Chapter 6 - Supernatural
The Human
"Don't forget the capital 'h' ", Boy added. "Very important."
"I don't get it", I complained.
"Neither do I", added Phill.
I continued; "What do you mean honour... Honour? I have honour. It's not a weapon."
"Ahh", Matt told me condescendingly, "You have honour, but you do not have Honour. Did you notice my emphasis on the capital?" I nodded, although I didn't notice anything. "Good. Now, before I go into detail, consider this: how does religion govern you?"
"I don't really have time for religion", I said honestly.
"I mean, you, as a human race."
"Uhh... with threats of hell and promises of heaven?", I answered uncertainly.
"Yes, but how does it ensure that you do what it says, excluding the afterlife", he pressed on. "Surely it cannot expect to police these things."
"Well, I guess it leaves you to judge yourself."
"Exactly. It doesn't really do anything to force you to abide by its laws, but rather, it lets your conscience force you. Quite a powerful tool."
"And the relevance is?" Pauline asked impatiently.
"Will you have patience?" Phill all but yelled at her, causing her to cringe. He muttered to himself, "Organics. What do you expect?"
"Anyway", Matthew continued. "Slug Honour goes by the same idea. Instead of actually making our Slugs behave Honourably, we let Slugs force themselves to behave Honourably. Now, this is the essence of it. You're going to love this. Actually, now that I think about it, you'll probably be horrified. Anyway. What do you think is a Slug's greatest ambition?"
"Uhh, to kill all cyborgs? No offense."
"Nope", Boy answered.
"To... protect Slugenis?"
"Nope."
"To protect Earth?"
"Nope. Every Slug, not just us."
"Fine. To serve your empire?"
"Nope."
"OK, I give up. What is it?"
Matthew answered this menacingly, leaning towards me, and whispering evilly, "To die."
After the spell of silence passed over us, Pauline summed up all my thoughts with a very intelligent, "Huh?"
"You heard right", he replied. "Every single Slug's greatest desire is to die. How do we go against basic organic thought, you ask? Well you didn't, but I bet you were thinking it. Subconsciously. Anyway, we go against basic organic instinct with having this idea drummed into our heads our entire life. Like some kind of mass brainwashing, but not in an evil way. So, every Slug wants to die, but it's not that simple, otherwise every Slug will kill themselves.
"The way we deal with this is with Honour. Basically, every Slug wants to die to earn Honour for the empire and themselves, as dying is the best and greatest way to gain it. Kind of like how war heroes here are... war heroes. Because they died. However, to die by your own hands - AKA suicide, for the uninitiated - is seen as the lowest form of disgrace a Slug can have. Or is it the highest form? Well, it's very bad. Any Slug who kills themselves will be known as a disgrace across the entire empire. And as we are conditioned to value our Honour above all else, this is the worst possible thing that can happen to a Slug. Worse than death.
"Now, of course Slugs could fake their own death, and actually kill themselves to gain Honour. This is where the whole religion thing comes in. Yes, this is possible, but remember, a Slug feels their own Honour greater than anyone else. No one would do such a thing, as, although they may fool others, they know themselves that they have lost all Honour. Unless they fool themselves... but that's for another time.
"This is similar to, if given the opportunity to cheat at something, some people wouldn't, because they wouldn't feel right about themselves. As such, the suicide rate among Slugs is very low. As in, zero. As in, no suicides at all."
He paused to take a deep breath. I quickly said, "That's cool."
"Yes. So it is", he replied. "Continuing on, we also have a zero murder rate because for a Slug to kill another Slug also strips them of all Honour. Remember, a Slug would rather die a grisly death than have their Honour taken away, even if they're the only one to know it. And, remember this also, to kill someone is to give them an Honourable death. If you killed your worst enemy, you'd be granted them their greatest desire. Of course, there are other rules for this Honour which ensure that the empire runs smoothly..."
"Such as?" Pauline butted in.
"What?" Matt asked.
"What are these other rules?"
"Very well. If one is attacked, one must do everything in their power to save their lives, as to willingly allow oneself to die is... tantamount to suicide. Tantamount. What a cool word. Anyway, if one dies in self-defence, that is considered an Honourable death. Which reminds me, Boy, the Slugs who were on that ship with me, the one that got attacked by Phill, they tried to escape but were all killed."
"Haha!" Phill shouted. "I got some of you then!"
