by Mari Mancusi
“Wow,” I said, a little taken aback. I’d been so distracted by everything, until this moment I hadn’t thought all of this through. What if she’d been hurt—or killed? As much as I didn’t want to marry her, I certainly didn’t want her harmed.
But did someone else? Someone who didn’t want her to marry me? My brows furrowed. Most of the attacks so far had been carried out against Arendelle. And now they’d tried to hurt the girl intended to be my bride. Who hated me enough to go to such great lengths? And how many more people would be put at risk if something wasn’t done?
I realized Runa was still staring at me, an uncertain expression on her face. “I’m sorry,” I said ruefully, walking over to her. “We’re really not giving you the best first impression of our kingdom, are we? I promise you, it’s usually a lot more peaceful. Almost boring, to be honest.”
Maybe this would all be a blessing in disguise. She’d be too frightened to stay. Who would want to be queen of such a dangerous country? Between the recent attacks and now the explosion…To think once we were concerned about purple sheep…
“Don’t worry,” she said, giving me a shy smile. “I like what I’ve seen of Arendelle so far. All it needs is a little…discipline. Like my father says, you just have to set an example. Once people see what happens when you challenge the crown, they tend not to challenge you anymore.”
“I guess,” I said hesitantly, though the approach sounded a bit ruthless to me. Arendelle had always been a peaceful kingdom. I didn’t want to see it turn into a military state. There had to be another way.
Runa lay a hand on my arm. “May I speak frankly?”
“Um, yes. Of course.” Something inside me quivered, and not in a good way.
Her shoulders seemed to relax. “Look, I know this is hard, okay?” she said. “I just wanted you to know it’s hard for me, too.”
“What?” I was confused. “You mean…the explosion?”
She shook her head. “No,” she said. “I’m not talking about the explosion.” She turned for a moment, staring at the back of the room, as if thinking. Then she turned back to me, her expression resolute. “Agnarr, I know it can be intimidating to meet someone new, especially with such high stakes attached. I was scared to come here. To meet the future king of the mighty Arendelle. I was worried you might turn out to be a monster!” she added with a small laugh.
I felt my cheeks flush. “I was nervous about meeting you, too,” I confessed.
“It’s only natural,” she agreed. “But I want you to know I am not worried anymore,” she continued. “I can tell you are no monster. You are kind, smart. You care about people. Trust me, I’ve made the rounds to various kingdoms. I cannot say the same for all men in positions of power.”
“I appreciate that,” I said, unsure of where this was heading, and even more uncertain I wanted to stick around to find out.
She reached up, turning my chin gently so I was facing her again. Her green eyes met mine. There was no doubt in them. No fear. No confusion. She knew what she wanted. And she wasn’t shy about asking for it.
“Forget about them,” she said firmly. “You and I—we can do this our way. On our terms.”
Then, to my shock, she rose up on her toes, pressing her lips against mine. They were soft and warm as they roamed my mouth, coaxing me to kiss her back. To show her I agreed. That we could find a way to make this work together.
But I couldn’t do it. Her lips were full and pliant, but they were the lips of a stranger. There was no passion behind Runa’s act—the kiss was not given in love, but out of duty and honor. She was doing what she was raised to do. Stepping into the role she was born to play.
But I didn’t want to play anymore.
And while maybe someday we could learn to love one another—or at least live in a respectful partnership—there was always the chance we wouldn’t. The chance I would end up like my mother—so sad she couldn’t breathe, trapped in a life she never wanted to live.
But I had one thing my mother didn’t have. A best friend. A true love. Someone worth fighting for. Someone worth risking everything for.
Iduna.
I broke away from Runa, stepping back from her arms. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I can’t. I just…I can’t.”
“Why not?” she asked, looking crestfallen. “I would be a good wife, Agnarr. I would be faithful to you. I would be a good mother to your children.”
