“Just give it to me.”
With great hesitation, Toddberry handed the console to his sister. He had never let another human touch the thing as long as he’d owned it. Elizabella took a deep breath and pressed start. Toddberry and Larry the Lizard watched on, silently.
A little computerised plip sound was heard. Elizabella smiled.
“There you go!” she said, handing the console back.
Toddberry looked at it. The big evil King Green Bum Frog was lying dead on the screen, his crown and sceptre by his side, crosses in his eyes.
Toddberry couldn’t believe it. Neither could Elizabella.
“How did you do that?” he asked.
“I’m not sure . . .” she said, shrugging. She genuinely had no idea what she had done or pressed. It was a total fluke. But somehow, with a slip of the fingers, she had managed to slay Toddberry’s nemesis. “Anyway, thanks for lending me the pool cover!”
Toddberry was so shocked at what she had done he had forgotten what he’d agreed to. He started grumbling.
“Don’t worry,” Elizabella reassured her brother. “By the time anyone else works out the cover is missing, there’ll be plenty going on in Bilby Creek to distract them. I promise.”
After seeing Elizabella, Miss Duck had gone straight to the library and borrowed a book called Baking Bugs and Other Insect Delicacies. She had flicked through the pages, learning exactly which insects were safe and which ones were to be left alone. And the more she learned, the more inspired she was.
Now, several nights later, Miss Duck was at home, marching up and down the kitchen, completely surrounded by experiments. She was smoking spiders, cooling caramel on ants, crumbling roasted crickets, frying up bee larvae in butter and sugar, and skewering grasshoppers. She wondered where she might be without a friend like Elizabella.
“Probably living a quiet existence somewhere with my feet up, watching cooking shows!” she said to herself. She smelled something burning.
“Oh no, the mealworms!” She ran to the grill and pulled out the tray with an oven mitt, wafting the smoke off the worms that she had crusted in salt and was baking in oil and rosemary. She picked one up on a fork, blew on it then tasted it.
“Not bad!” she said, surprising herself. The idea of eating insects had taken more than just a moment to wrap her head around, but the more she learned, the more she loved it. In fact, after some lengthy experimentation, it was hard to believe she hadn’t been cooking insects her whole life!
Miss Duck smiled. She was ready to take on Nutriicorp.
Elizabella was pleased. Everything was really coming together. Sure, it was a little bizarre and a million things could go wrong, but for the first time in a long while, she felt like she might be getting on top of things. It had now been almost two weeks since Mr Gobblefrump had made the announcement, and she finally had a moment to think about the school song. She’d been happy to put it on the back burner because she was such an amazing writer that she knew she could do it at the last moment and still be amazing. But as she sat at her writing desk rubbing her temples and eating mandarins for inspiration, she realised nothing was coming to her.
Occasionally a rhyme would appear in her mind:
Bilby Creek Primary
Uniforms of Finery
Elizabella thought, We don’t really have uniforms of finery.
Mr Gobblefrump keeps order
We play the recorder
She sighed. Gah, terrible.
It wasn’t working, so she decided to eat some Liced Vovos for inspiration. Once you could get past the fact that you were eating parasites, they were pretty delicious. She chewed and thought. If we pull this off and manage to kick out Nutriicorp and reinstate Miss Duck, that sure will be an amazing chapter in the history of Bilby Creek! So amazing, you might even want to sing about it . . .
It was Friday and the last day of the school song competition. Mr Gobblefrump had been collecting all the bits and bobs submitted by all the students and was trying to put them together into a patchwork song. He had no idea what the final lyrics would be, but he did expect to be fully inundated with new entries today, as it was everybody’s final chance.
He was walking down the hall when he heard a scuffle and, if he wasn’t mistaken, a slightly evil laugh. He turned down the corridor towards his room. There he saw a very tiny man with a big puffy red chin and scraggly white hair. He was frozen with his hands wrapped around the box that held the competition entries.
“Sprung!” said Mr Gobblefrump, marching towards the man.
“Who on earth are you, and how dare you steal the competition entries!”