"Too bad you missed the only one you needed to kill", Matthew mocked him. Phill kept silent. "So, Ethan, they all died Honourable deaths. They died trying to escape the ship, but didn't make it. The point is they tried. In the last split second of their life, they lived gloriously. Anyway, one who dies for the empire dies an Honourable death, one who dies for another Slug dies an Honourable death, you get the gist of things."
"Gist?" Boy asked, astonished. "What kind of word of gist?"
"It means idea. You get the idea of things", I informed him. He just shook his head.
"I must say, I still have no idea of this Honour thing", Phill announced.
"Non-organics", Matt smiled at me. "What do you expect?" I laughed.
"So, Phill", I turned to him after it seemed that Matthew wouldn't go on for now. "How is this Honour a Slug's greatest weakness also?"
He replied solemnly, "It's their greatest strength because they have no fear of death. It's their greatest weakness because it makes them so predictable. Whenever you think a Slug has given up, it hasn't. They can't. A Slug will always die for a fellow Slug rather than leave them behind. Very handy for using hostages. A Slug will also always take on a difficult task with a low survival chance.
"You can see how in certain situations, you can always predict a Slug's move. It has cost many a Slug life when a Cyborg has correctly estimated what they were about to do. If you know what your opponent will do, you will defeat them."
"I'll verse you one day in chess, then", Matthew told him. "But, lesson's done for now. Class dismissed."
Pauline smiled, and left the room. I wondered where the other five Slugs were and asked Boy. I hadn't seen them in ages. "They're back at the ship", he answered. "Making preparations."
"The LOC isn't a simple press-a-button-and-it-fires-at-the-nearest-enemy", Matthew told me mockingly.
"OK, I'll see you guys later", I told them. Boy gave me a puzzled look, then I remembered he didn't like that phrase. "Goodbye", I told him, and left the room.
The next Monday morning (we'd had a break over the weekend, when school was on), I met Matthew in the war room again. "Hello", I greeted him, and he nodded in my direction. I sensed something was up. "What's up?" I asked.
He looked at me, and said in a very serious tone, "I have something to tell you. Once I tell you, however, you will hate me for not telling you sooner. I know you will hate me." He hung his head in shame.
At this point, all of my alarm bells were going off. This had to be something huge, I thought, and tried to ask gently, "What is it?"
He looked up at me. "Remember when Phill told you that Honour was our greatest weapon. Well, it's not actually our greatest weapon in combat."
"Are you talking about some kind of WMD?"
Suddenly, he got a huge smile on his face. "No, but I promise you, it is the coolest thing you've ever seen. I can't believe I'd never thought to tell you of it before, but I never needed to so I just forgot. But just you wait, wait till Pauline gets here, cause it is... it is awesome! Slugs don't think so,
because we're used to it by now, but I can predict your reaction... It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it."
Now he was really getting excited, although I was pretty sure that Slugs didn't get goosebumps. I found myself not being able to wait for the biologist to arrive. When she eventually did show up with Boy, I was almost hyperventilating with anticipation. If this was more awesome than anything else Matt'd shown me, I would explode. Figuratively, of course.
"Greetings, everyone", Matthew announced, and before anyone could reply, he pulled up Boy's sleeve and grabbed his arm.
After a second, Boy smiled, and said, "Excellent idea. Perhaps it is time to show them."
By now, my patience was getting the better of me. "Will you just tell me?!" I almost yelled at them.
Pauline smirked at me. "Who's impatient now?" I ignored her.
"OK, watch this", Matthew commanded our attention as he rolled up his sleeve. It seemed that every time he did that something cool was about to happen.
Phill entered the room, along with Carmen, saw what was happening, and muttered, "Ugh." I half expected him to just turn around and leave, but he chose to stay.
But now I focused on Matthew's forearm. "Behold!" he announced in a booming voice, and then his arm was no more.
Not to say it wasn't there anymore; just the organic part wasn't. In its place was an arm shaped... slab of metal. Silver, hard and glistening metal. It looked like a solid hunk of steel, causing Pauline to gasp. I was too stunned to do anything but stare. Then, in the blink of an eye, it was flesh again, or, well, slime. But the point was, it was just momentarily replaced with a metallic arm counterpart. All that escaped my mouth was, "Huh?"
Matthew laughed. "Hahah! Now you see my true power! Well, it's not really mine, and I wouldn't call it a power, but you get the point."
"How did you do that?" I managed to stutter. "It was your arm. Then it was metal. Then your arm again..."
