He stared down at her for a moment, trying to read her. Yeah, she was checked out, though he wasn’t sure why or what to do about it. “Driving. Trade seats with me.”
She nodded and left him standing there without argument.
As soon as they were both buckled in, he pulled away from the gas station and headed for the address Dade had texted him. It was about twenty minutes north, and when Graham pulled off the road, he found a beat-up older model Chevy waiting for them next to an abandoned barn.
“What is this place?” Kate murmured.
“No idea. Probably just an easy spot to meet someone without getting caught. Wait here.” He climbed out of the car, left the door open, and headed for the man who shoved off his vehicle as Graham approached.
The guy nodded at Graham, but he didn’t say a word. Instead, he took quick strides toward the Toyota and started examining the entire body. He pulled a device from his pocket and scanned the exterior along the bottom. “Can you pop the hood and the trunk for me?” he asked.
Graham reached inside and did as the man requested. The only reason why Graham didn’t bolt was because he trusted Dade. But this guy was an odd bird.
He looked like he’d been working on cars for his entire life without taking frequent showers. His fingernails were black. He had on worn coveralls that might have been khaki at some point. His hair was long, but pulled back in a ponytail at the nape of his neck. Graham guessed him to be about sixty.
After about two minutes, the guy reached under the hood and lifted something out, holding it up for Graham to see. “Tracker. You’re good now,” he stated matter-of-factly, as if he found GPS devices on cars every day and didn’t even feel victorious about it.
Graham shuddered. “Jesus. Did it record us?”
“Nope. Just a tracker.” The guy shut the hood. “I’ll dispose of this for you.” He tapped the hood with his hand. “Get moving before someone tracks us here.”
Graham nodded and slid back into the driver’s seat. He pulled out without a word and drove a bit faster than he normally would to put some distance between them and that fucking tracker.
Kate had pulled even further into herself, her arms wrapped around her middle, her lips pursed.
Graham drove for half an hour before he got another text from Dade. Another address. He didn’t even question it or speak. He simply typed it into the car’s GPS and took the next exit to head in the direction of the address.
Kate didn’t ask what he was doing or where he was going, and she was making him more nervous by the minute.
There was nothing he could do but drive and get them to this address as quickly as possible, and then he intended to pin her down and figure out what the hell was going on in her head.
It took another hour to get to their destination. They had left the highway several miles ago and turned about four times, each road getting progressively sketchier until at last they were on a gravel drive that led to a lodge.
Kate spoke for the first time since they’d left the gas station. “Where are we?”
“No idea. I’ll go inside and figure it out.” As he stepped out of the car, he decided it might be a vacation spot for fishermen or hunters or something. The lodge was large enough to have at least a dozen rooms inside. Like a hotel.
He entered the front door and headed for the check in area. An older woman behind the desk met his gaze and smiled. “Graham?”
He startled. “Yes.”
She held out a key. “You’re in cabin six behind the main lodge. If you head around to the left, you can’t miss it. It’s been stocked with food for a few days.”
For some reason, he was stunned. “Thank you.” He took the key, still looking at her, surmising she was the owner of this lodge and the outbuildings and also worked for SURVIVE. “We appreciate it.”
She nodded and turned to help the next customer who’d entered behind him.
Five minutes later, Graham had steered them around the building and down a winding road until he found the marker for cabin six. It was isolated enough between the trees that each cabin was rather private.
Kate climbed out of the car and helped him grab their meager possessions from the trunk, and then they made their way onto the quaint front porch and into the cabin.
“Wow. Cute,” she whispered as she dropped the bag she was holding.
He set his down next to hers as he shut the door behind them and flipped on the lights. The cabin was nestled in the trees, so the lighting coming in the windows was dim. It was also getting close to evening, the sun dipping low in the sky. “You really have to enjoy the company of whoever you stay with in this cabin,” he joked.
She ignored him as she took several steps toward the center of the room. One room with a bathroom off to the right. Queen-sized bed. Kitchenette. Loveseat. Armchair. Fireplace. That was about it. But it was decorated by someone who loved trinkets and wall hangings. The owners had a lot of pride in their cabins.
Kate sighed. “I’m exhausted. I think I’ll take a shower if you don’t mind.” She turned around to grab her bag without looking at him and padded toward the only space in the room where anyone could get privacy.
He watched her, itching to grab her arm and dig into her brain, but deciding against it and letting her spend some time alone first.
For several minutes, he stared at the closed door, listening to the shower run, his heart in his hands as he feared what she would say when he finally shook it out of her.
He was head over heels for this woman. The last several hours had stressed him out more than he could imagine possible. He’d spent the time driving in silence, imagining the worst scenarios. All of them ended with her telling him to take a hike. That she’d changed her mind and didn’t want to be with him after all.
He was scared. Out of his mind.
Forcing himself to move, he finally checked out the refrigerator to see what kinds of provisions they had and then tucked his bag of clothes next to the bed. There wasn’t much else to do, so he was pacing the small space when she emerged.