“I believe all that,” I said. “I truly do. But I can’t be a good husband to you. Not when I am in love with someone else.” This was dangerous territory: one word from Runa, and King Nicholas could be tempted to pull back all of the help he had just offered, and more. I treaded carefully. “You deserve so much more, Runa. You deserve a man who will love you with all his heart. Who will marry you because he can’t bear to wake up in the morning without you by his side—not because of some ridiculous idea of it being good for the kingdoms.” I sighed. “Alliances can be built by other means. Partnerships, trade—all that can be worked out. But at the end of the day, what really matters is that you are happy. That you are loved. Whether it be by the richest prince or the son of the butcher.”
Runa stared at me for a moment. I could practically see the gears turning in her head. For a moment, I wondered if she’d slap me. But instead, a slow, grateful smile began to spread across her face.
She reached out and gave me a tight hug. “I hope this girl knows how lucky she is to have someone like you,” she whispered in my ear. “And I hope someday I’ll be that lucky, too.”
I RAN INTO THE SECRET ROOM IN THE library, slamming the door shut behind me. Leaning against the stone shelves, I sucked in a shaky breath. I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks, but I didn’t bother to swipe them away.
Agnarr and Runa, all alone, in the sitting room.
Kissing.
I’d slipped out of the Great Hall earlier, sneaking past Peterssen to go check on Agnarr. I’d told myself I was just making sure he was all right. But if I was being honest with myself, I was worried about him and Runa being alone together, despite my brave words in the tree.
As it turned out, my worries were well founded.
I closed my eyes and saw Runa’s dainty hand snaking behind Agnarr’s neck, pulling him close. His strong hands at her waist.
Bile rose to my throat.
“This is what you wanted,” I reminded myself. “He’s just doing what you told him. He tried to ask you to marry him. And you turned him down before he could even manage to get the words out. You told him you were leaving. What was he supposed to do?”
But none of that logic could squash the pain searing in my soul. Bearing witness to Agnarr taking that next step. Leaving me behind forever.
And so quickly, too. He was literally begging me to stay—he’d carved me a love spoon, for goodness’ sake—when the explosion hit. And not twenty minutes later, he’d already moved on to another.
I reached into the bodice of my gown and pulled out the half-carved spoon. I ran my fingers along its still-rough edges. Unbeknownst to Agnarr, I’d picked it up off the ground as we’d run back inside the castle. Maybe I should leave it here for him. Maybe he could finish it and present it to Runa instead.
Despair rose inside me. What was I going to do? I’d told Agnarr I was leaving, but where was I supposed to go? My life was here, in Arendelle. And even if I did manage to find some other safe haven, I knew the memories would follow me like restless ghosts. Anywhere I went, Agnarr would remain there, in my heart.
Anger rose inside me, displacing my fear. I kicked a nearby chair, only succeeding in hurting my foot. I gritted my teeth, hopping up and down in pain a few times, managing to knock over a stack of papers in the process.
Typical clumsy Iduna. I bet Runa had never knocked anything over accidentally in her life.
When I reached down to scoop them back up, I realized a map sat on top of the pile.
Not just any map. The map to the mountain trolls.
&nbs
p; I stared down it, my heart thumping as a thought began to take form in my mind. Could this be the answer I was looking for? The one sure way to absolve me of my pain?
The trolls had wiped the ice harvester’s memory, to give her peace. And Agnarr’s mother’s memory, too.
Could they do the same for me?
A thread of hope wound through me. Was it possible? Could the trolls really help me forget my love for the prince? If so, I could stay in Arendelle, keep working with the farmers. Maybe make some new friends.
Maybe even find someone new.
Part of me hated the idea. Part of me wanted to jealously hold on to the time spent with Agnarr, painful as it was. But another part of me, the more sensible part, told me that until the pain was gone, I would never be able to move forward with my life. And I had so much more to live for. So much more to do.
Memories faded eventually. I would just be…speeding up the process a bit.