"Impossible", Pauline breathed.
"Nothing's impossible if you can dream it!" Matthew announced to the skies, or, the roof. Then he looked at us again. "Except flying without machines, breathing in space without equipment..."
"Breathing underwater without equipment", Boy piped in.
"Yes, that too. Umm, jumping a million kilometres in the air with your own strength. Basically a whole host of things are impossible, no matter how much you dream, but it's an inspiring line, nonetheless."
"How about understanding you miscreants?" Phill asked from the background.
"Yes, I suppose that too", Matthew amended. "Anyway. Damn, I say that a lot. Anyway, my arm wasn't replaced by metal, rather it was coated in metal. I call it Metal Slug. Original, no?" I nodded dumbly. "Well, technically it's Metal Slug II, as the first was literally pouring molten metal over yourself, giving a permanent metal cover. Rather disastrous actually, wasn't it Boy?"
"Yes", he answered. "Caused quite a few terrible deaths, although they died with Honour. Metal Slug II, however, is not permanent, and is subject to the user's will, although it takes a great amount of concentration to use it effectively, especially during combat."
"How does it work?" Pauline asked, recovered from the shock. I still wasn't.
"I'll explain it sometime", Matt promised her. "Let's just say for now... Nanotechnology. That always explains everything. For now, let us show you how Metal Slug works in combat. Boy, a sparring session, if you will?"
"This will be fun", he actually grinned. "Let's see if you've lost any of your skill."
Matt smiled at him. "A true master never loses their skill."
We were in the school's main courtyard, the breakfast crew having cleared out a while ago. It was roughly square, but very roughly. Matthew and Boy faced each other in the middle, while the rest of us watched. I caught myself comparing the two of them; Boy's large body to Matt's lanky one.
At first, nothing happened. Then, really fast, but not super-human fast, Boy charged Matt, sprinting across the courtyard. It looked like one blow from him would knock my friend's head off as he raised his fist into a punch position. But, at the last second, Matthew dodged his attack, swirled around and elbowed him in the back, causing him to sprawl to the ground.
"You always were too aggressive, Boy", he commented mockingly. "Perhaps you should learn patience and how to bide your time."
"You can bide this!" Boy yelled, and leapt up. He grabbed Matt in a bear hug from behind, and started to shake him around. Although it looked like it would hurt, Matthew was just laughing hysterically, indicating he was actually enjoying being treated like a rag-doll.
"OK, play-time's over!", he yelled back, and kicked back at Boy's shins. It didn't appear to do anything at first, but then Matt's foot hooked around Boy's and surged forward - folding Boy's leg at the knee - which caused his assailant to lose his footing. While this was happening, Matthew struggled out of the bear hug, kicked off the ground with his other foot, and sent Boy hurtling to the ground beneath him.
"I never knew brawls required so much multitasking", I whispered to Pauline. She didn't answer.
Next, Matthew grabbed Boy's leg, taking a violent kick to the face from him, but ignoring it. He planted his heel on Boy's chin, stretching further out to do so than I believed possible. A harsh tug on the leg he grasped simultaneously choked Boy and stretched his leg. "In this way", Matthew announced to his audience, "I can either choke the life out of, or dislocate the leg of, Boy here. Or possibly both, if I was in a bad enough mood. Assuming, of course, that he had bones in his leg to dislocate, and that he had a throat that I could choke. But you get the idea."
"OK, OK, get off me", Boy grunted. "Let's do this the Slug way".
Matt let him get up, and then removed all of his upper layers of clothes. Boy did likewise, his bulky body dwarfing Matthew's seemingly fragile frame. Boy's flesh was a much more uniform colour as well, while Matt's was more... dappled, and generally looked much more like skin. The main thing they had in common was that both of their midsections and arms were utterly hairless.
"Remember", Phill told me from behind, "Looks are nothing when it comes to Slugs. Boy appears huge because he wants to look intimidating, and Matthew appears small because he has been trying to avoid attention on his time on Earth."
"OK", I replied dumbly. In truth, it surprised me that Phill knew so much about the motives of the two Slugs. Seeing as how he spent the last two decades in a cave.
"Now!" Matt announced again. "Get ready to witness the very first world viewing of Slug combat! Or, at least, the first Earth viewing."
He crouched low, mimicking Boy. At first, I was unsure as to why they'd removed their tops, but I soon realised it was for the benefit of us watching.
