by Lola StVil
“Okay, if you can sell it to them, I’m in.”
She calls Mason and the two of them proceed to have a very intense conversation. They argue back and forth, but things turn around once she tells him that her mark is glowing. He goes silent on the other end. When he speaks again, whatever he says makes Disney smile and nod.
“Thank you, Mason,” she says as she hangs up. She tells me everything is set and that the team will meet us in front of the loft.
“Good, let’s go,” I reply. But she doesn’t move. She stands in the middle of the room and looks at me.
“Disney?”
“I said I would listen to your Break and I meant it,” she replies.
“You really need to hear my story that badly?”
“No, but something tells me you need to tell it.”
“Okay, later.”
“No, now. Liam, you saved me. Let me start saving you,” she says as she sits back down.
“We don’t have time.”
“For you, I’m making time,” she vows. I sigh and shake my head. It’s clear she’s taking a stand and we aren’t going anywhere if I don’t start talking. I head over to the window because I can’t look her in the eye right now. I focus on the falling snow; it helps to hypnotize me and pull me back to the past, back to where it all started.
“I was basically born into foster care. My biological mother gave me away for reasons she didn’t see fit to explain to the State of Ohio. For the first few years of my life, I went from one lousy foster home to the next. When I was five, I finally got a permanent home. I was placed with the Wilder family. Her name was Nikki, and she was a baker who loved puzzles. Her husband’s name was Lewis; he was a teacher.
“I remember two things about the Wilder household: the scent of fresh baked bread and laughter. There was a lot of laughter in that house. But that stopped a few years later, when Lewis died in a head-on collision. I was in the car with him and I somehow managed to survive. She didn’t want to say it out loud, but it was easy to see she hated me for surviving. It pained her to look at me, so she didn’t. She avoided me at all costs.
I tried to reach out to her in any way I could. I tried to get my mom back, because that’s what she was to me—my mom. But to her I was a living, breathing reminder of what she had lost.
“Soon her depression was so deep; no amount of light could shine down to her. Some days she’d get as far as the living room, and some days she’d never even leave her bed. But things weren’t all bad. There was this really nice guy who lived across the hall from us; his name was Jack. He’d look in on me. He’d give me candy, help me with my homework, and we’d play together.
“On my tenth birthday, the playing changed. We played grown-up games. Games he only wanted to play behind closed doors. He’d touched me in places that I knew he shouldn’t have. And I tried to stop him but he said that if was a good boy, and let him do what he wanted, he’d give my mom something to make my mom better. So I let him do these vile things to me because I wanted her to feel better. I wanted to save her. I couldn’t save Lewis from the crash, but I was going to save my mom.
“I had a clock on the wall with animals painted on it, and I knew when the hour hand of the clock pointed to the bear on the snow, Jack would be home from work and would come over to ‘see’ me. He’d turn the doorknob and come inside my room. I hated it but I didn’t have a choice.
“So, I let Jack do what he wanted to me, and true to his word, he gave my mom something to make her happy again. He gave her these pretty little crystals. He put it in a short clear tube thing. He put the tube in her mouth and she’d smoke it. It was a miracle, after she smoked it, she was so happy. She was laughing and having fun. She was back to her old self. Jack said he’d continue to give it to her if I continued to be a good boy.
“After a few months, I noticed that my mom wasn’t happy anymore, even after she smoked. I started to understand that the crystals weren’t helping her; they were hurting her. She wasn’t eating, she wasn’t sleeping, and she had severe mood swings. She was spiraling so quickly, I didn’t know what to do. I begged Jack to stop giving her the drugs but he wouldn’t. So, I told on him. I told a teacher and she had him arrested. I thought my mom and I were finally safe. We were finally okay. But when you take away the one person an addict counts on to get her fix…
“She would throw things at me, strike me, and call me worthless because I sent her dealer away. She had to go out and get her own supply. Sometimes she’d be gone for days. I’d steal stuff from the corner stores and hoard food from school so I could eat. One night, some guys came over to our apartment, grabbed me, tied my legs and hands together, and then threw me in the back of a van. One of the guys started laughing. He said that I had a really pretty mouth and that they would love me back at ‘The Market.’