I grabbed the map and rolled it up in my hands. My whole body was trembling as I slipped out from behind the bookcase again, leaving the secret room behind. Next time I was here, I wouldn’t remember it at all.
And the pain would be gone for good.
“ANY SIGN OF HER?”
Kai closed the door to my chambers behind him, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, sir. I checked the entire castle. Lady Iduna is not here.”
I scowled, wanting to slam my fist against the wall. Where had she gone? I’d returned to the Great Hall right after parting with Runa, but Iduna was nowhere to be seen. I’d questioned all the guards, but in the chaos of the incident at the ball, no one had seen her go.
Had she made good on her threat to leave Arendelle forever?
Despair rose inside me. I sat down in the chair next to my bed, scrubbing my face with my hands.
“Are you all right, sire?” Kai asked, his voice sounding troubled. “Are you worried about her? Shall I send the guards out to track her down?”
I shook my head slowly. “Don’t bother. She’s gone. She’s probably never coming back.”
“That would be a real shame, sire.” Kai pressed his lips together. “We all love Lady Iduna. She brings so much life to this castle.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t blame her for leaving,” I muttered. “Though I wish she had at least come to say goodbye.”
Kai came over and put a warm hand on my shoulder. “Agnarr—” he started, but was interrupted by a knock at the door.
For a moment I had a wild idea it might be Iduna, coming back to say that she could never leave me—that she loved me too much for us to be apart. But instead, it was Gerda who poked her head inside. “Would Your Majesty like some supper?” she asked. “I brought you a sandwich.” She entered and set a tray on the table. Then she looked from Kai to me.
“Is everything all right?” she asked.
“Iduna’s gone,” Kai told her when I didn’t immediately answer. “The prince is…concerned.”
“Do you think she’s not safe?” Gerda asked, her face turning pale.
“No!” I practically shouted. “She just doesn’t want to be with me!”
Gerda was at my side in an instant, pulling me into a tight hug as she used to do when I was a boy. “That is not true,” she said firmly. “I know for a fact Iduna loves you.”
“A blind man would know that,” Kai added with a chuckle.
I struggled out of the hug. “You don’t understand. I was about to ask her to marry me. I carved a love spoon for her and everything! But she says I’m supposed to marry a princess. Like Runa.” My hands curled into fists. “I’m so sick of people telling me what I should do. Whom I should marry. Sometimes I wish I could renounce my crown altogether. So I could marry the person I love.”
Gerda exchanged looks with Kai. “But you can,” she told me, her voice low and careful. “I don’t mean renouncing your birthright,” she clarified quickly. “But marrying the person you love? That’s your choice in the end.”
I frowned at her words. “You don’t understand. The council said—”
Kai waved a hand dismissively. “The council likes to say many things. But there’s nothing in the Arendelle lawbooks that says you must marry someone of royal blood.”
I stared at him in disbelief. “How do you know that?”
Guilty smiles crept to their lips. “We may have done a little research,” Gerda confessed, “when we saw you two suffering so much from that ridiculous council trying to force you into a marriage you didn’t want, to a girl who was completely wrong for you.”
“We spent hours in the library,” Kai added. “Scoured all the books we could find on the subject.”
“And we found nothing!” Gerda exclaimed, excitedly clapping her hands together. “There is no Arendelle law—now or ever—that says the prince must marry into another royal family.”
“Are you serious?” I asked, astounded at the news and more than a little surprised that Gerda and Kai had gone to such lengths on my behalf. I’d had no idea that they cared so much. That they had been rooting for Iduna and me from the sidelines all this time.
Kai grinned. “The council may not like it. But you, as their monarch, have the final say. You can marry whoever you want. A princess, an orphan—it’s your choice.”
“I think that choice has already been made,” Gerda added with a teasing smile.
I felt a lump rise in my throat. “Thank you,” I said sincerely.