Like before, Boy charged Matthew first again. He held up his fist, which I noticed seemed to gleam in the light. I soon realised that he had used the Metal Slug to coat it with metal, making it hard and shiny, and that it was going to hurt. What happened instead, however, was that Matt stood up straight, puffed out his chest, and received the blow dead-on. It just pummelled into him, and seemed to have no ill-effects at all. It was only when Boy retracted his fist that I saw Matthew's mid-chest covered with a coat of metal - Metal Slug to be precise - which blocked his assailant's attack.
Matt laughed out loud, then grabbed Boy's arm. In retaliation, he swung his other arm around, also coated with Metal Slug, to decapitate Matt. A swift dodge saved him from this fate, while his legs attacked Boy's lower body. There was so much going on at once, I didn't know what to watch. It reminded me of Matthew's first fight with that Cyborg, the notion that the body was made up of separate entities, each waging a separate battle. And so, the confusingly complicated battle continued. It was just... supernatural. A trip from Matt, a swipe from Boy, a block, a lunge, a punch. And all in close quarters, so close that the pair could hug if they wished.
In the end, Matthew managed to win, by getting a good strike on Boy's upper arm. Boy tried in vain to follow up with a counter-attack, but was
tripped first. Matt ended up on top of him, hands around his throat, elbows pinning his arms and legs pinning his legs.
"Aha!" he shouted triumphantly. "I win!"
"I see you haven't lost your touch", Boy conceded grudgingly.
"Please", the winner huffed. "You haven't seen anything yet. Get back up, and I'll show you what twenty years of exile can do to one's abilities."
Boy got up and reset his position on the 'battle field'. "I can't wait to see what happens next", Pauline whispered to me.
"I can't wait to see what he is talking about", Phill said. I got a worried feeling that he might feed all this information to the enemy, but decided, using the awesome power of the benefit of the doubt, that he was on our side.
"Watch this", Matthew began, and started spinning. Gradually, he got faster and faster, and while he spun he managed to call out, "As I spin I turn my brain in the opposite direction as fast as I can, to avoid the effects of dizziness."
"Impossible", Boy replied matter-of-factly, but no one was really paying attention to him.
"And now", Matt continued, "I will release control of my arm..." At that, his arm just shot straight out from his body, aimed directly at Boy, and landed on his arm, grasping it.
"How...?" Boy managed to begin, but Matthew interrupted.
"I utilised the centrifugal force of my spinning to launch my arm out at you", he said proudly. It was a strange sight, Matthew standing a few metres away, yet his freakishly elongated arm quite firmly holding onto Boy's. OK, it was a very strange sight. I couldn't register exactly why just yet, but he was much shorter than his usual height. Then, he sprinted up to Boy, his stretched arm... going back into his body. As he ran, the excess arm - the excess arm? - kind of looped back into him, disappearing into his skin. When Matt reached him, he pulled back his other hand. Only, it was no longer a hand. It was shaped like a spike of skin-coloured flesh, about thirty centimetres long. Then, in the blink of an eye, it was metallic, a sword attached to his arm.
He swiped straight at Boy, but stopped just short of him. Boy was staring at him, wide-eyed. "Now do you see what a Slug can do, if they have enough willpower to learn to do it?" Matthew asked him.
"How do you defeat that?" Phill asked from the sidelines.
Matthew turned to him. "Dipping me in lava might work. At least it did that other time." I don't think anyone got that he was talking about the Terminator except me and perhaps Pauline. I thought that that was more suited to Phill anyway. "Anyway", he let go of Boy and, well, de-Metal-Slug-amised, his arm, although it wasn't a normal hand just yet. "I'm bored of this place. Ethan, want to go out?"
The Cyborg
We were in the middle of the learning centre, in a poorly shaped square of asphalt. Matthew and boy faced each other in the middle of the grounds, while the rest of us watched.
At first, nothing happened, which was what I expected. The slugs seemed to be tailoring this fight for the two humans, putting on some kind of demonstration. I wasn't here for entertainment, however, but for observation. I was interested to discover if, were we to fight again, I would be able to defeat matthew.
The fight started with boy charging matthew, sprinting across the area. He raised his fist into a threatening punch position, aimed straight for matthew's face, but I knew better. At the last second, matthew dodged his attack, swirled around and elbowed him in the back, causing him to sprawl to the ground.
"You always were too aggressive, boy", he commented mockingly. Do all slugs put down those they defeat? They should show their allies how to improve upon their weaknesses, rather than gloat that they do not share them. "Perhaps you should learn patience and how to bide your time." I knew all about patience and time.