She wore a tank top and shorts. Normally she dressed similarly for bed, but this time she had on a bra. And he wanted to read her thoughts. “How’s the shower?” he asked, instead of the dozens of other questions running through his mind.
“It’s good. I left you some hot water if you want.”
What I want is for you to look me in the eye and tell me what the hell is going on…
He was quick. Less than ten minutes later he stepped back out wearing nothing but his jeans. He hadn’t taken the time to shave, but she’d never seemed to mind in the past. In fact over the last ten days together he had only shaved a few times. After that first day when Kate had shaved him, he’d gone several more without and then done so himself. He hadn’t wanted to take the time tonight either.
He headed straight toward her where she stood at the sink in the kitchen area staring out the small window at probably nothing.
This had to end. Whatever was going on in her mind, he wanted to be let in. So he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back against his front. He angled his head around to kiss her temple. “Talk to me.”
She sighed, her chin dipping. “Sorry I’ve been so quiet.”
“You’re allowed to be quiet. It was a stressful day. I get it.”
He felt her swallow as she lifted her head and tipped it toward his cheek. “It was more than stressful, Graham. It was too much.”
“I get that. I’ve never been tied up by two madmen waving guns in my face before. It was intense.”
She twisted in his arms, giving him a bit of a shove so that he had to step back. “Intense doesn’t even begin to describe this day. Those men could have killed you.”
He held her biceps even though several inches separated them now. “I don’t think they intended to kill me. They wanted the data.”
“They had guns,” she shouted. “They shot at Tushar. They shot at me. I had to shoot one of them. Tushar had to ki
ll them.”
He nodded. “Okay. I mean, you’re right. It wasn’t the sort of day I want to repeat.”
“Yeah, that’s just it. I don’t want to repeat it either. Ever.”
Where was she going with this? That morning she had been soft and smiling and seemed eager to take their relationship to the next level. Now? It was as if she blamed him for what happened and didn’t want anything to do with him. “Kate? What’s going on?” Fear crawled up his spine, the kind of fear anyone would feel when they suspected the person they loved was about to break up with them.
“Nothing.” She squirmed free. “I just realized this isn’t going to work. I’m sorry. I thought…” She bit her bottom lip and turned back to face the window. “I’m sorry,” she repeated, softer.
He struggled to speak, his mouth opening but no sound coming out because he didn’t know how to respond. He only knew he needed to get this back on the tracks before she destroyed him in exactly the way she’d worried he had the ability to destroy her. “What’s not going to work?”
“Us.” One word. One horrifying word that made his knees buckle. What the hell had he done today to change her mind about them?
“Kate…” He fisted his hands at his sides, still standing right behind her but not touching her. “Did I do something?”
“No,” she blurted, spinning toward him again, her head shaking. “No. God, no. You didn’t do anything. I just realized we aren’t on the same page.”
He felt faint. “How did you decide that? We’ve been on the same page almost from the moment I woke up. The same page. The same paragraph. The same sentence. What changed?”
She blew out a breath, and he knew everything between them was about to implode.
Chapter 18
Now that the dam was open, Kate needed to get this all out before she got weak and caved. “I saw how furious and determined you were today. And you have every right to be. I don’t disagree. But I lost the will to keep going when bullets started racing past my head. I don’t want this life anymore.”
The expression on his face made her resolve weaken. Shock. Confusion. Pain. She was hurting him in exactly the way she’d hoped to avoid feeling herself. Hell, she felt exactly the way he looked too. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She’d intentionally guarded her heart so that this could never happen.
Taking a breath, she continued to explain. “You obviously need to get to Montana and help Dade and the rest of the team fight the bad guys and save the day. I thought I could do it. I thought I wanted that too. But every day feels like a game of Russian roulette. I’m tired. I want out. Maybe that makes me disloyal to the team, but I want to go home.
“I want to see my parents and my sister and my niece. I want to sleep for two weeks and eat my mom’s cooking and watch old movies and read those romance novels I’ve never had time for.”
She stepped around him, trying to put a few feet between them. His proximity was killing her. She forced herself to meet his gaze. “I don’t want to duck from bullets and hide and worry and stress and chase after bad guys. I’m a doctor, not a secret agent.”
“So what? You’re just going to leave?” His words slammed into her as he took a step forward. “Walk away from me because you’re scared?”
She licked her lips. “Yes.”
He shook his head. “Yeah, see, it doesn’t work like that.”
Her eyes widened in shock.
He continued. “I understand you’re scared. Fuck, I’m scared. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. Or the next day or the day after that or next month. But we still have to get up in the morning and face each day.” He inched closer to her, making her nervous.
She’d spent the last several hours convincing herself they couldn’t continue this farce because he needed to go to Montana and fight the bad guys, and she needed to get out of this situation and hide from the world. They weren’t on the same path.
His proximity made her want to slam against his body instead and absorb his strength. His scent. She wanted his hands on her back, holding her. Making things feel right.