As Mr Gobblefrump walked closer, he realised the man was wearing a name badge.
“Grandpa Nutriicorp?” he said in disbelief. He couldn’t accept that the great man was standing before him, and that he really wasn’t so great after all. He wrestled the box away.
“You might have won this round, Gobblefrump,” Grandpa Nutriicorp said, “but remember: I OWN you.”
“You most certainly do not!” Mr Gobblefrump cried. “You can splash your Nutriicorp logo on everything, but you don’t own me and you certainly don’t own the spirit of Bilby Creek Primary School. And you never will! Now, if you will excuse me!”
And with that, Mr Gobblefrump took the precious box into his office, locked the door behind him and sat down to read.
The first thirty or so entries were clearly invalid ones from Grandpa Nutriicorp’s minions including:
Before they were distressed
Now the children have progressed
And the children they are blessed
By Nutriicorp, the very best
And:
We are family!
Nutriicorporation and me!
Mr Gobblefrump kept thumbing through entry after entry about Nutriicorp. He had to hand it to the Nutriicorp people, they had worked very hard at ruining the school song.
Eventually he got past them all and onto the real ones. One in particular caught his attention.
A message for Mr Gobblefrump
A man completely under the pump
As he collects the riffs and rhymes
About our history and the good old times
But what does the future hold for Bilby Creek?
Would you like to have a cheeky peek?
Put all the other verses together, my friend
Tomorrow you’ll know how this song will end.
Mr Gobblefrump was intrigued, if a little wary. Could this be a cryptic evil message from Nutriicorp? He didn’t even want to think about what they might have planned.
The only way Elizabella’s plan was going to succeed was if everyone worked together efficiently. So on Sunday, the day before Operation Epic Pikelet, Elizabella had called a conference in the park with Minnie, Ava, Evie, Huck and Sandy where she explained all the intricate details of the elaborate plan. It did seem like it was going to be very difficult to execute, but they had to try, and Elizabella had a way of pulling off the impossible.
So, very, very early the next morning, as planned, Huck, Minnie, Ava, Evie and Sandy met Toddberry at the Bilby Creek Swimming Pool. After a lot of moaning, Toddberry pulled out the giant silver pool cover. The kids walked down the grand streets of Bilby Creek towards the school with the cover. It would have been quite a sight, had anyone been awake.
Meanwhile, Elizabella was riding with Miss Duck in her Duck Truck. Bobbing along in the back was every type of container and vessel Miss Duck could get her hands on, all of them swishing with pikelet batter. There were also a number of smaller containers containing delicious insect experiments.
“I can’t believe we’re going to do this!” Miss Duck said to Elizabella, as they drove towards the school.
“Neither can I!” said Elizabella. “Miss Duck?”
“Yes?”
“I’m really sorry in advance if this doesn’t work.”
“If it doesn’t work then at least we can say we tried. Ridiculously hard,” Miss Duck
replied.
“Yes,” said Elizabella. “Nobody can deny that.”
They met up with Team Pool Cover at the school gates. It would be an hour before all the teachers and students began arriving. Everyone was nervous. Except for Elizabella and Minnie, who had a lot of experience with harebrained schemes.
“Maybe you should give them an encouraging speech?” Minnie whispered to Elizabella.
“Good idea.” Elizabella took a deep breath. “Guys, this may be the biggest thing that’s ever happened at Bilby Creek Primary.”
“Literally,” said Huck, staring into the distance, butterflies the size of seagulls fluttering around his stomach.
“Now, someone has to make the world’s biggest pikelet, yeah?” Elizabella said.
“Yeah!” Ava and Evie yelled back, getting inspired.
“Right now, out there – somewhere – there is another pikelet, holding the title of the world’s biggest. Do you want to be better than that pikelet?” Elizabella was really getting into this now.
“Yes!” said Miss Duck.
“And do you want to bring down Nutriicorp and bring back Miss Duck?”
“Yes!” everyone cheered.
“Then what are we waiting for?” Elizabella cried.