"You can bide this!" boy yelled, and leapt up. He put his arms around matthew from behind, and started to viciously shake him around. However, matthew was laughing hysterically, perhaps trying to show off to the others. It took most of my processing power to refrain from pronouncing the irrationality of his actions.
"Okay, play-time's over!", he yelled back, and kicked back at boy's lower legs. It didn't appear to do anything at first, but then matthew's foot hooked around boy's, and a quick surge of matthew's leg caused boy to lose his footing. While this was happening, matthew struggled out of the other's grasp, kicked off the ground with his foot, and sent boy to the ground beneath him.
"I never knew brawls required so much multitasking", ethan whispered to pauline. She didn't respond to his statement. I considered informing him that multitasking was relatively easy with enough practice, but decided that he was busy watching the two spar.
Next, matthew grabbed boy's leg, sustaining a violent kick to the face in the process, but ignoring it. He set his foot on boy's chin, stretching far out to do so. A quick tug on the leg he grasped simultaneously choked boy and stretched his leg. "In this way", matthew announced to us, "I can either choke the life out of, or dislocate the leg of, boy here. Or possibly both, if I was in a bad enough mood." In a bad enough mood? How did a slug's mood affect the outcome of a battle? It appeared I still had much to learn of organic weaknesses. Or was it something else?
Matthew continued, "Assuming, of course, that he had bones in his leg to dislocate, and that he had a throat that I could choke. But you get the idea."
"Okay, Okay, get off me", boy grunted. "Let's do this the slug way".
Matthew let him get up, and then removed his upper clothing. Boy did likewise, his larger body dwarfing matthew's smaller one. Ethan appeared distressed at this difference, so I sought to console him. "Remember", I told him, "Looks are nothing when it comes to slugs. Boy appears huge because he wants to look intimidating, and matthew appears small because he has been trying to avoid attention on his time on earth."
"Okay", he replied simply. I thought he may continue, but didn't.
"Now!" matthew announced again. "Get ready to witness the very first world viewing of slug combat! Or, at least, the first earth viewing." Another inaccurate statement, as everyone here knew that the slug had fought a Cyborg here before. Therefore, this wasn't the first earth viewing of slug combat. No one else expressed distress at this incorrect announcement, which led me to conclude that they'd forgotten the previous event.
Matthew crouched low, mimicking boy. Like before, boy charged matthew first again. He held up his fist, which reflected some visible light, indicating that it was coated with metal slug. Matthew stood up straight, and readied himself to absorb the incoming blow. It pummelled into him, and had no ill-effects at all, obviously from the protective layer of metal that he had put on his chest. My theory was confirmed when boy retracted his fist and revealed matthew's chest covered with metal slug.
Matthew laughed out loud, then grabbed boy's arm. In retaliation, he swung his other arm around, coated with metal slug, to deliver a strike to matthew's head. A dodge saved him from this assault, while his legs attacked boy's lower body. There followed a frenzied fight between the two slugs, one which proved to me that matthew had lost none of his former skill. That was not good for me. I decided to scan the battle, looking for any weaknesses from either of them.
As matthew earlier stated, boy seemed too aggressive in his attacks, not waiting to properly assess the situation. Matthew, while having a good offence strategy, didn't seem to plan ahead properly in terms of defence. He always seemed to block or dodge an attack from boy after it had been initiated, rather than foreseeing it and responding to it before it commenced. Some part of me paralleled this with the human game of 'chess', but it was an irrelevant process. I would keep this data, and use it should I ever end up fighting either of the two. While they fought, I heard ethan whisper to himself, "Supernatural." This confused me, as there was nothing supernatural about it, but I put it down to human ignorance.
In the end, matthew managed to win, by delivering a large blow to boy's upper arm. Boy tried in vain to follow up with a counter-attack, but was tripped first. Matthew ended up on top of him, hands around his throat, pinn
ing boy's limbs with his own.
"Aha!" he shouted triumphantly. "I win!"
"I see you haven't lost your touch", boy conceded grudgingly. I concurred.
"Please", the winner huffed. "You haven't seen anything yet. Get back up, and I'll show you what 20 years of exile can do to one's abilities." It wasn't exile, as the slugs hadn't sentenced him to it, but I was getting used to him saying the first thing that he conceived without first considering more accurate alternatives.
