by K. C. Crowne
My mom sighed and rolled her eyes, turning to focus on the room around us.
“It’s a nice size, we should be able to fit three cribs in here. How long until we find out the sex of the babies?”
“In a few weeks,” I muttered. “Not that it matters. I plan on going gender-neutral for everything.”
My mom was old-fashioned - blue for boys, pink for girls. But I’d like to think I was above all that.
“Don’t tell me you plan on painting everything drab grey. I saw a photo of something like that in a magazine recently. It was so cold and sterile.”
“I honestly don’t know what I plan to do yet. I’ll meet with an interior designer and get things squared away.” I wanted the room to look nice, sure, but functionality was more of a concern for me. I also couldn’t be bothered to pick out paint colors and match things, plus look into all the latest products to determine which was best. I’d hire someone to do that for me.
Which clearly didn’t please my mother.
“I can do it,” she said. “Don’t hire anyone.”
“Since when did you become a designer?” I chuckled. “You're a cardiologist, what do you know about nurseries?”
“Since I suddenly have a lot of time on my hands and have been looking at design magazines and books,” she said.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, reminding me that I was meeting Jeremiah for drinks. He’d called earlier that day to check on me, and we decided to grab a beer. I knew my mother wouldn’t take me pushing her out the door easily, but that’s what happens when you continually stop by unannounced.
“Alright, I have to head out,” I said. “Thank you for the gifts.”
“Don’t worry about it. There will be plenty more where those came from,” she said with a smile.
I loved seeing my mother happy and excited. I wasn’t doing this just for her, but I’m glad I could make her dream of being a grandmother come true. It was just the two of us now, and I knew she got lonely sometimes - but the good news was, she would have three grandkids to keep her company before long.
I ushered my mom out the door, grabbing my jacket along the way. I needed this outing to clear my head after everything that happened, and there was no way I would cancel on Jeremiah after leaving him in the dust the last time we got together. We also had a hunting trip to plan, but I was starting to think there’d be no chance for that - at least not before the babies were born. I didn’t want to be too far away in case Felicity needed me. Her being at her place was far enough, I didn’t want to be lost in the woods during a snowstorm just in case something happened.
Ooo000ooo
“I don’t get it, man.” Jeremiah shook his head as he studied my reaction to what he’d just said.
“What don’t you get?”
“You have a good woman, someone you care about and obviously cares about you. You’re attracted to one another. You trust her to have your children, but you don’t trust her to be in a relationship with you?”
“Well, when you put it that way-- Yeah, it does sound ridiculous. But I just don’t know, Jeremiah.” I took a swig from my bottle.
“What don’t you know?”
“How can you be sure someone is the one? People change, and can you ever really know someone else, fully.”
“People do change,” Jeremiah said, “But here’s the thing, change doesn’t have to be bad. I’m sure you’re not the same man you were at twenty-eight.”
“Not at all, and that’s one reason I worry. Felicity may not be the same person in a few years, she’s still so young--”
“She’s not that young. If you were talking about a twenty-year-old with no life experience, sure, but at twenty-eight, and a business owner, she’s got a good head on their shoulders. She might grow and change a bit, but it’s nothing huge - and when you’re together long enough, the two of you kind of grow and change together.”
“But what if we don’t?”
Jeremiah sighed and continued shaking his head. “Your parents stayed married until your dad passed away, right?”
“Yes, but they stayed together more out of convenience than anything else, I believe.”
Jeremiah cocked his brows. “Oh yeah? Why do you say that?”
“Because I saw it. They rarley interacted, they had separate lives. Dad continued working until he was diagnosed with cancer. Mom retired awhile back and preferred gardening and traveling alone. They even slept in different bedrooms.”
“Not all relationships turn out that way,” Jeremiah said. “Maybe that’s what the two of them wanted. Did they seem happy?”
“I guess so.” Thinking back, I couldn’t recall any major drama between my parents. There wasn’t much affection, but neither of my parents were overly affectionate or touchy-feely. They didn’t fight, and at the end, my mother still seemed distraught. Still, I couldn’t imagine that the two of them were happy - were they? It sometimes felt like my mom stayed because it was better than being alone. Something I always promised myself I wouldn’t do.
“Are you happy being alone, Abe?”
I wanted to tell him I was, and up until recently, I thought I was. I thought having children would fill that void. Unlike a partner, your children were always tied to you, no matter what.
“I don’t know,” I said.
“You know what I think?”
I didn’t even have to ask. I already knew what Jeremiah thought. But he continued anyway.
“I think you need to stop being a chickenshit and take a chance. Stop being afraid of what-if and just go for it. Worst case scenario, the two of you don’t work out. But at least you can say you tried.”
“Maybe.” I couldn’t believe I was even saying that. But I meant it. It was something worth considering.
“Felicity is a good woman. She’s one of my wife’s best friends,” he said. “So I’ve gotten to know her, and you really can’t do much better than her. I mean, since Elle is off the market and all.”
