by J. P. Comeau
“She’s better than all of us,” I murmured.
If you want her so badly, just fucking tell her.
“Maybe I will then,” I whispered.
I didn’t know if I would. As I leaned against the smooth wall of my kitchen, I stared at my open pantry. It was empty. Barren. Filled with dust and cobwebs. I clocked a half-empty bag of flour, a couple cans of green beans, and a sucker. A fucking red sucker.
Kelly’s favorite.
“If you want her so badly, just fucking tell her,” I breathed.
Then, I laid down on the cold, marble kitchen floor and passed out.
5
Kelly
“No, not like that. Damn it,” I murmured.
I scratched out the proposed idea and started sketching what I had initially brainstormed.
“Quit changing things,” I hissed.
I started sketching out other ideas of cute little pajama shorts and pants in the middle of crunching numbers. The website design for my online boutique had eaten up so much more of my budget than I had realized. And because of that, my business partner--and my only other investor--was making changes to my clothing designs she thought were cost appropriate.
At the expense of the fashion itself.
“Damn it, I’ll just email her,” I whispered.
Horns honked outside, and people were already cursing at one another, and it was only ten on a Wednesday morning. I tried to bury myself in work to not think about last night, but it was hard. I typed away on my keyboard and sent the email off to my business partner, letting her know not to touch my designs ever again. Not unless she wanted her money back and to be forced out.
But, you know, in a kind way.
I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath. Then I slid off my bed and walked over to my window, closing it as quickly as I could. I pulled the blinds before I went to sit back down. And as I picked up my sketches, my cell phone started lighting up.
Usually, whenever my phone was on silent, I didn’t pick it up for anyone. I mean, there was a reason it was on silent in the first damn place. It was Roxy, though. Probably wanting to talk about last night.
And I really wanted to talk about last night.
“Hey there,” I said as I picked up the phone.
“Another working morning?” she asked.
I paused. “Where are you, by the way? I don’t hear you in the apartment.”
She snickered. “Girl, I’m gettin’ bagels and coffee. Where the hell do you think I am?”
I giggled. “Can you grab me a--.”
“Blueberry bagel with honey cream cheese and an everything bagel with ham and regular cream cheese? Yep. It’s already been done. I’m also heading back with an entire carafe of coffee from this place. Because I don’t know about you, but I need the pick-me-up after last night.”
“And I’m glad you brought that up because I really want to talk about that.”
“Girl, I knew you would. What’s up?”
I sighed. “Does Clint always get that drunk?”
I heard rustling on the other end of her phone before Roxy came back to the receiver.
“Sorry. Crossing the street. What was that?”
I groaned. “Never mind.”
“I’m just kidding. Damn. Kelly, I’m really sorry about Clint’s demeanor the last night. I don’t know his history or anything like that, but I promise you that’s not who he is.”
“How can you promise me that? Do you know him well or something?”
She paused. “I mean, no. But, I know Brenden and Zane always speak very highly of him. He’s just getting out of the Navy, so he’s got standards.”
“Because he was a military man, he’s got standards?”
“Don’t they all?”
I shrugged. “The last man I went on a date with was ex-military, and he had his shoes on the wrong feet.”
“Yikes.”
“Yep.”
“Look, I’m not letting last night deter us from the plan. We’re getting you laid. You have my word.”
I shook my head. “Roxy, it’s really not that big of a--.”
“It’s a very big deal, Kelly. This is holding you back in your dating life.”
“No, I’m holding to my own standard. It’s the men I’m dating that see it as a requirement.”
“Yeah. And that isn’t going to change. You aren’t in high school anymore. Men want to be emotionally and physically close to their women. You aren’t going to find a man in Vegas that wants to date you but is totally okay with never having sex, ever.”
I scoffed. “When in the world did I say--?”
“You get my point. Look, Kelly. I love you. I want what’s best for you. And right now, you’re not living life at your best.”
“Says who?”
“Says you, every time you come home from a date crying because you don’t know why things fell through. Or you don’t know why you got stood up, or you don’t know why guys always ‘expect something’ when they invite you back to their place for a nightcap.”
I sighed. “Okay, okay. I get your point.”
“I love you. And if Clint isn’t who you want to lose your virginity to, then we’ll find you, someone. But Clint is a good man. You know I’ve always been a great judge of character, and I know--deep in my soul--that he’s good. He’ll treat you with care, and he’ll be gentle. I know it.”
“You’ve always been good at reading people.”
“He just had a bit too much to drink. That’s all. He’s home, he’s got a new job with his brothers, and he was probably celebrating more than anything. We’ll make this happen. All right?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Sounds good, yeah.”
“Great. Wonderful. Okay, I’m heading into the elevator now. I’m dropping this stuff off and heading right back out, though.”
“Wait, what? Why?”
She giggled. “Because I have plans, crazy! I’m going shopping, then I have a spa appointment this afternoon, then I’m having a late lunch with Mom at a last-minute charity event.”
“Ew.”
“Yep. So, don’t work too hard and don’t drink too much coffee. Your heart will explode, and I don’t feel like dealing with a dead sister right now.”
