by Seth King
But just as I start to twitch, he reaches over and grips my cock.
“What?” I ask.
“Don’t cum yet. I’m going to edge you.”
“Edge me?”
“Just wait.”
He leans in and kisses me as he jacks me. Just as I get close again, he grips the base of my shaft, holding back the orgasm.
“Edging,” he says I stare at him. “I get you close to the edge, then stop. It’ll make your orgasm more intense.”
“By all means, take the reins…”
He does it once more, then twice. Every time, the buildup gets more intense. Fuck, I never even knew this was a thing…
On maybe the sixth or seventh time, I can’t hold back anymore, and the dam breaks. I cum all over his hand, but he grips me again, breaking the orgasm in half, and making the second portion the most mind-blowing thing of my life.
When I’m done, he finishes himself off. By the end of it all, we’re both collapsed against my pillows again, spent and trembling.
“God,” he sighs. “I could maybe get used to this…”
“Tell me about it. Just…yeah.”
He runs off to the bathroom to put away the toy and clean up, and when he returns, I’ve already got the bed situated for him.
“Wait. You want me to sleep over?”
“Of course I do. And don’t put on any clothes, please. I want you naked.”
Joshua hesitates, then drops his shoulders and closes the door behind him. He nestles up against me.
“The fall festival,” I say.
“Hm?”
“The fall festival. That’s the first time I really, really wanted to talk to you. I remember. You came home late, all sweaty and tanned and…well, hot, in a tank top and short shorts. I pretended I was watching something on my laptop on the couch, but nothing was playing in my headphones. I wanted to talk to you, but I didn’t know what to say. And when you finally went to my room, I held my breath until I couldn’t hear you anymore.”
He gives me a groggy shove. “Silly man. You should’ve just said something.”
“I didn’t know how. You’re somewhat intimidating, Joshua. Aren’t you, like, really smart?”
“How would you know that?” he asks.
“Overheard it at school, I think. And it’s not hard to tell.”
“I didn’t know you were listening in for facts on me…silly man,” he repeats with a yawn.
“I listen, kid. I pay attention.”
I wait for a response, but he’s starting to fall asleep. I run my hands through his hair and smile.
“Happy Halloween,” I smile, but he is already drifting off.
I swallow my lip, which is swollen and raw from all the kissing. Right now, I am sure that this is right, and that everything we did tonight was pure and correct and good.
But what in the world will we do when we wake up, and the holiday magic is over, and we’re back to just being roommates again?
I try to sleep, but I can’t.
And soon I realize what I need to do. For him. To prove this wasn’t all some crazy sex proposition. Because whatever happens, I want him to think more of me than that.
So I get up and get to work.
Josh Nash
When I wake from my post-sex knockout, I am against him. It’s probably four or five. He’s watching Hocus Pocus, smiling at his laptop screen.
I look around.
I still can’t believe I’m in his room.
I still can’t believe last night happened. Or…last night and this morning, or whatever you want to call it. Because we definitely fooled around well past midnight, and more.
Outside the window, it finally looks like Halloween – browned leaves are being whipped across the parking lot by the wind, and the moon is brighter than ever. It makes me think of my last Halloween with my brother, when the weather was crisp like this, and I smile.
I narrow my eyes to study a family photo on Harry’s dresser. His mother is beautiful, in a structured nineties-style business suit and with flowing dark-blonde hair, but something about her looks very icy. His father’s face is plainer than Harry’s, but he is tall and well-dressed and holds himself in a way that makes him look incredibly imposing. Little Harry is forced between them, and they are propping him forward like he is more of a pet than a child.
Well, sheesh. With parents like that, no wonder Harry has the social skills of a clam in cold water…
“So,” he says, and I jump a little.
“Hi. Why are you awake?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” he smiles.
“Ha. And look at who’s the Halloween freak now,” I say, motioning at the movie.
“Hey, it’s playing for the last time of the season, thought I’d take advantage of it before it gets taken out of rotation.”
I frown. “Please don’t talk about seasons ending right now. Not yet.”
His face sad, he nods and caresses my leg.
“I have a gift for you,” he says.
“What?”
“It’s nothing huge, trust me. Just call it a little end-of-Halloween special. Didn’t even cost me anything, actually. I stole one of the pumpkins from the neighbors’ autumn display, sorry, they had like nine, they won’t miss it.”
“…Seriously, what are you talking about?”
He gets up, and I notice he’s wearing boxers now. He heads toward the living room, then returns with something in his arms.
I just blink. He’s carved a pumpkin for me. The words FOR MARTIN are carved out in beautiful script, glowing from the candle he lit inside.
“I…don’t know what to say. You woke up and did this?”
“Never slept, actually. Too busy thinking of what we did, to be frank. Too wired.”
“Still don’t know what to say…this was the best Halloween I’ve had since…since…well, you know.”
“Don’t speak, then. Just kiss me.”
And I do.
For probably ten minutes.
“But yeah,” he says when he finally pulls away. “I just wanted to make sure you felt him here with you.”