But it was a bad idea. She needed to break this thing between them off so they could go their separate ways. He could take his newfound strength and determination to Montana. She could take her fear and exhaustion to Georgia and hide from the world.
Graham rubbed his forehead with his thumb and forefinger. “Kate, you have every right to be scared.”
She stood taller. “I also have every right to head in a different direction. I don’t want to go to Montana and fight bad guys. You do.”
He shook his head. “And you get to singlehandedly make this decision for the both of us without talking to me?”
She jerked back a step, feeling like she’d been slapped. “I’m not making any decisions for you. I’m simply pointing out our differences.”
“Kate, you’re standing there telling me how I feel. You’re not giving me an opportunity to respond. You didn’t even ask me how I felt. You decided several hours ago to end this relationship based on something you didn’t ask me about.”
“Fine. Do you want to go to Montana?” she asked with as much snark as she could fit into those words, hands on her hips.
His shoulders dropped and he ran a hand through his hair, but she had to give him credit for not losing his temper with her. “That’s not the point.”
“Isn’t it?”
“Not even close.” He dropped his hand and reached out to grab her around the waist before she knew his intention. And then he was holding her against his body. Bad idea.
She couldn’t think when he held her. She opened her mouth to protest, but he set a finger over her lips. “Just listen to me. Please. If you still want to walk away from us after I finish, I won’t stop you, but I want you to hear me out first.”
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, his fingers still distracting her against her lips. Finally, she nodded subtly.
“Thank you.” He backed her up so that her butt rested against the counter, trapping her. Her resolve crumbled when he crowded her like that. She wanted to pull his face down to meet hers. She wanted him to kiss her. Which was totally irrational while she was trying to end things.
Graham’s hands slid to her waist, his hips pressing against hers. “I think you’re trying to sabotage this relationship because you’re scared.”
She flinched. “Of course not. As I’ve told you before, the reason I didn’t let things escalate into a relationship was because I wanted to be certain we were compatible in every way before I took that leap.”
He chuckled, which annoyed her. “You’re saying this isn’t a relationship? Because that’s horseshit. And you know it. You think just because we haven’t had sex it’s not a relationship? I’ve never in my life been this deeply involved with a woman. We don’t have to have sex for me to be as dedicated as humanly possible to this relationship.
“I know it was fast and intense, but I’m in love with you. So, don’t try to convince yourself we aren’t in a relationship.”
She stopped breathing. Did he just say he was in love with me?
He grinned. “You heard me. I’m in love with you. And furthermore, you’re in love with me. I see it in your eyes every time you look at me. Even today, for as hard as you’ve tried to back away from me, you haven’t hidden your feelings. You just avoided looking at me. But when you do, you can’t hide your emotions.”
She swallowed. He was right. She was in love with him. But that didn’t mean they could make things work if they wanted two different paths.
“You’re scared. Hell, I’m scared. I’m not an expert with women as I’ve made more than clear. I don’t want to fuck this up. I want to get it right as badly as you do. I want it to be perfect. I want you to have that fairy tale you’re determined to live. And I will spend my entire life making that happen because you’re worth it.”
Holy shit. “But…”
He shook his head. “I’m not done. You don’t get to ste
p away from me just because we got shot at. We’re a couple. We have to talk things out and help each other through the difficult times. We may not always have the same ideas, but we’ll work things out.”
“We have very different ideas this time, Graham. Too different.”
He shook his head. “You’re wrong.”
“How the hell am I wrong?” Her voice lifted. “I don’t want to go to Montana with you.”
His hands slid up her body until he held her shoulders. “You’re wrong because you matter more to me than a destination or a job or even another person. And I know I matter that much to you too. So we’re going to discuss this difference of opinion as a couple and make a plan we can both live with. Together.
“We’re not separating over something as ridiculous as geography or a job. I love you more than any job or any state. Don’t you get that?” His hands moved up to her face now, cupping her cheeks. Holding her steady as he stared into her eyes.
“Yes,” she whispered at last. Because he was right.
He lifted a brow, another slow smile forming. And then he blew out a breath. “Okay. Progress.” His fingers smoothed up the side of her face and brushed a lock of hair off her forehead. “You’re scared.”
“Petrified.” Her bottom lip trembled. “People shot at us.”
“They did.”
“We could have died.”
“I know, Kate.”
“I already died once. I want to go home.” Her voice was weak. Exhausted.
“I get that.”
She was shaking now, but she set her hands on his waist and gripped his jeans. “Your adrenaline was pumping hard afterward. There were two dead men on the floor, and you were hell bent to get to Montana to fight a war while I was standing there thinking I wanted to get as far away from Montana as humanly possible.”
He kissed her forehead. “I know. I did get a little GI Joe there for a while, but you have to believe me when I say that everything in this relationship is negotiable for the rest of our lives. We talk. Share. Discuss. Argue sometimes. But we’re not splitting apart. Because at the end of the day the only thing that matters to me in the whole world is you and making sure you’re happy.”
Reviving Graham Page 18
