“Pussycat,” he said, crouching down to eye level. His voice was calm. The glint in his ocean eyes wasn’t. “Is this a bad time to ask why my very, very pregnant wife is on the floor, crying, and trying to burn the damn house down first thing in the morning?”
Did I even need to say it?
My jaw quivered. A fresh wave of tears poured out of my stupid, leaky eyeholes. I swiped at them angrily while my vision blurred, forcing down the lump rising in my throat.
“French toast,” I choked out, wishing I could become an ostrich.
And that the kitchen was a beach filled with sand I could bury my head in.
And that maybe, just maybe, Mother Earth would recognize how pitiful I was and swallow me whole at the same time.
“Josie…”
I was too busy having a breakdown to analyze the tone he was using. Of course, I tried anyway. I wasn’t a quitter, damn it. That was the reason I was in this mess in the first place.
French toast was supposed to be easy. Eggs, milk, cinnamon, bread. Certainly wasn’t supposed to involve setting anything on fire.
“Come here, woman.” Strong arms secured me. Monster slid down to the floor, carefully pulling me into his lap along the way. “I know part of this is hormones and shit, but I think we need to have a little talk.”
A sob caught in my throat. “I’m sorry—”
“Nope,” he cut in before the last syllable was finished. “We’re not having any of that. I’ve already called in reinforcements for this breakfast fiasco.” What? Reinforcements? “What’s important right now is that you take deep breaths and listen.”
“Listen for what?”
“Breathe and relax. You’ll figure it out.”
A slight frown pinched my brows together, but I pulled in a breath. The first one was shallow, barely expanding my lungs. My following exhale sent a tremble through me from head to toe before I started the process over again.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
How long we sat there like that wasn’t clear.
But gradually, the tears slowed and dried.
Fingers I hadn’t even realized were denting his arm relaxed and let go, falling to my lap. I closed my eyes completely and laid my head against his chest, counting backward from one hundred while my body stopped going crazy.
When I nestled in closer to him, pulling my legs up as close as I could, I realized what I was supposed to be listening for.
I knew Monster’s body as well as I did my own. I knew exactly how his scowls began to form when he was pissed. Knew the number of times he would clench his fists when he was stressed about something. Knew the chaotic drumline of his heart when he was pounding away inside me while we both hurtled closer and closer to beautiful oblivion.
None of those were present.
The only thing that filled my ears, my mind, my soul, was the slow, steady beat of his heart. It was a sound better than any lullaby, and one I frequently fell asleep to when we were curled up in bed together.
His hand slid around, flattening on top of my stomach. A low hum vibrated his chest beneath my ear, but it was a struggle to summon the energy to open my eyes.
Plus, doing such a thing would risk shattering the fragile bounds of this peaceful cocoon. And I could seriously use all the peace I could get.
“Even the little one is settling down,” he murmured against my ear, lips brushing down my neck to place a searing kiss above my pulse. “How do you feel?”
“Better.” I shifted against him, getting more comfortable than I already was. I pulled my teeth between my lips, fingers flicking nervously at nothing. “Thank you for dealing with me. I know I’ve been a mess lately.”
He withheld his chuckle, not that it kept me from bouncing up and down on his chest while he did. “You’ve been a mess since I met you, pussycat.”
“Hey!” I swung an arm backward. Flailed, to be more accurate.
Monster caught my palm in his grip. Warm breath caressed my wrist and I drew in a sharp breath as he placed a kiss there before turning my hand over. He went along each finger, placing sweet kisses from the beginning of one knuckle to the end of the other.
My jaw quivered and I bit down on my tongue. “You better stop,” I warned him. “If you make me cry again, you’re gonna get your ass kicked by a pregnant woman.”
“Put me in a wheelchair. I’ll love you still.”
I rolled my eyes, a small smile tugging at my lips. “Have you ever thought about seeing a shrink? I think that statement brings up some concerning parts of your inner psyche.”
Moving carefully to keep from jostling me, Monster stood, sweeping me into his arms with ease that belied how much more I weighed these days. It wasn’t a minor amount, either. I’d given up stepping on scales completely.
Sometimes I wondered if I was carrying a watermelon instead of a baby.
“Any shrink with a brain would run the other way if they met me,” he said, smirking down at me as he strode into the living room. Monster claimed a spot at the corner of the sofa and slid down into it, taking me with him. “Besides, I don’t need them to tell me that I’m fucking crazy about you. That’s a given any day, any time, any place.”
My heart swelled, and I grinned so hard my cheeks hurt. But I had to give him shit for being so mushy.
What would our life be like if I rolled over and wagged my tongue every time he did something sweet?
Boring. That's what it would be.
I tipped my head back, looking at him upside down. “Are you sure?” I reached out, drumming my fingers along his cheek. “What if I don’t bounce back and lose the baby weight? Maybe you won’t love me anymore.”
Monster narrowed his eyes. As if he could hide the glimmer of amusement inside them. “You’re gonna get yourself in trouble,” he said, pressing another kiss to his forehead. “Keep talking like that, and I’m gonna have to shut you up the only way I know how.”
I sucked in a sharp breath, lashes falling. “Which way is that?” I asked softly, already knowing the answer.