I scratch my head. “It’s the craziest thing, but I kind of do feel him? I’m serious. I was thinking it when I woke up.”
“Like, in a paranormal sense?”
“No, it’s hard to explain. Sometimes, when you lose a person, you just feel closer to them at certain points.” I cup my hand around my mouth to form a megaphone. “So if you’re here, sorry for the sex, brother! You’re welcome to hang out with us anytime. But if you do happen to sweep in at a bad moment and see anything weird, please just look away! By the way, I’m gay, in case you didn’t know before.”
~
I fall asleep again. After what feels like an eternity later, I am awoken by a loud banging sound on the front door. I open my eyes to see mid-morning light streaming in through Harry’s window. He’s asleep now, dead asleep – but not for long.
“What’s all that?” he asks soon, rubbing my back and looking at me in the mirror.
“Hold on, I’ll get it.”
I wrap myself in a throw blanket and open the front door.
And it is Corey. My ex-boyfriend.
I slide out of the foyer and close the door.
“What do you want?”
“You look skinny,” he says, looking down at me. I roll my eyes.
“Corey. What do you want?”
Finally he meets my gaze. “Get dressed, please. And sorry for being loud, I texted you like ten times and then knocked on the door forever, I figured you were passed out or something. But please come with me.”
“…What?”
“Look. I know I fucked everything up and left things on weird terms…come on, let me buy you a coffee or something at Six Pence, I need to talk, I can’t explain here.”
I stare. Six Pence was our special pub, for birthdays and such. Whatever this is, it’s big. What if he’s in a dark place, mentally speaking, and needs guidanc
e?
“What is…are you joking?”
“No, I need to talk, so please come.”
“Is there…is there an emergency?” I ask. “Are you okay?”
He shakes his head. “No, it’s nothing like that…Josh, I’ve been working myself up to do this for days, please just come with me before I make an ass of myself.”
“You already did,” I say to the floor.
“Josh. Please?”
I narrow my eyes. Once, during a low point, Corey told me that he was so upset over his situation with his parents, he sometimes felt suicidal urges. I would never be able to live with myself if I turned someone away who was experiencing…that, so I suck in some air and cover my chest more fully with the blanket.
“One hour. I’ll need to be back in one hour.”
“Fine with me.”
“Who’s driving?”
“I’ll take you there and bring you back,” he says. “I promise.”
“Let me change. Or, put on clothes, I mean. Hold on.”
“Okay.” I feel his hand on my shoulder as I turn. “And Josh?”
“Yes?”
“It’s good to see you.”
I pull away before I let myself say anything.
I sweep into the room, finding Harry awake and staring, then realize I have no clothes in here.
“Fuck, what am I doing…”
“What is it?” he asks, sitting up. “Who’s out there? I heard voices.”
Shit, how do I explain this…
“Hey. Can I borrow some clothes? Just a shirt and some shorts?”
“Of course, workout stuff is in the top left drawer. But why?”
I reach into the drawer and pull out a quick outfit, trying not to think about how strongly it all smells like Harry. “I’ll be back soon, okay? My ex is here.”
“Your ex? As in, Mr. Closet himself?”
“Shhh, he might be able to hear us!”
“Who cares? He broke your heart. Fuck his feelings.”
I roll my eyes. “Look, he’s in a rough spot and wants to talk, for some reason he wants to chat at the place where we had our first date, Six Pence, this pub downtown…”
“Wait,” he says, stunned.
“Yes?”
“You’re going to a bar? With your ex? To chat?”
“Harry, please stop. It’s not like that. He’s going through a lot with his family, and I promised that no matter what, I’d help guide him through his…you know, identity issues, forever. It’s my obligation. Anyway. I’m catching a ride with him – I’ll Uber home in an hour or so, okay?”
I grab my phone and slide on his sandals, which are two sizes too big.
And when I leave, he is still staring after me.
Harry Young
As I watch Joshua throw on the shorts and shirt I give him, I want to stop him. I want to beg him to stay. To avoid the mess his ex is about to drag him back into.
But I cannot say a word.
~
Soon I get confused. Then I get angry. How could he do this to me? After…whatever last night was, how could he just run out on me like this?
But then I realize…no, I’m not angry at him. He would never do this on purpose. I’ve seen him go out of his way to catch bugs with his fingers and let them outside, just to keep from killing them. All he’s doing is helping someone who needs it.
So I’m not angry at Joshua.
I’m angry at myself.
Holy fuck. What am I doing? Why did I let him leave so easily?
My mum always teased me by calling me the Absent-Minded Professor, and always told me I wouldn’t know what I wanted if it hit me in the face.
Last night, I didn’t exactly get hit in the face, but my palm did get hit by Joshua’s ass when he got shoved up against me – does it really take that much to show me what I already knew?
Apparently, yes. My mum was right all along.
So I send him a text:
Hey. Everything ok?!?
He opens it, starts to type, and then stops.
He never responds.