He cracked a smile. I saw what he had with Elle, who happened to be the same age as Felicity. In many ways, our situations mirrored one another. If anything, his was more complex since Elle was also the daughter of his best friend.
Maybe he was right. Maybe I was being a chickenshit.
“Alright, you got me. I’ll give it a shot. I just don’t know where to start.”
“Maybe start at square one. I mean, sure, you’ve skipped a few steps already by knocking her up, but maybe backtrack a bit and take her out on a real date.”
A real date? It had been so long since I’d went on one of those.
I finished my beer and noticed Jeremiah was also low.
“Let me get us another round,” I said, standing up from the booth.
Jeremiah had picked up the first ones, so he didn’t fight with me this time. I walked over to the bar and waved down the bartender. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of blonde hair and naturally turned, wondering if it was Felicity.
The place also served food, so it wasn’t just a bar. Not the nicest place in town - Felicity’s diner beat this place, hands down. That’s why I really didn’t expect it to be Felicity when I turned my head.
But it was.
She was sitting down in a corner booth, and she wasn’t alone.
Levi, one of the local fire fighters, was sitting beside her. His arm was draped over her shoulder. I stared for a long time until Felicity lifted her head up. I looked away just in time, hoping she didn’t see me.
What was she doing with Levi, I thought to myself? I gripped the side of the bar, my entire body tense. He was closer to her age, and sure, they probably went to school together. They probably went way back.
I found myself seething with jealousy, even though I had no right to be. It took everything in me not to stride across the room and punch the shit out of him.
Not that I had any right.,
Felicity wasn’t mine. I’d made it clear to her the other day that I wanted nothing serious. But did she reall
y have to go out with another guy while pregnant with my babies? She couldn’t wait a few goddamn months?
The bartender dropped off the beers and I paid, hurrying back to the table. My back was to Felicity, and the way the bar was laid out, she was blocked from Jeremiah’s view, thankfully.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I lied, handing him his beer.
So much for that date though.
Felicity
Earlier that afternoon
I paced my office, nibbling on my fingernail as I listened to the voicemail from Chester Garrison again. Normally I would have deleted it without a second thought, but today was different.
After everything that had happened with Abe and with how I was growing attached to both him and the babies, I really wasn’t sure I could stay in Liberty after their birth. The very idea of seeing him out and about with our children, seeing glimpses of their lives without every getting to know them, crushed me. I thought I could handle it, but now, I wasn’t so sure.
And I didn’t think I had much of a choice than hand over the children to Abe. Either that or keep them and break the agreement we had. He’d said I could change my mind at any time prior to conceiving the babies, but now? Well, now it was a lot murkier. I didn’t think Abe was the type of man who would give up all rights to his children, not after everything he’d done to try and get them in the first place.
It was a mess. And I couldn’t believe it, but I was seriously thinking about leaving Liberty. For good.
“Hi Felicity, this is Chester Garrison. I wanted to call and set up a meeting to see if we could come to an agreement. I see that you’re expecting - congratulations, by the way - and thought you may be more interested in selling. Give me a call back at--”
I hit the skip button. The next message is what really had me considering meeting with Chester. I listened to it for the second time as well.
“Hi Ms. James. This is Stephan Montagne. You interned with me several years ago, at my restaurant in New York City. I’m opening a new restaurant in a few months, and I’m looking for a head chef, and of course I thought of you. I’d love to talk about the opportunity.”
Stephen Montagne. Jesus fucking Christ. Yes, he was right. I worked for his restaurant while in college, and I met him briefly between tapings of his cooking show on Food Network. He was everything I had always wanted to be, and I was starstruck when we met. I worked mostly with his husband, Nico, who was brilliant himself. Having the opportunity to work with the two of them - alongside them and at one of their restaurants - would be an amazing opportunity that few would pass up.
Except I had no desire to work for someone else, no matter who they were. I liked owning my own place, doing my thing, coming up with my own menus. And New York City, while nice, was no Liberty. I loved my small town where I knew everyone and people truly appreciated a good meal. There were hundreds of fine dining restaurants in New York City, and while this new one might be hot for a while, it was one of many.
I liked being in Liberty, carving out my own niche and seeing people I’d grown up with day in and day out.
But, of course, that would change in a few months once the babies were born. People would ask questions. Everyone would know I was the mother to Abe’s kids, except the children themselves, of course. It would be a secret I’d have to live with, and I wasn’t sure I could do it.
I wasn’t sure I could lie to my babies.
I wasn’t sure I could handle not being part of their lives.
I had intended to do this to kickstart my future, to allow me to be free and build something better for myself. But staying here in Liberty meant being confronted with what I’d lost nearly every single day.
I picked up the phone and dialed the number.
“Hi there. This is Felicity James. You wanted to talk to me?”