“Uh, thanks?”
“Mwah. Kisses. I’ll put everything in the kitchen, and you can come out whenever. Love ya, sweet cheeks!”
She hung up the phone, and I shook my head. I still wasn’t sure about the grand plan to get me to give up my V-card, but knowing Roxy held Clint in such high regard settled my gut a little bit. If there was anyone that was dead-on with reading people, it was her. In my entire life, I’d never known her to judge someone’s character wrong, even if she’d only spent a few minutes with them. So, for her to have such high praise for Clint started my gears turning.
Maybe that’s what I need for my first time.
I mean, first times were always clumsy, right? Probably a bit painful. Awkward, to say the least. The last thing I needed was some guy expecting me to know what I wanted and instead get, well, what I had to offer. Which was nothing. If Clint understood all of that about me already and was still willing to walk me through it, why not? What did I have to lose with a good-looking older man that wanted to treat me with care and walk me through one of the critical facets of adult relationships?
Brenden. You’ll lose Brenden.
I saw my phone light up again in the corner of my eye, and I sighed. That was the kicker. Clint was Brenden’s brother. And for as long as I had crushed on Brenden, I knew I didn’t stand a chance with him. But, the idea of throwing away any slim chance I might have with him in the future made me sick to my stomach.
Because surely, sleeping with his brother was a complete deal-breaker. Right?
My phone lit up again, and I figured it was Roxy. But, when I saw I had three missed text messages, I furrowed my brow. I swiped up on my phone screen and navigated to the messages, only for my heart to skip a few beat
s.
It was Brenden.
Brenden was messaging me.
Brenden: Hey, you up?
Brenden: Hungry for an early lunch?
Brenden: Food and drinks are on me. Meet me at Hard Rock.
“Well, thanks for asking,” I murmured.
Still, I kept staring at his messages. I looked over at my laptop that still had the mock-up of my website on it. I cocked my head and gave it a careful stare. It looked nice enough, but something was still missing.
I have to get at least some work done today.
I placed my phone down and quickly made some tweaks. I made the home page a bit brighter and moved the sales advertisements to the top middle of the second page. After saving it, I shot it back to the web designer with a few more notes at the bottom of how to tweak the site’s navigation system. Then, I clicked over to my emails.
I didn’t have a response back from my business partner. So, I took that as a win and slid off the bed.
It took me a lot longer than necessary to get ready to meet Brenden. I cycled through four different outfits before settling on one that was casual but sexy. With high-waisted black pants and peekaboo-toe black heels, I smiled at myself in the mirror. The thin yellow belt brought a pop of color to the entire outfit, especially since I paired everything with a sleeveless white blouse with ruffles streaking down the center of it. I pulled my hair back to the crown of my head and twisted it into a bun. Then, I found some dangling yellow earrings to match the belt and even dusted my cheekbones and nose with a bit of shimmering makeup to make me look sun-kissed.
Finally, after a spritz of my cotton blossom body spray, I was ready to head out the door.
Getting to Hard Rock Cafe wasn’t the issue, because I didn’t live far from it. The problem was getting the nerve to step inside the place. Why did Brenden want to see me? I mean, it wasn’t like we didn’t meet up or anything. But, Roxy was usually with us as well. Was Zane coming? Holy shit, was Clint going to be here?
“Just get in there, scaredy-cat,” I murmured.
And already, I knew what Roxy was talking about.
The fear I had--the lack of confidence--all stemmed from one place. My inability to get out of the car stemmed from a lack of confidence in being able to entertain Brenden by myself. I closed my eyes and dug deep. I tried to find the root of my fear. I delved into my soul as I evened out my breathing, trying desperately to prove her wrong.
But I couldn’t. Because when I sank into the pit of my soul, there it was. Sneering at me. Teasing me. Pointing its finger and laughing at me.
You’re just a child. You’ve got no business doing something like this. Grow up first, Kelly. Gotta grow up to be a grown-up.
My eyes snapped open, and my lips downturned. I hiked my purse up my shoulder and started up the steps toward the front doors. I wasn’t a girl. I was a woman. A thriving, intelligent, level-headed woman. Any man would be lucky to be with me. Any man should thank his stars if I turned my head in his direction.
“Just don’t lose your nerve,” I murmured.
“Welcome to Hard Rock! How many?” the hostess asked.
“Actually, my party is already he--.”
“Kelly!”
Brenden’s voice soared above the crowd, and I saw him flagging me down near the bar. I moved away from the hostess, entranced by the man’s beauty, as I moved closer to him. A smile crossed my cheek as he stood to greet me. He wrapped me up in a hug I almost melted into as I closed my eyes. He held me tight. Very tight. And he held me for a while. A long while. I settled my head against his shoulder, and I could’ve sworn I felt him sigh, and it made me wonder what he was thinking. It made me wonder what he was feeling.
Because Brenden had never hugged me with more than one arm. Nor had he ever hugged me for that long.
“It’s good to see you,” I murmured.
He finally stood up. “Good to see you, too. You look great, Kelly.”