As I sit on my bed, chewing on my lips, I look back on our past and start to see it so differently now. Every awkward silence between us, every weird moment – it all wasn’t because I disliked him or didn’t want to associate with him.
It was because I was acquiring feelings for him. Becoming drawn to him; to his light and his spirit. And instead of letting it all in, I shut it out and denied it, just like I do with everything else in my life.
And now that I’m learning the truth, it’s too late, and I’m just letting his shitty ex steal him back again, just to fuck him over like he did the last time.
But soon I decide…no.
Not for Joshua.
He deserves better.
He deserves…well, me.
This ex-boyfriend’s story is very sad, sure, and he needs professional help, but Joshua doesn’t need all this mess dragging him down. This guy is a wreck, and if Joshua goes back, he will be right back where he started.
He needs someone new.
He needs someone stable.
He needs me.
And look, I know it’s a risk. I know it could end in disaster. But at this point I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain…
And last night, in Joshua’s eyes, I saw everything.
So I jump up, grab my keys, and start throwing on some clothes. Halloween may be over, but I’ve still got a few tricks up my sleeve.
But still, it all depends on him. He’s about to either make me the happiest person on the planet, or crush my whole world, in one fell swoop.
~
I pull up to find him crying at the curb. Six Pence is a British-style pub, ironically enough, and he’s right next to their little red British phone booth.
For a moment I think I’m too late – he must be crying tears of joy, because his ex-boyfriend took him back, just like he’s wanted.
But then again…that makes no sense. Where would the ex be?! Why is Joshua alone?
I find a miraculously close parking spot, by Savannah standards, and then run across the square to him. He stands, wiping his face.
“Harry. What are you doing here?”
I stop before him and hide my hands in my pockets, uncharacteristically nervous. A Six Pence bartender is gathering the decorations outside the door and stuffing them into a bag, because it is November and Halloween is over.
But are Joshua and I over? Before we could even begin?
“You shouldn’t sit on street curbs, you know, with all these erratic drivers,” I tell him. “It’s just not safe.”
“Harry. Be serious. What are you doing?”
“I, um…I couldn’t get here fast enough, actually.”
He smiles in a sad way. “You chased me to a pub? Why? I told you I’d be back. I just needed a minute…but why?”
“Because…because your ex, he wanted you back…”
He looks at me like he just smelled dog shit. “Wanted me back? What?”
“That’s why I sped here…I almost got pulled over twice…I thought…I thought…”
He looks away, his hazel eyes looking lighter than usual in the autumn sunlight. “He didn’t want me back,” he says quietly. “Quite the opposite, actually. I can’t even believe I came here. God, I’m an idiot.”
I step closer. “You’re not an idiot, Joshua. What happened?”
He just shrugs. “He brought me out to tell me he’s getting engaged. To a girl. And that he can’t ever talk to me again, because he’s ‘straight’ now. He said he didn’t want me to find out on social media, or from Ryan.”
“Oh, my God…”
“I know,” he says bleakly.
“That’s just so sad…I don’t know whether to be relieved for my sake, or cry for his…and yours…I’m really sorry, Joshua.”
“I know, I know. He’s just so lost.” He sighs, then looks up again. “But you know what? I’m glad we had that conversation. The past few m
onths have felt more like babysitting than anything…but I’m done. He can’t do this to me forever. I can’t do this to myself forever. For the first time, I feel…I feel like I got closure. He’s gone. It’s over. For good, you know?”
“I do. And I’m glad you see it for what it is now. For nobody’s sake but your own. Okay, and mine, too…but honestly, don’t ever feel bad for wanting to help someone. You did a commendable thing by coming here.”
“Yeah, yeah…”
I just smile at his beautiful face.
“Why are you smiling at a time like this?” he asks. “And what are you looking at?”
“You,” I say.
“Why?”
“Because you’re beautiful.”
He shakes his head. “Harry, this is…”
I step closer, and he retreats until he is standing against the edge of the phone booth. I stop before him and place both hands on the red wood, pinning him there as he stares at my face, lost in wonder.
“This is…what?”
“Come on. You don’t even know me.”
“That is false. I know that you are funny and caring and that you walk into a room and make it brighter. And I’m kind of excited to find out more.”
He smiles, then glances away. “But it’s still…”
“Yes?”
“Dangerous,” he says, but I don’t believe the reticence on his face.
“I prefer unusual.”
“Risky,” he whispers.
“I prefer off-the-beaten-path.”
“Stupid,” he murmurs.
“I prefer unorthodox.”
“And it’s…and it’s…”
“Yes?” I ask, and finally the ice in his eyes breaks.
“All I’ve wanted for six fucking months.”
I smile and place a finger on his chin. And I don’t care who sees or notices or even stares. Once I dive into something, I dive in – no looking back required.
“I want you, Joshua. Seeing you walk out of my door made me realize I was terrified to lose you to someone else already. Sometimes accidents happen on purpose – I firmly believe that. I know you said you wanted it to end after last night, but why ruin a good thing before it can even happen?”