Gerda gave me a soft look. “Agnarr, we both care about you greatly.” She took a deep breath. “And we don’t want to see you end up like your mother. That would be the worst thing in the world.”
My mother. I nodded slowly, thinking back to the trolls’ story. I had been so close to the same thing happening to me.
If not for Iduna…
Gerda reached into her bag and pulled out a small stuffed puffin with a blue cape and a button eye. For a moment, I didn’t recognize it. Then, slowly, a warm memory floated to the surface.
“Sir JörgenBjörgen!” I cried, grabbing it from her and just staring. “I forgot all about him! Where’s he been all these years?”
“Your father packed away everything that reminded him of your mother after she left. And we have no idea where he put it. He also forbade anyone to speak of her,” Gerda explained. “But I saved this—because he was your favorite. I’m sorry I kept him hidden from you all these years. But it’s high time you had him back.”
Tears misted my eyes as I gazed down at the raggedy stuffed animal, memories now pouring back into me as if a dam had burst. All those years I’d kept locked away after being shamed by my father for weeping when my mother left.
But now I remembered.
The way she’d get on the floor and play with me, even if it was unbecoming of a queen.
The way she’d tickle me until I couldn’t stop laughing.
The great games of hide-and-go-seek through the castle.
Happy memories of our time together. Before it had all screeched to a halt.
What would she think if she saw me now, at the crossroads of the same decision she’d once been forced to make? She wouldn’t want me to marry a princess for the good of the realm. She’d want me to marry Iduna.
Because I loved Iduna. Iduna made me happy. Iduna made me whole.
With Iduna I would be a better man. A better king.
And now nothing was standing in my way.
“SERIOUSLY, COULD IT BE ANY COLDER?” I muttered as I trudged through the falling snow, map still clutched in my hand. It had been almost balmy when I slipped out of Arendelle Castle through the secret passage early that morning. I knew I was taking a risk, but I had run home to grab a few hours of sleep, change clothes, and grab a few supplies. And with the harsh turn the weather had taken, I was glad I did. The wind howled through the trees, and snow fell in thick clumps. It was only a dusting at first, but now it was at least a foot deep. With no signs of stopping anytime soon.
I knew I should probably turn around. Go back to the
village and wait it out. But I was on a mission. And I was afraid if I abandoned it now, I would never get the courage to try again.
I pushed on, through what was now looking to be a very intense blizzard. Worse still, I was on foot. Last time we’d journeyed here, Agnarr and I had ridden horses up the steep, winding trails. But I hadn’t dared ask anyone to loan me one, afraid it would bring up too many questions, and I didn’t want to risk being caught borrowing one without permission.
“Argh!”
I stumbled over a boulder that was completely obscured by the snow. Flailing, I tried to keep my balance but ended up falling face-first into a large drift. I scrambled to my feet, attempting to brush the snow away, but the flakes were heavy, wet, clinging to my neck and cloak and soaking me to the bone.
I shivered, beginning to get scared. This storm was no joke, and even with my outdoor skills, I was no match for its power. Looking back the way I’d come, I realized I’d already traveled too far to turn around. In fact, Arendelle Castle was so far below at this point that it looked like a toy. The ships in the fjord’s harbor were ant-sized. Would I even make it back down the hill in these icy conditions?
My teeth chattered. Looking at my hands, I realized they had a strange blue tinge. The wind whipped at my cloak, snapping it against my legs so hard it hurt.
I needed to get under cover—fast. Or I wouldn’t make it through the day.
I drew in a breath, my Northuldra instincts kicking in as I scanned the mountainside for shelter. I could try to build one out of fallen trees, but that would take too long. What I really needed was a small cave or at least an outcropping of some sort to protect me from the wind and snow.
Nothing but whiteness surrounded me.
My heart pounded with fear. What was I doing out here? All alone, not having told anyone where I’d gone. If I died out here, which seemed more likely by the moment, no one would ever find my body. It would be impossible before spring. And the wolves would have taken care of me long before that.