Ooo000ooo
I didn’t dare have the meeting at my diner. I didn’t want any of my customers or employees to overhear what we were talking about. The bar was better. The music was fairly loud, it was easy to be tucked away in a dark corner, and, well, it didn’t feel sacrilegious. Yes, I felt bad having such a discussion inside of my diner, it felt like I was betraying it or something. As silly as it sounded, I felt better meeting with Chester somewhere else.
I walked inside and took the first empty booth I could find. I kept checking my phone, hoping maybe Chester would cancel and say he was no longer interested. I knew it was unlikely, especially since he’d been on my ass for months now.
Truth be told, I wasn’t even sure what I was planning on doing. I didn’t really want to take the job in New York City, but I thought maybe I could get enough from Chester this time - with all the improvements - to start fresh somewhere else. My head was spinning with all the different options, none of them really appealing to me, truly.
But I agreed to hear Chester out.
He showed up a few minutes late for the meeting. He was dressed in a business suit, but nothing too expensive. He liked to appear rich, but truthfully, his family had nothing on the developers that had been chased out of town already. He was more like a vulture, picking at whatever was left.
I never noticed how much he resembled a rat until he sat down across from me. He smiled, but it felt more predatory than anything else.
“Good evening, Felicity. Glad to see you’ve come to your senses.”
I laced my fingers together in front of me. “I didn’t say I wanted to sell yet, just that I was open to hear your new offer.”
“My new offer? The price hasn’t changed, sweetheart,” he chuckled. “If anything, I’d be doing you a favor.”
“Doing me a favor?” I raised my brows. “Bullshit. The restaurant is back up and running, everything is fixed. There’s tens of thousands of dollars of improvements in that building.”
“But we both know I have no interest in the building. Only the land beneath it. The improvements aren’t worth shit to me.”
I kicked my chin out, crossing my arms in front of my chest. “Well then, I guess we don’t have a deal then.”
The idea of him tearing down the building, which had been in Liberty for as long as I could remember - long before I turned it into what it was today.
My diner might be somewhat new to Liberty, but the building itself was practically historic.
And I wasn’t about to be low-balled either. I knew I deserved better than that.
“Really? You think you’re going to be able to run your business while pregnant with triplets?”
The only drawback of living in the small town was everyone knowing your damn business. “I’ll find a way, yes.”
“And afterward, what about then?”
I knew that Chester was thinking I’d be raising my babies. That’s what he likely meant. But of course, the question was still up in the air - what was I going to do after giving birth if I couldn’t stay here?
My hands began shaking, and I was on the verge of crying. Not because anything Chester had said, not really. But because of everything. I had so many choices to make, so many different paths, and I couldn’t be sure what the right one was.
“Please leave,” I said, hoping he’d get the hell out of sight before the tears began falling.
“Ooh I struck a nerve, didn’t I?”
“No, this has nothing to do with you.” And that was true. I wasn’t crying because Chester Garrison was a bottom-feeding scum hoping to make money off a desperate pregnant woman. No, I was crying because I couldn’t believe I actually thought this was a good idea. I actually entertained the idea of selling the place, that I was prepared to leave Liberty behind.
And I still was.
But I wouldn’t be selling to Chester.
Chester steepled his fingers in front of his face and leaned in closer to me. He opened his mouth, but before the garbage could fall out, a familiar face stepped up to the table.
“Is this man bothering you, Felicity?” Levi asked me.
Levi was a big man,
much larger than Chester. He was a firefighter and could carry full-grown men out of burning buildings. Chester was, well, nowhere near as strong or as noble as all that. I watched as Chester weighed his options, his smirk faltering.
“I was just leaving, actually.”
“Yes, yes you were,” I said, wiping my eyes.
Chester got up and walked away, and I let out a sigh of relief. I had forgotten all about Levi for a second, who was still standing there.
“Are you okay?”
I wanted to lie, to tell him that I was fine - but before the words came out, the tears began to fall. I let out a sob, covering my face with my hands. Levi slipped into the booth beside me, putting an arm on my shoulder.
I’d never seen Levi as anything more than a friend, so it felt weird.
“Don’t worry,” he said, chuckling. “I’m not coming on to you. Mallory and I got back together; we’re getting married next summer. I’m just worried about you.”
“Thanks, Levi,” I said, wiping away the tears and relaxing a bit.
It was nice having a friend there, even someone I didn’t know all that well. It was nice not being alone for a little while, as I pulled myself together again.
Levi was good looking, sure, but he was no Abe.
And that was part of my problem - I feared that no one would ever match up to Abe.
Abe
I swung open the door to the diner and marched straight to the counter. It wasn’t my usual time for stopping by, it was mid-day. Felicity was no longer opening, and I only figured she was there now because I stopped by her place first.
Allison greeted me at the counter. “Hey Abe,” she said. “What can I help you with?”
“I’m here to see Felicity.”
Allison nodded and walked toward the back. I tapped my fingers on the countertop. Did she not think I’d find out? After seeing her at the bar with Levi, I’d given her some space. But the fact that I had to hear the latest news from Jeremiah who’d heard it from Elle who’d heard it from Leah pissed me off.