Boy got up and returned to his original position on the field. "I can't wait to see what happens next", pauline whispered to ethan.
"I can't wait to see what he is talking about", I said, which was true. What more could the slug do?
"Watch this", matthew began, and started spinning. Gradually, he got faster and faster, and while he spun he managed to call out, "As I spin I turn my brain in the opposite direction as fast as I can, to avoid the effects of dizziness."
"Impossible", boy replied, but no one was listening to him. As for my part, my viewing implements were focused entirely on matthew, waiting to see what he had planned.
"And now", he continued, "I will release control of my arm..." At that, his arm shot straight out from his body, aimed directly at boy. Although it lost considerable speed and height during its travel, it still landed on boy's arm, the hand grasping it.
"How...?" boy managed to begin, but matthew interrupted. I could tell he was doing his best to make this an entertaining yet informative display. It appeared to be working, as I was baffled as to how this could be done.
"I utilised the centrifugal force of my spinning to launch my arm out at you", he said proudly. Matthew was much shorter than usual, no doubt from the decreased slime in his body that was taken up by his stretched arm. Then, he sprinted up to boy, his arm absorbing back into his body. When matthew reached him, he pulled back his other hand, shaped like a sharp spike of skin-coloured flesh, approximately 32 centimetres long. Almost instantly, it was metallic, meaning that matthew's hand culminated in a sword.
Now this demanded some contemplation. How was it possible that a slug could do that? I'd never fought anyone that could stretch out at such improbable angles, simply by virtue of spinning. Usual slug shifting was a slow process, done in minutes, not seconds. No slug I'd ever received data on from the Cyborg Archives was capable of such a feat. Matthew's hand shifting without notice yet fast enough to be effective in combat was staggering on its own, but how did he manage to hone the end to such a sharp point? Sharp enough that, when coated with metal slug, it formed into a usable sword? I was truly at a loss to explain this phenomenon.
Matthew swiped straight at boy, but stopped just short of him. Boy was staring at him, wide-eyed. "Now do you see what a Slug can do, if they have enough willpower to learn to do it?" matthew asked him.
I couldn't help but interject with, "How do you defeat that?"
Matthew turned to me. "Dipping me in lava might work. At least it did that other time." I could not decipher exactly what he meant by that, and really had no desire to do so, but I kept it logged that dipping matthew in molten magma would definitely kill him.
"Anyway", he let go of boy and deactivated the metal slug on his hand. It had already begun an astonishingly fast shift to reform into a human hand. "I'm bored of this place. Ethan, want to go out?"
The fight appeared to be over, and after all that I had witnessed, the only word I could process to describe this slug was... Supernatural.
The Human
Later that day, Matthew and I were walking around the city. He had driven there, and had complained the whole time, "I always hated driving in cities. Traffic lights, traffic itself, and all those damn tram lines... Ugh."
"Get over it", I told him, but to no avail. So there we were, just walking up and down the streets, for no apparent reason. "So what exactly are we doing here?" I asked him.
"Must I need a reason to do anything?" The look I gave him must have answered the question, because he huffed and said, "I got bored of that school, sitting there all day plotting. So I decided to have a break. And, naturally, you had to come with me. Besides, we still have a while before the Cyborgs get here, so we're all good."
"How do you know that?"
"Our ships will pick them up on our scanners before they arrive", he answered. "Unless they're stealth ships. Then, we'd be in trouble." He must've seen my face again, because he quickly amended, "Of course, they're not stealth ships. The Slug King's detectors picked them up, remember? So we're fine."
"Good", I replied. "So, for now, my planet is safe."
"Yes", he said. "But, it's not your planet, technically. In the actual technicality of technicalities, technically, you are the planet's. After all, you live on it, feed off it, rely on it in every which way. So there, don't feel so possessive about something you don't possess, and losing it will be easier."
"Were it not for that absurd string of technicalities you just spouted out, that might have sounded wise", I told him.
"Well, you know what they say about madmen", he told me back.
"What?"
"I don't know, and even if I did, I'm not a madman, but a mad-Slug."
And so the afternoon proceeded, filled with our pre-Cyborg banter, just like the old days, except these ones involved aliens. Eventually, I got to the discussion of his and Boy's sparring session earlier, and told him, "Good job in that fight. Some of those moves were pretty amazing. Not that I couldn't do that if I wanted to."