Together, the kids and Miss Duck took the giant rolled-up pool cover into the school playground. They laid it out on the hot asphalt in the morning sun, and waited for it to start warming up. Then they went to Miss Duck’s truck, and started getting the containers of pikelet batter. They poured them one by one onto the pool cover and watched as it slowly spread out, coating the playground in a thick, gooey, pale substance. After a lot of lifting and pouring, when everyone’s arms were very tired indeed, they sat back. They waited for it to start cooking. And waited. Nothing was happening.
“I’m not sure it’s going to work,” said Miss Duck. “Oh dear, what will we do with all this mess if it doesn’t turn into pikelet? We didn’t think of a clean-up plan!”
“Don’t give up hope, Miss Duck,” said Elizabella. “Look at the sky!”
Miss Duck gazed up and saw a little white cloud dance out of the way of the sun. Suddenly big orange sunbeams began shining down onto the batter. She closed her eyes, and clasped her hands together.
“Please, please, please, please, please!” she said to no one in particular.
“Miss Duck, look!” cried Elizabella. Miss Duck opened her eyes and saw little tiny bubbles forming on the batter on the silver cover.
“By gum!” said Miss Duck. “This may yet cook!”
Mr Gobblefrump was riding his bicycle to school. He had put together the finest words sent by the children into what he believed was an excellent school song. He didn’t know what to make of that bizarre, possibly evil message somebody had left him in the suggestion box, so he had ignored it. He planned on presenting the school song that very morning at assembly. It would be the biggest, most exciting thing that had happened at Bilby Creek Primary School in a very long time.
As he got to the school gates, he could sense something was off. He saw lots of people he didn’t recognise out the front of the school, and was that . . . a TV camera?
A reporter approached him.
“Chester Gobblefrump! Is this the biggest, most exciting thing that’s ever happened at Bilby Creek Primary?”
Mr Gobblefrump couldn’t believe it. Was the news really here to cover the new school song?
“Attempting to make the world’s biggest pikelet right here in Bilby Creek. What a stunt! How did you come up with the idea?”
Mr Gobblefrump squinted as photographers’ flashes went off all around him. Now he was completely confused.
“I . . . I . . .” Mr Gobblefrump had absolutely no idea what was going on. He could only assume that Grandpa Nutriicorp and his minions were up to something terrible.
“I . . . I . . .” he tried again. Nothing was coming to mind.
“Mr Gobblefrump, do you have any comment?” the reporter persisted.
“No!” he bellowed. “Please allow me to enter my school!”
He marched into the school and followed the commotion to its natural centre, the playground, where a large crowd of teachers, students and Bilby Creek citizens had gathered. And there he saw it.
What must have been the biggest pikelet in the entire world.
“And I officially declare this to be . . .” a voice came over a loudspeaker, “. . . the biggest pikelet in the entire world!”
Everyone cheered as the Guinness World Records judge made the announcement.
Once the pikelet had begun to cook, everyone had moved fast. Minnie had contacted the Guinness World Records to come down to judge the pikelet. Elizabella had called the Bilby Creek Gazette and the Bilby Creek six o’clock news. Meanwhile, Sandy, Huck, Ava, Evie and Miss Duck had very carefully cut around the edges of the giant rectangle to make it a fluffy, round pikelet.
Mr Gobblefrump put on his glasses to see exactly who was at the epicentre of this gargantuan incident.
Of course, he thought. Elizabella. But then he looked next to her. Elizabella and Miss Duck? Miss Duck is such a sensible woman, could she be working with Elizabella in this scheme? His mind was racing.
“Chester Gobblefrump!” The reporter from the Bilby Creek six o’clock news was back. “How does it feel to officially have the biggest pikelet in the world right here in Bilby Creek, right here in Bilby Creek Primary School, cooked by Miss Duck, the longest serving tuckshop lady in the whole of the Gumnut district?”
“I . . .” He still didn’t know how to respond.
The reporter didn’t miss a beat. “Having a tuckshop lady who made the world’s biggest pikelet could really put Bilby Creek Primary on the map!”