“I didn’t know it then but ‘The Market’ was a code name for a sex trafficking ring that specialized in young boys in Cincinnati. They capture these kids and sell them off to the highest bidder. But if they like you, they keep you in-house, for the men to come and sample. And they really liked me.
“There was one repeat customer; we nicknamed him ‘The Dentist.’ He liked to bite. He visited me twice, and both times I tried to kill myself after. They had an auction, and they were going to sell off some of their ‘prize samples.’ And someone bought me—The Dentist. I was going to go home with him. I knew that I would die soon after. There was no way I could make it in that house with that monster.
“There was another boy who was around my age; most of the kids were older. His name was Talon. We always tried to cheer the other one up. He talked about how one day we’d burn it all down. We’d get our revenge. We clung to that dream because we had nothing else. And when he found out The Dentist had bought me and was coming for me, he hid me. They found me, but The Dentist was so pissed, he took Talon instead as a punishment. I begged to go instead of Talon, but they took him away. Talon had switched with me. He took my place in hell.
“When Talon was gone, that was it, I was going to escape or die there. A few days later, I managed to get my hands on something I could use as a weapon—a piece of glass from a beer bottle one of the ‘customers’ had left behind. I waited for the next monster to enter the room, and when he was close enough, I slashed him in the neck and I jumped out the window.
“I was so scared; I wanted to run as far away as I could. But I had to know where they took Talon. I had to rescue him. So, while everyone was out looking for me, I snuck back into the back office where I knew they kept meticulous records. I found the place The Dentist was holding Talon. So when I got to a safe distance, I called the cops and then headed for Talon.
“I found out he got away when The Dentist was arrested for tax evasion. The cops found Talon and sent him to foster care. He escaped, joined a gang, and killed a rival gang member and his whole family. I didn’t know it then, but that’s when he became a demon.
“After the cops busted up the ring, I was able to get my hands on my records. The Market had two types of kids: the ones they took and the ones that were given to them for a price. And according to the records, Nikki Wilder sold me to The Market. I went straight to the home we used to share. I wasn’t sure she’d be there; she could have been dead from an overdose, or moved away. But I had to try and see her.
“I knocked on the door and there she was—Nikki Wilder—now Nikki Blaine. In the two years I was gone, she got off drugs, and was newly wed to a banker with a fancy car and silk ties. She looked at me, and she knew right away that I knew. But I wanted her to say it. I wanted her to admit what she did out loud.
“‘I’m sorry, Liam. It was a long time ago. I’m so sorry,’ she said as I walked closer to her.
“‘How much?’ I asked her as rage traveled down my body. I pictured all the hands that had touched me over the two years I was there. All the times I was brutalized and violated. All the times I begged the gods to take my life. I thought of The Dentist and how it felt t
o be standing in front of him naked and bleed, all for his enjoyment.
“‘How much?’ I asked her.
“‘I was so high at the time; I didn’t know what I was doing. I needed a fix; you don’t know how bad the cravings can get. I tried to offer myself but The Market didn’t want me. They only wanted little boys, you know that,’ she pled.
“‘DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THEY DID TO ME?’ I asked.
“‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’
“‘You sold me so you could get your hands on more meth.’
“‘I’m not the same person anymore. I’m better now. I only have a few hits every now and then.’
“‘They hurt me, Mom. They hurt me so bad…’
“‘It’s not all my fault! You shouldn’t have sent Jack away. He was taking care of me—of us.’
“‘HE RAPED ME!’
“‘Yes, but he was only one person. That’s better than a bunch of different people like at The Market. Why couldn’t you just put up with it—for me?’