He laughed. "Yes, well, don't expect any Slug you see to pull off those stunts willy-nilly. That takes years of meditation and practice to perfect. And I should tell you that it is insanely difficult to shift one's body so quickly. Most Slugs transform gradually, and it was not easy for me to learn to shift so fast. Did I ever tell you that it took me about three days of solid meditation to get a basic humanoid form, and be able to stand up so high?"
"No. But I should like to know."
"Well, it took me about three days of solid meditation to get a basic humanoid form, and be able to stand up so high. Now you know."
"Umm, do you think you could elaborate a bit?"
"Ugh, do you want my life story or something?"
"You're a friggin' alien! Yes, I want your life story!"
"Fine. So, I came to Earth twenty years ago. Wait, you know that already. OK, so the first thing I realised was that I wouldn't be able to keep any semblance of my sanity if I just hid the whole time. So I had to act human and fit in. Follow?" I nodded. "Task one was to be able to eat here before I starved. After two days of starvation, I could eat leaves and bugs. That's right, leaves and bugs. After a long time, however, it was plants and meat all the way.
"Task two was to look like a human. Three weeks later, completed. At least, human enough to fool anyone who didn't look too closely. Back on Slugenis, we don't usually stand up so high, so that was a difficult task, but I managed.
"Task three: speak like a human. I stole a dictionary, grammar book and human anatomy book to boot; task three was done. At least, once I realised that there was such a thing as sound.
"Task four was by far the hardest. It was to blend in. I needed the right colour skin, the right amount of hair, the right exterior organs. I needed to be able to walk like a human, speak like a human, act like a human. Adapting my outer slime to resemble in texture, colour and attributes human skin was no simple task. Forming ear-like protrusions was simple enough, but for the hair and eye part, I had to resort to some desperate measures. Ready to be disgusted?"
"You bet!" I answered with enthusiasm. He really was going on a tangent about how he managed to survive all this time undetected.
"Well, human eyes are way too advanced to replicate with slime. What with the iris, the lens, that weird coloured part who's name escapes me. Somehow, I don't think a flat blue would look very convincing. So, I grave-robbed a recently buried grave, and stole some eyes."
He paused to let this sink in, and looked at me until I gasp
ed, "You stole a dead person's eyes!?"
"Well, essentially, yes. I couldn't exactly walk around with no eyes, now could I?"
"So, what I'm looking at right now are someone else's eyes?"
"No. That plan didn't exactly work out for me. I ended up stealing some fake eyes, and now I'm using them instead."
I almost didn't want to ask but I had to. "And your hair?"
"Well, I needed hair that would grow. So, I stole some long strands of synthetic hair, all the same colour. I then bundled these strands into clumps, and tied them together. These very clumps are now threaded through small holes in the slime on top of my head. Each day, I push out a tiny bit of each clump, so that over a long period of time, it gives the illusion of growing. When I want it to look like I cut my hair, I simply retract it at night, and the process repeats itself."
"I don't want to sound mean, but that sounds extremely disgusting. Almost as disgusting as Slug genetic breeding vats. Almost."
"Yes, well, it may sound bad, but I had no choice in these matters. I had to do it."
All this time, we'd walked quite a distance away from our car - speaking of that, where did Matthew get this car? Stolen again? - and here we turned around to get back. Although I was thoroughly disgusted, I wasn't quite ready to drop the subject. "So, how did you learn to act like a human?"
"Ahh, that is the most ingenious of them all", he answered, face and eyes near glowing with delight. As much as a face and eyes can glow. And after seeing that expression, I don't care what he said, those were not fake eyes.
"Wait, before you go on, I have to know, do you consciously set your face to look delighted, or does it happen by itself?"
He considered for a moment before replying, "It alternates. This time it was automatic. Anyway, the most ingenious of them all, as I previously stated, was this: in order for me to learn to act human enough to blend in with them, I would have to study them extensively. That would be difficult, and to be honest, quite boring. So, I decided that instead of studying humans to become a human, I would become a human to become a human!"
"Eh?"
"I took most of my slime out of myself, stored it in a secret location, and made myself quite small. Due to the lack of slime. Indeed, I was more brain than slime at this point. Then, I hauled myself to..." he paused for dramatic effect. "A nursery home, and acted like an abandoned baby!" He grinned madly to himself before continuing. "No one expects a baby to know how to act human, so from there I observed, sneaking out every night to put a bit more slime in myself, creating the illusion of growing. Just like the hair. I also had to provide enough oxygen to the slime left behind to last it a day. By the time I was old enough for a normal person to develop a personality, I knew everything there was to know about how to act human. And believe you me, you don't wanna know what those nursery ladies talk about when they think that only the babies can hear them.