I smiled. “Thanks. And you know you always clean up well.”
He winked. “Don’t I know it.”
I tried not to go weak in the knees. “So, what’s up? Everything okay?”
“Here. Have a seat. Would you like a drink other than water?”
I shook my head. “Water’s fine for me. I haven’t even had coffee yet today, so maybe if they have some here?”
“One coffee coming up. Have you eaten?”
I shook my head. “Nope.”
“Well, order whatever you want. Food’s on me.”
I nodded. “I appreciate that. But why am I here?”
He sat down in front of me. “What do you mean?”
“You and I never get together, just one on one. Is there something wrong?”
“Why would you think that?”
A waiter approached. “Can I get you two anything?”
I looked up at him. “A cup of coffee, if you have any?”
He scribbled on his notepad. “Sir? Would you like another whiskey?”
I paused. “Another one?”
Brenden chuckled. “Just water for me, thanks. Are you ready to order, Kelly?”
“How many drinks have you--?”
He turned his attention to the waiter. “I’d like a massive bowl of your cajun chicken pasta, with a slice of carrot cake for dessert.”
Something was wrong. “And I’ll take a large portion of your grilled chicken salad, with a side of bacon cheese fries and ranch to dip it in.”
The waiter nodded. “Anything for dessert?”
I shook my head. “No, thank you.”
Brenden leaned forward. “You can split mine if you’d like some.”
I nodded. “Thank you.”
The waiter walked away, and I watched Brenden settle back into his seat. But, his eyes wouldn’t quite meet mine. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. And I no longer enjoyed being in the dark.
“Spit it out,” I said.
His eyes found mine. “I heard about your predicament last night, and what the girls tried to talk you into with my brother.”
I sighed. “Fabulous.”
“I think I have a solution to your issue, though.”
“Oh, really now.”
He nodded. “Yep. A solution that doesn’t require Clint.”
“I have to admit, that’s a bit of a relief to me.”
He chuckled. “Clint has an acquired taste. He’s a good man. He’s got good morals. But, he’s rough around the edges. He’s got a lot of experience, and if he’s not careful, he could hurt you.”
“And that would be bad.”
“Very bad.”
I nodded slowly. “So, what do you propose? Even though I’m not sure how I feel about my virginity being the focus of everyone’s conversations lately.”
“I propose that I’m the one to solve all of your problems.”
I narrowed my eyes. “That’s never good coming from you.”
He gasped playfully. “Oh, Kelly. Your words wound me.”
But, part of me was curious. And a massive part of me hoped he was involved with that solution of his.
“So, are you going to spit it out? Or, are you going to keep me on edge through our whole meal?”
And when that mischievous grin of his spread across his face, I knew I was in for a world of trouble.
Trouble I just might willingly get myself into.
6
Brenden
“I have something to admit, first,” I said.
“Oh, boy. You’re going to make this a whole big thing, aren’t you?” Kelly rolled her eyes.
“I am. But, that’s because what I’m proposing is serious. And I want you to really consider it.”
“Consider me, well, considering.”
I chuckled. “I intentionally got Clint wasted last night, so the plan couldn't go through.”
Her brow ticked. “Wait, what?”
“I know it’s sneaky and conniving, but I wasn’t comfortable with something like that. And something
tells me you weren’t quite comfortable with it, either.”
“Why would you think that?”
I grinned. “Would you really have been comfortable sleeping with my older brother? Some dude you just met? Just to get rid of your virginity like the girls are trying to get you to do?”
“They mean well, Brenden.”
“Trust me, I know they do. I’m sure Roxy sees this as some kind of plot to get you to live life, and Karina wants you to gain some confidence.”
“Actually, it’s kind of the other way around. But, essentially…”
I held my hands out. “See? I know more than you think.”
She smiled. “Is this when you tell me the plan you have to get me laid? Because something tells me you’re not talking about dropping this topic altogether. Oh, and don’t think I’m not pissed off about last night.”
“Wait, what?”
She leaned forward. “You inserted yourself into this situation for me when I never asked you to. Even though the girls are a bit crazy, I was okay with the plan. Your brother made me comfortable, actually, and he also gave me an out. You butted into something that was none of your business.” Kelly shook her finger at me. “So, don’t think you’re off the hook for that.”
“Well then, I take it you’re not interested in making me part of your plan.”
Her eye twitched. “What?”
The waiter interrupted. “Here’s your coffee, and your food is coming right out behind me.”
Kelly looked up at him. “Oh, thank you. Do you have cream and sugar as well?”
“It’s coming with the food, ma’am. He should be--.”
Another waiter popped up. “Cajun chicken pasta and a slice of carrot cake?”
I raised my hand. “That’s me.”
Kelly reached for the cream and sugar. “The rest of it is mine. Thank you so much.”
“You two need anything else?”
She looked at me. “We might need a body bag. I’m still debating.”
The waiters both glanced at me and tried to bury their smiles.
“Well, if there’s anything we can do, just let us know.”
I nodded. “Appreciate it. Thanks.”