His lips curved. “By shoving my dick down your throat until you can’t breathe,” he rumbled. Heat stirred between my legs. “But now isn’t the right time for that.”
“Why not?”
Yeah, I sounded like I was pouting because I was.
“I told you,” he said. “Reinforcements.”
My mouth opened to respond. I did remember him saying something about that, but I wasn’t in a condition to actually hear what the hell he was talking about. Before I could ask him to clarify, the doorbell rang, followed by a heavy fist pounding on solid wood.
“It’s open!” Monster boomed, making no move to release me or get up.
I pushed off his thighs and sat up in his embrace, just in time to see the front door fly open and a horde of bikers come marching in. One by one, the Sinners flooded into the house, taking up space like it belonged to them.
Creed came through first, gray eyes narrowed like he was just daring a brave soul to say something about the adorable, dark-haired three-year-old clinging to his pinky finger like it was a lifeline. I grinned at Creed before waving my fingers at his son, Roman. The little boy waved back and giggled, the sound going straight to my heart.
Tone, Rain, and Texas were next through the doorway, bringing in a gust of dry, summer heat with them. My sisters in everything but blood came next. Caitlin, Lizzy, Kayla, and Naomi were right on their heels, tossing bright smiles my way.
The procession continued, the spacious house quickly filling up with people that had their hands full of grocery bags.
“What’s going on?” I asked no one in particular after waves and hellos got tossed around.
Tone came towards the sofa while the rest disappeared into the kitchen, followed by the sound of the patio door opening at the back. He bumped his fist against Monster’s and saluted me with two fingers.
“We’re doing breakfast,” Tone said calmly, as if clos
e to two dozen people weren’t currently making themselves right at home.
He winked, walking off.
I paused for a moment, feeling the laughter shake the man who still held me tight.
I glanced at him over my shoulder, unable to stop my smile from matching his. “You called in an army for breakfast?”
He lifted a shoulder and let it fall, rubbing slow circles across my stomach. “We’ve got family now, a gigantic one at that. Might as well make the most of it, pussycat.”
I cupped his jaw, heart doing cartwheels and other complicated maneuvers. “I love you.”
He kissed my shoulder. “Love you back. Now please, leave the cooking to someone else.”
Laughter danced inside my chest as I turned and threw my arms around him, ignoring the rest of the noise surrounding us. “No promises…”
The End
Author’s Note
Well now, would you look at that. You made it!
If you’re reading this, that means you’ve officially reached the end of the book. That means this is the part where I say thank you a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. Heck, maybe I’ll just keep saying it until I either turn blue in the face or the galaxy collapses in on itself and becomes a black hole. One of those is more likely than the other, but you get the idea.
Thank you. Thank you times a million. There are so many other ways you could’ve spent your time, and yet you dedicated it to this. I can call myself a writer or an author or someone who just puts thoughts on a page all I want to, but there are no words to accurately describe my appreciation. If you have just a teensy bit more time, reviews are always helpful.
Most of this next part will be me decompressing onto the page about the experience that was writing this book, so if you have no interest in that feel free to keep scrolling. I hope to see you back in the next installment of the Seven Sinners.
Alrighty then, rambling time.
This book, y’all. This. Freaking. Book.
It killed me, and I wish more than anything that I could claim it did so in a loving way. Spoiler alert: that would be a lie. From the first moment the idea of a Sinner being hidden in plain sight popped into my head, this novel became a wresting match. Adding Josie to the mix was the equivalent of me stepping into the ring while her and Monster took turns hitting me in the face with chairs.
That’s about how I felt from the first chapter to completion. Like I was bumping into one character and getting bounced off just for the other to thrash me and start the process all over again. It wasn’t until after I finished this book the first time that I started to realize what the heck was going so wrong.
It was me. I was in the wrong. I called myself ‘improving’ my outlining process by creating the characters in greater detail before I even started. Maybe this works for plenty of other writers out there but it did not work for me in the least.
I discover my characters as I go along. By trying to define them at the onset, I put myself into a situation where I was trying to shove square pegs into triangle shaped openings. It didn’t work. And because things never come easy, I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t working until about halfway through the second draft.
Then it hit me. Once it did, I was finally able to go back through the latest draft with a fresh set of eyes and main characters that had forgiven me and agreed to cooperate.
Of course...you’ve now met them. Their idea of cooperation isn’t exactly standard. The bitter truth is that this novel was so much harder to tackle than I thought it would be, and I’m still not entirely sure it didn’t get the best of me. But this is what I signed up for. This is what I love to do, even when it isn’t easy.
Am I proud of this book? Yes.
Is it perfect? No.
Then again, none of them are. I could start at the beginning with Claimed by a Sinner and find a hundred plus things I want to do differently because I’ve grown in the years since I first wrote it.
And ya know what? Maybe someday I’ll do just that. Go back through each book in the series and tweak them to my heart’s content.
But for now, this is the actual ending and I’ll spare you the rest of my rambling.
What’s next?
I’ve got another somewhat secret project that’s heading into the second draft. Afterward, we’ve got book five of the main series which will feature Axle. Hopefully, these next few books cooperate more than this last one.
Hopefully...
In any case, see y’all soon!
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Monster: A Seven Sinners Novel Page 27