“Something in me died at that exact moment. I stopped crying, I stopped shouting. I calmly walked into her house and I looked around. I looked for some sign that she had been thinking of me. There was nothing. No pictures, no school artwork, nothing.
“‘Did you even try to find me?’ I asked.
“‘I thought you were gone.’
“‘You mean you wished it. You wished I were gone.’
“‘I wanted a fresh start. You can understand that, can’t you, Liam?’ she said as she followed me around the house. Pictures of her new husband were spread throughout the house. I walked into the nicely decorated kitchen. The smell of fresh coffee filled the air. Judging by the leftovers, near the butter knife, the happy couple had just dined on bacon, eggs, and toast. There were two cups of coffee on the table, still warm. Guess I just missed her new husband. I sat at the table and calmly ordered her to sit down.
“‘Liam, I’m on my way out, I—’
“‘Sit. Down.’
“She took a deep breath and did what I asked. She looked across the table at me. She told me how much she’d missed me. She said life had been hard without me and how happy she was that we were together again.
“‘How much did you sell me for?’ I asked.
“‘It was a long time ago—I don’t remember.’
“‘YOU REMEMBER, YOU PSYCHOTIC BITCH!’ I shouted as I slammed my fist against the table. The plates and silverware shook on the table. I glared at her with hate that defied words.
“‘How much did you sell me for—Mom?’
“‘Forty-one dollars.’
“I grabbed the butter knife and flew across the kitchen table, and I stabbed her in the face—forty-one times. I kept yelling ‘Why? Why couldn’t you love me more than the drugs? Why? Why?’ A few moments later, my black wings grew in…”
I don’t realize that I’m now sitting up, yelling as if my mother is lying here before me. It’s Disney’s hand on my shoulder that brings me back to the present.
“Liam,” she says softly but with urgency. “It’s over. It’s all over now,” she says as she places her head on my shoulder and holds on tight.
“That’s just it, baby; in my head, it’s never over…”
I honestly believe that if it were up to Disney, she’d hold on to me forever. She keeps repeating that it wasn’t my fault and that I’m the victim in the story. I have never once seen it that way. Hearing her say it wasn’t my fault makes me feel odd. She doesn’t understand that I had something to do with it. I tell her that I must have sent signals to our neighbor or something. I started it in some way that I wasn’t aware of, and it’s on me.
“Liam, it’s not on you. You were a child. He was an adult. And your mother…argh, that selfish bitch! How could she say those things to you? ARGH! I wish you’d kept her alive so I could beat the shit out of her.” I can’t help but smile; however, it quickly fades.
“There are things that went on in the Market that were so vile…I tried to focus on the fact that my mother was somewhere out there, looking for me. So when the day came and I finally went back home, I was elated. But when I went to my mother’s house, I found that she forgot about me. And I just…snapped,” I admit.
“I’m so sorry this happened. I’m sorry that with everything you’ve faced, I made you go back to that place.”
“You let me in and, well…it was my turn,” I reply. She holds me tight; I tell her that if I were human, she would have crushed me already.
“Baby, you’re gonna flatten me to death.”
“Too bad, Kane, I’m not done holding you. Suck it up,” she teases. I laugh and ask her if she’s going to literally hold me forever.
“I’m not holding you. I’m holding the ten-year-old you,” she replies as she finally pulls away.
“He could have used you. He was kind of…lonely.” I mumble mostly to myself.
“Did you do what you planned? Did you two burn down the house?” she asks.
“Many times. But it never burns fully. I don’t know why.”
“Well to hell with that. I’ll come with you and go all ‘Phoenix’ from X-Men on that horrid house,” she says.
“Aw, you’re so cute when you threaten to destroy property for me.”
“I’m serious! Let’s go and burn that shit down!” she says, jumping off the bed.
“Raincheck. We gotta go,” I remind her. She nods and together we head back to Brooklyn.
***
Her team is waiting for us in the alleyway near their loft. When we appear, they all look at us like we just committed some kind of crime by being seen together. Screw them. Disney makes eye contact with Quinn for the first time since the memory stone meltdown. Quinn is about to speak, but Disney holds up her hand, signing for her to remain quiet.