"I escaped the nursery home before they could adopt me anywhere - I'd never been adopted because I cried hysterically - albeit tearlessly - at every prospective parent who touched me." He chuckled. "Anyway, there you have it. That is how I learned to act human. Of course, I left a bit of money for the nursery for teaching me so much; they'd effectively saved my life. It's ironic, they thought they were saving a baby's life by looking after it, but they really saved an alien's life by teaching it how to camouflage. Plus, of course, they fed me baby food, which was much easier to digest before I got onto the stronger stuff."
I could just nod dumbly at the onslaught of all this information, but managed to muster the cognitive ability to ask, "Where did you get the money?"
"I stole a lot of small amounts from a lot of places, so no one was severely affected. I felt a... debt to the nursery. After all, it was they who'd named me Matthew."
I nodded dumbly once again. He must have really admired that place if he'd kept the name they'd given him for twenty years. Either that, or he couldn't think of a better one.
And so the afternoon proceeded on like this, until it was early evening. We'd pretty much walked around every street we could find (talking about random stuff), and were now going down a very grungy-looking back alley as a short-cut to the car. Or so Matthew insisted.
"What if we get mugged?" I asked, worried.
"We have no money. What will they take?"
"What if we get kidnapped?"
"We have no family to pay the ransom."
"What if..."
"Look, if anyone tried anything shifty, I'm pretty sure I could beat them in a fight. So don't worry."
"OK", I told him, still unreasonably unsure. To take my mind off it, I asked, "So how stacked up is your body of all these things to complete the illusion anyway?"
"Pretty stacked", he answered. "What with the hair, brain, tunnel ways, stomach, eyes and probably more."
"You have a stomach?"
"Well, not really. You see, Slug slime is acidic..." I gave him an incredulous look before he could continue. "Slightly acidic", he amended. "Very slightly. I may be an alien, but I'm not an Alien, if you know what I mean." I nodded. "Anyway, my stomach is not an organ, but a highly concentrated area of slime in my body, thereby making it somewhat acidic. Therefore, any food that goes there - which of course, I bring there - is digested. It's a bit more complicated than that, but it's basically just like your stomach. Although the process takes some time longer for us."
"Ah. You know, for all your complexities, you Slugs are actually quite simple organisms. You're pretty much made entirely of the same stuff."
"Damn straight. Just like slugs, wouldn't you say?"
"I guess."
By this point, we'd almost exited the alley. A figure was coming in our direction from the other side, in front of us; someone wearing a jacket and hood, with their hands in the pockets. When he approached us, he stopped, pulled his hand out of his pocket to reveal a gun, and pointed it right at us.
I just stared at it, while Matthew sighed and groaned, "You can't be serious."
"Hand over your money", the man said in a gruff, mean voice. I doubted his real voice sounded like that; it must seriously hurt his throat to do it.
"See what I told you!" I almost shouted. "I said not to come down here!"
"Not to worry", Matt replied calmly. How he could be calm with a weapon aimed at him was beyond me. "I am terribly sorry, kind sir, but we do not have any monetary items on our persons at this moment."
The mugger stared at him for a second, then said, "Don't lie. Hand over your wallets and cash, now!"
"You seem to have misunderstood me, sir", Matthew told him, almost mockingly. "I said, we do not have any wallets, nor any cash. It would behoove you to exit our presence now, before you regret it."
"Regret it how?" the man asked.
"Well, as we speak, I am imprinting your face into my memory." He stopped to ponder. "Yes, I believe I could identify you at the nearest police station. Armed robbery is a felon, you understand that don't you?" Matthew smirked at the man so blatantly, that he lost his cool, pounced on him and struck him on the head with his gun. It wasn't too hard a hit, and it didn't appear to do any damage, but Matt staggered back.
The man pulled back and yelled angrily, "Gimme your money right now, or you're dead!"
"I'll teach you to attempt - yes, that's right, attempt - to cause me harm!" Matthew pulled back his fist as if to hit him, and although it was quick, I couldn't help but wonder if he was holding back. After all, I'd seen him in action before, and he could strike a lot faster than that. All of these thoughts were blown out of my head, however, when a bullet was blown out of the gun and decided to lodge itself in the middle of Matt's body.
The Slug Rebellion Page 7
