after years of pent-up frustration over her, now that the dam had broken, his libido had kicked into overdrive, and an urgency to fully claim her had taken ahold of him. His virginity was about to come to an end,
as soon as he could hold himself up…and maybe walk.
The urgency wasn’t rational. She wasn’t going anywhere. She’d made it clear that she’d also lusted after him for years. But for some reason, he felt like she wasn’t fully his. She still had this hesitation that lingered on the edges. It bothered him. He needed to talk to her about it. Was her reluctance born from something he’d said or done?
He needed to show her how good they could be together. Erase her doubts. He wanted to do that with his mouth on every inch of her body. He wanted to make that hesitation on her face disappear. But he also wasn’t strong enough yet.
“Let’s get you to the bedroom,” she murmured, her voice deeper than usual. She squirmed against the shower wall. “I’m soaked.”
“Bummer.” He didn’t move yet. He wasn’t done holding her like this. So close. So intimately. What parts of her were soaked?
“Graham…”
He finally eased back a few inches, and she wiggled around to his side and helped him out of the shower.
He clasped the towel at his waist with one hand to keep it from falling and draped his other arm around her shoulders.
It took several minutes and a lot of resting to get his legs to carry him all the way to the bedroom and over to the bed. When he finally got there, she tugged back the comforter, and he dropped onto his back, breathing far too heavily for a trip across the room—a combination of the effort it cost him and the arousal he felt.
Graham was working hard to tuck the introverted, timid, shy version of himself out of sight. A man who hadn’t been able to make eye contact with a woman, especially Kate, for thirty-five years. In his place was a man who wanted this woman with every ounce of his being. He realized he couldn’t fully transform his personality, but he found the will to put himself out there. For her. For them. For the possibility of a future he never dreamed might exist for him.
He watched her moving around the room, and prayed she wouldn’t notice the tent between his legs that pushed the towel away from his body. Or maybe he didn’t care if she saw it.
Reviving Graham Page 9