“Not now. We have to get this veil. But when this mission is over, you will leave the loft.”
“What? Wait! I don’t even remember doing what I did,” Quinn says.
“So that makes it okay?” Disney barks.
“No, what I did was unspeakable. I’m trying to tell you that I’m sorry. I was in such a bad place,” Quinn pleads.
“When we get back from this mission, if you don’t move out, you’ll be in a far worse place—trust me,” Disney warns.
“Quinn, honey, not now. Let’s just focus on the mission,” Regal says as he places a hand on her shoulder. There are tears in her eyes but she nods in agreement.
“Lissy, I am so sorry. I can’t believe I hurt your mom. I can’t believe I hurt anyone,” Langston says as she glares at Quinn.
“It’s not your fault, Langston,” Disney says as she takes the blond girl’s hand.
“We need to do this later,” Mason says as he glares at me.
“You have something to say?” I venture.
“Yeah; you fuck this up or betray us, I’ll rip out your damn tongue and feed it to you,” Mason informs me.
“Aw, I didn’t know you cared,” I reply with a smug smile.
Dick.
“No matter what else is going on, for right now, we are all on the same side. So let’s act like it,” Disney says.
“We’re heading to the afterlife with a demon originally hired to kill us. Yup, nothing strange about that,” Perry says.
“We’re wasting time. Let’s go,” Saudia says. We all link hands and I focus on the crappy, ominous realm that is the afterlife…
***
We all reappear in a desolate landscape of the afterlife. It’s as I remember, and fear. Forbidding, bleak. Mist-shrouded landmarks of twisted rock and lightless valleys, monstrous peaks in the distance. And over everything, a palpable sense of doom and hopelessness.
“Cheery place! I wonder if the decorator is available for parties,” Perry chimes in.
“Shut up,” I say through my teeth. “It may look empty and desolate, but there are things here, slumbering things that aren’t happy about trespassers.”
“So, no hooting a
nd hollering?”
I turn and fix him with a look that says I’m about to unleash my sword and personally hack his tongue out.
“Listen to him,” Atlas whispers. “I sense it too. Walk quietly, and let’s get through this place.”
I point ahead, towards a particularly jagged set of peaks, barely visible in the distance, that look like dragons’ teeth. Past leagues of barren, rock- and crevasse-strewn ground, and a river that I know is there. A river that makes me shudder, but we’ll cross that when we get there. Literally.
“Let’s go.”
“It’ll take forever,” Regal says.
“You and Mason can fly us,” Saudia says. “And I can teleport some of us part of the way.”
I shake my head. “Go ahead, Mason. Try it.”
He narrows his eyes at me, then flexes his muscles, pops out his wings, makes a great leap into the air—and promptly smashes down a few dozen yards away. Not a bad jump, but…
He glares back. “What the hell?”
“No-fly zone,” I say. “Something about the atmosphere and gravity here. It’s not Earth, obviously, and things don’t work the same. You may still have some of your powers, but I know flying is out. And teleportation…maybe, but you won’t be able to move all of us.”
“And it’ll exhaust me,” Saudia admits.
“Quit talking, let’s move.” Atlas is already ahead of us, striding past Mason. She’s walking fast, and that reminds me…
“Time’s not the same here, either.” I point ahead as I walk faster, catching up. “It may look like days’ of travel time, but we’ll be there faster than you think. Trust me.”
“Great,” Perry quips. “But so you know, I’m still gonna ask ‘Are we there yet?’ every five minutes.”
Quinn jabs him with her shoulder as she passes. “Do that and I’ll bury you in the ground. We’ll rescue you if we ever come back this way.”
With that, Perry lowers his head, and we walk. As fast as we can, but still trying to keep quiet. I sense there are things under the ground, sleeping. I’d like to keep it that way. So we go ahead as quiet as we can.