Mr Gobblefrump was still trying to process what was happening. The reporter ran over to Miss Duck. She was standing next to a trestle table with lots of objects on it covered in a big, white table cloth. The reporter shoved a microphone in her face.
“Miss Duck, why did you do it?”
“Of course I am so very proud to have made the world’s biggest pikelet,” Miss Duck said. “But, really, I have to admit it was a publicity stunt.”
Shock echoed throughout the crowds.
Elizabella was watching Miss Duck, mouthing along the words as she spoke. Of course Elizabella had helped Miss Duck to write a script to answer this question.
Miss Duck continued. “I wanted to draw attention to a far more important issue: world hunger.”
Now there were hushed tones and curious mutterings coming from everywhere.
“A very talented young student, Elizabella, was inspired by something she learned in Miss Carrol’s class.”
Everyone turned and stared at Miss Carrol, whose face had gone the same bright red shade as her hair. She had absolutely no idea what was going on.
“By 2050 we’ll need to be producing twice as much food as we are now to feed all the citizens of earth,” Miss Duck said. “And one solution to this problem is eating insects. They’re cheap, nutritious, plentiful and delicious.”
On cue, as they had discussed, Ava and Evie lifted up the table cloth to reveal a banquet of insects.
“Behold!” Miss Duck said. “Candied Ants, Smoked Spiders, Cricket Chocolate Chip Cookies!”
People peered at the table, then took a step back.
“Mr Gobblefrump, would you like to try a slice of Banana Worm Bread?” Miss Duck asked.
Mr Gobblefrump looked around. Everyone was smiling at him. He really wasn’t sure about eating insects, but with all this crowd and media pressure . . . plus if anyone could make them edible, it would be Miss Duck.
She held out a piece of Banana Worm Bread. He took a corner into his mouth and bit it off. He let the moist contents crumble about his gums, then down the gullet it went. His eyes lit up. He couldn’t help exclaiming, “Delicious!!”
The crowd cheered.
“Anything else to say, Miss Duck?” the reporter asked.
“Well, I
may not be able to cure world hunger with this feast,” she said, staring straight down the barrel of the camera, “but if Mr Gobblefrump would have me back, maybe I could make the Bilby Creek Primary School tuckshop profitable. And help spread the word about curing world hunger.”
“She’s good,” Minnie whispered to Elizabella.
“What do you say, Mr Gobblefrump?” the reporter asked, turning the microphone and camera towards him.
“Well, I, ah . . .” Mr Gobblefrump was trying to stutter out an answer when an almighty “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” rang out from the playground.
Everyone turned around. The noise was coming from the tuckshop roof, where an angry little man with a puffy red chin was making a terrible fuss.
“This is a NUTRIICORP tuckshop and a NUTRII-CORP school!” he screamed. “Now destroy the pikelet!” he ordered down to all the Nutriicorp people who were standing in two straight lines in front of the tuckshop. They didn’t budge.
“I said, destroy!” he tried again.
The Nutriicorp people started twitching and shaking their heads a little robotically.
Finally, one of them screamed, “Negative! We won’t do it!”
“You dare to defy me?” shouted Grandpa Nutriicorp.
“We love the pikelet!” came the cry from the Nutriicorp people.
It seemed that all the Nutriicorp people had turned on their leader, and they were now ready to follow a new one.
Some of them came out of the tuckshop with their arms full.
“This is sugar and lemon for the pikelet!” they said.
“Hey, that’s Nutriicorp sugar and lemon!” Grandpa Nutriicorp yelled. “Hey!” he yelled once more as a wayward lemon bounced off his head. It seemed one of the Nutriicorp people had thrown it at him.
The children cheered.
“That’s mean old Grandpa Nutriicorp!” Elizabella said, pointing at him. She grabbed the microphone that was in Miss Duck’s face. “And he wants Nutriicorp to take over the world!”
“What rubbish!” shrieked the man from the roof.
“Is it rubbish?” Elizabella asked. “Or is it the Nutriicorp Mission statement?” And she pulled the pamphlet out and held it up for the camera to see. “It’s all written here in this pamphlet.”
Elizabella and the Great Tuckshop Takeover Page 9
